Deathdealer1929
Smash Rookie
The Lost ****ed Chapter 2
It’s 8:00 pm and the alarm goes off. For some reason I always have the **** alarm on Z100, which I might add, is a fairly mediocre radio station much like MTV is a fairly mediocre television channel. I wake up from my fairly mediocre spring mattress with my clothes still on from yesterday. I guess you can say after being clinically dead for more than fifty years, you stop caring for personal hygiene. Besides the benefit of being a corpse and a very good looking one at that is I no longer have body odor to speak of, so it’s a win win. I press the button to deactivate the alarm clock and I look to my left and right. Guess what, it’s something out of a horror movie. Next to me are naked corpses of skinny, fair breasted women, which I picked up from the nightclub after last night’s torture. They were tasty snacks I must say, although I kind of wish my bite marks on their necks and ***** weren’t leaking so much. I hear a knock at my door.
-It’s open!
-It’s me Ralf.
-Salutations Ralf, now please come in! The door is open.
The door opens and out comes a 6, 7 olive skinned, and very hairy Puerto Rican who so happens to be a lycan. You think that’s weird, he’s my next door neighbor and landlord.
-Hey Tommy, yeah I don’t mean to be a bother or anything but….JESUS VAMPIRE CHRIST what the hell happened here?
-I was hungry!
-No need to pout, but why are they naked?
-My ***** was hungry too….
-Did you have to bite their *****? That’s cold.
-They weren’t on their periods yet. I couldn’t wait.
-My GOD! How old were they?
-Seventeen.
-That’s a little young don’t you think?
-**** I care. Young girls who are about to hit physical maturity taste the best.
Not to mention the fact that they like to **** older men. What was it you wanted anyway?
-Uhh well! The people have been complaining…again, about noise in this room. So
I’m going to say this once, what you guys do with your ***** is your own business but the screaming has to stop.
-It was just a little torture Ralf, nothing big. Is it Mr. Jenkins *****ing again? I swear I should probably skull **** him.
-Whatever gets you off man, I don’t judge. Anyway I’m gonna leave now I did what I had to do. You guys stay out of trouble.
-Oh ho ho ho! Trouble is my bed mistress.
With that being said the naked corpse to my left falls down from the side of the bed.
I finish changing into new clothes considering the obvious smell of fresh blood and possibly other questionable bodily fluids on me. I change into a brown leather jacket, the expensive kind that has fur around the collar. I wear dark blue jeans, and no not the tight kind, this **** actually fits me. My cell phone rings the usual ring tone of a woman achieving orgasm. Yeah I’m normal.
-Hello?
-Aye Tommy, how ya doin? Hey listen I need you to get ova here pronto.
-Okay? Where is here?
I hear a subtle sucking sound on the other end of the phone for a good thirty seconds.
-Ahhh! My apologies Tommy boy, meet me at Skylight Diner on W. 34th street.
Make sure no one is following you, got that tough guy?
-Clear as crystal Vinny. I’ll be there in a half hour.
-Good, make sure you do. Oh and it’s Vicenzo, not Vinny. My mutha calls me Vinny.
-Your mother’s dead Vin.
-So are we, hurry up.
I leave my apartment and to Ralf’s room which is next door to pay the rent. When I open the door I see a bloody mess of gore and intestines all over the floor and ceiling, with blood dripping loudly on the wood.
-I’m here to pay the rent Rick.
Ralf is in his wolf man form, and apparently someone forgot to pay their rent. He talks in a raspy voice befitting his bestial look.
-Just put the money on the counter.
-Kay, have a good night.
-You too.
I get to the diner like Vinny wanted, and see that the whole place is abandoned. Half of the lights in the place are lit while the others are completely off. I find the waiter who works behind the counter to be shaking and sweating his *** off as I casually walk past the masses of dead bodies littering the diner floor. I sniff the air and realize the man has pissed himself not too long ago. Vinny sits on a table in front of me, I notice him with his usual black mafia suit amongst the carnage as he raises his wine glass which happens to be full of blood from a dead waitress on his table. That’s too bad, she looks cute.
-Vinny, I like what you’ve done with the place.
-It’s Vincenzo, and thank you. I made sure to use a silencer this time. Now we gotta make this quick before the cops come. You know how the human law enforcement is in this town.
I sit down on the seat across from him. The waiter is still shaking as he stares at us behind the counter. He’s probably frozen in fear since he hasn’t even run away yet.
-So, what do you need me for?
-There’s tawk amongst the press of grisly murders happenin all over the **** place. Just this morning there was a report of a man half eaten in central pawk.
-A murder, okay, what does this have to do with me?
-The pigs brought back the dead body to do whatever their forensics guys do. You watch CSI right?
-Here and there yeah. I especially liked the episode with the prostitute. To think the guy is dumb enough to get jealous over a prostitute working with another client other than himself. Had to stab the man too. You’d think the world’s oldest profession would have a fine print indicating that everything is all business and there’s no attachment involved. Ah but humans would be humans.
-Yea yea, listen shut up, we gotta do this quick before anyone realizes we’re here.
I look around to see more shot up and the occasional blood drained victim all over the floor and table. There’s even a guy impaled on a fan that is still moving in about 3 miles per hour.
-Yeeeeeeeeeeeeah, okay got it, go on.
-Now, these forensics guys, they do their thing, but then over a sudden they find the body is missing.
-Kay go on.
-So they look around for the body to find it walking around alive and well, or so they think. They find the “corpse” eating some secretary who got too nosey for her own good.
-Wow.
-Now you think it’s no big deal right? However as you may know if you watch television from time to time, there’s been murders like this everywhere for months now. The police find some poor shmuck torn apart and dead, only to find that guy getting up again and attacking the cops. It goes even further than that.
-Oh how the plot thickens. Please do tell so we can get this story on the way my friend.
-There are rumors, that there are groups of these dead people, attacking and outright eating random people all around the city.
-Sounds like something from a really bad movie, but where does this concern me Vinny?
-Vincen…..ahhh, the Boss is getting nervous Tom. He’s afraid of these creatures increasing in numbers. There are cases of people getting bitten and then turning into one of them later. If that’s the case, then the Boss is certain that if the murders continue they’ll soon over power us in numbers and become a real pain in the ***.
-I can see that.
-There’s too few of us as it is Tom, if these things keep multiplying we might be facing an epidemic here.
-Oh dear, wouldn’t want that!
-Try to be serious; this is not the time for your bull**** sarcasm.
-Okay fine. Me and the boys will take the job.
-Good, and so you bone heads don’t screw this up, I’ll be comin with. Ya got that?
-Yeah Mr. Corleone I got that. What’s next, you gonna give me an offer I can’t refuse?
-Watch your mouth.
We get up from our seats and proceed to leave the diner. I give the waiter a twenty dollar tip on the counter and just stare at him.
-Here, buy yourself something nice!
I give him a big smile and walk outside with Vinny. Then I realize something. I take Vin’s silenced 9mm and shoot the guy in the head. I take cash from the register and my twenty dollar bill. I need money for a cab ride.
It’s 8:00 pm and the alarm goes off. For some reason I always have the **** alarm on Z100, which I might add, is a fairly mediocre radio station much like MTV is a fairly mediocre television channel. I wake up from my fairly mediocre spring mattress with my clothes still on from yesterday. I guess you can say after being clinically dead for more than fifty years, you stop caring for personal hygiene. Besides the benefit of being a corpse and a very good looking one at that is I no longer have body odor to speak of, so it’s a win win. I press the button to deactivate the alarm clock and I look to my left and right. Guess what, it’s something out of a horror movie. Next to me are naked corpses of skinny, fair breasted women, which I picked up from the nightclub after last night’s torture. They were tasty snacks I must say, although I kind of wish my bite marks on their necks and ***** weren’t leaking so much. I hear a knock at my door.
-It’s open!
-It’s me Ralf.
-Salutations Ralf, now please come in! The door is open.
The door opens and out comes a 6, 7 olive skinned, and very hairy Puerto Rican who so happens to be a lycan. You think that’s weird, he’s my next door neighbor and landlord.
-Hey Tommy, yeah I don’t mean to be a bother or anything but….JESUS VAMPIRE CHRIST what the hell happened here?
-I was hungry!
-No need to pout, but why are they naked?
-My ***** was hungry too….
-Did you have to bite their *****? That’s cold.
-They weren’t on their periods yet. I couldn’t wait.
-My GOD! How old were they?
-Seventeen.
-That’s a little young don’t you think?
-**** I care. Young girls who are about to hit physical maturity taste the best.
Not to mention the fact that they like to **** older men. What was it you wanted anyway?
-Uhh well! The people have been complaining…again, about noise in this room. So
I’m going to say this once, what you guys do with your ***** is your own business but the screaming has to stop.
-It was just a little torture Ralf, nothing big. Is it Mr. Jenkins *****ing again? I swear I should probably skull **** him.
-Whatever gets you off man, I don’t judge. Anyway I’m gonna leave now I did what I had to do. You guys stay out of trouble.
-Oh ho ho ho! Trouble is my bed mistress.
With that being said the naked corpse to my left falls down from the side of the bed.
I finish changing into new clothes considering the obvious smell of fresh blood and possibly other questionable bodily fluids on me. I change into a brown leather jacket, the expensive kind that has fur around the collar. I wear dark blue jeans, and no not the tight kind, this **** actually fits me. My cell phone rings the usual ring tone of a woman achieving orgasm. Yeah I’m normal.
-Hello?
-Aye Tommy, how ya doin? Hey listen I need you to get ova here pronto.
-Okay? Where is here?
I hear a subtle sucking sound on the other end of the phone for a good thirty seconds.
-Ahhh! My apologies Tommy boy, meet me at Skylight Diner on W. 34th street.
Make sure no one is following you, got that tough guy?
-Clear as crystal Vinny. I’ll be there in a half hour.
-Good, make sure you do. Oh and it’s Vicenzo, not Vinny. My mutha calls me Vinny.
-Your mother’s dead Vin.
-So are we, hurry up.
I leave my apartment and to Ralf’s room which is next door to pay the rent. When I open the door I see a bloody mess of gore and intestines all over the floor and ceiling, with blood dripping loudly on the wood.
-I’m here to pay the rent Rick.
Ralf is in his wolf man form, and apparently someone forgot to pay their rent. He talks in a raspy voice befitting his bestial look.
-Just put the money on the counter.
-Kay, have a good night.
-You too.
I get to the diner like Vinny wanted, and see that the whole place is abandoned. Half of the lights in the place are lit while the others are completely off. I find the waiter who works behind the counter to be shaking and sweating his *** off as I casually walk past the masses of dead bodies littering the diner floor. I sniff the air and realize the man has pissed himself not too long ago. Vinny sits on a table in front of me, I notice him with his usual black mafia suit amongst the carnage as he raises his wine glass which happens to be full of blood from a dead waitress on his table. That’s too bad, she looks cute.
-Vinny, I like what you’ve done with the place.
-It’s Vincenzo, and thank you. I made sure to use a silencer this time. Now we gotta make this quick before the cops come. You know how the human law enforcement is in this town.
I sit down on the seat across from him. The waiter is still shaking as he stares at us behind the counter. He’s probably frozen in fear since he hasn’t even run away yet.
-So, what do you need me for?
-There’s tawk amongst the press of grisly murders happenin all over the **** place. Just this morning there was a report of a man half eaten in central pawk.
-A murder, okay, what does this have to do with me?
-The pigs brought back the dead body to do whatever their forensics guys do. You watch CSI right?
-Here and there yeah. I especially liked the episode with the prostitute. To think the guy is dumb enough to get jealous over a prostitute working with another client other than himself. Had to stab the man too. You’d think the world’s oldest profession would have a fine print indicating that everything is all business and there’s no attachment involved. Ah but humans would be humans.
-Yea yea, listen shut up, we gotta do this quick before anyone realizes we’re here.
I look around to see more shot up and the occasional blood drained victim all over the floor and table. There’s even a guy impaled on a fan that is still moving in about 3 miles per hour.
-Yeeeeeeeeeeeeah, okay got it, go on.
-Now, these forensics guys, they do their thing, but then over a sudden they find the body is missing.
-Kay go on.
-So they look around for the body to find it walking around alive and well, or so they think. They find the “corpse” eating some secretary who got too nosey for her own good.
-Wow.
-Now you think it’s no big deal right? However as you may know if you watch television from time to time, there’s been murders like this everywhere for months now. The police find some poor shmuck torn apart and dead, only to find that guy getting up again and attacking the cops. It goes even further than that.
-Oh how the plot thickens. Please do tell so we can get this story on the way my friend.
-There are rumors, that there are groups of these dead people, attacking and outright eating random people all around the city.
-Sounds like something from a really bad movie, but where does this concern me Vinny?
-Vincen…..ahhh, the Boss is getting nervous Tom. He’s afraid of these creatures increasing in numbers. There are cases of people getting bitten and then turning into one of them later. If that’s the case, then the Boss is certain that if the murders continue they’ll soon over power us in numbers and become a real pain in the ***.
-I can see that.
-There’s too few of us as it is Tom, if these things keep multiplying we might be facing an epidemic here.
-Oh dear, wouldn’t want that!
-Try to be serious; this is not the time for your bull**** sarcasm.
-Okay fine. Me and the boys will take the job.
-Good, and so you bone heads don’t screw this up, I’ll be comin with. Ya got that?
-Yeah Mr. Corleone I got that. What’s next, you gonna give me an offer I can’t refuse?
-Watch your mouth.
We get up from our seats and proceed to leave the diner. I give the waiter a twenty dollar tip on the counter and just stare at him.
-Here, buy yourself something nice!
I give him a big smile and walk outside with Vinny. Then I realize something. I take Vin’s silenced 9mm and shoot the guy in the head. I take cash from the register and my twenty dollar bill. I need money for a cab ride.
