SneaselSawashiro
Smash Apprentice
I've been having this video from Matthew Hussey sink into me: https://youtu.be/vwHGeZ5JrQA
Despite that video being about love life, it appealed to me greatly.
Cause after dropping Smash for a VERY long amount of time for real, and recently getting perma-banned from League of Legends...
I realized from several of my experiences, I've been fighting (lol) for a fatal poison: validation.
I wanted to be validated like a majority of other players like me, but of course, I wasn't allowing myself to be validated on improvement. I wanted to be validated on results.
While it's easier imho to not care about winrate in For Glory, I found it hard to shake off the stereotypical blanket-statement bronze elo stigma from many an MMO/MOBA that makes use of the elo system, as flawed as it may seem.
I wanted to at least make a good standing for myself in competitive games I had access to, though of course, the road to that form of validation made me IMPATIENT.
I wasn't willing to take time trying to have things happen to me overtime; and thus, via the link, I didn't let it sink in.
I was so impatient to not be part of that bottom of the pit, and I wanted out ASAP because of how much others would scorn me for me.
Society always looks down on people who are weak, because they provide nothing. And they always seem to forget that they themselves used to be born weak too.
In other words, even if noobs are the starting point for everyone, everyone ironically always dismisses noobs.
TV Trope: Suffers Newbies Poorly
"Forum users who are icy towards newbies at first until they're no longer newbies."
And of course, it's no doubt my fault for having a persecutory delusion, and not ignoring those stigmas and trying to combat against the said form of society for my own sanity and self-improvement.
On my devianart, I came up with a long-in-making dream fighting game that doesn't exist, known as Variation Force: Fighters World.
It was as M.U.G.E.N. as a crossover fighter as you could get, only it had so much of this and that from several other 2D tactical fixed-floor fighting games that made my concepts for it very intricate.
This was all despite me not having the ability to really be able to actually play fighting games well; the best I can do is play it on a controller, or on keyboard which was my best control scheme (a lot of Melty Blood and Touhou Hisoutensoku). Another fighting game I can play well after hours of just playing it was J-Stars Victory Vs. + on my Vita.
I've thought very carefully about balance changes to all of the characters in it, and I've considered many common techniques and terms in competitive play such as frame advantage, mixup, wakeup offense, and so forth.
I've had a massive mind that could conceive a VERY intricate dream fighting game despite me having a low level of ability for the genre.....though is this even okay for me?
But I have been long aware of this stupid crap of mine, all because it took this damn long for it to sink into my head. And that I have a bit of a pretty nasty persecution complex.
For Glory is still supposedly a place where people waste time being a pseudo-Pikachuakuma tho, since no doubt there's a lot of leading points and stereotypes that warped it like so.
And it's my fault for not having stuff sink in properly on time, all because I didn't want to be the "tactical dude who knows **** but can't walk the walk".
Part of me fighting for that validation was also to make my words mean something, cause it's easy to dismiss the balance points of a low-level player as complete nonsense (like claiming the lowest-level of players can't even breathe).
Just like Matthew Hussey said, the pressure got to me. Part of that said pressure was time and devotion to things like my life and college.
I'm at least glad that I've stopped playing Smash and possibly League for my own sanity to say this, but part of me still regrets that I have no brawn to show for my brain, even IF it's okay to not be good at competitive games.
I still might play League on a smurf (soon to name transfer) when the preseason starts.
But anyway, that's all I have to say for now.
P.S. I've also recently made my own wikia for Fighters World due to the amount of space I would take up on my deviantart. It's all WIP like with a ton if not all of my dA stuff though due to me being a disorganized fool.
Despite that video being about love life, it appealed to me greatly.
Cause after dropping Smash for a VERY long amount of time for real, and recently getting perma-banned from League of Legends...
I realized from several of my experiences, I've been fighting (lol) for a fatal poison: validation.
I wanted to be validated like a majority of other players like me, but of course, I wasn't allowing myself to be validated on improvement. I wanted to be validated on results.
While it's easier imho to not care about winrate in For Glory, I found it hard to shake off the stereotypical blanket-statement bronze elo stigma from many an MMO/MOBA that makes use of the elo system, as flawed as it may seem.
I wanted to at least make a good standing for myself in competitive games I had access to, though of course, the road to that form of validation made me IMPATIENT.
I wasn't willing to take time trying to have things happen to me overtime; and thus, via the link, I didn't let it sink in.
I was so impatient to not be part of that bottom of the pit, and I wanted out ASAP because of how much others would scorn me for me.
Society always looks down on people who are weak, because they provide nothing. And they always seem to forget that they themselves used to be born weak too.
In other words, even if noobs are the starting point for everyone, everyone ironically always dismisses noobs.
TV Trope: Suffers Newbies Poorly
"Forum users who are icy towards newbies at first until they're no longer newbies."
And of course, it's no doubt my fault for having a persecutory delusion, and not ignoring those stigmas and trying to combat against the said form of society for my own sanity and self-improvement.
On my devianart, I came up with a long-in-making dream fighting game that doesn't exist, known as Variation Force: Fighters World.
It was as M.U.G.E.N. as a crossover fighter as you could get, only it had so much of this and that from several other 2D tactical fixed-floor fighting games that made my concepts for it very intricate.
This was all despite me not having the ability to really be able to actually play fighting games well; the best I can do is play it on a controller, or on keyboard which was my best control scheme (a lot of Melty Blood and Touhou Hisoutensoku). Another fighting game I can play well after hours of just playing it was J-Stars Victory Vs. + on my Vita.
I've thought very carefully about balance changes to all of the characters in it, and I've considered many common techniques and terms in competitive play such as frame advantage, mixup, wakeup offense, and so forth.
I've had a massive mind that could conceive a VERY intricate dream fighting game despite me having a low level of ability for the genre.....though is this even okay for me?
But I have been long aware of this stupid crap of mine, all because it took this damn long for it to sink into my head. And that I have a bit of a pretty nasty persecution complex.
For Glory is still supposedly a place where people waste time being a pseudo-Pikachuakuma tho, since no doubt there's a lot of leading points and stereotypes that warped it like so.
And it's my fault for not having stuff sink in properly on time, all because I didn't want to be the "tactical dude who knows **** but can't walk the walk".
Part of me fighting for that validation was also to make my words mean something, cause it's easy to dismiss the balance points of a low-level player as complete nonsense (like claiming the lowest-level of players can't even breathe).
Just like Matthew Hussey said, the pressure got to me. Part of that said pressure was time and devotion to things like my life and college.
I'm at least glad that I've stopped playing Smash and possibly League for my own sanity to say this, but part of me still regrets that I have no brawn to show for my brain, even IF it's okay to not be good at competitive games.
I still might play League on a smurf (soon to name transfer) when the preseason starts.
But anyway, that's all I have to say for now.
P.S. I've also recently made my own wikia for Fighters World due to the amount of space I would take up on my deviantart. It's all WIP like with a ton if not all of my dA stuff though due to me being a disorganized fool.
Last edited: