Hylian Nights

[Sandy]

Hylian Nights​

Oh I come from a land, from a faraway place​

Where the Stalchildren and Redeads roam​

Where nights last only minutes​

and the land is immense​

It's hellish, but hey, it's home!​

Where the Poes fly in fright​

And the structures great in height​

Be beaten and gored, you might!​

Come on down, drop on by​

Hop a bean plant and fly​

into another Hylian night!​

Hylian nights,​

unlike Hylian days!​

Where the Hero was scarred,​

as he fought hard, against the dark.​

Hylian nights,​

unlike Hylian days!​

Home of legends,​

and many sins.​

 

[Akebo]

Is the "much more to come" part of the poem?

Good thing: Interesting topic. Good for a fooling around poem.

Constructive Critisism: If you were just having fun, it's good. if you were meaning to be serious it's not. My biggest pet peeve is doing what you did in the 5th line with "Hey, it's home!" Once more, I really hate doing that. to each his own, I suppose. Fix your punctuation, lengthen the lines and ADD EMOTION!! It didn't have a rhyme scheme. It's okay if you don't, but it fluctuated.

Good thing: Held rhyme scheme at end.

Overall score: 4/10. It's lacking...