Secrets of Life [Mr.Talk's Thread Response]

[Akebo]

I want to show you how it's done old school.

Secrets of Life

A heart cries out in the distant darkness, pleading with the souls of the wild
For some freedom to possess in a world of shifting colors
The cry is unheeded, instead the wild laughs, moreso for pain.

To pain...

To pain...

And the heart bleeds freely, withdrawing into the recesses of lust and fury.
And waits for the ever-waning soul to bring it out.
A breathe that fills empty lungs would suffice--
If only this world of blood-drenched air would go away...
Then maybe some refuge might be made.
Some passage that would connect two stars...
Connecting our hearts as one, one being to be held.
And the heaves of our bosoms are not unheard by us.
The wild may kill, but our hearts will save us.
Even in the depths of life where the fear and carnage still remains
That flecks the soul with pain and grief.

Still we would live, together, hearts beating as one.
Across the fears and trepidations that everyone and everything presents us.
To the spot where we can take a rest and be in peace.
The key isn't runing, but where we go--into the places were the shadows meet,
Where light can still be seen.
And our hearts beat as one.
We are alive for now, but only because we have each other. ​

 

[Mr.Talk]

OK Really that's a nice poem and all but it's not me. I don't write like that and I don't even think that poem even meets the concept my poem had (if you were trying to meet the concept)

Though it is nice for you to try to teach me how to write you can't. Poetry doesn't have to be taught just inspired. The way I write and the words you read is all of what I'm about. I'm not a formal writer so I write like I do (kinda like a child does really) because many enjoy reading it and it's what's in my head. If it wasn't for that I wouldn't have even posted my poems on this board in the first place.

I hope you understand and again, nice poem keep doing it your way because it's you and I'll do it my way because it's me

 

[Akebo]

When istarted it it was supposed to be. I got out of hand. XD. I do it often. And you misinterpeted what I did. I didn't think your poem was very...professional. It WAS meant as a lesson, but I totally got out of hand with it.

 

[demoncaterpie]

Nice poem. A little corny, but otherwise good. Some of your lines were pure gold.

I can tell you wrote this from the heart, but it's still pretty simple. I'm sure your girlfriend (or boyfriend, since I don't know your gender ) would love it.

Keep working at it. You've got a talent for this.

And Mr. Talk, write how you want. We can't force you to write a certain way. We can only give you suggestions, it's your choice whether you use them or not.

 

[Akebo]

Heh. Girlfriend. I...uh...can do better that this, but it was 12 in the morning and I was feeling a little tired. I...I should show some of my other poems. One of them ALMOST got me sent to a therapist.

 

[demoncaterpie]

Cool, I'd like to see them.

 

[tmw_redcell]

One of them ALMOST got me sent to a therapist.

That's the best kind of poem. Well, almost.

 

[Akebo]

That's the best kind of poem. Well, almost.

Well, yeah, I guess. I'll start making topics.