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A0SHIMA- Where we and the shadows live-Week 1

A0SHIMA

Smash Rookie
Joined
Apr 29, 2018
Messages
5
Where we and the shadows live.


Part -0- Retsillacm.

Once upon a time, there was a town named Retsillacm. it was a quaint and quiet place but it had a spot of art in its soul with its large ornate temple to its painted business fronts. Also there where some famous places of dining in the town that served elvish food that was not Quite fit for the people that lived there, the royal and wealthy come from far and wide to eat this fantastic elvish food. There where four places of dining, the tavern Rosalee‘s, the romantic mountain top destination Geo’s ( which was owned by The famous witch Stella), a lodge made of the finest old house of royalty all fused together by the witch Stella,s sister Dovearena And the island of Caprena ( the third sister ) a floating mass of water suspended in the air by her magic. In the Center of the water was a island which housed a large tree that made a canopy above the Guest heads with Beautiful flowers of the deepest purple which had glowing orbs of light floating at there Center. These flowers where strong alone vines that Hung down all around the canopy lighting it at night time and giving the establishment a truly magical feel. The majority of Busies came from these restaurants but there was a small university and Academy of magic, as well as a large market square where everyone did there shopping. But you have not come to hear of magic restaurants and markets! On to the heroes of our story.


Part -1- Mackenzie.

The first of our hero’s is a young lady named Mackenzie. a feisty creature that was not to be trifled with! Yes she was not tall nor as strong as many but she was more out spoken then some would have liked and not a single thing man nor beast would want her to be never if she was out against them especially if she had her lightning Spell book with her. But she loved the creatures of the forest magic and natural alike they all had a spot in her heart, she would offer be seen giving food to the stray dogs and cats of the town or petting dear in the pasture out side the front gate or even talking with fairies. There where some that believed her to be a changeling wood elf because of this. but no one had ever been brave enough to find out.



Part -2- Eastman.

Our second hero in this tail is a fellow by the title of Eastman a friend of the moon. He often spent hours talking to the moon for he believed him to be very lonely (much like himself in the past), the moon was one of the only friends Eastman had never left over the years. After all it was not easy being the Third son of the Great War hero Ardeseseus a master of the blade and all forms of bloody combat. With his father moving from outpost to outpost his entire life and taking his family with him Eastman Ardeseseus-son ( for that was his full name) had seen the world and been on many adventures and also had many friends but he had left them all, all except the moon. Being one of the sons of this great hero had its advantages though, he had been tried not just by his father but by all of his best Warriors and generals in the deadliest techniques of war. He was a man none spoke ill of to his face but behind his back though he was hated by many and truly that was the way he liked it. Many of his friends though out the years had betrayed him in same way or other so he had gotten a shadowy out look on friends all together, he put up walls higher then any in the land around his heart to keep all away. He was cold to all And was left alone that way. It was just him, his dark black clothes, sword Luna and the moon. Until one day when our next hero came along.


Part -3- Janice.

Janice-Ann was a beautiful Young madden of great skill in the arts! Singing, playing, acting, painting and drawing she could do them all and quite well. The people of the town would often hear her from the forest outside the wall singing among-st the trees or see her painting from the window of her home. Among many talents that would drive most to pride and conceit she was the kindest soul in the township and maybe the land for that matter! For you see the most beautiful thing about her was the soul that lived in her giving off a precious light. Most would think a lady like this would be popular? the talk of the land and loved by all. But few paid her any mind for she was a bit odd or rather not like the people that lived in her town and for all the beauty and skill she possessed........ she was a kind of out cast even parts her family throughout her life had discussed her and told her to find things to do that would make her wealthy but that did not stop her, it just gave her a fire to fallow her passions and go beyond. She also loved to go horseback riding all over the surrounding area And when she was deep in the woods she would take out from the leather bag on her Seattle the silver throwing knifes that her father had given to her, Janice-Ann mostly practiced on the trees. Another one of her favorite things was to give her self masks of paint.



Part -4- A festival of change.

On windy day in The season of change. When the leafs where in the trees where all colors of red, brown and purple, the elves where brewing next seasons beer and people where saying there was a Dullahan wonder about the roads. Janice-Ann had painted her face like a Doe for the festival of All Hallows eve and on her way to the festival she ran into the new comer of the town all clad in black stalking across the square( in no costume I may add for these where just his clothes) she stop him saying with her hands behind her back coming up on tip toes to look taller then she was saying in the most friendly of voices “ I love your costume!” He reported with a glance “ this is not a costume these are my clothes” she apologize profusely saying sorry what felt to him to be one hundred times. He asked her name out of manners for he had been raised well. She replied “ Janice-Ann but my friends call me Janice!” With a bow and a good evening he turned to go when she grabbed his fear colored cloak and said “ what’s your name?” Turning back to face her again He squinted at her confused and reported “ Eastman Ardesesus-son” turning on his heal again to leave she grabbed his cloak once more and said “ would you like to join the festival? - no - why not - because! - well then will you please join me? At the festival? I have seen you in town and your never with anyone, you have been here for three seasons and I am alone most of the time too......so( and with “so” holding out her arms out to her side like for a hug) would you join me at the festival...... please?” And now Eastman was thoroughly confused he thought “ no one in this town has ever asked my name in return? And no one save mother has been this kind? I must know more about this girl, what was her name again? Oh never mind I don’t care but I most know more....she can’t be different all humans are the same. Also what is this light it feel as if It’s shining on my very soul?” Now out loud he replied “I will join the festival with you, but you cannot paint on my face!” She hugged him saying “Awesome!” And when she did this he looked like a stiff corpse with his arms straight out and an expression of surprise on his face. After she let him go turning towards the middle of the square saying and grabbing his cloak for the third time “follow me to the fun!” Then under her breath “and my paints” as promised she led him to fun........and to his dismay her face paint.


Part -5- The alter in the dark part of the forest.

In the early session of the sun, after a night spent deep in conversation with the moon, Eastman found himself stalking through the woods on a path he had never taken before, believing it to be a different way back to Retsillacm that he had somehow missed in his eighth session there. He was in high spirits…well, as high as they got for him…for he had planned a trip for he and Janice to see a cave that he had found a week earlier while walking in the night. The spot was through a large crevice in the side of a cliff, at the end of the tunnel the ceiling opened up to the sky and moonlight reached into it’s depths, throwing soft light into an unnaturally beautiful spring. The spring housed an ancient shrine which had been built to worship an old god of a fairy folk that no longer lived in the area. The bewitchingly clear water that flowed all around the shrine was teaming with lily pads, on which grew little black flowers with a red dot in their delicate center. Vines climbed like long fingers all along the stone walls, producing blood red grapes that when crushed emitted a liquid that Eastman thought was blood. On the stems, leaves with razor like edges could be found. When the vines reached the top of the cave they grew towards the middle, where a bone pillar stood. In turn the vines created a draping canopy as they intertwined together by some otherworldly force. Once finding the pillar, the vines twisted and wrapped around it, stabbing and digging into its core, as if to drink from within. At the bottom of the pillar was the floor of the shrine, and at the head, a black marble altar on which pictures of the dark fairies were depicted in wild dance, as well as ripping apart humans, both children and adults alike. These images covered the dark altar. Eastman had found an unsettling dark beauty in the whole scene and had been looking for a time to ask Janice to accompany him back.... but that was just the problem, he had not asked her. He had forgotten, and was now returning to town with the notion of just whisking her away for the day to go and visit the cave! He arrived back at his house thirty minutes later then he wanted to. He made a mental note to not be taking that path again. Getting home thirty minutes later than usual meant that most of his family had already woken up…which was not always good. Eastman crept into the house as silently as death in an attempt to reach his room before anyone found him to be missing. As he entered the main hall he peered around the vast room, hoping not to see his father in his large armchair by the fire. You see, Sir Ardesesus sat in this particular armchair every single morning he was home to read the holy texts, so Eastman was quite surprised not to see him there. The fire was lit, but there was no father in the Great armchair. Puzzled and on guard, he sat there mulling over this fact when he heard something behind him. He drew Luna quick as a flash and her silver blade glinted in the first rays of the sun. Steel hit steel as she clashed with a very familiar rapier. It was his brother, Haronamis, blocking his blade a mere five inches from his neck. His expression was as cool as ice, he wasn’t even looking at Eastman, his eyes were trained on one of his books, most of which where thicker than he was. He held it with his left while blocking Luna with the right. Once finding a stopping place, he turned his attention to Eastman with a wry smile “you really must be more careful brother, you would have taken mother's head off.” Haronamis closed the book and sheathed his rapper while Eastman replied, slight annoyance lacing his words “I was not going to kill you, just put my sword to the neck of whoever was behind me, and ask a couple of questions” he placed Luna back in her sheath as Haronamis turned and started to walk away “like in Wenohva?” Eastman stomped after him now, “NO, not like in Wenohva! That was completely different.” Haronamis stopped in his tracks “tell that to those purebloods.” Eastman turned on his heel, done with this conversation he cut him off, “I have not time for this, where is father?” Haronamis answered with a shake of his head, “Really? You wouldn't know would you? He told everyone last night he was leaving this morning for an assignment and did not know when he would return. You would have known had you not been off God knows where.” Not a bit taken aback about his father leaving, Eastman continued walking towards his room and called over his shoulder “tell mother I am going out for the day and will be home within two more!” Haronamis glanced up as he opened his book again, now sitting at the table “she will not like that Eastman.” Eastman opened the door to his room “do I ever care?” He then went into his room but then left again soon after, having got what he came for. As Eastman walked out to the stables, he donned has favorite fear colored cloak and then saddled his one-eyed horse Eva. Once mounted, he nudged the horse onto the road leading to town in search of Janice-Ann. He had a day planned for the two of them and nothing would stop him.
 

Pazzo.

「Livin' On A Prayer」
Joined
Oct 3, 2012
Messages
9,187
The full 1750 then, huh? The strengths of this piece is its potential set to develop a full world and characters from. I think you need to work on grammar and making your characters sound and act more natural, but this is a great start. Congrads on being the first to finish your weekly quota.
 

Natz~

Full of Hugs and Fire~
Joined
Dec 19, 2013
Messages
6,662
Location
Still rolling
got all the world building out of the way eh?~

anyway its fantasy based, always did love stories based on elves and all the other fantasy based races

though think ya could of done better having the world building mess together so it plays out more like scenes jumping around then just being fractured, also givng the characters more life for the future is something to meld with meshing the world building with themselves, more than responses can go a long way with actual impact to make them feel as if they have part in the story then merely players and reactors from events that are planned

just my advice~ feel free to ignore me as i might not know what i'm talking bout XD
 

A0SHIMA

Smash Rookie
Joined
Apr 29, 2018
Messages
5
Thanks for the feed back you two! i am pretty new at this so i will take the advice and try and run with it!
 
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