JesiahTEG
Smash Master
TO MODS: I edited this post for like 20 mins cutting out the cuss words. If you find any still in there, my bad I missed em. Feel free to edit them out or lemme know.
Yo what's good Smash community. So I've been kind of away from the scene for a while, but I wanted to write up a really important post to me. It's been on my mind for a while, and I think despite its cheesiness, many people will resonate with it and even those who think it's gay will probably at least find it interesting. I'm gonna try to compact it as much as I can, but it's probably gonna be really long anyways. It's gotta be though, to get the message across. If you're planning on reading though, don't let that discourage you. Instead, set aside time, because I guarantee you won't ever read anything this deep or meaningful on Smashboards. This post is coming from the heart, 100%, with no regard or thought to what anyone thinks about me or will think about this post, and in today's day and age, today's modern society where everyone is so worried about who they are and are so influenced by social conditioning, this is rare.
Before I start, while reading, I want you to keep the themes in mind, my main points. Those are, what it means to ME to be a dedicated Melee player, what the NO JOHNS philosophy has done for my life, and what it means to grow into a man.
Also, you gotta excuse my writing. I never really learned how to write, not even the basics really, so if it's really unorganized you know why. I tried my best though.
Iight, with that out of the way, if you're planning on reading, thanks in advance, and welcome to the life/story of JesiahTEG.
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EDIT: Actually, the writing's not so bad, but I have to warn you, this is MUCH LONGER than I thought. Just a warning.
To begin with, I've come a very long way since I came into this world. I had it hard growing up, really really hard. I was pretty much doomed to a life of drugs, alcohol, violence and just pure hopelesness. I didn't realize it at the time, since that type of environment was literally my life, and when you've grown up in a certain world, that IS reality to you.
I'm not just saying this either. Actually I've come so far and evolved so much as a person, that it actually takes me some time for me to sit down and remember where I came from, and feel it like I used to feel it. It's not fun, remembering all the messed up stuff I went through. My alcoholic, cocaine addicted mom, who leeched off of the government her whole life, and despite staying at home all day long and wasting away, never cleaned the house or even attempted to take care of it.
I had guinea pigs once, but we had to give them away because maggots started growing in their cage since my mom never changed it.
If she ran out of alcohol/drugs and didn't have any money to buy more and had no more loan sharks that trusted her enough to pay them back, then she'd drink mouthwash, or anything we had in the house.
Been in a foster home for 2 weeks, seen mad dudes doing my mom right in the living room over the course of my childhood. Took care of my 2 younger brothers when they were infants. Yeah, changing diapers, making their formula and putting it in a bottle so they could eat/nourish themselves. Been to jail twice, probation for three years. Not ***** jail either, real jail. 23 hours in, 1 hour out at the age of 16.
My dad died when I was 15, my brother Jordan died (who was 15 years old) when I was 18. Moved out of my house then and have been on my own ever since.
Didn't even really make it out of high school. I have a bootleg diploma, but that doesn't mean I earned it. I got kicked out of my school district in the beginning of 11th grade, and got sent to a ****** school, where every kid there got kicked out of their school either for violence, drugs, or being a dumb you know what. I was supposed to graduate in 07, but I got held back and at the end of the 08 year, when I was supposed to graduate a year later than originally, I didn't have enough work done to graduate. Luckily, my teachers at this dumb school really liked me so passed me anyways. (Yes, that means illegally)
There's a lot I could say, really. There was some good too, I had great friends, a great grandmother even though she moved away when I was young, and an amazing girlfriend(s). But, even though there was good, there was also more bad as well.
I'm not gonna spend more time typing it all out, but just to paint you a picture of my life at the time, think Eminem. (which is ironic considering how much I HATED Eminem back then) Really, not detail for detail at all, in fact I didn't even live in the hood after the age of 5 thanks to my grandpa, but anyone who is familiar with Eminem's story, that same sort of general life is where I was at up until I moved out of my condo. No control over my emotions, no regard for anything, including my future and my actions. I just didn't know any better. I went to a rich person school and everyone there seemed so foreign to me. I just thought they were so different from me, with their ipods and cars and good grades. It was hell to me, I just felt so looked down upon.
But luckily for me, on December 2nd of 2006, I made a decision that would not only give me my first taste of what it means to have direction in life, but I made a decision that would lead to me becoming better and better in every aspect of my life, and ultimate show me a destiny for me that I never even knew existed. That decision was to look on youtube to see what videos people posted about SSBM, since I had played it casually as a kid and I was just curious to see if anyone else played it like I did. (Which at the time, I thought I was the best of course)
At this point in my life, I had already been kicked out of my school district and was set to graduate from my ****** school at the end of the school year, but alas, I got held back for a year. So for the next few paragraphs you gotta remember I'm still in school, despite barely going or trying at all.
So eventually I found out about a local gaming center called Arena 51, where there were apparently some people that played Melee. Like a cocky nub, I started posting on their forums about how I was going to obliterate them all, and even though I didn't expect it back then, they all started attacking me, dissing me and hating me. This part of my life I remember so clearly. So excited to go to Arena 51 and shut these haters up. So I went eventually, and the first person I met was Kelvin, or Goodies, who was the main manager at Arena 51.
I'll never forget, it was 10:20 P.M., and it was a free for all on Hyrule Temple. I was Red Marth because I loved Ken, and Goodies was Blue Marth. We eventually beat the other two people, and were on the top right part of the stage with 2 lives a piece, just me and him. I had talked with Goodies on the forums and he was the ONLY person to be nice to me and encourage me to come out.
Right as we were about to battle it out, the TV turned off because the account holder's time ran out. OMG! How epic. All this trash talk and I was here, ready to face the enemy with 2 lives a piece, and the TV turns off. I couldn't believe it.
Kelvin used his magic unlimited hours account to turn the tv back on, and proceeded to obliterate me for the next few hours, and the I eventually got obliterated by everyone there. For months. Over, and over and over. Everyone that I **** talked, SWEARING that I was gonna beat them, just stomped me. 4 stock, 3 stock, day in day out. They would just laugh at me too. It was so painful, being looked down upon by my region.
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At this point, I became obsessed. Goodies began to live with me, and my schedule was as followed for 6-8 months: I'd go to school at 7AM, sleep through it all or skip it and chill with my friend John, go home at 3PM where Kelvin was at my place practicing Peach, and he would take us to Arena. I'd go there, sleep till 6PM, then wake up and practice Melee all night until I had to go to school in the morning. I pretty much lived off of Ramen Noodles, water and Bawls energy drinks.
I still got stomped out, but at this period of my life I learned how to do all of the advanced techniques at the time, and at least had a good idea of the general concepts of each matchup with Marth. I only played Marth, and loved Ken Combo hahaha. I was obsessed with it. I had girlfriends too at this time, which looking back I'm so grateful for their support because it was really all I had at the time besides Goodies.
Anyways, eventually I was so fed up with getting stomped by my region and trashtalked, that I decided to travel to Pennsylvania to train with UmbreonMow, since he came to Rochester once and I became friends with him. I thought Mow was so cool because he was a really good Smasher that actually talked to me on AIM, and even moreso, had faith in me, always, no matter what. I'd message him talking about how bad I wanted to be the best in my region and he'd always tell me I could do it, and to practice with music and use repitition and little small tips about Marth. A lot of my foundation as a player probably comes from Mow actually.
Travelling to PA was HUGE for me, because at the time everyone in my region was destroying me and making fun of me, and the reason why this was so significant for me was because it was my first time applying the "No Johns" mindset to my life. I would come up with so many reasons why I was taking so long to improve and everyone just said "No Johns." It was their answer to my complaining, and at the time it annoyed me but eventually I got so angry I just said "Fine, forget it then scrubs, no johns, I'm going to train."
I went to PA and stuff got real. (Btw, I took a Greyhound using the money I got from selling my PS1 games, and also left the country illegally since I was on probation and not allowed to leave the county. Oh and I also left on a Thursday when I had school.)
This Smashfest was SO CRAZY to me. It was this Smashfest that turned me into a "Melee Player." And I'll explain what I mean by "Melee Player" later, but it's much more than just someone that plays Melee.
Oh btw, at this point in my life, to me, the Melee world was starting to form in my head as a separate world that I desperately wanted to live in. It became an escape. I'm not saying this is the way you should think about it, cuz now that I'm older I realize that's not how you want to think about it, but at the time I didn't know better.
Scar was there before he got really good, so I met him and we chilled. There was a **** Falco named Reik who doesn't play anymore, but he was the most underrated Falco IMO at the time. He was beating M2K at least 50% of the time, and this was 07 when M2K was at the top. Falco vs Marth, on FD. He was really good, and he stomped me for hours.
I clearly remember having so much trouble learning not to tech towards the center of the stage after he dair'd me with Falco near the edge of the stage. He would just turn and Fsmash my tech and after like 3 hours of him trying to teach me to stop doing that, I still kept doing it and we would just pause and die laughing because I just couldn't stop.
It was so funny, but at the time I didn't realize that I had a REALLY big problem breaking habits, more than most people actually.
I watched Scar train with Reik and was very inspired. I played with The Cape, who rocked me with Red Sheik who he called "Blood Sheik," played against a guy who I think his name was El_Kamasutro? He played Green Marth and told me to "Utilt near the ledge over and over" with Marth, because mad people just run in and it leads to dair at the right percents. And he ***** me with that hahaha.
There was another player named Savedge, and Tope was there and he made me feel like **** because I wasn't good enough to play with the pros at the time hahahaha.
Anyways, that Smashfest really changed me. It was my first introduction to the community and I LOVED mostly everyone. There was also someone else that was so cool. He was Scar's friend and if I heard his name, I would remember, but I can't right now.
What REALLY inspired me though was M2K. I remember watching M2K DOMINATE this T.V., and people were lined up to practice vs him. He striked them down, one by one, for hours, and I remember thinking to myself, "That's gonna be me someday. I want people to line up to play vs me. I want to own the TV, I want to be the king of it."
And actually that's a part of old school Smash that I internalized and came to love and I'm glad friendlies at tournies are still ran like that. King of the TV is an amazing way to do it, because if you want to train you have to be able to win, so it seems like it's not good for noobs, but it forces you to improve just to be able to learn. That's ruthless, it's awesome.
So I actually postponed my bus and left on Monday, missing another day of school haha.
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I came back and initially I wasn't that much better, but I had MAD stuff to work on. And I did work on all of it, and eventually leveled up. I wasn't getting destroyed anymore, and I could almost beat PikaPika! the best player in the region and also my rival at the time. (We hated each other, he thought I was just a dumb kid to stomp out, another scrub, and I thought he was a power hungry best player of the region)
Then Brawl came out though, and we're gonna skip about a year and half's worth of time, where I eventually got really good at Brawl, to the point where I won 11 tournies in a row in WNY, making PikaPika! take 2nd everytime, and even beating Chudat in tournament in Brawl. (He came back and stomped me though in loser's)
Anyways, I soon learned that Brawl, while fun and entertaining, didn't have what Melee had. That fire, that ridiculous depth and challenge. That DBZ like mindset, where no matter how good you were you were still so far away from your potential.
I went back to Melee, and started slowly getting better. I moved out of my house and began to dedicate myself 100% to Melee again. I worked at an inbound sales call center, which was kinda cool but hell at the same time. It was cool because your income is pretty much dependent on how much you sell, which to me was like Melee right? Like, you only get rewarded for how good you are. It was HARD AND GRUELING, and I was on the phones for 8-10 hours a day. I felt like a prisoner gladiator. Like, someone who was bound to his phone and could only go as far away from the phone as the cord was long, but at the same time, had the opportunity to make BANK. Just like Melee, you have to play by the rules of the game, but if you're good enough and willing to put in the work, you could be successful.
And successful I was, in fact, at the time I believe I was turning 19 and my apartment was costing me over 700 a month for my share, then I had food and other things to worry about. But since I was in sales, I could afford it.
Funny though, because while I was on the phones sweettalking potential customers into buying our services , I always had a notepad, and on it I would constantly jot down new things to practice in Melee when I got home. I came up with theories to test, drew diagrams of my character vs other characters. ANYTHING to get ahead and become unbeatable, and as soon as I got out of work, I'd walk the 45 minutes it took to get home, and sometimes before even changing, I'd turn on the Gamecube, take out my notes from my pocket, unfold them and begin to play. I wouldn't even eat unless I remembered. I was purely obsessed with Melee.
I didn't even know how I was going to become the best player, but I wanted it so bad.
Also, it was around htis time that I started to study success, and successful people. Everyone around me was in college and my grandma in Texas was always telling me I had to do something with my life. But I remember at this young, fragile point in my life, that I came to the conclusion that successful people ALWAYS follow their gut instinct, and pursue their own paths, despite what anyone says. Even if it seems crazy to everyone, just do it and figure it out as you go.
I started to get into business and networking with people, and had 2 business blunders and got cheated out of about 5-10 grand on my third. Not cheated, but I didn't get my money I should say. Valuable lessons learned, but still, throughout it all, Melee was there. And I was getting better, definitely, but it seemed like no matter how many tournies I attended in my region and even the ones I attended outside of my region, I couldn't play to my potential, and this is when I discovered I had a HUGE weakness in my game, and that was my consistency.
It literally BOGGLED me. I couldn't understand why despite my ridiculously rigorous training, when tournament time came I played like a nub. It was like my training was worthless, and it really really REALLY sucked, and to this day it still sucks and I still really struggle with it.
But AGAIN, NO JOHNS. No Johns was INGRAINED INTO ME by this point. I felt so weak and like the odds were so stacked against me, I was living in a region that sucked at Melee and for some reason wasn't inspired enough to become great at it, which is what I needed. I was still a boy, with little money, no car or license, no idea how the world works. All I knew was failed business moves with everyone around me laughing at me for trying, a messed up childhood, and a harsh world where I was barely surviving, but had a dream of being the best Melee player, even though I could never play as good as I really was in tournament. Through this all though, despite almost EVERYONE counting me out, seriously, EVERYONE, I looked at successful people and just modeled them. SCREW what anyone thinks, NO JOHNS, this HAS TO HAPPEN. Like, there's no other way for me to live.
Now it's interesting how much conviction I had in my dream, and how much mental fortitude I had at that age. See, other people were technically ahead of me at this point in the game of life. They had a car, were in school, etc., and I had nothing but a dream. But oddly enough, I and I was just starting to realize it at this point, me living a ridiculously hard life at a young age made me STRONG. Really strong, even though I didn't always feel like it, but at this point I knew that internally, there was something different about me than others. I mean, I always felt like that but it was always negative. This time, I felt there was something in me, some kind of greatness that needed to be unleashed, and I made the decision to travel to the West Coast and train for 2 months, over the summer.
Now, I didn't have the money when I made this decision. This was many months before I would leave. But I worked hard, stayed at the #1 position in ALL of Upstate New York for ATT internet sales, and made enough money to go, despite what everyone told me. No one wanted me to go because I had an apartment to take care of, but I knew that the lease was up and I'd have some time where I didn't have to pay rent. So I left for Arizona in June.
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Now this part of my life is so huge. I could spend 3x the amount writing about my Smash trip and all of my adventures, people met, skills learned, etc. I even stayed with Mango and the Socal Smash Crew for a week and a half, but I have a lot more to say so I'm only gonna touch on two parts of my trip.
First off was Forward, who let me stay at his house. I was actually kind of a **** to him, and trash talked him a lot and he actually got kinda angry with me. I didn't understand it at the time, I mean, I was just being me. But regardless, he put up with me, even trained me and I learned SO MUCH from him you wouldn't even begin to believe. But although I didn't realize it then, looking back on my time spent in AZ, I realize Forward was much farther ahead of me in terms of maturity level, and I learned a lot from him in retrospect about what it means to deal with people who look up to you, even if you don't necessarily like them. I learned a little bit about what being a man is all about, because Forward at the time was in school, worked a job, had a girlfriend and still managed to train with me even though it was clear he got annoyed with me many times. Mad grateful for this experience.
And lastly, I had a surreal experience where DJ Mirror asked me where I wanted to visit and I chose Newport Beach, because that was where my ex GF was from, who I was still very in love with at the time, and I just wanted to see where she came from, and it was amazing.
So many people met on that trip, so many things learned, but eventually it was back to reality as I ended my trip in Pennsylvania with less than forty dollars left, and Mow drove me back home in time for a Western New York tournament, where surprisingly to me I choked and almost lost, but then 4 stocked my old time rival, PikaPika! in Grand Finals.
Anyways, I had no job now. I went back to an old job I had when I was younger at Panera Bread, even though I quit that place because, one night I stayed up till the AM playing Melee, and I just couldn't go in due to being so tired, so I did a no call no show and got fired. They took me back though, and I'm still there today.
Things started to get a little more lighthearted, as my apartment had turned into a Smash headquarters, where I pretty much lived with all Smashers. I was still obsessed with improving, but I wanted to start being healthier. I tried maybe 4 times over the course of 6 months to try and change my eating habits and exercise daily, but it was just so hard to change. If you've ever tried to consciously change a certain aspect of your life, it's very hard and especially hard to stay consistent with it, but I knew that I couldn't slack on my potential, and just kept trying to implement different motivational methods for myself, basically anything to hit my health goals, and, I was still playing Melee.
Eventually though, last June, my time in my 2nd apartment was up. We found another apartment, this time much cheaper and nicer but in a much different location, and for a month I had to stay with my friend while we were transitioning.
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In this month I didn't play Melee at all, and I used this time to really think about my life a lot. This was a huge turning point for me. I made another huge decision, that I was going to do WHATEVER it takes to hit all of my goals and dreams. I'm going to work my tail off to have everything I want, no matter how hard it is, and I got right to it.
In this most recent chapter of my life, which is good for you guys because finally I'm getting close to winding this thing down haha, it started off very hard. So many challenges that had to be overcome, so much changing on my part.
The main thing that was so hard for me in this part of my life was putting Melee on the backburner. I had to switch my priorities around so I could focus on my LIFE. It was such a weird change, after 3 years going through so much but remaining dedicated to Melee.
Keep in mind too, although I am CONVINCED I'm sort of near the top echelon of skill in Melee, every OOS tournament I've been to I really haven't done THAT good. I placed top 10 at Zenith, but even then, that's not really PROVING yourself in this community. I've done some decent things here and there and my name has been thrown around once in a while, but this is all irrelevant in my mind. Despite the ridiculous changes in my life, I have COMPLETELY 100% INTERNALIZED the No Johns mindset. I live by it now, and when it comes to my life, it's worked wonders. In Melee though, in my mind, I'm still a nobody.
Until I've proven myself in tournaments and achieved my own personal goals in this game, everything elserrelevant. Doesn't matter if I know how good I am but no one else does. Doesn't matter that I had a messed up childhood and grew up poorer than dirt. Doesn't matter if I've gotten shatted on at every OOS tourney I've been to. Doesn't matter if I missed beating Hax in a money match because I messed up my Usmash as Fox when I clearly called his roll, and got kneed for it on livestream.
Doesn't matter if I believe I should have beaten Kage at Zenith. Doesn't matter if I don't have a car and can't train with who I know I need to be training with. Doesn't matter if I have some sort of mental block in tournament where I can't play to my potential. Doesn't matter if every controller I've bought comes defected and I have to always scramble looking for parts.
Doesn't matter if I've lost motivation for the game like so many others, which has happened to me at certain points. Doesn't matter if I have a million and 1 other things to worry about, stresses more than most people would ever want to deal with. Doesn't matter if I know there are mad people out there talking trash about me behind my back, or laughing at me when I lose to people I feel I shouldn't.
No matter what obstacle presents itself, no matter how badly the odds are stacked against me, not only in Melee, but in LIFE, I've learned something from this game that no one can ever take away from me, that makes everything that stands in my way to success absolutely irrelevant.
NO. MOTHER. *******. JOHNS. EVER. No matter HOW HARD it gets.
THIS people. This, is what it means to be a true Melee player. If you truly dedicate yourself to this game, and you weren't blessed with some naturally amazing skill or talent for the game where you fail to appreciate the work you put in, then you should understand what I'm talking about. And if you don't, then there is much work to be done, and you should really think about this post.
Because if it weren't for Melee and how hard it is to reach the top, I'd be just another lil girl, probably crying because I have barely anyone in this world, and the people I do have are too broke to do anything for me.
If it weren't for NO JOHNS and how much I've had to go through to reach my goals in Melee, then I would have succumbed to my lack of resources, as opposed to seeing that as an opportunity to develop MAXIMUM LEVELS OF RESOURCEFULNESS.
Don't have money to a gym? Doesn't matter, I'll get in better shape than ANYONE who has a gym membership (excluding the people that lift for a living or go to the gym as an extremely glorified body.) I only have a couple dumbbells and a barbell, but I've managed to get stronger and faster than most everyone I know unless they play a sport for a living or again, as a glorified hobby, and even then I can perform better than those people. My body fat is now at 11%, and I will be at my goal of 8-9% by the end of the month. I gave up soda a year ago, gave up fast food. 90% of my diet is now completely healthy, with the other 10% being foods high in sugar, unnecessary carbs and fat only to strategically allow myself that much knowing that that's how much I need to not crave that kind of food. I drink only water and sometimes juices.
Do you know how hard it was for me to make that transition? It took a year to reprogram myself and change my lifestyle. But you see, just like I made the decision to be a top Melee pro, when I was 18, I made this decision back last June, and NOTHING CAN STOP ME. Because of what I've been through in Melee. Because I've lost and failed so many times over and over, I'm used to it. I've learned to FAIL FORWARD.
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My boss offered me a promotion recently, out of many other people who have been working there much longer than me. A normal person would have taken it, especially because of the health care options.
But me? I have a destiny to forge. I have to be very careful about how I structure my life, I can't just jump at opportunities. Why?
Well, I finally got my license after failing twice. I bought a car for four grand and at the end of this next week, I'll be driving it on the road. Instead of taking my promotion, I'm going to get a second job during evenings. I'll be working 7-3 at Panera, come home, workout and shower, then head to my second job at around 5-6 P.M. That way, I can make the same amount of money even though I have to work more hours, BUT...I have my weekends open to travel for Smash tournaments.
It will be a rigorous week schedule, but at least I have now carved out the time and the mobility to keep pursuing my goal I set when I was 18.
I have a beautiful apartment, with a california king size bed, an amazing computer setup with surround sound, a 27 inch monitor, a wall mounted monitor, and everything in my room is customized to exactly the way I want it.
I have amazing friends, I'm better than I've ever been in Melee, I'm not in debt like a lot of people, and, most importantly of all...A decision I made a long time ago will be fully realized within the next 6 months to a year. I will have between 40-60 thousand dollars coming my way, and with the people I've set myself up with over the past few years combined with what I learned from failing in business on 3 separate occassions, I'm in a very good position to take that money and multiply it twenty fold.
This is all true btw. I wouldn't dream of posting anything that wasn't, and contrary to what many readers may think, I'm not posting this to brag at all. I think I used to brag too much back in the day, but not anymore.
I'm posting this because...I'm very convinced that no matter who you are or where you came from, unless your circumstances are REAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY bad, life doesn't have to be so hard. Really. You gotta be smart, develop yourself INTERNALLY. Yes, the stuff that most people laugh at if you were to tell them about it. The cheesy stuff that the masses laugh at.
You have to make a decision, as a human being on this earth, in today's day and age, to GO AFTER WHAT YOU WANT, and another decision to LEARN HOW THE WORLD WORKS ON YOUR OWN. Screw listening to people who want you to do things their way. Look at them and ask yourself, do you wanna be where they are at when you are their age? Chances are you won't, because you're a completely different person.
And if you want massive success, like starting a multi million dollar empire by the time you're in your early to mid thirties, with no college education and not even a proper high school education, and the only thing you learned in life was from a video game...Go for it. No Johns.
I'm also posting this right now on purpose, very consciously. To whoever this hits home with, if anyone at all, I feel it's important for me to get this out there before I have it all. While I'm young, and still gaining momentum in life. I want people to know my story while it's still unfolding, so you can look at my actions and see that it's not all talk. That anything is possible as long as you want it bad enough.
It doesn't need to be on a grand scale like my dreams are, and you don't have to strive to be perfect in every aspect of your life. What you need as an individual differs case to case, and I truly believe that. But if you're someone who has ever been interested in reaching the top levels of Melee, I say go for it. Start here, and learn. Internalize the process of becoming the best at something, anything. Melee's a great foundation because it's REALLY REALLY HARD to get amazing, and even when you get there, sure you are a celebrity in our small little community, but to the rest of the world YOU AIN'T ANYTHING!
In Street Fighter at least you're making a good amount of money, and if you play a sport at high school, at least you can go to college off of that, and teach it to other people for money. You get recognition doing other things....
But with Melee, you have to reach the top purely off of your own drive, and regardless of outsiders looking in, that is a NECESSARY QUALITY that most people in today's day and age lack. Most people aren't in control of their lives, most people don't have the courage to go one way while everyone else is going the other, and therefore, it can be argued that they aren't really living, and that's scary.
Some people who take a traditional route will end up marrying the first girl they see, having kids, get a 50-80K a year job and spend the next 30 years paying off their debts. They'll look happy from the outside, and maybe they will be. But only kinda happy. An ignorant kind of happy, the kind of happy that is only happy because they are forced to be satisfied with what came their way.
But with Melee, if you wanna reach the top you CAN'T be satisfied. There's no parents coming to watch your games and telling you "good job! You only scored once or twice, but we're proud of you!"
As good as that feels, that's creating weakness in you. That's your parents looking out for you, but really, they're teaching you to be satisfied with less than what you are truly capable of. What I once thought was a curse (Never having anyone to support me) turned out to be one of my greatest assets and strengths.
In high school if you weren't the cool kid and you got picked on, it might suck at the time, but eventually you get over it and move on. That's what we're TAUGHT. Just let it go...just let it go...
There's no letting it go in Melee. If I just let my inconsistency issues go, I'll never get to where I know I should be in this community. If I just ignored the fact that I mess up my sweetspots once every ten times, then I'll always lose that life on the tenth attempt at sweetspotting.
In Melee, it's ALL YOU. It's up to YOU to figure what info to listen to on the boards, it's up to YOU to figure out how you're going to travel so you can get in the training that you need, it's up to YOU to overcome your characters limitations.
Be happy that you're a Melee player, really. If you're a dedicated Melee player than use this as an opportunity to learn how to achieve, how to rise above everyone. Even if you're like me, and you've been playing since 07 and have barely made a dent in the national scene. Do whatever it takes, then go from there. Trust in yourself to figure things out, but if you are already a Melee player, or you are thinking about picking this game up, do NOT let other communities sway you, and do NOT buy into the strategies of other companies making their games soft, sugar coated and easy just to reach the masses, and make it more accessible to more people, so they can make more money.
All of my old rivals from WNY, that used to **** on me and trash talk me...Guess what. They're all horribly out of shape and will probably die 20-30 years earlier than me. They gave up on Melee when it got too hard and wanted to focus on other games, and sure they might play 4-5 other games at a semi competitive level, but they haven't really learned anything. I date hotter girls than them, make more money than them, have more friends than them, have nicer things now, and am in a much better position with my life, and enjoy it much more. I read their sad facebook statuses day in and day out, and it makes me sad. It really does make me sad because I know that their quality of life could be so much greater, but they never learned how to TAKE THEIR LIVES into their OWN HANDS, and to TAKE RISKS, and to KEEP GOING THROUGH HELL WHEN YOU'RE IN IT. As harsh as it seems, and as much as I actually genuinely like everyone that used to hate me, and I mean it, they should have stuck with Melee. Not to mention, I'm still the best in my region, just like I said I would be on those Arena boards way back when.
Take the Melee plunge. Become a Melee warrior. Play a game that's over ten years old just because you want to, just because you want the challenge of catching up to the pros that have been playing since 03 and 04. Your reward will be something that most people, not even people that play sports in high school, will never have. It's a personal fulfillment, it's an internal development that, if consciously paid attention to, will take you places that most people wouldn't even believe would be possible.
Take it from me, someone who started with less than nothing and is aiming for everything, and is on the path.
Wow. My hands hurt, I've been writing for 4 hours. I bet there's a lot I missed. I bet there's so much more that I'll want to edit in later, but I won't. I can't even fathom the responses I will be getting, but I'm confident that I made the right decision when posting this. Hopefully the people that I want to see it take something out of it.
Alright I'm outta here. Anyone in the NYC region that is up for training with me on the weekends (not every weekend, but definitely many) hit me up, message me. To anyone coming to my tournament in April, don't worry, I'm not NEARLY this intense IRL LOL. Can't wait to see you here
Yo what's good Smash community. So I've been kind of away from the scene for a while, but I wanted to write up a really important post to me. It's been on my mind for a while, and I think despite its cheesiness, many people will resonate with it and even those who think it's gay will probably at least find it interesting. I'm gonna try to compact it as much as I can, but it's probably gonna be really long anyways. It's gotta be though, to get the message across. If you're planning on reading though, don't let that discourage you. Instead, set aside time, because I guarantee you won't ever read anything this deep or meaningful on Smashboards. This post is coming from the heart, 100%, with no regard or thought to what anyone thinks about me or will think about this post, and in today's day and age, today's modern society where everyone is so worried about who they are and are so influenced by social conditioning, this is rare.
Before I start, while reading, I want you to keep the themes in mind, my main points. Those are, what it means to ME to be a dedicated Melee player, what the NO JOHNS philosophy has done for my life, and what it means to grow into a man.
Also, you gotta excuse my writing. I never really learned how to write, not even the basics really, so if it's really unorganized you know why. I tried my best though.
Iight, with that out of the way, if you're planning on reading, thanks in advance, and welcome to the life/story of JesiahTEG.
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EDIT: Actually, the writing's not so bad, but I have to warn you, this is MUCH LONGER than I thought. Just a warning.
To begin with, I've come a very long way since I came into this world. I had it hard growing up, really really hard. I was pretty much doomed to a life of drugs, alcohol, violence and just pure hopelesness. I didn't realize it at the time, since that type of environment was literally my life, and when you've grown up in a certain world, that IS reality to you.
I'm not just saying this either. Actually I've come so far and evolved so much as a person, that it actually takes me some time for me to sit down and remember where I came from, and feel it like I used to feel it. It's not fun, remembering all the messed up stuff I went through. My alcoholic, cocaine addicted mom, who leeched off of the government her whole life, and despite staying at home all day long and wasting away, never cleaned the house or even attempted to take care of it.
I had guinea pigs once, but we had to give them away because maggots started growing in their cage since my mom never changed it.
If she ran out of alcohol/drugs and didn't have any money to buy more and had no more loan sharks that trusted her enough to pay them back, then she'd drink mouthwash, or anything we had in the house.
Been in a foster home for 2 weeks, seen mad dudes doing my mom right in the living room over the course of my childhood. Took care of my 2 younger brothers when they were infants. Yeah, changing diapers, making their formula and putting it in a bottle so they could eat/nourish themselves. Been to jail twice, probation for three years. Not ***** jail either, real jail. 23 hours in, 1 hour out at the age of 16.
My dad died when I was 15, my brother Jordan died (who was 15 years old) when I was 18. Moved out of my house then and have been on my own ever since.
Didn't even really make it out of high school. I have a bootleg diploma, but that doesn't mean I earned it. I got kicked out of my school district in the beginning of 11th grade, and got sent to a ****** school, where every kid there got kicked out of their school either for violence, drugs, or being a dumb you know what. I was supposed to graduate in 07, but I got held back and at the end of the 08 year, when I was supposed to graduate a year later than originally, I didn't have enough work done to graduate. Luckily, my teachers at this dumb school really liked me so passed me anyways. (Yes, that means illegally)
There's a lot I could say, really. There was some good too, I had great friends, a great grandmother even though she moved away when I was young, and an amazing girlfriend(s). But, even though there was good, there was also more bad as well.
I'm not gonna spend more time typing it all out, but just to paint you a picture of my life at the time, think Eminem. (which is ironic considering how much I HATED Eminem back then) Really, not detail for detail at all, in fact I didn't even live in the hood after the age of 5 thanks to my grandpa, but anyone who is familiar with Eminem's story, that same sort of general life is where I was at up until I moved out of my condo. No control over my emotions, no regard for anything, including my future and my actions. I just didn't know any better. I went to a rich person school and everyone there seemed so foreign to me. I just thought they were so different from me, with their ipods and cars and good grades. It was hell to me, I just felt so looked down upon.
But luckily for me, on December 2nd of 2006, I made a decision that would not only give me my first taste of what it means to have direction in life, but I made a decision that would lead to me becoming better and better in every aspect of my life, and ultimate show me a destiny for me that I never even knew existed. That decision was to look on youtube to see what videos people posted about SSBM, since I had played it casually as a kid and I was just curious to see if anyone else played it like I did. (Which at the time, I thought I was the best of course)
At this point in my life, I had already been kicked out of my school district and was set to graduate from my ****** school at the end of the school year, but alas, I got held back for a year. So for the next few paragraphs you gotta remember I'm still in school, despite barely going or trying at all.
So eventually I found out about a local gaming center called Arena 51, where there were apparently some people that played Melee. Like a cocky nub, I started posting on their forums about how I was going to obliterate them all, and even though I didn't expect it back then, they all started attacking me, dissing me and hating me. This part of my life I remember so clearly. So excited to go to Arena 51 and shut these haters up. So I went eventually, and the first person I met was Kelvin, or Goodies, who was the main manager at Arena 51.
I'll never forget, it was 10:20 P.M., and it was a free for all on Hyrule Temple. I was Red Marth because I loved Ken, and Goodies was Blue Marth. We eventually beat the other two people, and were on the top right part of the stage with 2 lives a piece, just me and him. I had talked with Goodies on the forums and he was the ONLY person to be nice to me and encourage me to come out.
Right as we were about to battle it out, the TV turned off because the account holder's time ran out. OMG! How epic. All this trash talk and I was here, ready to face the enemy with 2 lives a piece, and the TV turns off. I couldn't believe it.
Kelvin used his magic unlimited hours account to turn the tv back on, and proceeded to obliterate me for the next few hours, and the I eventually got obliterated by everyone there. For months. Over, and over and over. Everyone that I **** talked, SWEARING that I was gonna beat them, just stomped me. 4 stock, 3 stock, day in day out. They would just laugh at me too. It was so painful, being looked down upon by my region.
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At this point, I became obsessed. Goodies began to live with me, and my schedule was as followed for 6-8 months: I'd go to school at 7AM, sleep through it all or skip it and chill with my friend John, go home at 3PM where Kelvin was at my place practicing Peach, and he would take us to Arena. I'd go there, sleep till 6PM, then wake up and practice Melee all night until I had to go to school in the morning. I pretty much lived off of Ramen Noodles, water and Bawls energy drinks.
I still got stomped out, but at this period of my life I learned how to do all of the advanced techniques at the time, and at least had a good idea of the general concepts of each matchup with Marth. I only played Marth, and loved Ken Combo hahaha. I was obsessed with it. I had girlfriends too at this time, which looking back I'm so grateful for their support because it was really all I had at the time besides Goodies.
Anyways, eventually I was so fed up with getting stomped by my region and trashtalked, that I decided to travel to Pennsylvania to train with UmbreonMow, since he came to Rochester once and I became friends with him. I thought Mow was so cool because he was a really good Smasher that actually talked to me on AIM, and even moreso, had faith in me, always, no matter what. I'd message him talking about how bad I wanted to be the best in my region and he'd always tell me I could do it, and to practice with music and use repitition and little small tips about Marth. A lot of my foundation as a player probably comes from Mow actually.
Travelling to PA was HUGE for me, because at the time everyone in my region was destroying me and making fun of me, and the reason why this was so significant for me was because it was my first time applying the "No Johns" mindset to my life. I would come up with so many reasons why I was taking so long to improve and everyone just said "No Johns." It was their answer to my complaining, and at the time it annoyed me but eventually I got so angry I just said "Fine, forget it then scrubs, no johns, I'm going to train."
I went to PA and stuff got real. (Btw, I took a Greyhound using the money I got from selling my PS1 games, and also left the country illegally since I was on probation and not allowed to leave the county. Oh and I also left on a Thursday when I had school.)
This Smashfest was SO CRAZY to me. It was this Smashfest that turned me into a "Melee Player." And I'll explain what I mean by "Melee Player" later, but it's much more than just someone that plays Melee.
Oh btw, at this point in my life, to me, the Melee world was starting to form in my head as a separate world that I desperately wanted to live in. It became an escape. I'm not saying this is the way you should think about it, cuz now that I'm older I realize that's not how you want to think about it, but at the time I didn't know better.
Scar was there before he got really good, so I met him and we chilled. There was a **** Falco named Reik who doesn't play anymore, but he was the most underrated Falco IMO at the time. He was beating M2K at least 50% of the time, and this was 07 when M2K was at the top. Falco vs Marth, on FD. He was really good, and he stomped me for hours.
I clearly remember having so much trouble learning not to tech towards the center of the stage after he dair'd me with Falco near the edge of the stage. He would just turn and Fsmash my tech and after like 3 hours of him trying to teach me to stop doing that, I still kept doing it and we would just pause and die laughing because I just couldn't stop.
It was so funny, but at the time I didn't realize that I had a REALLY big problem breaking habits, more than most people actually.
I watched Scar train with Reik and was very inspired. I played with The Cape, who rocked me with Red Sheik who he called "Blood Sheik," played against a guy who I think his name was El_Kamasutro? He played Green Marth and told me to "Utilt near the ledge over and over" with Marth, because mad people just run in and it leads to dair at the right percents. And he ***** me with that hahaha.
There was another player named Savedge, and Tope was there and he made me feel like **** because I wasn't good enough to play with the pros at the time hahahaha.
Anyways, that Smashfest really changed me. It was my first introduction to the community and I LOVED mostly everyone. There was also someone else that was so cool. He was Scar's friend and if I heard his name, I would remember, but I can't right now.
What REALLY inspired me though was M2K. I remember watching M2K DOMINATE this T.V., and people were lined up to practice vs him. He striked them down, one by one, for hours, and I remember thinking to myself, "That's gonna be me someday. I want people to line up to play vs me. I want to own the TV, I want to be the king of it."
And actually that's a part of old school Smash that I internalized and came to love and I'm glad friendlies at tournies are still ran like that. King of the TV is an amazing way to do it, because if you want to train you have to be able to win, so it seems like it's not good for noobs, but it forces you to improve just to be able to learn. That's ruthless, it's awesome.
So I actually postponed my bus and left on Monday, missing another day of school haha.
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I came back and initially I wasn't that much better, but I had MAD stuff to work on. And I did work on all of it, and eventually leveled up. I wasn't getting destroyed anymore, and I could almost beat PikaPika! the best player in the region and also my rival at the time. (We hated each other, he thought I was just a dumb kid to stomp out, another scrub, and I thought he was a power hungry best player of the region)
Then Brawl came out though, and we're gonna skip about a year and half's worth of time, where I eventually got really good at Brawl, to the point where I won 11 tournies in a row in WNY, making PikaPika! take 2nd everytime, and even beating Chudat in tournament in Brawl. (He came back and stomped me though in loser's)
Anyways, I soon learned that Brawl, while fun and entertaining, didn't have what Melee had. That fire, that ridiculous depth and challenge. That DBZ like mindset, where no matter how good you were you were still so far away from your potential.
I went back to Melee, and started slowly getting better. I moved out of my house and began to dedicate myself 100% to Melee again. I worked at an inbound sales call center, which was kinda cool but hell at the same time. It was cool because your income is pretty much dependent on how much you sell, which to me was like Melee right? Like, you only get rewarded for how good you are. It was HARD AND GRUELING, and I was on the phones for 8-10 hours a day. I felt like a prisoner gladiator. Like, someone who was bound to his phone and could only go as far away from the phone as the cord was long, but at the same time, had the opportunity to make BANK. Just like Melee, you have to play by the rules of the game, but if you're good enough and willing to put in the work, you could be successful.
And successful I was, in fact, at the time I believe I was turning 19 and my apartment was costing me over 700 a month for my share, then I had food and other things to worry about. But since I was in sales, I could afford it.
Funny though, because while I was on the phones sweettalking potential customers into buying our services , I always had a notepad, and on it I would constantly jot down new things to practice in Melee when I got home. I came up with theories to test, drew diagrams of my character vs other characters. ANYTHING to get ahead and become unbeatable, and as soon as I got out of work, I'd walk the 45 minutes it took to get home, and sometimes before even changing, I'd turn on the Gamecube, take out my notes from my pocket, unfold them and begin to play. I wouldn't even eat unless I remembered. I was purely obsessed with Melee.
I didn't even know how I was going to become the best player, but I wanted it so bad.
Also, it was around htis time that I started to study success, and successful people. Everyone around me was in college and my grandma in Texas was always telling me I had to do something with my life. But I remember at this young, fragile point in my life, that I came to the conclusion that successful people ALWAYS follow their gut instinct, and pursue their own paths, despite what anyone says. Even if it seems crazy to everyone, just do it and figure it out as you go.
I started to get into business and networking with people, and had 2 business blunders and got cheated out of about 5-10 grand on my third. Not cheated, but I didn't get my money I should say. Valuable lessons learned, but still, throughout it all, Melee was there. And I was getting better, definitely, but it seemed like no matter how many tournies I attended in my region and even the ones I attended outside of my region, I couldn't play to my potential, and this is when I discovered I had a HUGE weakness in my game, and that was my consistency.
It literally BOGGLED me. I couldn't understand why despite my ridiculously rigorous training, when tournament time came I played like a nub. It was like my training was worthless, and it really really REALLY sucked, and to this day it still sucks and I still really struggle with it.
But AGAIN, NO JOHNS. No Johns was INGRAINED INTO ME by this point. I felt so weak and like the odds were so stacked against me, I was living in a region that sucked at Melee and for some reason wasn't inspired enough to become great at it, which is what I needed. I was still a boy, with little money, no car or license, no idea how the world works. All I knew was failed business moves with everyone around me laughing at me for trying, a messed up childhood, and a harsh world where I was barely surviving, but had a dream of being the best Melee player, even though I could never play as good as I really was in tournament. Through this all though, despite almost EVERYONE counting me out, seriously, EVERYONE, I looked at successful people and just modeled them. SCREW what anyone thinks, NO JOHNS, this HAS TO HAPPEN. Like, there's no other way for me to live.
Now it's interesting how much conviction I had in my dream, and how much mental fortitude I had at that age. See, other people were technically ahead of me at this point in the game of life. They had a car, were in school, etc., and I had nothing but a dream. But oddly enough, I and I was just starting to realize it at this point, me living a ridiculously hard life at a young age made me STRONG. Really strong, even though I didn't always feel like it, but at this point I knew that internally, there was something different about me than others. I mean, I always felt like that but it was always negative. This time, I felt there was something in me, some kind of greatness that needed to be unleashed, and I made the decision to travel to the West Coast and train for 2 months, over the summer.
Now, I didn't have the money when I made this decision. This was many months before I would leave. But I worked hard, stayed at the #1 position in ALL of Upstate New York for ATT internet sales, and made enough money to go, despite what everyone told me. No one wanted me to go because I had an apartment to take care of, but I knew that the lease was up and I'd have some time where I didn't have to pay rent. So I left for Arizona in June.
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Now this part of my life is so huge. I could spend 3x the amount writing about my Smash trip and all of my adventures, people met, skills learned, etc. I even stayed with Mango and the Socal Smash Crew for a week and a half, but I have a lot more to say so I'm only gonna touch on two parts of my trip.
First off was Forward, who let me stay at his house. I was actually kind of a **** to him, and trash talked him a lot and he actually got kinda angry with me. I didn't understand it at the time, I mean, I was just being me. But regardless, he put up with me, even trained me and I learned SO MUCH from him you wouldn't even begin to believe. But although I didn't realize it then, looking back on my time spent in AZ, I realize Forward was much farther ahead of me in terms of maturity level, and I learned a lot from him in retrospect about what it means to deal with people who look up to you, even if you don't necessarily like them. I learned a little bit about what being a man is all about, because Forward at the time was in school, worked a job, had a girlfriend and still managed to train with me even though it was clear he got annoyed with me many times. Mad grateful for this experience.
And lastly, I had a surreal experience where DJ Mirror asked me where I wanted to visit and I chose Newport Beach, because that was where my ex GF was from, who I was still very in love with at the time, and I just wanted to see where she came from, and it was amazing.
So many people met on that trip, so many things learned, but eventually it was back to reality as I ended my trip in Pennsylvania with less than forty dollars left, and Mow drove me back home in time for a Western New York tournament, where surprisingly to me I choked and almost lost, but then 4 stocked my old time rival, PikaPika! in Grand Finals.
Anyways, I had no job now. I went back to an old job I had when I was younger at Panera Bread, even though I quit that place because, one night I stayed up till the AM playing Melee, and I just couldn't go in due to being so tired, so I did a no call no show and got fired. They took me back though, and I'm still there today.
Things started to get a little more lighthearted, as my apartment had turned into a Smash headquarters, where I pretty much lived with all Smashers. I was still obsessed with improving, but I wanted to start being healthier. I tried maybe 4 times over the course of 6 months to try and change my eating habits and exercise daily, but it was just so hard to change. If you've ever tried to consciously change a certain aspect of your life, it's very hard and especially hard to stay consistent with it, but I knew that I couldn't slack on my potential, and just kept trying to implement different motivational methods for myself, basically anything to hit my health goals, and, I was still playing Melee.
Eventually though, last June, my time in my 2nd apartment was up. We found another apartment, this time much cheaper and nicer but in a much different location, and for a month I had to stay with my friend while we were transitioning.
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In this month I didn't play Melee at all, and I used this time to really think about my life a lot. This was a huge turning point for me. I made another huge decision, that I was going to do WHATEVER it takes to hit all of my goals and dreams. I'm going to work my tail off to have everything I want, no matter how hard it is, and I got right to it.
In this most recent chapter of my life, which is good for you guys because finally I'm getting close to winding this thing down haha, it started off very hard. So many challenges that had to be overcome, so much changing on my part.
The main thing that was so hard for me in this part of my life was putting Melee on the backburner. I had to switch my priorities around so I could focus on my LIFE. It was such a weird change, after 3 years going through so much but remaining dedicated to Melee.
Keep in mind too, although I am CONVINCED I'm sort of near the top echelon of skill in Melee, every OOS tournament I've been to I really haven't done THAT good. I placed top 10 at Zenith, but even then, that's not really PROVING yourself in this community. I've done some decent things here and there and my name has been thrown around once in a while, but this is all irrelevant in my mind. Despite the ridiculous changes in my life, I have COMPLETELY 100% INTERNALIZED the No Johns mindset. I live by it now, and when it comes to my life, it's worked wonders. In Melee though, in my mind, I'm still a nobody.
Until I've proven myself in tournaments and achieved my own personal goals in this game, everything elserrelevant. Doesn't matter if I know how good I am but no one else does. Doesn't matter that I had a messed up childhood and grew up poorer than dirt. Doesn't matter if I've gotten shatted on at every OOS tourney I've been to. Doesn't matter if I missed beating Hax in a money match because I messed up my Usmash as Fox when I clearly called his roll, and got kneed for it on livestream.
Doesn't matter if I believe I should have beaten Kage at Zenith. Doesn't matter if I don't have a car and can't train with who I know I need to be training with. Doesn't matter if I have some sort of mental block in tournament where I can't play to my potential. Doesn't matter if every controller I've bought comes defected and I have to always scramble looking for parts.
Doesn't matter if I've lost motivation for the game like so many others, which has happened to me at certain points. Doesn't matter if I have a million and 1 other things to worry about, stresses more than most people would ever want to deal with. Doesn't matter if I know there are mad people out there talking trash about me behind my back, or laughing at me when I lose to people I feel I shouldn't.
No matter what obstacle presents itself, no matter how badly the odds are stacked against me, not only in Melee, but in LIFE, I've learned something from this game that no one can ever take away from me, that makes everything that stands in my way to success absolutely irrelevant.
NO. MOTHER. *******. JOHNS. EVER. No matter HOW HARD it gets.
THIS people. This, is what it means to be a true Melee player. If you truly dedicate yourself to this game, and you weren't blessed with some naturally amazing skill or talent for the game where you fail to appreciate the work you put in, then you should understand what I'm talking about. And if you don't, then there is much work to be done, and you should really think about this post.
Because if it weren't for Melee and how hard it is to reach the top, I'd be just another lil girl, probably crying because I have barely anyone in this world, and the people I do have are too broke to do anything for me.
If it weren't for NO JOHNS and how much I've had to go through to reach my goals in Melee, then I would have succumbed to my lack of resources, as opposed to seeing that as an opportunity to develop MAXIMUM LEVELS OF RESOURCEFULNESS.
Don't have money to a gym? Doesn't matter, I'll get in better shape than ANYONE who has a gym membership (excluding the people that lift for a living or go to the gym as an extremely glorified body.) I only have a couple dumbbells and a barbell, but I've managed to get stronger and faster than most everyone I know unless they play a sport for a living or again, as a glorified hobby, and even then I can perform better than those people. My body fat is now at 11%, and I will be at my goal of 8-9% by the end of the month. I gave up soda a year ago, gave up fast food. 90% of my diet is now completely healthy, with the other 10% being foods high in sugar, unnecessary carbs and fat only to strategically allow myself that much knowing that that's how much I need to not crave that kind of food. I drink only water and sometimes juices.
Do you know how hard it was for me to make that transition? It took a year to reprogram myself and change my lifestyle. But you see, just like I made the decision to be a top Melee pro, when I was 18, I made this decision back last June, and NOTHING CAN STOP ME. Because of what I've been through in Melee. Because I've lost and failed so many times over and over, I'm used to it. I've learned to FAIL FORWARD.
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My boss offered me a promotion recently, out of many other people who have been working there much longer than me. A normal person would have taken it, especially because of the health care options.
But me? I have a destiny to forge. I have to be very careful about how I structure my life, I can't just jump at opportunities. Why?
Well, I finally got my license after failing twice. I bought a car for four grand and at the end of this next week, I'll be driving it on the road. Instead of taking my promotion, I'm going to get a second job during evenings. I'll be working 7-3 at Panera, come home, workout and shower, then head to my second job at around 5-6 P.M. That way, I can make the same amount of money even though I have to work more hours, BUT...I have my weekends open to travel for Smash tournaments.
It will be a rigorous week schedule, but at least I have now carved out the time and the mobility to keep pursuing my goal I set when I was 18.
I have a beautiful apartment, with a california king size bed, an amazing computer setup with surround sound, a 27 inch monitor, a wall mounted monitor, and everything in my room is customized to exactly the way I want it.
I have amazing friends, I'm better than I've ever been in Melee, I'm not in debt like a lot of people, and, most importantly of all...A decision I made a long time ago will be fully realized within the next 6 months to a year. I will have between 40-60 thousand dollars coming my way, and with the people I've set myself up with over the past few years combined with what I learned from failing in business on 3 separate occassions, I'm in a very good position to take that money and multiply it twenty fold.
This is all true btw. I wouldn't dream of posting anything that wasn't, and contrary to what many readers may think, I'm not posting this to brag at all. I think I used to brag too much back in the day, but not anymore.
I'm posting this because...I'm very convinced that no matter who you are or where you came from, unless your circumstances are REAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY bad, life doesn't have to be so hard. Really. You gotta be smart, develop yourself INTERNALLY. Yes, the stuff that most people laugh at if you were to tell them about it. The cheesy stuff that the masses laugh at.
You have to make a decision, as a human being on this earth, in today's day and age, to GO AFTER WHAT YOU WANT, and another decision to LEARN HOW THE WORLD WORKS ON YOUR OWN. Screw listening to people who want you to do things their way. Look at them and ask yourself, do you wanna be where they are at when you are their age? Chances are you won't, because you're a completely different person.
And if you want massive success, like starting a multi million dollar empire by the time you're in your early to mid thirties, with no college education and not even a proper high school education, and the only thing you learned in life was from a video game...Go for it. No Johns.
I'm also posting this right now on purpose, very consciously. To whoever this hits home with, if anyone at all, I feel it's important for me to get this out there before I have it all. While I'm young, and still gaining momentum in life. I want people to know my story while it's still unfolding, so you can look at my actions and see that it's not all talk. That anything is possible as long as you want it bad enough.
It doesn't need to be on a grand scale like my dreams are, and you don't have to strive to be perfect in every aspect of your life. What you need as an individual differs case to case, and I truly believe that. But if you're someone who has ever been interested in reaching the top levels of Melee, I say go for it. Start here, and learn. Internalize the process of becoming the best at something, anything. Melee's a great foundation because it's REALLY REALLY HARD to get amazing, and even when you get there, sure you are a celebrity in our small little community, but to the rest of the world YOU AIN'T ANYTHING!
In Street Fighter at least you're making a good amount of money, and if you play a sport at high school, at least you can go to college off of that, and teach it to other people for money. You get recognition doing other things....
But with Melee, you have to reach the top purely off of your own drive, and regardless of outsiders looking in, that is a NECESSARY QUALITY that most people in today's day and age lack. Most people aren't in control of their lives, most people don't have the courage to go one way while everyone else is going the other, and therefore, it can be argued that they aren't really living, and that's scary.
Some people who take a traditional route will end up marrying the first girl they see, having kids, get a 50-80K a year job and spend the next 30 years paying off their debts. They'll look happy from the outside, and maybe they will be. But only kinda happy. An ignorant kind of happy, the kind of happy that is only happy because they are forced to be satisfied with what came their way.
But with Melee, if you wanna reach the top you CAN'T be satisfied. There's no parents coming to watch your games and telling you "good job! You only scored once or twice, but we're proud of you!"
As good as that feels, that's creating weakness in you. That's your parents looking out for you, but really, they're teaching you to be satisfied with less than what you are truly capable of. What I once thought was a curse (Never having anyone to support me) turned out to be one of my greatest assets and strengths.
In high school if you weren't the cool kid and you got picked on, it might suck at the time, but eventually you get over it and move on. That's what we're TAUGHT. Just let it go...just let it go...
There's no letting it go in Melee. If I just let my inconsistency issues go, I'll never get to where I know I should be in this community. If I just ignored the fact that I mess up my sweetspots once every ten times, then I'll always lose that life on the tenth attempt at sweetspotting.
In Melee, it's ALL YOU. It's up to YOU to figure what info to listen to on the boards, it's up to YOU to figure out how you're going to travel so you can get in the training that you need, it's up to YOU to overcome your characters limitations.
Be happy that you're a Melee player, really. If you're a dedicated Melee player than use this as an opportunity to learn how to achieve, how to rise above everyone. Even if you're like me, and you've been playing since 07 and have barely made a dent in the national scene. Do whatever it takes, then go from there. Trust in yourself to figure things out, but if you are already a Melee player, or you are thinking about picking this game up, do NOT let other communities sway you, and do NOT buy into the strategies of other companies making their games soft, sugar coated and easy just to reach the masses, and make it more accessible to more people, so they can make more money.
All of my old rivals from WNY, that used to **** on me and trash talk me...Guess what. They're all horribly out of shape and will probably die 20-30 years earlier than me. They gave up on Melee when it got too hard and wanted to focus on other games, and sure they might play 4-5 other games at a semi competitive level, but they haven't really learned anything. I date hotter girls than them, make more money than them, have more friends than them, have nicer things now, and am in a much better position with my life, and enjoy it much more. I read their sad facebook statuses day in and day out, and it makes me sad. It really does make me sad because I know that their quality of life could be so much greater, but they never learned how to TAKE THEIR LIVES into their OWN HANDS, and to TAKE RISKS, and to KEEP GOING THROUGH HELL WHEN YOU'RE IN IT. As harsh as it seems, and as much as I actually genuinely like everyone that used to hate me, and I mean it, they should have stuck with Melee. Not to mention, I'm still the best in my region, just like I said I would be on those Arena boards way back when.
Take the Melee plunge. Become a Melee warrior. Play a game that's over ten years old just because you want to, just because you want the challenge of catching up to the pros that have been playing since 03 and 04. Your reward will be something that most people, not even people that play sports in high school, will never have. It's a personal fulfillment, it's an internal development that, if consciously paid attention to, will take you places that most people wouldn't even believe would be possible.
Take it from me, someone who started with less than nothing and is aiming for everything, and is on the path.
Wow. My hands hurt, I've been writing for 4 hours. I bet there's a lot I missed. I bet there's so much more that I'll want to edit in later, but I won't. I can't even fathom the responses I will be getting, but I'm confident that I made the right decision when posting this. Hopefully the people that I want to see it take something out of it.
Alright I'm outta here. Anyone in the NYC region that is up for training with me on the weekends (not every weekend, but definitely many) hit me up, message me. To anyone coming to my tournament in April, don't worry, I'm not NEARLY this intense IRL LOL. Can't wait to see you here
