Link to original post: [drupal=1099]Divorce: Effects on Me[/drupal]
In efforts to make the Blogging Board have actual blogs...I'll tell about my experiances with divorce. [Not using this as a bleeding heart thread, It's cool if you try to say encouraging stuff but I'm more of explaining how it felt like]
It was back almost a year ago, about a week after Brawl was released that I was informed of a decision my mother was making. She told me she wanted to get divorced from my father, who she "didn't love anymore". Now, my father isn't a bad man, I was a bit intimidated by him when I was younger but about 2 years ago I began to talk to him more and explore how far I could actually misbehave before it bothered him. At the moment my mother told me, I felt sort of dazed. The room kind of started to spin, and immediatly my mind began trying to make sense of it all. I was asked to give her one reason why I didn't want this to happen, and I replied with something along the lines that it would be too hard for our family to cope with, and that I didn't want our family to be all seperated with my mother living in an apartment. It seemed to me that she just asked me to make me feel better, as she responded by saying she had already made her mind up.
The first thing I did was walk upstairs and into my bedroom. I don't remember if I cried or just sat there, but the emotional pain was bad. So many things could happen, I was unusually quiet for about a month. I noticed that I was a lot more irritated, and often got mad at the smallest things. My mother asked me several times if something was wrong, and while in my mind I was thinking, "What do you think is bothering me?!" I just replied with a defeated "Nothing".
It was April, and I was in our gameroom with my brothers playing Brawl. It was around 10 PM, and my mother broke the news to my father. What resulted was about 3 hours of arguing and crying from my mother, and my younger brothers looking at me like I was supposed to help them. Eventually I announced I was going to bed, and my brothers followed me upstairs, each to thier individual rooms. I know for sure I cried myself to sleep that night, the words of my angry father and faces of my brothers taunting me. I have nothing else to discribe it with except that I felt like nothing. I wished some disease would strike me so I could die, and not deal with the pain any longer. When we woke up the next morning, I went downstairs to see how things were going. My parents called me and my brothers to a sort of conferance, where they told us "Everything will be OK.", and "Whatever happens is going to be for the best of us." I knew it was complete BS, they were just putting happy thoughts in our heads to momentarily ease the pain. I continued to be irritable and sad most of the time, the only thing distracting me was Brawl and school. I could go through all the little details of the ordeal, but there are so many that it would take forever to type. The most noticable thing that I absolutely hated was that our father was trying to spend more time with us. For a week straight we would go out fishing and doing whatever we wanted, and then went camping for two weeks in the summer. Now, I got tired of that show pretty fast. The next time he asked me what I wanted to do, I pretty much said that I didn't want to do anything. He got mad and all saying that I would regret not spending time with him when I was older, blahblahblah. There are a lot of 'blah' moments when you just don't feel like doing anything.
"Family" dinners were hardly that, as we sat divided, my parents not talking to eachother except to ask for the salt or whatever. There were several instances when my father would complain about the whole thing, saying things like "We can work this out". My mother would always disagree, she can never agree with anything he says anymore. There were many days like the first day, were I would cry myself to sleep and wake up miserable. The day of the official divorce came, and I was very mad about the whole deal and a complete rebel to whatever my mother said. We moved, which was a pain in itself...leaving the home where I played all those years, leaving all our close friends and nieghbors. The act of physically loading up all my memories into boxes was much more emotional, and the new house was the exact opposite to what I was used to. A suburb, in the middle of the city, with neighbors close to you. I had always lived and enjoyed living in the country, where it is actually pleasant...all this, destroyed.
The whole experiance was very hard, and very emotional for me. I have noticed a great change in me, with my new set of beliefs of the human race and goals in my life that I wish to accomplish. I see relationships as dangerous things, even pointless. If anyone ever reads this, and they are going through a divorce, heed my advice.
-Have something in your life to cling on, whether it's religion or Pokemon.
-Things usually turn out okay, just different, and you have to adjust.
-Don't hate your parents, they have thier own reasons for the thing and it is hard to understand why they do the things they do.
-If you have siblings, try to be of some support to them, children especially can be confused and mad about it.
-look back at your experiances and learn from them so you don't make the same mistake.
I followed only 2 of those...guess which ones they were.
Thank you for reading this if you did so, that action in itself makes me feel like someone can sorta understand what it feels like. Thanks again guys.
In efforts to make the Blogging Board have actual blogs...I'll tell about my experiances with divorce. [Not using this as a bleeding heart thread, It's cool if you try to say encouraging stuff but I'm more of explaining how it felt like]
It was back almost a year ago, about a week after Brawl was released that I was informed of a decision my mother was making. She told me she wanted to get divorced from my father, who she "didn't love anymore". Now, my father isn't a bad man, I was a bit intimidated by him when I was younger but about 2 years ago I began to talk to him more and explore how far I could actually misbehave before it bothered him. At the moment my mother told me, I felt sort of dazed. The room kind of started to spin, and immediatly my mind began trying to make sense of it all. I was asked to give her one reason why I didn't want this to happen, and I replied with something along the lines that it would be too hard for our family to cope with, and that I didn't want our family to be all seperated with my mother living in an apartment. It seemed to me that she just asked me to make me feel better, as she responded by saying she had already made her mind up.
The first thing I did was walk upstairs and into my bedroom. I don't remember if I cried or just sat there, but the emotional pain was bad. So many things could happen, I was unusually quiet for about a month. I noticed that I was a lot more irritated, and often got mad at the smallest things. My mother asked me several times if something was wrong, and while in my mind I was thinking, "What do you think is bothering me?!" I just replied with a defeated "Nothing".
It was April, and I was in our gameroom with my brothers playing Brawl. It was around 10 PM, and my mother broke the news to my father. What resulted was about 3 hours of arguing and crying from my mother, and my younger brothers looking at me like I was supposed to help them. Eventually I announced I was going to bed, and my brothers followed me upstairs, each to thier individual rooms. I know for sure I cried myself to sleep that night, the words of my angry father and faces of my brothers taunting me. I have nothing else to discribe it with except that I felt like nothing. I wished some disease would strike me so I could die, and not deal with the pain any longer. When we woke up the next morning, I went downstairs to see how things were going. My parents called me and my brothers to a sort of conferance, where they told us "Everything will be OK.", and "Whatever happens is going to be for the best of us." I knew it was complete BS, they were just putting happy thoughts in our heads to momentarily ease the pain. I continued to be irritable and sad most of the time, the only thing distracting me was Brawl and school. I could go through all the little details of the ordeal, but there are so many that it would take forever to type. The most noticable thing that I absolutely hated was that our father was trying to spend more time with us. For a week straight we would go out fishing and doing whatever we wanted, and then went camping for two weeks in the summer. Now, I got tired of that show pretty fast. The next time he asked me what I wanted to do, I pretty much said that I didn't want to do anything. He got mad and all saying that I would regret not spending time with him when I was older, blahblahblah. There are a lot of 'blah' moments when you just don't feel like doing anything.
"Family" dinners were hardly that, as we sat divided, my parents not talking to eachother except to ask for the salt or whatever. There were several instances when my father would complain about the whole thing, saying things like "We can work this out". My mother would always disagree, she can never agree with anything he says anymore. There were many days like the first day, were I would cry myself to sleep and wake up miserable. The day of the official divorce came, and I was very mad about the whole deal and a complete rebel to whatever my mother said. We moved, which was a pain in itself...leaving the home where I played all those years, leaving all our close friends and nieghbors. The act of physically loading up all my memories into boxes was much more emotional, and the new house was the exact opposite to what I was used to. A suburb, in the middle of the city, with neighbors close to you. I had always lived and enjoyed living in the country, where it is actually pleasant...all this, destroyed.
The whole experiance was very hard, and very emotional for me. I have noticed a great change in me, with my new set of beliefs of the human race and goals in my life that I wish to accomplish. I see relationships as dangerous things, even pointless. If anyone ever reads this, and they are going through a divorce, heed my advice.
-Have something in your life to cling on, whether it's religion or Pokemon.
-Things usually turn out okay, just different, and you have to adjust.
-Don't hate your parents, they have thier own reasons for the thing and it is hard to understand why they do the things they do.
-If you have siblings, try to be of some support to them, children especially can be confused and mad about it.
-look back at your experiances and learn from them so you don't make the same mistake.
I followed only 2 of those...guess which ones they were.
Thank you for reading this if you did so, that action in itself makes me feel like someone can sorta understand what it feels like. Thanks again guys.