A Question About Friendlies

[FinClauzel]

This may have a very, very simple answer for some, but whenever I play friendlies with someone, my mindset is to be absolutely perfect on every single thing I do as Marth and win, and when I drop something, I try to work with it into something else. However if it doesn't work out to be a kill, then I get angry, like "I really want to break someone's neck" angry (I wouldn't really do that, by the way. I'm not dumb :| ), I feel like I look like an idiot, I'm disappointed in myself, and a bunch of other negative emotions that rush into my head at over 10000 miles per second.

So my question is what is the mindset to learning how to get better without becoming psychologically insane(lol)? I know this is a question I should be asking a therapist, but I feel like we've all been there and we've had this block once in our smash careers, but its been an ongoing problem I've been having since I started back in last march.

 

[Hameed Ziabari]

Players like Leffen and Mew2King had that same mindset, thats what made them good.

Except you're a bit different, and its mainly the feeling of 'embarrassment'. You should never feel unwelcomed or embarrassed while playing smash. You should be trying to get better to feel happier, not to feel less bad. Friendlies exist to because people were bored at smash tournaments and wanted to play smash. Dont play to be perfect, play to have fun and with enough experience youll become good anyway.

 

[EPsilon933]

Melee's a fun game. Why would anyone ever get upset about playing Melee

 

[AirFair]

Yeah I do get upset when I start to drop things, but It does take time. That's something you have to accept if you want to break these blocks.

 

[FinClauzel]

Melee's a fun game. Why would anyone ever get upset about playing Melee

I'm a very competitive person, so when I'm playing melee or any other game for that matter I forget about fun, for some reason I don't know why (thats why I'm asking the question), and I go for the win because I'm that competitive. Its not like I'm going on melee and saying "I'm not going to have fun with melee today." I want to practice practice practice and then be able to see how I do after that tech grind, even though I main marth but whatever. I want to have fun, but I always seem to forget about the fun and start going for the win during a 6 hour smash session.

 

[KillerGum]

I commend your competitive spirit, but i think it would be best if you change your mindset from "I want to win this game" to "I want to improve my play as much as possible, win or lose". You seem to be putting an unnecessary amount of pressure on yourself to perform perfectly. If your only goal is to win, you won't improve as much and you won't have a good time when you lose. Instead of just getting angry, try to analyze what went wrong, take notes on it (mental or on paper) and use positive reinforcement to improve.

When I mess up or lose, I become disappointed in myself, but I transfer that emotion into motivation and say, "Next time, I have to do x or y differently." or "I need to grind more in the lab when i get home.", all while staying positive. Do your best to disassociate negative emotions with losing/dropping stuff.

I'm no therapist, but that's just my two cents. I'm not exactly sure how you would go about changing your mindset. If you feel this is something that affects your overall happiness in general life/ has a negative affect on your relationships with others, I would recommend maybe seeing a therapist if you can.