DI Religion

[\\Killer//]

Noobs from the internet, Citizens of Kaillera, Smashers from all over the world, lend me your ears! I’ve come to deliver a message a message of a god! The very god that created a way where you can be launched or move around in the game we love today. At first it would either be considers to be “cheap” to use such a method and should be banned from outside the internet forever while others thought it as simply another controller and didn’t see such power as non-threatening.

BUT I’M HERE TO TELL YOU THAT IT IS A GIFT FROM THE HEAVENS ABOVE. A PLACE WHERE KEYPADS AND MOUSES ARE MORE THAN JUST AN ACCESSORY!!! THEY LIVE AND MOVE! A WORLD WERE THAT CODE IS THE LANGUAGE OF THAT WORLD. YOU SHALL MEET SALVATION IN THIS WORLD MY FRIENDS!

THERE IS NO GOD OR ALLAH, JUST “DI”

An now a fellow keyboardist has asked me to post this in the name of Directional influence.


Ezekieller 3.5:

Let me tell you something you already know. Dreamland ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place, and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as captain Falcon. But it ain’t about how hard you combo. It’s about how hard you can get combo'd and keep DI'ing forward; how much you can take and keep teleporting forward. That’s how winning is done! Now, if you know what you’re worth, then go out and get what you’re worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain’t where you wanna be because of pika, or kirby, or anybody. Campers do that and that ain’t you. You’re better than that!
The word of the Keyboard, amen!

And this is only the beginning my brothers , we shall wipe other religions from the face of the earth and make everyone follow the great DI.

However.....I've also received this.

Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk,
I'm a controllerman: no time to talk. (get it?)
Dreamland loud and joystick warm, teleported around
Since I watched porn.
And now it's all right. it's ok.
**** DI look the other way.
Squall can try to understand
The shinecancel delay on man.

Whether you're on keyboard or whether on controller,
You're stayin alive, stayin alive.
Feel the combo breakin and joysticks shakin,
And were stayin alive, stayin alive.

Ah, ha, ha, ha, keyboard DI, keyboard DI.
Ah, ha, ha, ha, **** DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii....

Now stand your ground and choose which side you shall be. But keep in mind, that the very choice might be your last as keyboardists/ Keyboardism are the rulers, Controllerist/Controllerism are the enemy!!

Convert to Keyboardism!!!!

Let’s all sit down and pray to our keyboards!!!!

In the name of DI!!!!!

 

[The Star King]

Truly, keyboardists are an oppressed minority. I mean, you have bigots threatening hate crimes such as this:

if anyone ever plays me in a tournament using a keyboard, i will personally see to smashing it to bits i will also consider punching you in the face

Don't think this is just one exceptional case, either. Likes were received from fellow culprits "TANK64", "meowmeowrainbowkitty", and "JimmyJoe". Not to mention my signature.

We are in the Civil Rights movement of our time. History does repeat itself, after all. We are in yet another period of flux, where the public's stance on the issue as a whole evolves from one of intolerance to one of justice.

Prejudice is still incredibly prevalent in this community. Fortunately, polls on the proposed Civil Rights Act of 2013, which revealed overall support for the motion, indicate a great opportunity for our cause. But our task is not over. We must continue to strive for further understanding - and acceptance - of our ideals. Take arms, my brethren, regardless of your controller choice! Fight for your inalienable right to play Smash 64 freely!

 

[tacos]

Or you know... just convert to tacoism and join the LUV!

 

[bloodpeach]

When Sakurai, the Creator, envisioned smashboards, he did not intend for the way non standard controllers would CORRUPT his fine game. KB is an affront to the Creator and should be punished accordingly.

 

[The Star King]

I am happy to join with you today in what will go down in history as the greatest demonstration for freedom in the history of our community.

One decade ago, a great American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, released the first stable version of kaillera. This momentous program came as a great beacon of hope to millions of fake Smashers, who had been seared in the flames of lack of controller choice. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their broken joysticks. But ten years later, the keyboardist community is not free. Ten years later, the life of the keyboardist community is still sadly crippled by the manacle of segregation and the chains of discrimination.

Ten years later, the keyboardist community lives on a lonely island of obscurity in the midst of a vast ocean of console tournaments. Ten years later, the keyboardist community is still languishing in the corners of Smash society and finds himself an exile in his own land. So we have come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.

In a sense we have come to our Community's Forum to cash a check. When the architects of our great Netplay community wrote the magnificent code of kaillera and the AQZ input plugin, they were signing a promissory note to which every Smasher was to fall heir.

This note was a promise that all Smashers, yes, keyboardists as well as controllerists, would be guaranteed to the inalienable rights of life, liberty, and the pursuit of cash w.

It is obvious today that the Smash community has defaulted on this promissory note insofar as its users of keyboards are concerned. Instead of honoring this sacred obligation, the Smash community has given its keyboardists a bad check, a check that has come back marked "insufficient funds."

But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this community. So we have come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and security of justice.

We have also come to his hallowed spot to remind the Smash community of the fierce urgency of Now. This is not time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism.

Now is the time to make real the promise of free controller choice.

Now it the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of controller justice.

Now it the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of controllerist injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood.

Now is the time to make justice a reality to all of Smash 64's players.

It would be fatal for the community to overlook the urgency of the moment and to underestimate the determination of its keyboard players. This sweltering summer of the keyboard players' legitimate discontent will not pass until there is an invigorating autumn of freedom and equality. 2013 is not an end but a beginning. Those who hope that the keyboardists needed to blow off steam and will now be content will have a rude awakening if the nation returns to business as usual.

There will be neither rest nor tranquility in Smash until the keyboard player is granted his console tournament rights. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our community until the bright day of justice emerges.

We can never be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy with the fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodging in the Smashfests of houses and the venues of tournaments.

We cannot be satisfied as long as the keyboard players's basic mobility is from online success to console obscurity.

We can never be satisfied as long as our newcomers are stripped of their selfhood and robbed of their dignity by tournament threads stating "controllers only."

We cannot be satisfied as long as a keyboard player at Apex cannot play and a keyboard player at Zenith believes he has nothing for which to play.

No, we are not satisfied and we will not be satisfied until justice rolls down like waters and righteousness like a mighty stream.

I am not unmindful that some of you have come here out of your trials and tribulations. Some of you have come from areas where your quest for freedom left you battered by storms of persecutions and staggered by the winds of console Smashers' brutality.

You have been the veterans of creative suffering. Continue to work with the faith that unearned suffering is redemptive.

Go back to Galaxy, go back to West Wonderland, go back to Godweapon, go back to the Skype Group, go back to the Facebook group, go back to the servers and p2p games of our latest kaillera, knowing that somehow this situation can and will be changed.

Let us not wallow in the valley of despair. I say to you, my friends, we have the difficulties of today and tomorrow.

I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the Smasher's dream.

I have a dream that one day this community will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed. We hold these truths to be self-evident that all Smashers are created equal.

I have a dream that one day out in the venues of Apex, the keyboard players and the controller users will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the Social Thread, a thread sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that Smashers will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the choice of their controller, but by the contents of their playstyle.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day down in console tournaments, with its vicious controllerists, with its console Smashers having their lips dripping with the words of interpostion and nullification; that one day right down in the console tournaments, keyboard pros and keyboard noobs will be able to join hands with controller pros and controller noobs as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be engulfed, every hill shall be exalted and every mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plains and the crooked places will be made straight and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together.

This is our hope. This is the faith that I will go back to the kaillera with. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope.

With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our community into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood.

With this faith we will be able to combo together, to edgeguard together, to techchase together, to lose to Kirby players together, to climb up for high tournament placings together, knowing that we will be free one day.

This will be the day when all of Isai's followers will be able to sing with new meaning "My tourney 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where Kikoushi pwned, land where the randoms moaned, from every tournament, let freedom ring!"

And if Smashers are to be a great community, this must become true. So let freedom ring from the hilltops of New Hampshire. Let freedom ring from the mighty mountains of New York.

Let freedom ring from the heightening Alleghenies of Pennsylvania.

Let freedom ring from the snow-capped Rockies of Colorado.

Let freedom ring from the curvaceous slopes of California.

But not only that, let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia.

Let freedom ring from every hill and molehill of Mississippi and every mountainside.

When we let freedom ring, when we let it ring from every tournament and every smashfest, from every server and every matchmaking chat, we will be able to speed up that day when all of Smash 64's players, keyboard players and controller players, Pikachus and Kirbies, aggressors and camplers, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old spiritual, "Free at last, free at last. Thank Isai Almighty, we are free at last.

 

[Sangoku]

No keyboardist will be acknowledged, you shall remain silent.