Okay, I wrote this a while ago.

[Jam Stunna]

Link to original post: [drupal=2970]Okay, I wrote this a while ago.[/drupal]



It's a set of notes for a Fire Emblem fan game I was working on. I was re-reading it today, and although I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it, it's been floating in internet obscurity for too long. I think what I wrote is okay; not great, but good enough to share.

Comment/criticise as always. I might salvage some ideas and characters from this for other projects.

http://www.freewebs.com/rags101/index.htm

 

[Indigo Jeans]

I really, really like this. The Avatar is what I like the most. It has that quirky originality that I love. I also find the similarity between the celestial power imbued in the Sword of the Hero and the actual Sword of Stars. The fact that there are, or at least there may still be, dragons in the story instintly hooked me as well.

 

[Jam Stunna]

Yeah, I have a total nerd-crush on dragons.

I was thinking about this story on the way home, and I think I may continue with it, with some pretty significant changes. We'll see.

 

[The_Guide]

Reading through the character section right now, I definitely like this. Better than anything I've seen on the net thus far, if you actually made it into a game.

I like the pun with Magna/Carta. Though it seems perfect to leave them as a pair, you could use another pegasi, for a triangle attack. Then again, you have other triple unit combos, so you could use those. Triangle attacks usually involve Pegasus Riders, though.

I'll post more as I read through it. Please don't let this story slip away from you, its really quite good.

 

[Jam Stunna]

Yeah, I changed the triangle attack from the pegasi just to try something different. Although, in Fire Emblem 6 there was a triangle attack with the three Armor Knights I believe.

 

[The_Guide]

Wasn't there a second tri. attack with the pegasi, tho? Idk, I haven't played through the entire game yet.

About your characters... they're good. Most of them have pretty unique personality traits. Yet, most of them seem to have their background dictated by their class. As in, they've been living the military life for quite some time before the story begins (Ian is the exception to this. I might have missed a couple others). In war, thats not usually how things turn out. Regular folk are conscripted, have to steal/fight to make ends meet, have their livlihoods destroyed, etc. (see Brom/Nephenee from FE 9). Anyone could be sucked up into the fighting, given the circumstances. Also, if you neglect to include these kinds of characters, you won't really have a good opportunity to flesh out the cultures of your countries. If you throw in a few commoner characters that aren't mercs to begin with, you'll have that much more to work with in developing your world.

Also, Kyon= Joshua. They're both obsessed with coin flipping, and let chance determine their course in life. You should try to individualize him more; simply saying that he's cynical doesn't really make him much different.

 

[Jam Stunna]

Yeah, there are going to be alot of changes to this if I continue it. Like I said, when I conceived it was as a Fire Emblem fan game, and it's pretty heavily influenced by FE 6-8. But as time has passed, I'm taking it in a different direction: same basic story, but all the explicit references and similarities to Fire Emblem (that is, the ones I included specifically to tie it into that franchise) will be changed.