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The Legend of Zelda: The Lost Sword (an update! only 6 months late)
- Thread starter Eor
- Start date
- Status
Yea, this is some pretty good stuff. I can see exactly how it would make a Zelda game thus far.
Your writing is fine and all, with enough detail and what-not. Your fight scenes are executed good, too.
You need to work on your grammar a bit, and I don't just mean spelling. Also, you repeat some of your phrases a little too close to each other...
Like "shredding flesh and skin" or something akin to that, and "But _____ was ready."
Just some little presentation issues, is all. Don't let me stop you.
Your writing is fine and all, with enough detail and what-not. Your fight scenes are executed good, too.
You need to work on your grammar a bit, and I don't just mean spelling. Also, you repeat some of your phrases a little too close to each other...
Like "shredding flesh and skin" or something akin to that, and "But _____ was ready."
Just some little presentation issues, is all. Don't let me stop you.
Zelse
Smash Apprentice
Very good. I enjoyed it alot, some grammar mishaps but not much. 9/10
Right, im putting my own fic on hold for a while. Reasons on pretty simple:
1. Its not original. Another "Link goes on to learn how to fight and beats evil man, blah blah blah"
2. Its not mine. While i helped add on to most of the plot, large and major chunks (such as the old man, and the kindof backbone of the story) was already completed when I joined.
3. I rushed it. I didn't re-read what I wrote, which means the story is poorly written and I have tons of Grammar mistakes that are easily fixed, if I saw them (still do have a grammar problem, though)
4. It sucks. Im not happy with it, at all. Halin torturing the Moblin? That had no effect on the plot. I added it without a second though, thinking it would be good to show how "he doesn't care who he hurts as long as he gets revenge". Instead, it was just something dark that had no revelance, and was a waste of time. I just dont like it.
I am working on a much more original fic, which is still kindof with the Zelda theme. It is based on zelda, but I kind of picked up Hyrule and its religion, and just glued it into my own. I have been plot planning it for around 2 years (on and off), and I am actually happy with it. I will be posting that soon, so if you liked this, please look out for it.
1. Its not original. Another "Link goes on to learn how to fight and beats evil man, blah blah blah"
2. Its not mine. While i helped add on to most of the plot, large and major chunks (such as the old man, and the kindof backbone of the story) was already completed when I joined.
3. I rushed it. I didn't re-read what I wrote, which means the story is poorly written and I have tons of Grammar mistakes that are easily fixed, if I saw them (still do have a grammar problem, though)
4. It sucks. Im not happy with it, at all. Halin torturing the Moblin? That had no effect on the plot. I added it without a second though, thinking it would be good to show how "he doesn't care who he hurts as long as he gets revenge". Instead, it was just something dark that had no revelance, and was a waste of time. I just dont like it.
I am working on a much more original fic, which is still kindof with the Zelda theme. It is based on zelda, but I kind of picked up Hyrule and its religion, and just glued it into my own. I have been plot planning it for around 2 years (on and off), and I am actually happy with it. I will be posting that soon, so if you liked this, please look out for it.
blaksheap82
Smash Ace
It's going along well, even if it is a slightly run-of-the-mill Zelda story. You've been putting in some things that aren't usually in Zelda games, so don't worry about that. You're right, the torture scene was kind of pointless and gratuitous, but I'm enjoying the story focusing on some other chars like Halin, whoever the Big Lizard is, and the old man in Link's dreams, instead of it being solely about the Triforce Three. The brief scenes about the dreams being released in little bits are working well so far, just as long as you don't draw it out too much by only raising questions and not giving any answers. The action is described well, making it easy to picture as it's being read. Someone said something about repeated phrases, and making a bit of it too wordy, like "But he was ready," so aside from that and the smattering of grammar mistakes, like some have pointed out, good job, keep it up. Hope to see a bit more.
hahaha EORLINGAS! I didnt know you enjoyed dipping your quill into Link fan fiction! You sly dog, you!
I didn't know Link finally buys the Invincible Suit! Amazing 
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