Hey guys check out this song I wrote.

[Zook]

I was going to put this in CM, but they never respond to my threads there. So I'll just post it here.

Sandwich Shop
One day at the sandwich shop
I ordered my sandwich and sat down with a plop
And when my order came I became quite flustered
‘Cause they forgot the mustard. So I put on
Mustard, mustard, mustard mustard mustard!
Mustard, mustard, mustard mustard mustard!
So then I sat down and took a big bite
A really big bite that filled my mouth with delight!
And then with a soda and a bucket in hand
Walked by my friend Dan. So I said
Hey Dan, hey Dan, hey Dan hey Dan hey Dan!
Hey Dan, hey Dan, hey Dan hey Dan hey Dan!
So Dan turned around and gave me the finger
A piece of his KFC bucket of chicken fingers
And then when I waved good-bye and returned to my food
This boy walked by with a toy Pikachu. And it said
“Pika, pika, pika pika pika!
Pika, pika, pika pika pika!”
Flying in the sky was a pimpin’ air plane
Cruisin’ through the clouds with a hoe named Mary Jane
And then while taking a sip of my soda
I remembered that guy from Star Wars, Yoda, who said,
“Luke use, Luke use, Luke use Luke use Luke use
The force, the force, the force the force the force”
At another table was a person I don’t know
An unfamiliar face who I’ll just call Joe
Joe was chowing down on a big Italian sub
A big Italian sub and a bubbly soda-blub!
Little did Joe know, enjoying his snack,
That the New England Mafia was about to have him whacked! And their guns went
Bang, bang, bang, bang bang bang
Bang, bang, bang, bang bang bang
Sitting in my booth at the sandwich shop
Somewhere in Kansas there is a corn crop
And after I finished my ham and cheese
I left a small tip ‘cause they never said ‘Please.’ So I left a
Dollar, dollar, dollar dollar dollar
Dollar, dollar, dollar dollar dollar
And then I left.
_________

What do you think?

 

[Platypus]

I can't quite set this to music.

Also, how did you put in a backwards apostrophe?

 

[Pit 42]

Umm...'finger' and 'fingers' don't exactly work together. An... attempt, I guess.

 

[pikachun00b7]

8/10. Not that funny and repeating the same words is kinda annoying. I wouldv'e gave it a 7/10 but I laughed wat the "Pika, Pika, Pika" part.

 

[AHotGreasedUpJigglyPuff 4 Luvin']

10/10 I could definitely see making beautiful aryan babies to that.

 

[KaoS]

50 cent already did this song. Except it was called Candy Shop.

 

[shadowstriker2005]

http://www.meetjustin.com/Blog/uploaded_images/whatevprah1gg-715440.jpg

10 char limit.

 

[super_nintendo]

New smash theme song? Possibly?