Thoughts on this writing?

[moyshe]

We only have a short time in life when bass rattles our bones and we enjoy it. We only have a short time when we enjoy sleeping on the floor as long as our friends surround us. We only have a short time when talking until the sun comes up doesn't make us tired. We only have a short time to be invincible. We only have a short time to be young, worry about the future after you create a past.

 

[pandacheck]

Sounds like we don't have much time for anything hah, I like it though. But we'll always have time to SMASH.

 

[The Mano Games VII]

I don't really know how to grade it if you're asking for a Letter grade or a score out of 10. I guess if you want my opinion, I found it bland. I mean, the format was pretty simple, I've heard the idea before, and it wasn't particularly long. The imagery didn't really jump out at me either. I mean, I liked "sleeping on the ground surrounded by our friends" for the warm memories it stirs up in me about going over to sleepovers with my friends, but, other than that...

Did that help?