jugfingers
Smash Champion
As some of you may be aware of, in Canada there is an upcoming election and as usual the only parties running are composed of and are led by people who have approximately zero good ideas there is no cool canadian *****s like ron paul and the only candidate almost worth voting for Elizabeth May of the green party is not even included in the televised political debates, so I thought...hey, I'm a ****ing genius, what if I created a super ****ing cool political party to save the ****ing world with.
and so is spawned the gangster delicious party whose tentacles will soon reach down to the revolutionary tendencies of americans.
so as with every government, the canadian government spends alot of money on stupid ****, like ....a billion dollars for security for the g20 summit, 2 million of which went to building a fake lake.....and other stupid stuff like spending billions of dollars on fighter planes, hundreds of millions to repair federal buildings(I don't care about your ****ing federal buildings use it for a hospital or Im using the money to ****in eat with), the governor general of canada has a 50 million dollar budget and all he/she does is fly around the world having expensive dinners.
so I mean I got some useless spending to work with but not like the states where we could just scrap the defense budget and feed clothe and send everyone in the world through university.
but anyways here is my party platform
#1 defense budget ****ing gone: all of the defense budget will be converted into funding for fruit cultivation and drying. If you want to perpetuate war and violence half way across the world it is now a voluntary fund, the canadian military under the gangster delicious party runs by donation alone, none of the federal budget is to be allocated to defense.
blueberries will be given special emphasis with blueberry greenhouses and air drying technology in every city, due to their scientifically verified medical use, and also because bears live only off of blueberries in certain areas when in season....swag. apricots will also be focused on due to beta carotene and lycopene content (shout outs to the hunza valley) It is the belief of the gangster delicious party that every citizen should have access to dried fruit year round.
walnut cultivation is also indicated;.
#2 every highschool will have a mandatory gardening and bee keeping class and every highschool will have a greenhouse/garden and apiary.
why: because bees are cool as ****.
elementary schools: growing plants in every classroom is mandatory and each student is responisble for growing at least one plant year round.
all high schools and elementary schools will be renovated so that there windows ****ing everywhere to allow enough light to grow plants with and also because sunlight is good for humans.
oh yea all drugs are legalized and taxed.
making drugs illegal does not inhibit anyone from doing drugs, if you think otherwise you have never done drugs before, you can get any drug you want in any highschool anywhere. All criminilations does is create gangs whose ONLY source of income is selling drugs, (unless your a big gang..casinos hotels etc etc)
um yea thats pretty much all I can think of right now.
Rest of the budget would be for hospitals and roads and stuff I guess, there should be more windows and plants in hospitals as well.
please feel free to hate on my gangster delicious party and post your own political platform.
and so is spawned the gangster delicious party whose tentacles will soon reach down to the revolutionary tendencies of americans.
so as with every government, the canadian government spends alot of money on stupid ****, like ....a billion dollars for security for the g20 summit, 2 million of which went to building a fake lake.....and other stupid stuff like spending billions of dollars on fighter planes, hundreds of millions to repair federal buildings(I don't care about your ****ing federal buildings use it for a hospital or Im using the money to ****in eat with), the governor general of canada has a 50 million dollar budget and all he/she does is fly around the world having expensive dinners.
so I mean I got some useless spending to work with but not like the states where we could just scrap the defense budget and feed clothe and send everyone in the world through university.
but anyways here is my party platform
#1 defense budget ****ing gone: all of the defense budget will be converted into funding for fruit cultivation and drying. If you want to perpetuate war and violence half way across the world it is now a voluntary fund, the canadian military under the gangster delicious party runs by donation alone, none of the federal budget is to be allocated to defense.
blueberries will be given special emphasis with blueberry greenhouses and air drying technology in every city, due to their scientifically verified medical use, and also because bears live only off of blueberries in certain areas when in season....swag. apricots will also be focused on due to beta carotene and lycopene content (shout outs to the hunza valley) It is the belief of the gangster delicious party that every citizen should have access to dried fruit year round.
walnut cultivation is also indicated;.
#2 every highschool will have a mandatory gardening and bee keeping class and every highschool will have a greenhouse/garden and apiary.
why: because bees are cool as ****.
elementary schools: growing plants in every classroom is mandatory and each student is responisble for growing at least one plant year round.
all high schools and elementary schools will be renovated so that there windows ****ing everywhere to allow enough light to grow plants with and also because sunlight is good for humans.
oh yea all drugs are legalized and taxed.
making drugs illegal does not inhibit anyone from doing drugs, if you think otherwise you have never done drugs before, you can get any drug you want in any highschool anywhere. All criminilations does is create gangs whose ONLY source of income is selling drugs, (unless your a big gang..casinos hotels etc etc)
um yea thats pretty much all I can think of right now.
Rest of the budget would be for hospitals and roads and stuff I guess, there should be more windows and plants in hospitals as well.
please feel free to hate on my gangster delicious party and post your own political platform.
