Skler
Smash Master
Link to original post: [drupal=3631]A Building Tried to Steal My Car, or Skler Gets Stuck in the Concrete Temple.[/drupal]
My car got stuck in a building that resembles a parking garage in several ways. It was a big, concrete building full of cars with giant, garage-like openings in the front. There was even a lady getting out of a car in it that looked like somebody you'd come across on the street. This building was not a parking garage though.
After parking my car I stride towards the exit and notice something is amiss. There are two giant fences attached to chains that could easily be moved across the entrances by way of two machines. I look around and notice the lady who had just left her car left through a door in the back.
That's when the gears start to turn. I watch in abject horror as the enormous fences begin to close. It doesn't take long for the fences to get into position, leaving me and my car in the gaping maw of this concrete behemoth. Never before have I heard of something like this happening to anyone else. I'm not a lucky person, but this is unbelievable.
I think of calling somebody, the police maybe, and explaining to them that my car is trapped in a building. Then I think that there's a good chance I am not supposed to be in that building in the first place. They might think I'm a burglar, burglarizing all the cars that are parked there. Maybe the building is important to the government in some way. It had good security for being a bunch of parked cars. I can't fit through the fence if I try (I do anyways) and I'm pretty lean. At best you could toss a three-year-old over the top, and I'm not sure they'd survive the ten foot drop. It's a big fence. The building itself has a severe lack of windows, had I approached it from any other side it would have been fairly clear it wasn't a parking garage.
Perhaps this is a good time to explain how I got into this building. You see, I was going to the local food bank to help them unload trucks. The parking lot was full and this seemingly perfect parking garage was sitting right behind the food bank. It even had an open spot that I could see! Sure it was a bit small (there were maybe 40 spots in it), but I didn't plan on being there long and downtown parking is literally impossible to find. At worst I'd get a $10 ticket for parking. I love paying to do work so I was fine with that.
Anyways, back to the giant building that wanted to keep my car. My first instinct was to run through the door the lady left through. Only a minute had passed since I got into the garage so she had to be close. I sprint to the green door and note that it's very hefty, also metallic, and has a lock on it. Really good security for a lockdown scenario I suppose. The door is thankfully unlocked and it leads to concrete stairs. I head up the stairs and am met by another heavy metal door. This one also has a lock on it, but it opens to the outside. Unfortunately my car can't climb stairs or fit through person-sized doors. I try wiggling the other side of the handle, the door is locked to the outside world. What is so important about this building?
The stairs don't go any higher so I walk back down and go into the garage. I look at the license plates to see if any of them are government workers or something of the sort. There is absolutely nothing special about these cars. One has a GPS in the windshield, but I decide that while a GPS would compensate for the troubles of being trapped in a giant concrete cage I have no way of leaving and would rather not be charged with theft. I decide to look around the building for anything that may help me get out. At this point I honestly feel like I'm playing a video game and this isn't real life. Things like this don't happen to people. I should have an overhead view and an inventory, not a first person view and a pocket with my keys and wallet in it.
A quick survey of the room, which isn't terribly big (it fits about 40 cars in 4 columns and has enough room for a big U shaped aisle that lets cars drive in to get into their spots), shows a few points of interest. Apart from the obvious exits that are covered by gigantic fences on chains (which do not budge when pushed, pulled or slid) and the heavy green door, there is a different locked door (that is also green) and a decent sized fenced in area. The fence of the fenced in area might as well lead to the ceiling and contains some machinery. It has a fence door that is locked. Not a single entrance in this place does not have a lock on it. There are no windows too, which is creepy on its own.
I decide that my attention is best focused on the two machines that are holding the chains with the fence/gate attached to them. Each one controls one side and they are pretty clearly not supposed to be controlled directly from the machine. Chances are there's a timer and a control panel elsewhere. I obviously just need to take out the guard with the keys and then use them to reach the control panel. Oh wait, this is real life.
After a quick sweep for security cameras near the gates I'm satisfied that nobody can see me. I yank the chain with all of my strength in an effort to open up an exit. The chain doesn't move at all. The other chain proves to be equally stubborn. I am not pleased, the police seem like a valid option at this point.
Again I think about what being caught in a locked building that I don't have a permit for could entail. No, no police. This requires action. I'm a man. A manly man who does things with his hands! I get a closer look at the machines. There's a tiny chain attached to them that says "manual". Fair enough, I tug on it. I then move to that machine's other chain and give it a pull. Nothing. I try the other machine and chain, nothing again. Wait, I think to myself, maybe if I pull the chain while tugging on the manual chain? This proves to work a tiny bit, as the chain slides every so slightly into the machine. I try again on the same machine, no success. Same thing on the other machine, it moves the fence maybe half an inch. That's half an inch closer to freedom!
I spend maybe 15 minutes desperately tugging on different chains at the same time. Apparently this was a one time deal. My hands are now disgusting looking and anyone who happens to be walking by will see a desperate looking man clawing away at chains with greasy hands. Whenever I see movement outside the gates I duck behind the wall like some sort of feral beast. Today is not going well.
You know what? Tugging on this stuff is for chumps. I'm angry at this point. I notice that the machines are covered in some sheet metal, like it's a container or something. I lift one of these covers off a machine, it's like a big old cube of metal with rough edges, and place it on the ground out of sight. It's still pretty loud, especially removing it, and it sounds like I'm actually vandalizing this stupid building. Under the covers the machine is just a big, ugly engine that clearly serves one purpose and one purpose alone. It pulls chains and stops chains from being pulled.
I look the machine over, hoping that some of the knowledge my engineering buddies have rubbed off on me somehow. The chain with the gate on it just kind of feeds into the machine, but the other chain, the manual chain, now looks longer since I exposed the machine's insides. I have to get on my knees for my next attempt at escape and yank down hard on the manual chain. Still holding the chain I scoot over to the fence chain and grab onto it and start to pull. Slowly but surely the fence moves towards me, making an unholy amount of noise as I sit on my knees looking like a car thief. Thankfully nobody is walking by or within earshot and curious about all the rattling.
After thirty seconds or so of pulling, this is the slowest moving chain in existence and I'm in a terribly uncomfortable position, I decide there's enough room to drive out. I put the cover back on the machine and get into my car, excited to escape what I now believe is car hell. All I want to do is leave, it's already too late to volunteer and I look like a homeless person now, not a volunteer. My hair is matted with sweat and my palms are black. I'm still upset about the whole situation and am completely out of the mood to help anyone. Getting into my car I consider parking nearby and then closing the gate, erasing any proof that I was ever in that building.
Too bad for them, I hope they get robbed when I leave that gate open. Maybe then they'll put a sign up that says "Danger, we have giant gates that close and will trap you and your car for all of eternity. See you in hell."
I drive away and Highway to the Danger Zone comes on the radio. I wasted half an hour of my life escaping a prison for cars. At least I got to feel like a bad *** on my way out.
My car got stuck in a building that resembles a parking garage in several ways. It was a big, concrete building full of cars with giant, garage-like openings in the front. There was even a lady getting out of a car in it that looked like somebody you'd come across on the street. This building was not a parking garage though.
After parking my car I stride towards the exit and notice something is amiss. There are two giant fences attached to chains that could easily be moved across the entrances by way of two machines. I look around and notice the lady who had just left her car left through a door in the back.
That's when the gears start to turn. I watch in abject horror as the enormous fences begin to close. It doesn't take long for the fences to get into position, leaving me and my car in the gaping maw of this concrete behemoth. Never before have I heard of something like this happening to anyone else. I'm not a lucky person, but this is unbelievable.
I think of calling somebody, the police maybe, and explaining to them that my car is trapped in a building. Then I think that there's a good chance I am not supposed to be in that building in the first place. They might think I'm a burglar, burglarizing all the cars that are parked there. Maybe the building is important to the government in some way. It had good security for being a bunch of parked cars. I can't fit through the fence if I try (I do anyways) and I'm pretty lean. At best you could toss a three-year-old over the top, and I'm not sure they'd survive the ten foot drop. It's a big fence. The building itself has a severe lack of windows, had I approached it from any other side it would have been fairly clear it wasn't a parking garage.
Perhaps this is a good time to explain how I got into this building. You see, I was going to the local food bank to help them unload trucks. The parking lot was full and this seemingly perfect parking garage was sitting right behind the food bank. It even had an open spot that I could see! Sure it was a bit small (there were maybe 40 spots in it), but I didn't plan on being there long and downtown parking is literally impossible to find. At worst I'd get a $10 ticket for parking. I love paying to do work so I was fine with that.
Anyways, back to the giant building that wanted to keep my car. My first instinct was to run through the door the lady left through. Only a minute had passed since I got into the garage so she had to be close. I sprint to the green door and note that it's very hefty, also metallic, and has a lock on it. Really good security for a lockdown scenario I suppose. The door is thankfully unlocked and it leads to concrete stairs. I head up the stairs and am met by another heavy metal door. This one also has a lock on it, but it opens to the outside. Unfortunately my car can't climb stairs or fit through person-sized doors. I try wiggling the other side of the handle, the door is locked to the outside world. What is so important about this building?
The stairs don't go any higher so I walk back down and go into the garage. I look at the license plates to see if any of them are government workers or something of the sort. There is absolutely nothing special about these cars. One has a GPS in the windshield, but I decide that while a GPS would compensate for the troubles of being trapped in a giant concrete cage I have no way of leaving and would rather not be charged with theft. I decide to look around the building for anything that may help me get out. At this point I honestly feel like I'm playing a video game and this isn't real life. Things like this don't happen to people. I should have an overhead view and an inventory, not a first person view and a pocket with my keys and wallet in it.
A quick survey of the room, which isn't terribly big (it fits about 40 cars in 4 columns and has enough room for a big U shaped aisle that lets cars drive in to get into their spots), shows a few points of interest. Apart from the obvious exits that are covered by gigantic fences on chains (which do not budge when pushed, pulled or slid) and the heavy green door, there is a different locked door (that is also green) and a decent sized fenced in area. The fence of the fenced in area might as well lead to the ceiling and contains some machinery. It has a fence door that is locked. Not a single entrance in this place does not have a lock on it. There are no windows too, which is creepy on its own.
I decide that my attention is best focused on the two machines that are holding the chains with the fence/gate attached to them. Each one controls one side and they are pretty clearly not supposed to be controlled directly from the machine. Chances are there's a timer and a control panel elsewhere. I obviously just need to take out the guard with the keys and then use them to reach the control panel. Oh wait, this is real life.
After a quick sweep for security cameras near the gates I'm satisfied that nobody can see me. I yank the chain with all of my strength in an effort to open up an exit. The chain doesn't move at all. The other chain proves to be equally stubborn. I am not pleased, the police seem like a valid option at this point.
Again I think about what being caught in a locked building that I don't have a permit for could entail. No, no police. This requires action. I'm a man. A manly man who does things with his hands! I get a closer look at the machines. There's a tiny chain attached to them that says "manual". Fair enough, I tug on it. I then move to that machine's other chain and give it a pull. Nothing. I try the other machine and chain, nothing again. Wait, I think to myself, maybe if I pull the chain while tugging on the manual chain? This proves to work a tiny bit, as the chain slides every so slightly into the machine. I try again on the same machine, no success. Same thing on the other machine, it moves the fence maybe half an inch. That's half an inch closer to freedom!
I spend maybe 15 minutes desperately tugging on different chains at the same time. Apparently this was a one time deal. My hands are now disgusting looking and anyone who happens to be walking by will see a desperate looking man clawing away at chains with greasy hands. Whenever I see movement outside the gates I duck behind the wall like some sort of feral beast. Today is not going well.
You know what? Tugging on this stuff is for chumps. I'm angry at this point. I notice that the machines are covered in some sheet metal, like it's a container or something. I lift one of these covers off a machine, it's like a big old cube of metal with rough edges, and place it on the ground out of sight. It's still pretty loud, especially removing it, and it sounds like I'm actually vandalizing this stupid building. Under the covers the machine is just a big, ugly engine that clearly serves one purpose and one purpose alone. It pulls chains and stops chains from being pulled.
I look the machine over, hoping that some of the knowledge my engineering buddies have rubbed off on me somehow. The chain with the gate on it just kind of feeds into the machine, but the other chain, the manual chain, now looks longer since I exposed the machine's insides. I have to get on my knees for my next attempt at escape and yank down hard on the manual chain. Still holding the chain I scoot over to the fence chain and grab onto it and start to pull. Slowly but surely the fence moves towards me, making an unholy amount of noise as I sit on my knees looking like a car thief. Thankfully nobody is walking by or within earshot and curious about all the rattling.
After thirty seconds or so of pulling, this is the slowest moving chain in existence and I'm in a terribly uncomfortable position, I decide there's enough room to drive out. I put the cover back on the machine and get into my car, excited to escape what I now believe is car hell. All I want to do is leave, it's already too late to volunteer and I look like a homeless person now, not a volunteer. My hair is matted with sweat and my palms are black. I'm still upset about the whole situation and am completely out of the mood to help anyone. Getting into my car I consider parking nearby and then closing the gate, erasing any proof that I was ever in that building.
Too bad for them, I hope they get robbed when I leave that gate open. Maybe then they'll put a sign up that says "Danger, we have giant gates that close and will trap you and your car for all of eternity. See you in hell."
I drive away and Highway to the Danger Zone comes on the radio. I wasted half an hour of my life escaping a prison for cars. At least I got to feel like a bad *** on my way out.