Wario Wario Wario

Wario Wario Wario · Sep 1, 2020

Crash 4 redesigns IMO:

Improvement:
Coco (this one comes rather close, she's cuter in N. Sane, but About Time is a lot more expressive)
Dingodile (absolutely the biggest upgrade, body positivity icon.)
N. Tropy (it's just the N. Sane design but more expressive)

Downgrade:
Crash (don't like the fur, or lack thereof)
Cortex (eww, round head...)
N. Gin (the biggest downgrade of them all, I usually prefer more expressive designs, but having a ride range of expressions just doesn't fit Gin.)

Wario Wario Wario · Sep 1, 2020

I find the term "politically incorrect" absolutely hilarious because, considering the separate definitions of the words "politically" and "incorrect", if you call yourself PI you're basically just saying you're objectively wrong.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 31, 2020

If something came out in 1999, it's less from the 90s and more from... the 90, singular.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 31, 2020

SmashWiki lists Roy as a semi-clone and Doc as a full clone.

SmashWiki is run by idiots.

I say this as a long-time SmashWiki contributor.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 31, 2020

I think the one potential Smash character I'm the most mixed on is Tetromino - it's simultaneously a great and terrible idea. It deserves the slot no doubt, but whether it should have the slot is a different story.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 31, 2020

Sometimes I randomly think about that one Mario 3D Land level where you can just jump over the whole thing.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 30, 2020

OK, let's settle this once and for all: which super-powered animal team 80s cartoon had the best theme song? I can't decide between Avenger Penguins and Street Sharks

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 30, 2020

Rise of the TMNT was a victim caught in the crossfire of unnecessary Thundercats Roar and TTG hate, change my mind.

Seriously though, comedy reboots are not the enemy, this is:

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 30, 2020

The Crash 4 redesigns are growing on me, but I still prefer the N. Sane Trilogy designs. Anything's better than tattoo'd Crash and square Coco though.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 30, 2020

I love this ad because it begins off genuinely serious and harrowing, then it's like "nah, it wasn't her mother or anything, it was just Crash Bandicoot. Don't pirate our games" - but like, the ad's score makes it seem like it's a big twist, and it's worse that Lara Croft died than what you were expecting.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 30, 2020

This fake box art from 2008 predicted modern day memes

In all honesty though, modern memes are basically the same as a child coming up with video game ideas.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 30, 2020

Nintendo needs to make Nintenhamsters for sole purpose of getting a hamster cage as a Smash stage. There is no thing more perfectly fit for a platform fighter stage.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 30, 2020

When playing retro games with save states, extra lives are good because funny number goes kaching.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 30, 2020

If Alex Kidd DX could start off as a fangame and get licensed as an official, paid product, then surely they could do the same for Sonic Studio. That game's quality and understanding of the source material matches even Mania.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 30, 2020

The Kencineroar trailer is strange - a martial artist fights a boxer, then a wrestler comes in uninvited? what rules are they playing by?

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 30, 2020

NES emulation on Wii had such an unnerving vibe to it.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 30, 2020

I'd love to have Coin Mode and Single Button Mode back.

Sorry Bonus Mode.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 30, 2020

When I was growing up I always thought the Rayman 2 box art looked way too dramatic

Then I discovered what it looks like in the US.

Jesus Christ graphic designers, it's just Rayman, not a god damn Lord of the Rings X Matrix crossover.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 30, 2020

You know how KFC opened a gaming Twitch channel? I had a dream where KFC opened a bank, and my parents were forcing me to start my debit card with KFC.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 30, 2020

The Poison Mushroom could easily be changed to the Mini-Mushroom and made into a power-up instead of a power-down.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 30, 2020

The Sans costume makes a decent outfit for a Kumatora Mii.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 30, 2020

Funky Kong is a weird case when it comes to Smash because you could extremely easily work out an original moveset for him with surface level knowledge alone, but he just makes more sense as an echo fighter.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 29, 2020

The ads for Struggling on NintendoLife are genuinely making me a little queasy - I have a high gross out tolerance and I'd have no problem with it on the side of an article, but maybe that's not the best game to give a giant banner ad...

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 29, 2020

I never got the significance to Waluigi being made to be a tennis partner. Most Mario characters were created for really insignificant reasons - Luigi was a palette swap they just so happened to give a name as opposed to "Mario (II)"; Yoshi was pretty much just a power-up, and Diddy was even less significant: a life bar.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 29, 2020

If Nintendo need a tennis partner for Pauline, Stanley would be the best candidate. Cranky could work too, but that'd raise a lot of questions that benefit nobody to answer - except Kotaku since they'd get a lot of clicks.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 29, 2020

Pimp my ride.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 29, 2020

I'm sure there was a Donkey Kong game where Funky had an invisible surf board, but I can't find it no matter how hard I try.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 29, 2020

Legalise the Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated custom stage for competitive play

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 29, 2020

I wouldn't be opposed to Fall Guy in Smash.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 28, 2020

Doomguy probably has the award for "most names for a single video game character in a single region" - like, there's Doomguy, Doom Marine, Doom Slayer, and just Slayer.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 28, 2020

The most unnecessary video game in history is probably Twisted Metal: Small Brawl. It's a game with a genius idea on paper, make a kid-friendly version of the T-rated Twisted Metal featuring toy cars - but the thing is: Small Brawl was ALSO rated T, therefore eliminating any need for it to exist in the first place.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 28, 2020

LJN, Blast, Outright Games, the spirit of terrible shovelware never goes - and there's something strangely comforting in that.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 28, 2020

If Angry Birds was made today the enemies would be green crows.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 28, 2020

Just because a game can have a story mode, doesn't mean it should have a story mode. World of Light is the best proof of this you can get.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 28, 2020

When they made Chicken Run, they gave all the chickens neck-wear as to hide the seams in their metal skeletons.

I guess that makes it the first Western hen tie movie.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 28, 2020

Me: "No Straight Roads has the ugliest character designs I've ever seen!"

Also me: Gawks over Motherboard from Cyberchase as "character design goals"

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 27, 2020

The Sonic spirit choices really confuse me. Why don't Classic, Rookie and Zavok have spirits? Why isn't Tails a Legend class? Why doesn't Gamma enhance to a Flicky spirit? If Gamma has a spirit why can't Tikal?

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 27, 2020

Imagine people in 10 years trying to understand all the fan art they find on Google Images of Incineroar beating up the Grinch.

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 27, 2020

Since Matt Groening draws Itchy and Scratchy in the same style as The Simpsons themselves, does that mean that Itchy and Scratchy is just a series of televised snuff films, not cartoons?

Wario Wario Wario · Aug 27, 2020

If Donkey Kong was a donkey, would he be called Gorilla A-actually, I'm not sure if I can say that with SmashBoards' profanity filter.

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