There isn't enough love in the world

[INSANE CARZY GUY]

Link to original post: [drupal=3732]There isn't enough love in the world[/drupal]



I can't feel any of it really but I don't care about me really I am always trying to spread it. help me : ( I don't know i'm in love for the first time and she's in my mind every waking minute of my life and has been for over a month. I wake up I go to sleep. People are to cold even me. My guts being ripped at the seems and all the pain can't make me cry or anything I wish I could out the pain out even when i'm by myself I can't even rown really.

I will suffer forever like this but spread the love we need it sooo much. I love you all : ( I wish I could feel more but i'm to cold I doubt anyone understands how cold I am.

 

[Placebo Effect]

I know that feeling more than you'd think...

And there probably isn't, but in all honesty, people are people, let them do as they may, they're only humans. If you get down because of them, you're letting them win.
I know it's a corny quote but "Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

 

[INSANE CARZY GUY]

I just want to make life suck a little less for everyone. Really ALL people are very alike and extremely different at the same time. You know what it's like to look at all cutthroat people and not care for any or the group really but just trying to help because there's no reason not to. I could kill someone I could be a sick cold person even to myself I've dug around in my wounds with knifes hitting nerves that are extremely painful just for amusement and I don't really like pain I just don't care.

But i'm extremely careing even if it's easy to be heartlessly cold like how I am sometimes.

 

[Placebo Effect]

Exactly, but for everyone? I'm sorry to say this but not everyone deserves that. It would be nice, and in a perfect world none of this would have started. But, unfortunately, this is Earth. But what about those you do care about most? Since you can't care for everyone, try focusing it on those who count.

Now I'm not saying that caring is unrealistic, or that even attempting to be is, but sometimes just stepping back for awhile is the best option, and I'm sure alot of people care about you, isn't hurting yourself letting them down? I know because I have done this as well, many times, but in a much more discrete way.

If you can't be caring to yourself for you, at least be caring for yourself for others. It was hard for me to do this at first, but after a few people got worried about me and I told them about the most messed up thing I tried, I realized how much I hurt them, and I can't stand hurting people at all. Really really really cautious about it.

And besides, wouldn't it be so much easier to make life be a little better for everyone if you counted yourself too? You're a people too, ya'know. :3

Same with the thing about the girl, that's a difficult one, and I am very familiar with that situation and then some (strange as **** situation) as well...
Maybe you should try talking to her or something, personally I am no professional on this subject but it might just help you feel better (I do when I'm around Her, granted I hate that I get so happy around Her in a way and have a ton of trouble with talking to Her and everything), and who knows, she might like you back.

I'm not sure about what else I can say (I can be kinda socially awkward and have trouble talking to people), but you can PM me if you want.

 

[INSANE CARZY GUY]

i'm glad you care and make me matter more. Hey would like let a cuttroat a**hole who stole from handicapped friends and beat the s*** out of people over little things get a chance? That was me 4th grade I also faked my dad's sigture to avoid half the trouble I got in.

In truth I doubt pople care about my depression issues because they can't see the effects. I don't frown, cry or change my voice I can be at the point of breaking an dI fall down in parking lots from lack of will power As long as they don't see me drop like that it's impossible to really care it's not like i'm any less funny/fun really. I'll suffer my whole life in many ways when I lost my mind 2 years I suffered from mental breakdowns and all kinds of pain.

I do what I can and it's more than I should. But really I doubt even I care to much about it anymore if I wanted to I can make myself happy and forget all my troubles in a heartbeat I don't care enough to make myself happy every 10 minutes

 

[Placebo Effect]

I have a pretty messed up past too man, believe me...
Yes, I'd let one get a chance (but you aren't and weren't a cutthroat ***hole, you were a kid who let his anger get the best of him), to not give you a chance wouldn't be very caring.

You're right, and even if you did show it then alot of people STILL wouldn't care about your depression, that's just how people are, but in all honesty, are those people worth your time? Plus, everybody has issues, that's life.

Bottling it up is really bad for you, nomatter how much it may seem to help, I'm sure you know that though, I still do the same thing too, but some of it just seems to disappear after awhile, either that or take it out on other things (channeling anger and other bad emotions into things like Melee, can help alot).

If you don't push yourself so hard for those who don't matter then you'd have more time to work on your own issues, realistic doesn't always mean dark, hell even seeing the darkness and whatnot of all this can help a ton, all you have to do is accept it as an inevitability and see every option, good and bad.

But it all takes time and effort, you'll get things figured out and things will get better if you let them, they always do.
Good luck with everything, and please at least try. :3

 

[Charmander]

Love? Girl in your mind every waking moment? Over a month? In a lot of pain? Strange urge to kill others even though you are a caring person by nature?

Sounds like me, welcome to the bandwagon, Carzy. If I find out how to solve this **** imma let you know.

 

[INSANE CARZY GUY]

I don't know I couldn't care less if I killed people or not it hardly matters.

The mental pain was the h*** in my head I basically lost control over my mind and everything was twisted into pain I begged myself to stop one of the most painful things ever.

Really we are all alike and very different at the same time. Yes some of that stuff is normal I argee and maybe there's stuff that other people suffer that I don't yet feel.

However I doubt people have some of my choices I can just choice to be happy, sad, or get an adenline rush. I can choice to let the pain go away if I can think enough to rememeber I can. I've heard people tell me that is wierd andI learned how to when I was out of my mind crazy and it helped me cope better.

I don't know I can take anything I need to build myself back up againthese 5 week of on and off depression are pretty rough.

 

[Ballistics]

Carzy check out what this guy has to say about unconditional love and women: Ideagasms.net

Fulfill your Yang role

 

[INSANE CARZY GUY]

funny I have no pride whatso ever XD But i'll admit my lack of pride is pretty extreme I normally find more beauty in a somewhat toilet than anything I could create and sometimes do : P