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Whats the funniest memory you have?

F

Falco&Victory

Smash Champion
Joined
Apr 28, 2006
Messages
2,544
Location
South Hill, Washinton
Hmm, well I'm sure the best one is coming next week, when my friend is going to light his hand on fire(we're taking safety measures), yell "FIRE PUNCH!, and then punch me full force in the chest. He bet me money I would cry too ; )
 
Eor

Eor

Banned via Warnings
BRoomer
Joined
Jan 2, 2003
Messages
9,963
Location
Bed
After reading that, I hope your friend dies
 
K

Kitten

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Dec 18, 2006
Messages
419
Falco&Victory said:
Hmm, well I'm sure the best one is coming next week, when my friend is going to light his hand on fire(we're taking safety measures), yell "FIRE PUNCH!, and then punch me full force in the chest. He bet me money I would cry too ; )
Click to expand...
Apparently, if your hands are coated with vaseline (I KNOW MINE ALWAYS ARE), you can light your hand on fire without and pain. Sounds like your friend knows this.

One problem with this is that the flames wont get very big. If your friend wants a punch of falcon proportions, he should try gasoline. I know that sounds suicidal, but remember, it's not his hand burning, it's the gasoline. You might think that the heat coming from the burning gasoline would burn your friend, but it works on the same principle as sweating. His hand will in fact be cooled by the evaporating moisture (keep in mind that gasoline is a hyrdocarbon, so the carbon binds with oxygen in the surrounding air to form this moisture).
 
F8AL

F8AL

Banned via Warnings
Joined
Nov 15, 2006
Messages
12,403
Location
Ontario, Canada
Falco&Victory said:
Hmm, well I'm sure the best one is coming next week, when my friend is going to light his hand on fire(we're taking safety measures), yell "FIRE PUNCH!, and then punch me full force in the chest. He bet me money I would cry too ; )
Click to expand...
Videos/pictures or it didn't happen.
 
K

-Kazman-

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Aug 8, 2007
Messages
381
Location
wheres Tru=? wheres ChozenOne? wheres c-mart? foun
It all started on a Christmas morning circa 1993 in Milford, Deleware. I was a three-year old African-American youth growing up in the suburbs and Christmas was a time of joy for me. At least, it was at one point. Did I say my "favorite Christmas"; oh no, I meant "the Christmas that left my childhood in shambles: a husk of broken dreams."

I rushed downstairs to the Christmas tree to see a poorly-wrapped box with my name on it. Frantically, I open it to see a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Donatello action figure. ****ing kick ***. I opened the package with ease (this was a time before packaged goods were sealed with Orca blood and the souls of the ****ed) and grasped the toy in my hands.

Based on the design, I could tell that if you pressed down on the torso causing the legs to bend, springs would activate and upon my letting go, it would flip in the air and wow me with its acrobatic prowess. I gave it a shot. I placed his feet firmly on the ground and pressed down like I was giving my grandma CPR. Trembling with anticipation, I let go and watched as it went airborne, my young eyes filled with hope. But something was wrong! Donatello wasn't centering! He was falling neck first! Oh god! I watched in horror as I watched the poor toy's skull bounce ofo my kitchen floor. THUD! Thud! thud! thud! *silence*

I couldn't understand it! I had done everything right! There was only one ****ing instruction! Why, then, did Donatello lay on the floor a broken turtle. NO! I wouldn't give up! I lifted Donatello off his shell and tried it again; and again; and again; and again and again and again! WHY, GOD! WHY WASN'T THIS WORKING! I looked into the action figure's cold plastic eyes as tears welled in mine. He looked back at me and, I'll never forget, he told me, "I-I'm sorry, boss! I just can't do it! I just--Some turtles are meant to stay on their backs, Rod. I failed you!"

My heart broke. How could a three year old face such a harsh truth? I walked away giving Don one last pitying glance. Goodnight, sweet prince, maybe one day you'll face the world with your feet planted firmly on the ground. Maybe one day, you'll prove that a turtle can have his day. I walked back up to my room defeated.

And that is why I'm the cynical, miserable soul you see before you today.
 
Blackadder

Blackadder

Smash Master
Joined
Jun 17, 2007
Messages
3,164
Location
Purple
Kazman, you're the African American cynicle we all love.

That story was the single funniest story I have read in a fair while. Kudos to you! And Kudos to that poor...poor turtle. May his soul R.I.P.
 
K

Keku

Smash Apprentice
Joined
Jan 29, 2007
Messages
170
Location
Finland
-Kazman- said:
It all started on a Christmas morning circa 1993 in Milford, Deleware. I was a three-year old African-American youth growing up in the suburbs and Christmas was a time of joy for me. At least, it was at one point. Did I say my "favorite Christmas"; oh no, I meant "the Christmas that left my childhood in shambles: a husk of broken dreams."

I rushed downstairs to the Christmas tree to see a poorly-wrapped box with my name on it. Frantically, I open it to see a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Donatello action figure. ****ing kick ***. I opened the package with ease (this was a time before packaged goods were sealed with Orca blood and the souls of the ****ed) and grasped the toy in my hands.

Based on the design, I could tell that if you pressed down on the torso causing the legs to bend, springs would activate and upon my letting go, it would flip in the air and wow me with its acrobatic prowess. I gave it a shot. I placed his feet firmly on the ground and pressed down like I was giving my grandma CPR. Trembling with anticipation, I let go and watched as it went airborne, my young eyes filled with hope. But something was wrong! Donatello wasn't centering! He was falling neck first! Oh god! I watched in horror as I watched the poor toy's skull bounce ofo my kitchen floor. THUD! Thud! thud! thud! *silence*

I couldn't understand it! I had done everything right! There was only one ****ing instruction! Why, then, did Donatello lay on the floor a broken turtle. NO! I wouldn't give up! I lifted Donatello off his shell and tried it again; and again; and again; and again and again and again! WHY, GOD! WHY WASN'T THIS WORKING! I looked into the action figure's cold plastic eyes as tears welled in mine. He looked back at me and, I'll never forget, he told me, "I-I'm sorry, boss! I just can't do it! I just--Some turtles are meant to stay on their backs, Rod. I failed you!"

My heart broke. How could a three year old face such a harsh truth? I walked away giving Don one last pitying glance. Goodnight, sweet prince, maybe one day you'll face the world with your feet planted firmly on the ground. Maybe one day, you'll prove that a turtle can have his day. I walked back up to my room defeated.

And that is why I'm the cynical, miserable soul you see before you today.
Click to expand...
DUDE! I did the exactly same thing with my Donatello-figure! It was utter bullcrap, I prolly never succeeded in doing a flip! Man, this post gave me a warm sense of community and sharing traumas. Cheers,
 
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