That was a great read, Youko.
I went to college far away from home for a year, and like you, I have an aversion to partying. I did go to a few though, because even though I didn't smoke or drink, I thought it would be good to move myself outside of my comfort home and see what would happen if I tried something that I usually don't (I mean going to parties, not drinking or smoking).
Did anything come out of it? No, but sometimes that isn't the point. You give an alternate lifestyle a chance, and if it doesn't work out, at least you know you were right in the first place.
I never got laid at VCU (the school I went to for a year), I was never the big man on campus, or even on my floor, for that matter. People knew me and liked having me around, but when they were looking for a good time, no one ever said, "Let's go get Jamil! He knows where we can go!" That wasn't the type of person I was, and everyone knew it.
People did come to my room though, because I did offer them something. For most of my friends, we would stay up all night playing Smash or Mario Kart (much to the chagrin of my roommate); they'd come and we'd watch SportsCenter and talk about how much each others teams sucked; they'd come to my room to watch porn because I had "the good stuff"; or they'd just come in and we'd talk about stuff. I never had more than one or two people in my room at any given time, but I was glad because that's not me in the first place.
The thing about college is that it allows you to go crazy, and everyone does. With no parents around, everyone gets into something moreso than they should. For some it's sex, for some it's drugs and alcohol. For me, it was games. I blew my first check from my first job on a PS2 and several games I ended up trading in later. That's alot more innocent than having sex with 20 different girls, but the point still remains: I had money and the freedom to do what I wanted with it, and I couldn't handle that freedom.
I think that people expect too much out of their college experience. We've been raised in a media environment where we think that we should be these savvy, cynical 20-year-olds that have it all figured out, bang as many chicks as we want and have a ridiculously awesome car and bachelor pad. And when we get into reality, which is NOTHING like that, we feel let down. That happened to me, and it sounds like it may be happening to you.
If Smashboards is where you feel safe, then by all means hang out here. Sooner or later though, you'll be ready to go back out into the world. As long as you have reasonable and rational expectations for what you're going to find, you'll be fine. Remember, plans are nice, but they're seldom followed. If you'd asked me after I graduated from high school where I'd be in six years (holy crap, it's been almost SIX YEARS since I graduated), the last place I would have said would be married with a son and still in college.
But that's exactly where I am, and I couldn't be happier. I got kicked out of VCU because I didn't have the money to return. I lived at home for a year, and now I live in a crappy neighborhood. I was a virgin until I was 20, and I got my first girlfriend pregnant within four months of us beginning to date. Sounds like a crappy deal, right? Maybe, but it's the best thing that could have happened to me. I couldn't imagine my life without my wife, my son, and all of the wonderful people I've met since I left VCU. Just think, all of this came out of what I considered a disaster at the time, getting kicked out of college.
tl;dr: Relax and enjoy yourself. When you're ready to get back out there, you'll be stronger and more confident than you ever were. The cyber-world and the real world aren't two different entities as people treat them, and that philosophy is a hold-over from the old way of doing things, as you said about your uncle. We talk about things that happened online in real life, and vice-versa. Cyber-life is just an extension of our social lives, and the lessons learned here or "irl" can be passed back and forth to your benefit. And don't worry about things, just go with the flow. That doesn't mean take your hands off the wheel, but you'll enjoy yourself far more if you enjoy the scenery as well.
