Just wanted to get these out of my head...
Mostly referring to the competitive side of Smash 4 and are not supposed to be taken too seriously (and may be inaccurate or outright false as of this writing). So don't get offended or anything. Also some references may be a bit out there..
Inspired by this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8K80muFdiA
Scroll down to whichever character you want to see I guess.
---
Mario:
"I have beaten ZeRo, won big tournaments, and I am significantly better than most of the cast. But Ally still doesn't consider me top 5"
Luigi:
"They complained about my down throw having multiple kill combos, but they forgot about my cyclone gimping at 0%. Also, I hate Shulk."
Peach:
"I am probably the most technical character in the game and I have quite a bit of potential, but I still get dropped for Bayonetta and Cloud."
Bowser:
"I have no landing options and I get comboed by everyone. Where the hell are my buffs?"
Yoshi:
"I may not appear often, but when I do, prepare to get freaking deleted."
Rosalina:
"Of course I'm going to kill you at 0% and keep you from punishing my shield break. I am one of the worst designed characters in the game (though you should know that by now and get around it). I also like making Lucas and Ness mains reconsider their life choices."
Bowser Jr:
"I played Bowser Jr because Tweek played him. But I still have yet to win a match against a Cloud."
Wario:
"I always like seeing people's reactions when I gimp them with a dash attack at the ledge"
Donkey Kong:
"I don't know why customs were banned."
Diddy Kong:
"They got rid of my Hoo Hah, my grab range, and my kill power. But I am still top 5 and I can still delete sheik."
Game and watch:
"I depend on jank to even do well against the top tiers, my MU spread is garbage, and I die at 60%. Where the hell are my buffs?"
Little Mac:
"My results get carried by Sol and the developers hate me. They hate me so much that they nerfed my recovery and don't let KO punch kill in the air. Delete me please."
Link:
"Trifroze makes me look good but I will always be outclased by Toon Link."
Zelda:
"I have been in 3 smash games and Sakurai still makes me freefall after my side b. Freaking kill me."
Sheik:
"I am considered one of the best characters in the game even after my nerf, and VoiD still can't win a major with me."
Ganondorf:
"People laugh at me, until I spike them at 20%"
Toon Link:
"Remember when my Down Smash used to kill at 0%? Good times."
Samus:
"When's Melee?"
Zero Suit Samus:
"Stop airdodging"
Pit:
"I am punished for being a balanced character. Don't touch me unless your name is Earth."
Palutena:
"I say I main this character, but really I'm just going to whip out ZSS."
Marth:
"I finally got my big buffs. Now I'm going to do what everyone else in the community does and do some snoreworthy defensive play."
Ike:
"Reads give me life."
Robin:
"Who's male Robin?"
Duck Hunt:
"Move along. This isn't Japan."
Kirby:
"My relevancy died faster than Bleach."
Dedede:
"Can we go back to Project M?"
Meta Knight:
"Although this isn't Brawl. I still delight in landing 0 to deaths."
Fox:
"Larry Lurr gives me good results and the smash 4 community fears me, but none of that will ever compare to the feeling of shinespiking scrubs at 0%."
Falco:
"Of course I'm not going to use my lasers. They have more lag than Shulk's down smash. Give me back my lasers."
Pikachu:
"There are people out there who still pick lylat against me. We must find them and eviscerate them."
Charizard:
"At least I'm better than I was in Brawl."
Lucario:
"That is a nice stock you have there. It would be a shame if someone were to freaking delete it."
Jigglypuff:
"Why are you even looking at me in this game? Anyone smart would just play me in melee."
Greninja:
"I played greninja because of his cool footstool combos, but when push comes to shove I do what everyone else in this community does and play defensive."
R.O.B:
"Of course I'm going to zone you out this match. I get comboed by every top tier and my offensive options aren't that great. So deal with it."
Ness:
"I came from Melee and didn't want to strain my hands any further after playing Melee fox. Now I can win by just grabbing."
Captain Falcon:
"In the hands of a beginner I am nothing, in the hands of an expert I am a monster, in the hands of Fatality I am god."
Villager:
"I miss my tripping down b."
Olimar:
"If only i had 6 pikmin again.."
Wii Fit Trainer:
"Even though I got my buffs, I'm going to do what everyone else does and abuse my defensive play. Freaking hype."
Shulk:
"My tech skill is very high. But in reality I only use MALLC and my 50/50 jump monado tech. Because my frame data is cancer. Then I just abuse my defensive play with Shield and live until 200%. Because screw you."
Dr. Mario:
"I would be played more if customs were allowed. But then Mario would just use his gust cape and send me to the shadow realm."
Dark Pit:
"I am basically Pit but worse. Help."
Lucina:
"People used to say I suck, until Zero whipped me out and took out everyone. Now I am feared."
Pac-Man:
"My favorite thing is throwing a key at you like this is Kingdom Hearts. Also I worship Abadango even though his Pac-Man is collecting dust."
Mega-Man:
"Enjoy my zoning while dealing with my horrible connection. Also I worship Styles even though all I really do is stay at the corner and zone."
Sonic:
"Of course I'm going to come speeding at you, like i'm Gyro Zepplei's steel balls. If you didn't want the matches to last so long, then give me back my prepatch back throw."
Mewtwo:
"Thank you for the buffs Sakurai. Now excuse me while I go out of my way to serve a Smash 4 deep fried dish of "pure defensive play".
Lucas:
"I have these godlike combos that only show up 5% of the time. When I'm not doing those I just do what everyone else does and resort to defensive play. Also I want mother 3 to be released to the U.S. even though the translation will inevitably be worse than the one we already have."
Roy:
"I thought this was Project M HD."
Ryu:
"Finally a game where I don't have to deal with Vega."
Cloud:
"A wise man once said that you're not trying to win doubles if I'm not being played."
Corrin:
"My favorite thing was killing people at 0%. Now I'm just going to switch back to Rosalina."
Bayonetta:
"I used to be able to annihilate you at 0% vertically. Now I can annihilate you at 0% horizontally. Also I name myself DIO in For Glory."
Miis:
"Customs should make a return to Smash."
Mostly referring to the competitive side of Smash 4 and are not supposed to be taken too seriously (and may be inaccurate or outright false as of this writing). So don't get offended or anything. Also some references may be a bit out there..
Inspired by this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K8K80muFdiA
Scroll down to whichever character you want to see I guess.
---
Mario:
"I have beaten ZeRo, won big tournaments, and I am significantly better than most of the cast. But Ally still doesn't consider me top 5"
Luigi:
"They complained about my down throw having multiple kill combos, but they forgot about my cyclone gimping at 0%. Also, I hate Shulk."
Peach:
"I am probably the most technical character in the game and I have quite a bit of potential, but I still get dropped for Bayonetta and Cloud."
Bowser:
"I have no landing options and I get comboed by everyone. Where the hell are my buffs?"
Yoshi:
"I may not appear often, but when I do, prepare to get freaking deleted."
Rosalina:
"Of course I'm going to kill you at 0% and keep you from punishing my shield break. I am one of the worst designed characters in the game (though you should know that by now and get around it). I also like making Lucas and Ness mains reconsider their life choices."
Bowser Jr:
"I played Bowser Jr because Tweek played him. But I still have yet to win a match against a Cloud."
Wario:
"I always like seeing people's reactions when I gimp them with a dash attack at the ledge"
Donkey Kong:
"I don't know why customs were banned."
Diddy Kong:
"They got rid of my Hoo Hah, my grab range, and my kill power. But I am still top 5 and I can still delete sheik."
Game and watch:
"I depend on jank to even do well against the top tiers, my MU spread is garbage, and I die at 60%. Where the hell are my buffs?"
Little Mac:
"My results get carried by Sol and the developers hate me. They hate me so much that they nerfed my recovery and don't let KO punch kill in the air. Delete me please."
Link:
"Trifroze makes me look good but I will always be outclased by Toon Link."
Zelda:
"I have been in 3 smash games and Sakurai still makes me freefall after my side b. Freaking kill me."
Sheik:
"I am considered one of the best characters in the game even after my nerf, and VoiD still can't win a major with me."
Ganondorf:
"People laugh at me, until I spike them at 20%"
Toon Link:
"Remember when my Down Smash used to kill at 0%? Good times."
Samus:
"When's Melee?"
Zero Suit Samus:
"Stop airdodging"
Pit:
"I am punished for being a balanced character. Don't touch me unless your name is Earth."
Palutena:
"I say I main this character, but really I'm just going to whip out ZSS."
Marth:
"I finally got my big buffs. Now I'm going to do what everyone else in the community does and do some snoreworthy defensive play."
Ike:
"Reads give me life."
Robin:
"Who's male Robin?"
Duck Hunt:
"Move along. This isn't Japan."
Kirby:
"My relevancy died faster than Bleach."
Dedede:
"Can we go back to Project M?"
Meta Knight:
"Although this isn't Brawl. I still delight in landing 0 to deaths."
Fox:
"Larry Lurr gives me good results and the smash 4 community fears me, but none of that will ever compare to the feeling of shinespiking scrubs at 0%."
Falco:
"Of course I'm not going to use my lasers. They have more lag than Shulk's down smash. Give me back my lasers."
Pikachu:
"There are people out there who still pick lylat against me. We must find them and eviscerate them."
Charizard:
"At least I'm better than I was in Brawl."
Lucario:
"That is a nice stock you have there. It would be a shame if someone were to freaking delete it."
Jigglypuff:
"Why are you even looking at me in this game? Anyone smart would just play me in melee."
Greninja:
"I played greninja because of his cool footstool combos, but when push comes to shove I do what everyone else in this community does and play defensive."
R.O.B:
"Of course I'm going to zone you out this match. I get comboed by every top tier and my offensive options aren't that great. So deal with it."
Ness:
"I came from Melee and didn't want to strain my hands any further after playing Melee fox. Now I can win by just grabbing."
Captain Falcon:
"In the hands of a beginner I am nothing, in the hands of an expert I am a monster, in the hands of Fatality I am god."
Villager:
"I miss my tripping down b."
Olimar:
"If only i had 6 pikmin again.."
Wii Fit Trainer:
"Even though I got my buffs, I'm going to do what everyone else does and abuse my defensive play. Freaking hype."
Shulk:
"My tech skill is very high. But in reality I only use MALLC and my 50/50 jump monado tech. Because my frame data is cancer. Then I just abuse my defensive play with Shield and live until 200%. Because screw you."
Dr. Mario:
"I would be played more if customs were allowed. But then Mario would just use his gust cape and send me to the shadow realm."
Dark Pit:
"I am basically Pit but worse. Help."
Lucina:
"People used to say I suck, until Zero whipped me out and took out everyone. Now I am feared."
Pac-Man:
"My favorite thing is throwing a key at you like this is Kingdom Hearts. Also I worship Abadango even though his Pac-Man is collecting dust."
Mega-Man:
"Enjoy my zoning while dealing with my horrible connection. Also I worship Styles even though all I really do is stay at the corner and zone."
Sonic:
"Of course I'm going to come speeding at you, like i'm Gyro Zepplei's steel balls. If you didn't want the matches to last so long, then give me back my prepatch back throw."
Mewtwo:
"Thank you for the buffs Sakurai. Now excuse me while I go out of my way to serve a Smash 4 deep fried dish of "pure defensive play".
Lucas:
"I have these godlike combos that only show up 5% of the time. When I'm not doing those I just do what everyone else does and resort to defensive play. Also I want mother 3 to be released to the U.S. even though the translation will inevitably be worse than the one we already have."
Roy:
"I thought this was Project M HD."
Ryu:
"Finally a game where I don't have to deal with Vega."
Cloud:
"A wise man once said that you're not trying to win doubles if I'm not being played."
Corrin:
"My favorite thing was killing people at 0%. Now I'm just going to switch back to Rosalina."
Bayonetta:
"I used to be able to annihilate you at 0% vertically. Now I can annihilate you at 0% horizontally. Also I name myself DIO in For Glory."
Miis:
"Customs should make a return to Smash."
