No one cares about the man in a bad rlationship

[Professor Pumpkaboo]

So I was browsing around reddit looking at the sad relationship stories that all the girls seem to have 24/7 and I noticed something. when there is a story if a depressed boyfriend, the BF is always a total prick and the girl is the saint.

Now my question is, do people really care about th depressed boyfriend at all and do they believe the girls story right away just because we are seen as weak? in all honesty, I think the male needs just as much help as the female does, especially if he is depressed

 

[Xivii]

 

[Professor Pumpkaboo]

I feel ashamed of being a woman when we try to make men look like "nothing could happen to him" its a shame and it really makes me cry.. Men need the attention as well, not just us. It really hurts also thanks for that video but I know the comments are going to be stupid as all hell.

 

[Paquito]

So I was browsing around reddit looking at the sad relationship stories that all the girls seem to have 24/7 and I noticed something. when there is a story if a depressed boyfriend, the BF is always a total prick and the girl is the saint.

You were on a reddit sub-forum where girls were complaining about their relationship? If that's the case, the discrepancy you noticed was probably due to the fact that men aren't posting in that sub-forum where women complain about their relationships.

 

[no1butmenotu]

Yesterday me and my brother were watching the Maury show. What he has pointed out is that just about all the time the man gets booed on the show as soon as he makes his appearance, especially after talking about why he isn't the father of the child, as well as his negative perspective on his girlfriend (I guess ex girlfriend at this point). Then once Maury reveals that he isn't the father, the audience suddenly does a 180 turn and starts cheering the dude and giving him high fives. Personally, if I was in that situation I probably would have shaken my head in shame at the audience members.

 

[Paquito]

Personally, if I was in that situation I probably would have shaken my head in shame at the audience members.

Sounds like you've never had a close call with a pregnancy. It's literally impossible not to dance.

 

[Claire Diviner]

Perhaps if we can get a comparison of sad relationship stories from the perspective of the male and look at how people react to those, maybe we can draw a better conclusion and why.

 

[Sucumbio]

My co worker has just become a dad. Everything seemed good, until the mother went home to her parents where they decided he is unfit to provide and so have since barred him from visitation, essentially holding his child hostage.

Once he completes a DNA test proving he is the father he will be legally entitled to 50/50 custody under Mississippi state law. Until then the mother has 100 percent custody. Why did she choose this course of action? We may never know, but for starters her family is unusually tight knit, even for down south standards.

 

[AfungusAmongus]

I can only imagine what your co-worker is going through right now. While I'm glad that he lives in a state with a presumption of shared custody, be aware that Mississippi follows the Tender Years Doctrine discriminating against men in the custody of young children:

We are aware that the “tender years” doctrine has undergone a weakening process in many jurisdictions as well as in this state. Cheek v. Ricker, supra. To abandon the rule, however, would discard a factor worthy of weight in determining the best interest of a child in a particular case.

Note that the biggest US feminist organization, the National Organization for Women, officially opposes efforts to make shared custody the default presumption, partly on the grounds that men are child abusers.

 

[adumbrodeus]

That's a misrepresentation, the position of NOW is that it should be the primary caregiver that receives sole custody, the possibility of divorce being based on abuse is one of the reasons yes, but their primary assertion is a disruption of child's environment and conflict between the divorcees.

Furthermore it's important to note that feminism generally opposes the presumption of female primary caregivership, hence why in Europe they generally support expanded paternal leave, so this isn't so much a case of "oh, it happens to fall in our advantage", no it's "yes it falls in our advantage but we're actively fighting to end that advantage".

If you're wondering why, the presumption and reality of female primary caregivership is a MAJOR contributor to the wave gap, so there's your selfish reason.

 

[AfungusAmongus]

Legislation providing for mandated joint custody ignores the issues of domestic abuse, including child abuse. Mothers are too often held more accountable by Child Protective Services for child abuse perpetrated by the father, than the fathers themselves are. Mothers often accused of Parental Alienation Syndrome, discourages women from protecting their children since raising the issue of child abuse leads to retaliatory accusations of alienating the children, and frequently, to an award of custody to the abusive father.

Even if it was true that mothers who rescue their kids from abuse are often unfairly blamed for alienating the children, why would a presumption of sole custody help this situation? Anytime there's evidence of abuse obviously this would override the presumption of joint custody; and anytime there's no evidence of abuse, sole custody will go to the abuser half the time, right?

 

[adumbrodeus]

Even if it was true that mothers who rescue their kids from abuse are often unfairly blamed for alienating the children, why would a presumption of sole custody help this situation? Anytime there's evidence of abuse obviously this would override the presumption of joint custody; and anytime there's no evidence of abuse, sole custody will go to the abuser half the time, right?

It's presumption of sole custody for primary caregiver which is slightly different then simply sole custody period.

But you're right that this assumes that the primary caregiver would be the parent who would take the kids and leave in cases of abuse and I'm not sure that's born out by the evidence.

Regardless, the point is one can hardly call presumptive primary caregiver custody "opposing joint custody because men are abusers", rather in the language it frames it's that men CAN be abusers and that in general the spectre of abusive relationships and other damaging post divorce factors can hang over joint custody.

 

[AfungusAmongus]

...PARTLY because men are abusers. Their sob story about mothers betrayed by the system has no purpose except to paint men as abusive and therefore unfit for child custody. Since men are (currently) less likely to be primary caregivers, it follows that primary caretakers deserve sole custody. This tactic is both insulting and nonsensical, since most child abusers are women.

 

[Sucumbio]

Update/clarification in the baby situation, by close knit it turns out the girl's dad was not only in the room during the delivery but actually participated by holding one of her legs the baby daddy holding the other. O.o

-_-

Yeah...

 

[EZdelFresco]

Society has developed a perception that the woman is always, and I mean ALWAYS the victim. One of many reasons why I hated being around when my mom decided to watch Lifetime.

ex: If a man cheats: he's a dog, he's evil, etc

If a woman cheats: She just wasn't getting the fulfillment she needed out of the relationship. Her man works too much so she was lonely, etc.

I can't get on instagram or facebook without seeing some stomach turning post from girls that I know personally speaking about relationship issues and how they deserve this and that because they're just so awesome to the man. I know them outside of social media and know that their personalities suck, but they get the popular vote and people to side with them just because.

 

[Synnett]

Here's a story that happened to a friend.

The guy was in a relationship with a girl, a very narcissistic one. Well, one day, he was watching a tv show with her, and she said something about the characters in the show, and he disagreed. The girl threw a cup at him, smashing his eye. He got upset and called the police. HE got arrested, and the girl decided to sue him for whatever reason. The whole thing ended two years later when the girl finally told the truth.

So yep, very unfair and unequal.

 

[Nino Rybicki]

I'd say women are treated as victims, especially with relationship issues. Our society teaches that men have to earn sympathy, but women are handed sympathy on a silver platter. People often assume that mothers always make better parents than fathers, which sadly isn't the case. Some kids actually end up dead because of this. It's fine for a kid to be raised by the father (and possibly a stepmother) instead of the mother. I think custody cases should consider multiple factors - traditional gender roles are NOT one of them. It IS possible for a woman to make false claims of infidelity, domestic violence, child abuse, or even ****.

 

[Legitimate Ted]

And then there's the bit where a woman can sue a man (or a woman, for that matter) for performing CPR correctly.
I'm just glad I'm not the only one to think about these things.