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Smash Rookie
Link to original post: [drupal=1635]How to become a SMASH PROFESSIONAL![/drupal]
As it is said from many top smashers!
1- Purchase a copy, or steal one from your buddy after a day of rough sex (I picked the former, you could go with the latter... he did sneak a few sips of your white zinfindel while you weren't looking, so you said)
2- Start playing
3- Ask the buddy from step one if he is in fact interested in hosting large group orgies. These are known as smashfests. Tournaments involve sex toys, smashfests do not.
4- Begin speaking in a dialect that will automatically have people assuming you're homosexual, regardless of how many men you've taken advantage of so far today.
5- Also introduce estrogen to your system to reduce unwanted testosterone- high testosterone players are near non-existant at the top, don't burden yourself with it either.
6- Slowly make your way into the so-called "pros". (Sidenote- top non-pros can be far more homosexual, but with lesser testosterone and/or purpose in life.)
7- openly declare your love for smash, and for smashers.
8- By now, if you've read this far, you either were just curious, or are very much intrigued, which was not the aim of the author. That being said, congrats, you're closer to smash probrohood.
And now awaiting flame content from angered closet fairies.
As it is said from many top smashers!
1- Purchase a copy, or steal one from your buddy after a day of rough sex (I picked the former, you could go with the latter... he did sneak a few sips of your white zinfindel while you weren't looking, so you said)
2- Start playing
3- Ask the buddy from step one if he is in fact interested in hosting large group orgies. These are known as smashfests. Tournaments involve sex toys, smashfests do not.
4- Begin speaking in a dialect that will automatically have people assuming you're homosexual, regardless of how many men you've taken advantage of so far today.
5- Also introduce estrogen to your system to reduce unwanted testosterone- high testosterone players are near non-existant at the top, don't burden yourself with it either.
6- Slowly make your way into the so-called "pros". (Sidenote- top non-pros can be far more homosexual, but with lesser testosterone and/or purpose in life.)
7- openly declare your love for smash, and for smashers.
8- By now, if you've read this far, you either were just curious, or are very much intrigued, which was not the aim of the author. That being said, congrats, you're closer to smash probrohood.
And now awaiting flame content from angered closet fairies.