Deathdealer1929
Smash Rookie
The Boy Who Cried Wolf
My name is Alan. Alan Sullivan. And today I am bored out of my mind. Here I am with my brother, Ray Sullivan, sitting on the sidewalk near Times Square.
-Ray. Hey Ray. RAY!
-What?! I was having the greatest dream ever!
-Oh really? What did this dream entail?
-I dreamed about something really similar to Underworld. Only instead of vampires and werewolves, it’s a war between the ‘yes’ and the ‘no’s.
-The yes and the no’s?
-The ‘yes’ and the ‘no’s. And and, a hybrid of both yes and no is created, a monster known only as, ‘maybe’.
-Fascinating.
-No wait. There’s more. The villain of the epic war is the ‘Question’, with his evil sidekick, ‘I don’t know’. Oh oh and there’s two comic relief characters called ‘na uh’ and ‘ya huh’.
-Na uh and ya huh?
-Na uh and ya huh.
-You’re insane Ray.
-No I’m a genius. If I were to make it to a movie, it’d be called: “Pronoun.”
You have to give it to my brother Ray. You may think he’s weird, but he’s simply ahead of his time. And maybe ahead of your grandchildren’s time too, unfortunately. Now as we talk about our daily irrelevancies Ray comes across one of his most clever ideas.
-Alan! I have a most clever idea.
-So long as it does not involve anything illegal this time, tell me.
-What if, you go up to some random yet sketchy person in the middle of the street and just say ‘I know. I know. And I told everyone.’ And then walk away. You think that’d ruin that person’s day as he wonders what you know?
Normally when Ray has a crazy idea, I just listen to him, humor him, and then outright ignore him by changing the subject. But then it hits me. What Ray is saying isn’t all that bad of an idea for a joke. I mean I’m bored enough, and I highly doubt that anyone I randomly bother would have anything serious to hide. He’d probably ignore me and label me as a freak like most New Yorkers do. What’s the worst that could happen?
-Oh my God.
-Yes?
-No not you, idiot.
-Aww.
-That’s not a bad idea.
-What’s not a bad idea?
-The ‘I know’ thing. That’s not a bad idea at all. I have yet to see a person actually do that.
-Oh! Tee hee, thanks!
-I’m gonna do it.
-Do what?
-It! I’m gonna do ‘it’!
-‘It’ wasn’t part of my pronoun story.
-No Ray! I mean, I’m gonna do that prank idea you just had.
-You are? Awesome bro.
We get up from the ground and watch random people walk by. I find it interesting to see that people in New York always wear black, especially leather, jackets. Don’t these people know it’s dangerous to walk across the street in dark clothing during the late afternoon? They could get hurt. I scan the crowd until I see a guy in a business suit walking by with an angry look on his face. I knew he’d be the one to fool.
-Okay Ray, I’ll be right back. I’m gonna mess with that guy who just walked passed us.
-Alrighty then! Go get em!
I walk up behind the guy as he crosses the street. I touch his shoulder and lean in close to his ear.
-Hey you. ‘I know. I know. And I told everyone.’
He turns his head really fast and I catch a look of shock on his face. I run away, trying to hold my laughter. This guy is gonna be thinking about this moment for the rest of the day!
The next morning I wake up to take a jog in Central Park. It’s such a beautiful morning. The birds are singing! The numerous foods stands smell of burning “Nuts 4 Nuts.” All and all it’s starting to be a pretty good day! I take my jog past a dog trainer when suddenly a man jumps out of the bushes and puts me in a head lock!
-What do you know?
-Ack! You’re choking me!
-I said, WHAT DO YOU KNOW?!
What the hell? Who is this guy? He’s holding me so tight I can hardly breathe.
-Please…..sir…….I don’t know what you mean.
-Oh yes you do! You most definitely DO know what I mean.
-No……(cough) I don’t know.
-Oh I know that you know!
With that I doze off into a deep sleep.
-Quickly men. We must destroy those barbaric No’s. For the good of the Yes empire!
-Behold, the Question with his army of No’s are approaching.
-What shall we do sire?
-What shall we do? I’ll tell you what we shall do. We shall give them hell! CHARGE!
My kidnapper sprays water on my face and I quickly wake up from my crazy dream. I cough so much it’s not even funny. I look around me to see I’m in someone’s basement and that I’m tied up to a chair! What’s worse, I see that my kidnapper is that guy in the business suit whom I picked on.
-It’s you! Why are you doing this?!
-Tell me what you know.
-What? I don’t know anything!
-**** it boy, don’t toy with me! Tell me what you know!
-I don’t know anything!
-Like hell you don’t know anything. Now I’m not kidding. Tell me what you know!
-Listen man, this is all a misunderstanding. I really don’t know.
-What do you know!?
-I don’t know!
The guy takes out a license with the letters F.B.I. on it and a picture of his face right next to it.
-Listen kid, I’m not one to be toyed with. You will tell me what you know.
-But I don’t know anything! It was a joke!
-You can’t fool me. I’ve been trained to deal with crooks like you. You will tell me what you know, or you will suffer the consequences.
-Look, I don’t know! What do you want from me?
He slaps me really hard across the face with the back of his hand. I am seeing stars as my cheek burns.
-Tell me what you know!
-Aaaaow! Are you insane! I don’t know anything!
He slaps me again, this time on my other cheek with the palm of his hand.
-Don’t play games with me! Tell me what you know!
-Aaaaaaaaowwwwaaah! I know nothing! I don’t know anything! I don’t know!
He slaps me with his back hand again.
-I’ve been following you and reading your movements ever since we crossed paths and you decided to open your mouth! Tell me what you know!
-What?! You’ve been following me!?
He slaps me with his palm again.
-I know what you eat.
He slaps me.
-I know where you live.
Slap.
-I know where you sleep! I’ve been watching you sleep. I find it fascinating.
-You watch me in my sleep!? What kind of a creep are you!?
He slaps me again, this time so hard the chair shakes.
-I’m the one who asks the questions around here! Tell me what you know!
-I don’t know anything! I don’t know what to tell you!
He slaps me three times. A good, slap, slap, slap.
-What do you know!?
-Would you please stop slapping me!? I……don’t……know!
He grabs me by my shirt and presses his nose on my own, making me really uncomfortable.
-Listen you. I’m asking you if you know anything. It’s simple. You either give me a yes or a no as an answer. There is no in between. There is no maybe. There is no I don’t know. YES or NO!
My head feels so dizzy that I can’t think straight and I’m definitely not too proud of my answer.
-Yes…..no…..maybe…..I don’t know……could you repeat the question……. You’re not the boss of me now! You’re not the boss of me now!
He slaps me so hard I fall with the chair on my back. Oh God, what was I thinking!
-You think this is a game!? You think you can play with me!?
-I’m sorry!
I break into tears. I just can’t take it anymore. I’m at my breaking point and I just don’t care what happens to me anymore.
-I’m sorry! It was a joke! My brother put me up to it! It was just a joke I swear it! I didn’t think anything of it!
-You do realize what you did was serious right?
-Yes!!!!
-I mean what were you thinking? What if the person you were messing with had a really bad day? What if the person has some issues? You don’t know them! You don’t know what kind of damage you can pull from playing tricks and lying to people! You wanna be a man, boy, and get out of here?
-Yes oh God yes! Please!
-Then go out there and think about what you did. You wanna be a man? Then you tell the truth boy. You tell the truth like a man. You feel guilty. Then you apologize, boy. You apologize like a man. No tricks. No playing coy. To yourself and to others be true.
He unties me from my chair. I get the feeling he knew I was joking all along. Can’t help but think this dude is crazy! But he’s right. Why are the crazy people always right?
-Get your *** outta here!
I take the walk back home through Central Park, literally back tracking through the path where I got kidnapped. I notice Ray jogging towards me with a surprised look on his face.
-Hey Alan, isn’t this a great day for a jog? What’s wrong? You look pretty out of it. And what happened to your face?
-Ray?
-Yeah?
-You do know that ‘I don’t know’ isn’t a pronoun right?
-Yeah but, isn’t ‘I’ a subject pronoun?
-Yes, yes it is.
~End
My name is Alan. Alan Sullivan. And today I am bored out of my mind. Here I am with my brother, Ray Sullivan, sitting on the sidewalk near Times Square.
-Ray. Hey Ray. RAY!
-What?! I was having the greatest dream ever!
-Oh really? What did this dream entail?
-I dreamed about something really similar to Underworld. Only instead of vampires and werewolves, it’s a war between the ‘yes’ and the ‘no’s.
-The yes and the no’s?
-The ‘yes’ and the ‘no’s. And and, a hybrid of both yes and no is created, a monster known only as, ‘maybe’.
-Fascinating.
-No wait. There’s more. The villain of the epic war is the ‘Question’, with his evil sidekick, ‘I don’t know’. Oh oh and there’s two comic relief characters called ‘na uh’ and ‘ya huh’.
-Na uh and ya huh?
-Na uh and ya huh.
-You’re insane Ray.
-No I’m a genius. If I were to make it to a movie, it’d be called: “Pronoun.”
You have to give it to my brother Ray. You may think he’s weird, but he’s simply ahead of his time. And maybe ahead of your grandchildren’s time too, unfortunately. Now as we talk about our daily irrelevancies Ray comes across one of his most clever ideas.
-Alan! I have a most clever idea.
-So long as it does not involve anything illegal this time, tell me.
-What if, you go up to some random yet sketchy person in the middle of the street and just say ‘I know. I know. And I told everyone.’ And then walk away. You think that’d ruin that person’s day as he wonders what you know?
Normally when Ray has a crazy idea, I just listen to him, humor him, and then outright ignore him by changing the subject. But then it hits me. What Ray is saying isn’t all that bad of an idea for a joke. I mean I’m bored enough, and I highly doubt that anyone I randomly bother would have anything serious to hide. He’d probably ignore me and label me as a freak like most New Yorkers do. What’s the worst that could happen?
-Oh my God.
-Yes?
-No not you, idiot.
-Aww.
-That’s not a bad idea.
-What’s not a bad idea?
-The ‘I know’ thing. That’s not a bad idea at all. I have yet to see a person actually do that.
-Oh! Tee hee, thanks!
-I’m gonna do it.
-Do what?
-It! I’m gonna do ‘it’!
-‘It’ wasn’t part of my pronoun story.
-No Ray! I mean, I’m gonna do that prank idea you just had.
-You are? Awesome bro.
We get up from the ground and watch random people walk by. I find it interesting to see that people in New York always wear black, especially leather, jackets. Don’t these people know it’s dangerous to walk across the street in dark clothing during the late afternoon? They could get hurt. I scan the crowd until I see a guy in a business suit walking by with an angry look on his face. I knew he’d be the one to fool.
-Okay Ray, I’ll be right back. I’m gonna mess with that guy who just walked passed us.
-Alrighty then! Go get em!
I walk up behind the guy as he crosses the street. I touch his shoulder and lean in close to his ear.
-Hey you. ‘I know. I know. And I told everyone.’
He turns his head really fast and I catch a look of shock on his face. I run away, trying to hold my laughter. This guy is gonna be thinking about this moment for the rest of the day!
The next morning I wake up to take a jog in Central Park. It’s such a beautiful morning. The birds are singing! The numerous foods stands smell of burning “Nuts 4 Nuts.” All and all it’s starting to be a pretty good day! I take my jog past a dog trainer when suddenly a man jumps out of the bushes and puts me in a head lock!
-What do you know?
-Ack! You’re choking me!
-I said, WHAT DO YOU KNOW?!
What the hell? Who is this guy? He’s holding me so tight I can hardly breathe.
-Please…..sir…….I don’t know what you mean.
-Oh yes you do! You most definitely DO know what I mean.
-No……(cough) I don’t know.
-Oh I know that you know!
With that I doze off into a deep sleep.
-Quickly men. We must destroy those barbaric No’s. For the good of the Yes empire!
-Behold, the Question with his army of No’s are approaching.
-What shall we do sire?
-What shall we do? I’ll tell you what we shall do. We shall give them hell! CHARGE!
My kidnapper sprays water on my face and I quickly wake up from my crazy dream. I cough so much it’s not even funny. I look around me to see I’m in someone’s basement and that I’m tied up to a chair! What’s worse, I see that my kidnapper is that guy in the business suit whom I picked on.
-It’s you! Why are you doing this?!
-Tell me what you know.
-What? I don’t know anything!
-**** it boy, don’t toy with me! Tell me what you know!
-I don’t know anything!
-Like hell you don’t know anything. Now I’m not kidding. Tell me what you know!
-Listen man, this is all a misunderstanding. I really don’t know.
-What do you know!?
-I don’t know!
The guy takes out a license with the letters F.B.I. on it and a picture of his face right next to it.
-Listen kid, I’m not one to be toyed with. You will tell me what you know.
-But I don’t know anything! It was a joke!
-You can’t fool me. I’ve been trained to deal with crooks like you. You will tell me what you know, or you will suffer the consequences.
-Look, I don’t know! What do you want from me?
He slaps me really hard across the face with the back of his hand. I am seeing stars as my cheek burns.
-Tell me what you know!
-Aaaaow! Are you insane! I don’t know anything!
He slaps me again, this time on my other cheek with the palm of his hand.
-Don’t play games with me! Tell me what you know!
-Aaaaaaaaowwwwaaah! I know nothing! I don’t know anything! I don’t know!
He slaps me with his back hand again.
-I’ve been following you and reading your movements ever since we crossed paths and you decided to open your mouth! Tell me what you know!
-What?! You’ve been following me!?
He slaps me with his palm again.
-I know what you eat.
He slaps me.
-I know where you live.
Slap.
-I know where you sleep! I’ve been watching you sleep. I find it fascinating.
-You watch me in my sleep!? What kind of a creep are you!?
He slaps me again, this time so hard the chair shakes.
-I’m the one who asks the questions around here! Tell me what you know!
-I don’t know anything! I don’t know what to tell you!
He slaps me three times. A good, slap, slap, slap.
-What do you know!?
-Would you please stop slapping me!? I……don’t……know!
He grabs me by my shirt and presses his nose on my own, making me really uncomfortable.
-Listen you. I’m asking you if you know anything. It’s simple. You either give me a yes or a no as an answer. There is no in between. There is no maybe. There is no I don’t know. YES or NO!
My head feels so dizzy that I can’t think straight and I’m definitely not too proud of my answer.
-Yes…..no…..maybe…..I don’t know……could you repeat the question……. You’re not the boss of me now! You’re not the boss of me now!
He slaps me so hard I fall with the chair on my back. Oh God, what was I thinking!
-You think this is a game!? You think you can play with me!?
-I’m sorry!
I break into tears. I just can’t take it anymore. I’m at my breaking point and I just don’t care what happens to me anymore.
-I’m sorry! It was a joke! My brother put me up to it! It was just a joke I swear it! I didn’t think anything of it!
-You do realize what you did was serious right?
-Yes!!!!
-I mean what were you thinking? What if the person you were messing with had a really bad day? What if the person has some issues? You don’t know them! You don’t know what kind of damage you can pull from playing tricks and lying to people! You wanna be a man, boy, and get out of here?
-Yes oh God yes! Please!
-Then go out there and think about what you did. You wanna be a man? Then you tell the truth boy. You tell the truth like a man. You feel guilty. Then you apologize, boy. You apologize like a man. No tricks. No playing coy. To yourself and to others be true.
He unties me from my chair. I get the feeling he knew I was joking all along. Can’t help but think this dude is crazy! But he’s right. Why are the crazy people always right?
-Get your *** outta here!
I take the walk back home through Central Park, literally back tracking through the path where I got kidnapped. I notice Ray jogging towards me with a surprised look on his face.
-Hey Alan, isn’t this a great day for a jog? What’s wrong? You look pretty out of it. And what happened to your face?
-Ray?
-Yeah?
-You do know that ‘I don’t know’ isn’t a pronoun right?
-Yeah but, isn’t ‘I’ a subject pronoun?
-Yes, yes it is.
~End