Writing this post stems from a desperation to be heard, if not by a court of law, then by a court of public opinion. As a preliminary, I want to stand as a witness in the divine court of the Eternal Judge and proclaim that it's my understanding that one of the most mind-numbing mysteries for those of us who don't like HappyHouseSpider is trying to understand people who do. He may have the right to have more impact on Earth's biological, geological, and chemical systems during our lifetime and our children's than all preceding human generations had together. He may have the right to marginalize me based on my gender, race, or religion. But HappyHouseSpider crosses the line when he uses his bully pulpit to extend his fifteen minutes of fame to fifteen months.
HappyHouseSpider has flirted with resistentialism and some of the more exotic forms of scapegoatism. It may be more correct, however, to say that I've found that most deluded party animals display complete and utter nescience of his programs of Gleichschaltung. To help educate them, let me say a little about how every time HappyHouseSpider gets caught trying to demonstrate an outright hostility to law enforcement, he promises he'll never do so again. Subsequently, his disciples always jump in and explain that he really shouldn't be blamed even if he does because, as they contend, the sun rises just for him.
I recently received some mail in which the writer stated, “People like HappyHouseSpider are beyond help.” I included that quote not because it is exceptional in any way but rather because it is typical of much of the mail I receive. I included it to show you that I'm not the only one who thinks that the simplicity and prejudice of HappyHouseSpider's worldview, that he is the one who will lead us to our great shining future, leads HappyHouseSpider to make me the target of a constant, consistent, systematic, sustained campaign of attacks. No, scratch that. Let me instead make the much stronger claim that HappyHouseSpider likes to argue that our elected officials should be available for purchase by special-interest groups. Admitting the apparent correctness of this slatternly argument, we may prove the contradictory of its conclusion by an unassailable argument of our own, which is called an elenchus. My elenchus begins with the observation that it's often hard to decipher HappyHouseSpider's unscrupulous comments. Obviously, he flees clarity whenever it involves unpleasant shouldering of responsibility, but I believe that in this case, whenever HappyHouseSpider attempts to waste everyone else's time, he looks around waiting for applause as if he's done something decent and moral rather than litigious and unmannerly.
For what it's worth, HappyHouseSpider would have you believe that you and I are morally inferior to ornery vagrants. I have already, for the present at least, sufficiently answered the climatic part of this proposition and have only to add that HappyHouseSpider likes to talk about how public opinion is a reliable indicator of what's true and what isn't. The words sound pretty until you read between the lines and see that HappyHouseSpider is secretly saying that he intends to reap a whirlwind of destroyed marriages, damaged children, and, quite possibly, a globe-wide expression of incurable sexually transmitted diseases. His cohorts argue that embracing a system of adventurism will make everything right with the world. These are the same pigheaded pestiferous-types who level filth and slime at everyone opposed to his projects. This is no coincidence; I want to thank HappyHouseSpider for his catch-phrases. They give me an excellent opportunity to illustrate just how malevolent HappyHouseSpider can be.
I'm not very conversant with HappyHouseSpider's background. To be quite frank, I don't care to be. I already know enough to state with confidence that if HappyHouseSpider's dastardly histrionics became more widespread, it would spell the ruination of this country. I will not quibble with HappyHouseSpider as to whether or not it is legitimate to have misgivings about fork-tongued headcases who marginalize the traditions and truths upon which our nation's greatness sits. Instead, I'll simply state that even HappyHouseSpider's horoscope says he's sordid and leave it at that.
I'm not a psychiatrist. Sometimes, though, I wish I were, so that I could better understand what makes people like HappyHouseSpider want to push the State towards greater influence, self-preservation, and totalitarianism and away from civic engagement, constituent choice, and independent thought. I can't follow his pretzel logic. I do, however, know that HappyHouseSpider's backers often reverse the normal process of interpretation. That is, they value the unsaid over the said, the obscure over the clear.
It doesn't take a genius to figure out that in a vain effort to exculpate himself, HappyHouseSpider has been proclaiming to the world that he has done no wrong. Rather, it was his attendants who have been toying with our opinions. I suppose the next thing he'll have us believe is that we should cast our lots with chauvinistic, beggarly maggots.
HappyHouseSpider's capilotades raise a number of brow-furrowing questions. I'm referring to questions such as, “Does HappyHouseSpider realize he's more imprudent than a rebarbative jobsworth?” It's questions like that that clearly get people thinking about how trying to keep HappyHouseSpider from plunging us into the dark abyss of annihilation is a sucker's game. No matter how hard we try to stop him, he'll always find some new way to create a ludibrious world of guilt and shame. I promise you, again and again and again, that I will never suppress our freedom. HappyHouseSpider, on the other hand, is so eager to do exactly that that he's already begun doctoring evidence and classification systems and making homicidal generalizations to support besotted, preconceived views. The reason I'm distinguishing my actions from his here is that on several occasions I have heard him state that he is a paragon of morality and wisdom. I am not able to rightly apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a comment. What I consider far more important though is that if we don't soon tell HappyHouseSpider to stop what he's doing, he will proceed with his pea-brained views, considerably emboldened by our lack of resistance. We will have tacitly given HappyHouseSpider our permission to do so.
My vision that some day, people everywhere will condemn HappyHouseSpider's hypocrisy is an inspiring dream. Unfortunately, reality always awakens me and reminds me that HappyHouseSpider makes it sound like sadism can quell the hatred and disorder in our society. The evidence against that concept is so overwhelming, even an eight-year-old child can recognize it. Even so, HappyHouseSpider is good at one thing, and that's keeping his ulterior motives secret. Only a few initiates in the inner sanctum of his gestapo know that HappyHouseSpider is planning to introduce disease, ignorance, squalor, idleness, and want into affluent neighborhoods. Even fewer of these initiates know that HappyHouseSpider used to maintain that a totalitarian dictatorship is the best form of government we could possibly have. When he realized that no one was falling for that claptrap, he quickly changed his tune to say that children don't need as much psychological attentiveness, protection, and obedience training as the treasured household pet. HappyHouseSpider is truly a picayunish liar, and shame on anyone who believes him.
In the Old Testament, the Book of Kings relates how the priests of Baal were slain for deceiving the people. I'm not suggesting that there be any contemporary parallel involving HappyHouseSpider, but to say that it's lickerish to improve the lot of humankind is illiterate nonsense and untrue to boot. The last time I told his mercenaries that I want to make technical preparations for the achievement of freedom and human independence they declared in response, “But diseases can be defeated not through standard medical research but through the creation of a new language, one that does not stigmatize certain groups and behaviors.” Of course, they didn't use exactly those words, but that's exactly what they meant. Okay, have you had enough of this post? Good. Let's end it by reiterating that HappyHouseSpider is a drooling, hydra-headed monster of force and terror.
