God-Awful Puns

[DraconicPsycho]

Come one, come all, to the most awful place on the planet! not, hell. not, nazi, germany. Give up? why, its the pun emporium of course! tell all of your awful jokes here! here, ill start.
*AHEM* How does a skeleton talk to his friends? on the Telebone!

 

[Prepare_Yourself]

Did you hear about the guy who ran through a screen door? He's fine now.

 

[ZafKiel]

I have a lot of Bayonetta Smash Puns I want to use, but I can't pick witch one to tell

 

[DraconicPsycho]

I have a lot of Bayonetta Smash Puns I want to use, but I can't pick witch one to tell

if you were to tell that to a skeleton...he would call you...a bone head!

 

[FamilyTeam]

On a scale of 0 to 10, I'd give you a 4.
4k you.
...
...Okay this one actually ain't so bad, you can burn someone really badly with it.

 

[Pierikeeby]

Why did the chocolate bar take a shower? Because he was sweety!

 

[Kneutronic]

PokéPuns it is.

 

[Galm]

Why was Gorbachev in the fast lane?
Because he was Russian.
Yeah he decided to stop Stalin for time;
He was Putin the pedal to the metal and covering some ground.

 

[PsychoIncarnate]

What's the pun?

I don't get it

 

[Kneutronic]

What's the pun?

I don't get it

Ever hear the song "Born to Run" by Bruce Springsteen?

 

[PsychoIncarnate]

Ever hear the song "Born to Run" by Bruce Springsteen?

Well, I have now

I'm not a fan

 

[Kneutronic]

Well, I have now

I'm not a fan

Yeah, I'm not too fond of it, either.

Anyway, that was the pun. The strip played off on some of the lyrics to the song.

 

[ELITEWarri0r115]

Two outcomes of this pun.
Why did the skeleton Love winter?

• He was chill to the bone
• He was a real numb skull

if you were to tell that to a skeleton...he would call you...a bone head!

Learn that from Ross and Barry? (Game Grumps)

 

[DraconicPsycho]

Two outcomes of this pun.
Why did the skeleton Love winter?

• He was chill to the bone
• He was a real numb skull

Learn that from Ross and Barry? (Game Grumps)

PSHHHH You think i got that from the steam train...i did

 

[Teran]

This thread is pretty much designed for @Mic_128

 

[Darkpit54]

Why did the hipster burn his mouth on his coffee?


Because he didn't wait for it to be cool.

 

[Darkpit54]

What do you call fake noodles?

Impasta!

 

[ELITEWarri0r115]

My friend is addicted to brake fluid. he says he can stop anytime.

 

[Jcsaenz1]

I once told a homeless lady that I was taking her home. At first she was really happy, but then she got disappointed when I took her box.

 

[Cool Trainer Ace]

So I asked my dad if I could pre-order Street Fighter V the other day. Want to know what he said?

"Shoryuken."

*Rimshot*

 

[Darkpit54]

Have you ever seen the Helen Keller movie?
Yeah, neither has she


Get it! Cuz she's blind and deaf

 

[Darkpit54]

Why did Waldo go to the Psychologist?
To find himself

 

[Goolloom]

PokéPuns it is.

Onix-ceptable

 

[Kneutronic]

Onix-ceptable

Spoiler

 

[jarbAin]

What would you call pit's fighter portrait after the pit player lost?
A rekt angel in a rectangle

 

[StaffofSmashing]

This humor is tomb much for me. It's so grave!

 

[Galm]

Did you hear that Little Mac ended up in the hospital?
He's having trouble with his recovery.

 

[PsychoIncarnate]

I had a customer at work, and old man named "Graves"

He lived on Rip ave.

True story

 

[Haze.]

Windmills, I'm a big fan.

 

[Darkpit54]

I'm always on time with my jokes.
I guess you could say I'm pretty
pun-ctual

 

[Click Klack]

Why did the skeleton go to the beach
To get a skele-tan.
Cue Megalovania.

 

[Darkpit54]

Why couldnt the skeleton five bad news?
He didn't have the heart

 

[Goolloom]

Windmills, I'm a big fan.

Jesus that took way too long for me to get that.

Why did the skeleton go to the bar alone?
Because he has no body to go with.

 

[PsychoIncarnate]

What was said of the skeleton who worked hard but never succeeded

He had backbone, but didn't have the nerve

 

[Prepare_Yourself]

Rename this thread "skeleton jokes"

 

[Darkpit54]

I was addicted to the hokey-pokey, but I turned myself around

 

[Cool Trainer Ace]

When William joined the army, he didn't quite like the phrase "Fire at will".

Also:

A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.

 

[DPKdebator]

Puns are one of those weird things I'm known for at school...

One time, someone asked me to write a book on puns. What should I call it? The book that's so much pun you can't stop reading it?
I swallowed a lot of dust yesterday! I hope I don't bite the dust!

 

[Cool Trainer Ace]

I'm reading this book on anti-gravity, and I can't put it down.

 

[Goolloom]

Trust your calculator, it's something you can count on