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Number One! A Pokemon Fan-Fic

Javon89

Smash Ace
Joined
Aug 14, 2009
Messages
666
Location
Brampton, Ontario, Canada
Well this is something I put together, so enjoy!


Number One!
Prologue


In the land of Hoenn where the land was lush and green with dark forests, relaxing beaches, rough and unforgiving seas, and boiling volcanoes. In a town called Pacifidlog Town, lived a boy who spent his days relaxing in a shack floating on the calm, green waters, secluded from the rest of the town. He was 14 years old, dark-skinned, with a distinctive black, spiky hairdo, very short only 5'3 inches tall, an only child, but most of all was an excellent trainer. He traveled with his father around Hoenn nearly two years ago, having great adventures, learning how to become a great trainer, having intense gym battles, and befriending other Pokemon. His father tried hard to mold his son into a champion, despite his lazy and flamboyant nature, he eventually came through for his father, earned his 8 badges and was ready to enter the Evergrande City League Championship, despite many hard fought battles, he only came in 323rd out of 866. He thought that it was a great effort but his father strongly disagreed. The two had a big argument and decided to part ways, this broke his heart and the bond between him and his father. He and his dad talk from time to time and he always seems to be busy with a battle or finding a rare or legendary Pokemon, there was no way to tell when he was coming to Pacifidlog to visit.....


Life for the boy in Pacifidlog was very nice, there was no crime, it was a very clean place thanks to the water, the locals always respected to Pokemon's habits below so the refrain from using any vehicles, but most of all they were very friendly. What he loved the most about it was watching the sunset settle on the horizon, it always made him think about the good things in life and how great Pacifidlog was. Pacifidlog was a town suspended on water, they used wood to travel from house to house and the houses themselves were made out of wood. The boy usually spent his day swimming, teaching the younger children how to battle and watching T.V. in his cramped shack. He earns his money by battling in the weekly Battle Royale and places very high to win the prize money to feed and clothe himself, fix his shack after storms, and buy appliances to make his life easier. As soon as nightfall came he watched T.V. until the waves of the calm waters rocked himself to sleep.


Next morning like every morning, his Pikachu Clock rung at exactly 8:00 am, he tossed and turned over to his wooden table to push the sleep button.
“ Mornin' already?” he groaned.
He got up of his bed and slumped over to the bathroom sink to brush his teeth. He turned on the tap and water started to flow into the sink, he then gripped his brush and started to scrub. After he was finished, he grabbed his comb and hair gel and styled his hair in it's usual fashion. Gently he stroked, being careful not to pull out his hair, it formed into perfectly sickle shaped spikes. He reached over for his T-shirt, vest and swimming trunks and put them on.
“Alright today looks like a day for swimming” he said glancing down at his outfit. He stepped over to his small kitchen and reached for his cupboard, he reached for two pieces of bread and saw how empty it was becoming.
“Oh well, I'll get to buying food later.” he sighed. He popped the pieces of bread into the toaster and turned on his kettle already filled with water to brew some of this favourite tea; Mint.


After a couple a couple of minutes both of his food were ready. He quickly ate and drank his food and set out for the door.
“Dang, I forgot Breaker!” he exclaimed. He ran into his room and opened an old wooden chest. It had all of his badges, six Pokeballs, and a picture of him and his father. He reached out for the blue Pokeball and threw the Pokeball up and caught it with great reflexes, he admired how such a small thing can contain such a Pokemon, he then walked back outside. The outside of his shack was nothing but the ocean and the town on the horizon.
“Wake up Breaker, it's time to go to town!” he shouted. He quickly pressed the grey button in the center and tossed the Pokeball up. Airborne, the Pokeball opened up and a great blue figure emerged from it! Breaker the Swampert somersaulted and landed into the ocean creating a huge splash. Breaker was the boy's first Pokemon and best friend, he was a male and was raised by the boy for a tiny Mudkip. Breaker was almost exactly like the boy in terms of personality the both didn't like to train very hard, and didn't take anything other than battling too serious. The boy tried to shield himself but it was no use, he was soaking wet from head to toe. With a giant grin on his face, the boy jumped into the ocean and balled up into a cannonball and plunged in the ocean. Seconds he emerged from the water and climbed on Breaker's back.
“Breaker you know the way, let's go.” he said.
Breaker understood and swam to Pacifidlog Town, full speed ahead.
The sea air was rushing past them, the feeling was exhilarating, even though they have done this almost everyday for two years, it always felt like the first time. It was a smooth ride and Breaker was a swift swimmer, it would be only a matter of time until they reached to their destination.


They had finally gotten to Pacifidlog Town. The boy let go of this companion and climbed up on one of the wooden pathways. He spotted the grocery store from afar.
“Breaker wait right here, OK?” he scolded. Breaker responded with a loud growl.
The boy quickly ran to the store so he wouldn't keep Breaker waitin- CRASH!
He had accidentally ran into something but what? He open his eyes and saw a beautiful brown-haired girl, her hazel eyes sparkled in the sunlight, he had never seen her before, he quickly staggered over to the newcomer and reached out for her hand.
“Err..... sorry about that I wasn't watching where I was going, my name is Javon.”




If you have a character idea please PM their name, some about them, their team, looks and personality. I will give full credit.
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Ryusuta

Smash Master
Joined
Apr 4, 2005
Messages
3,959
Location
Washington
3DS FC
5000-3249-3643
I have to give a word of caution that fan fiction is often hard for a lot of people to receive. Seeing someone manipulate characters outside of the story canon can be a little difficult on people unless it's an erotic comic featuring Sonic and a female version of Tails NO, STARTING NEW THOUGHT.

Having said that, you wrote a very coherent and focused story so far. I would suggest working on making your introduction a little more compelling, and give the reader a sense that something really noteworthy was going to happen, worth their time.

I know it's Pokemon and you only have so much to work with (another reason fan fiction might not be the best way to go), but I'm certain tha you could work to convey a stronger sense that something big is on the horizon.

One other common pitfall of fan fiction: don't just assume everyone is going to get on board with the characters and relationships. If I didn't know about the story of Pokemon, I'd be wondering "Okay, who or what is this Swampert thing, and what sort of relationship does it have with the protagonist?"

I'd say that just a little clean-up can make this seem interesting. I look forward to hearing more from you in the future.
 

DIVYANI92

Smash Rookie
Joined
Mar 4, 2010
Messages
2
It was made worse by the Pixar commercials in the middle of coverage. I get it. Pixar has a movie coming out about vikings and dragons… but after the third or forth time a commentator cut to the Pixar vision of generic Olympic event in viking times? I had enough of that. The second week had less of that, and instead involved promotion of another movie that the anchors didn’t plug as much.

They decided before the games who the athletes that we would care about were. They had video packages made. We got to see them again and again when ever they could think of a relevant reason to show those pre-packaged clips instead of actual sports. When unknown sports heroes arose, no one seemed to know how to cover those.

There were few options to watch events live on their website, except for the few that were being run live on their sister networks.

There were large moments of advertising Whistler and British Columbia… which would have been awesome, had they not felt like everything being aired by others trying to capitalize on the Olympic feeling.

Then we had moments of sexism, where commentators insisted on calling female athletes girls. We had moments of putting down and insulting Olympians because the commentators didn’t see their sport as a real sport. We had moments of homophobic behavior where commentators mocked Johnny Weir for what they considered his effeminate behavior. We had moments where blatant racism wasn’t called out with the Russians and their Aboriginal dance but still happily highlighting their lovely and interesting costumes.
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eagle14

Smash Rookie
Joined
Mar 30, 2010
Messages
3
“I can’t believe it!” James said he Jesse and Meowth were already back in their normal clothes feasting on some of the food that they had stolen from a market. They had also found a cave to stay in as the weather took a turn for the worst. “Not only did we finally capture that Pikachu and friends but we were also able to capture the twerps this time to.”

“Looks like there’s not going to be any last minute escapes here,” Jesse replied as they looked back to were their captured enemies were. The pokemon were all in their own respective cages that had some sort of protection against their attacks. This, of course didn’t stop Buizel or Pikachu who were tossing out more attacks than a confused, metronoming Celfairy. Ash and Misty on the other hand were stuck in an oversized playpen. They were both in sleepers with mittens and booties covering their hands and feet. The mittens were also padded making them trying to grab anything with less than two hands near impossible. Their mouths had also been covered thanks to a large pacifier stuck in their mouths and strapped around to the back of their heads.
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