help me

[NinjaFoxX]

Dear Tech Support:
Last year I upgraded from girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up alot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed into other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as poker night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0 Please help!

Thanks,
A Troubled user.

 

[PDawgy]

funny

 

[Grunt]

Ctrl-alt-del
shut down the process.

 

[marthanoob]

Go open source. Learn teh hax.

 

[NinjaFoxX]

a reply to my letter:

Dear Troubled user,

Unfortunately we at LifeTech cannot take responsibility for all programs running on your system. Are you sure your system is not running malicious software? The most common variant is mothainlaw, a dangerous tyrant of a program that will ceaselessly delete your emails and will attempt to shut down all critical systems.

If Wife 1.0 is still prohibiting you from carrying out your day to day system duties then I can offer a patch for 12 monthly payments at $12.99. Install it and you will have Wife 1.01. There are no immediate beneficial effects but trust us, really, what else can you do?

I do not recommend uninstalling. If any little piece of Wife 1.0 is left in your system then the financial cost to fix would be astronomical.

Yours,
Technical Support AT LifeTech.

too bad it sucked:

Dear Tech Support.
The advice you gave me has resulted in Wife 1.0 getting worse, not only have my other activities and applications been shut off completely. C:\Sex does not appear to be running anymore. This situation is getting worse. Wife 1.0 Seems to be getting worse.

Thanks,
A troubled user.

 

[Mr.Bazerkus]

Win
Oh God this funny this has made my day.
Love all the Computer references

 

[LumpyCPU...]

man...
that sounds all bad. lol
do you know how hard it is to uninstall wife 1.0?!

just be sure you don't want wife 1.0 before you do anything about it.
because it's a real ***** to try to reinstall after you've uninstalled it once before.

 

[NinjaFoxX]

useful mail is useful

BULK EMAIL

To: Valued customer
From: Ron Shifty, StabCo ltd.

Tired of Wife 1.0? Wish there was something you could do about it? Now there is! New from StabCo, it's Knife 2.0! With Knife 2.0, annoying Spouseware is eliminated completely!

After downloading our user-friendly program, simply install Knife 2.0 into Wife 1.0 and wait until all processes shut down completely. Then simply move Wife 1.0 to the Recycle Bin and relax, because your troubles are over! And it can be yours for only $29.99!

Ron Shifty, StabCo ltd.

 

[LumpyCPU...]

useful mail is useful

LMAO TOOOOOO GOOOOOD
hahahaha
wow.
you're good at this game.

like... you have the highest score at marriage/cpu analogies.

 

[Kinzer]

Nice, I can' wait to read the E-mail about how the police Virus Scanners are going to handle this!

 

[LumpyCPU...]

Nice, I can' wait to read the E-mail about how the police Virus Scanners are going to handle this!

HAHAHAHA goodjob.

can you forward us the emails from prison?

 

[NinjaFoxX]

Wife 1.01 installed Police Custody 2.2, so i tried to use Threaten 5.1 and it seems to be doing fine as long as you have Pimp Hand 1.1

 

[Kinzer]

But won't Wife 1.01 just be able to blow your brains out with Constant Nagging over 900.0?

 

[LumpyCPU...]

i heard PimpHand 1.1 has a chance of altering the icon for Wife 1.0. they need to fix that bug in the next update.

 

[crewster]

Jam the machanism .

 

[Kinzer]

Stick that floppy disk in there real good, just make sure you remember to scan it so it doesn't give the CPU a virus *cough*.

 

[NinjaFoxX]

i tried using C:/R4pe but it got blocked by Police Custody 2.2

 

[Frown]

Stick that floppy disk in there real good, just make sure you remember to scan it so it doesn't give the CPU a virus *cough*.

i tried using C:/R4pe but it got blocked by Police Custody 2.2

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

The only solution: Turn off the power. End it all.

 

[Azua]

Remember guys, violence against women is in right now.

 

[Mic_128]

*Slaps Azua*

 

[Azua]

I will skin you and wear your hide as a cape.