What is your best John story?

[Dark Byte]

To distinguish this from the other recent Johns thread, this one can be specifically for real life John stories.

I have one friend who attempts to invalidate every victory of mine every single time we play. His soreness as a winner is topped only by his soreness as a loser.

I'll never forget the time that I caught his falco with a sick short hop fair as doc, for the game. He instantly declared "I misclicked, so you couldn't possibly have read my movement! It was a mistake that I was in that spot!". As if that wasn't bad enough, he tried to tell me that I must have misclicked as well. Like this guy was saying that my shffl forward air was a mistake because I "normally wavedash before that move and I didn't that time" (wtf?).

He's looking at me the whole time as if I'm supposed to admit that the whole situation was a complete fluke and that he was the real winner. I'm like, "no dude, I beat you fair and square". he just laughs and says "right dude of course you did".

Sometimes you just can't win.

 

[Jink8]

I once said that I wavedashed the wrong way (lol)

 

[Dolla Pills]

"The 20XX random music messed me up"

"Marth's sword is changing colors so I can't play how I want to"

 

[-ACE-]

Had a guy complain about lag on a CRT the other day (I'm extremely good at noticing lag, tv was fine). Sheiks hate losing to Ganon lol.

 

[Dark Byte]

"The 20XX random music messed me up"

Ha, I've definitely used that one. Do you know what a mind**** it is to play on fd with the yoshi's music playing? Totally legit excuse for a loss, kappa.

 

[ThunderCat]

My brother was getting nailed by random falcon punches all day and he boiled it down to controller johns. New controller, new game and he again loses two stocks to falcon punches. He immediately resets and declares all the controllers ****. I will never let him live it down.

 

[Delta Chae]

This guy in my scene is a sore loser but an absolutely terrible winner (Which is hilarious since he never wins anyway, I can consistently 2-0 3 or 4 stock this guy in bracket, to put that in perspective: most people in my local scene can consistently do that to me). Every time he loses a stock or gets caught in a combo he starts raging and whining about how "His luck wasn't with him" in spite of the fact that luck should never even be a factor under tournament conditions and on the off chance that he does win (Keep in mind that I'm probably the 4th worst player in my area out a group of about 25) he gets extremely high and mighty and starts rubbing his victory in the opponent's face. For the lolz I once challenged this guy to a $30 Bo7 MM, threw the first 3 games, and then destroyed him 4 games in row, the look on his face and his salt was priceless. I'm a terrible person but it was hilarious.

 

[Dark Byte]

This guy in my scene is a sore loser but an absolutely terrible winner (Which is hilarious since he never wins anyway, I can consistently 2-0 3 or 4 stock this guy in bracket, to put that in perspective: most people in my local scene can consistently do that to me). Every time he loses a stock or gets caught in a combo he starts raging and whining about how "His luck wasn't with him" in spite of the fact that luck should never even be a factor under tournament conditions and on the off chance that he does win (Keep in mind that I'm probably the 4th worst player in my area out a group of about 25) he gets extremely high and mighty and starts rubbing his victory in the opponent's face. For the lolz I once challenged this guy to a $30 Bo7 MM, threw the first 3 games, and then destroyed him 4 games in row, the look on his face and his salt was priceless. I'm a terrible person but it was hilarious.

That is truly evil, especially since you knew he had no chance of winning and you still agreed to play a money match with him...props to you

 

[Delta Chae]

That is truly evil, especially since you knew he had no chance of winning and you still agreed to play a money match with him...props to you

Hey, I even told him afterwards that I was challenging him and was in no way shape or form forcing him to accept. Pride is very dangerous thing indeed. Besides ez money!

 

[Face of /b/]

Hey, I even told him afterwards that I was challenging him and was in no way shape or form forcing him to accept. Pride is very dangerous thing indeed. Besides ez money!

Bizarro quotes for the win.

I once played a Marth ditto and 4stocked, but my friend Alex told me that I cheated. I asked how and he said "Marth's counter is illegal in tournament because it's disrespectful"

Rip in pip

 

[Kor_Hey_1]

We played the tournament mode with 2 others friend. One was playing puff and the other luigi. The Luigi main usually win in friendlies but this time puff main tried hard and destroyed him. His excuse was "I didn't want to play against a falco main during the next match". He's such a sore loser, every time he plays against my falco he says that the character is broken.

 

[Spak]

There was a freshman back in mid 2014 that saw we were playing PM during lunch break for our band camp, and decided to challenge all of us to try and beat him. We all agree and completely demolish him, so he gets salty and says the words "I would beat all of you if I had my Wii Remote" (like any respectable group of Smashers, we only had GameCube controllers.) Everyone who played Smash in the room other than him got a good laugh at that. Funny thing is he's gotten a little better than me at Melee since then (he plays a filthy Shiek,) but we don't ever let him forget how scrubby he was when he first came to high school.

 

[iAmMatt]

I was once told that "these are friendlies, and no one plays their main in friendlies" (he was playing fox and I was playing g&w)

he went on to play fox in tournament and get knocked out in round 1