What is this- mindless paranoia or the shattering of my very world?

[Chris Lionheart]

Link to original post: [drupal=3056]What is this- mindless paranoia or the shattering of my very world?[/drupal]



What constitutes happiness? Riches, fame, glory, and power? No... the foundation of happiness is found in your friendships. Nothing is more true to me. Unfortunately, sometimes even the most inseperable of friends can be locked in conflict.

My entire life, I had been teetering on the brink of despair and depression, because I had not one true friend to give me a reason for happiness... but that changed in the 7th grade, when I gained two great friends, Travis and Karen, who are siblings. I am a senior in high school, and my bonds with them have only strengthened so far as I can tell.

But what went wrong? What could move Travis to hold such sudden contempt for me? What could have caused him to defriend me from Facebook last Friday without any warning and hold a cold, uncaring indifference for me ever since? He claims that I have insulted and been a general ***hole to him, but I recall no such offense. I have only ever been a dedicated friend. I have helped him through the toughest of classes and held his whole family in the highest regard. To be honest, I've always aspired to be as great as I consider to them to be.... and yet he refuses to tell me what his problem is. How can I fix that which I can't comprehend?

He even wants Karen to join him in this. I trust that girl very deeply. In my opinion, she embodies every quality I'ld like to have: an intelligence much greater than my own, a kind heart, and more. But is her bond to her brother strong enough to listen to his call?... I would pray it be not so.


I.... just plain don't know what is going on... but I can't stand the thought of it. The very idea of losing one of them is unbearable, but both of them? My world would collaspe upon itself and I would be alone and depressed once again. I would do anything and make any sacrifice to prevent that from happening... but I just plain don't know what to do.

 

[Chronodiver Lokii]

Try talking to him. It's probably one big misunderstanding
If you 3 are that close of friends, then im sure everything will work out. :3
Good luck!

 

[Chris Lionheart]

Try talking to him. It's probably one big misunderstanding
If you 3 are that close of friends, then im sure everything will work out. :3
Good luck!

I've tried talking to him, but he refuses to listen to reason and refuses to tell me what I've done wrong.

 

[_Keno_]

Have you tried talking to Karen about what Travis feels? She may be the key to solving the problem, or at least finding the problem.

 

[Chris Lionheart]

Have you tried talking to Karen about what Travis feels? She may be the key to solving the problem, or at least finding the problem.

That's what I've been trying to do, but I have not had the opportunity to do so. I messaged her about it. No reply... makes me wonder if it was even read yet. Regardless, I'm not going to try predicting her position just by that. My faith is with her, and there it will stay (because really, where else can I put it in this situation?)

 

[_Keno_]

That's what I've been trying to do, but I have not had the opportunity to do so. I messaged her about it. No reply... makes me wonder if it was even read yet. Regardless, I'm not going to try predicting her position just by that. My faith is with her, and there it will stay (because really, where else can I put it in this situation?)

Don't send her messages, that will only make her uncomfortable about the situation. You need to confront her face to face. Don't like stalk her though. Just next time you see her, ask her to step aside and privately have a word (if she is with friends).

Also, are you in high school, college, job, or what? Makes it easier to give advice.

 

[Chris Lionheart]

High school.

And you'ld be surprised how few one-on-one face-to-face opportunities you have with a girl who goes to a different school than you for every class but band, especially when her brother has every intention of standing in your way.

 

[Dru2]

Try talking to their parents. They'll be sure to see why this Travis person wont say anything about it.

 

[_Keno_]

High school.

And you'ld be surprised how few one-on-one face-to-face opportunities you have with a girl who goes to a different school than you for every class but band, especially when her brother has every intention of standing in your way.

Don't let the brother decide when or when not you can talk to her. It is not his decision. If you don't see her before or after band, ask her during practice if she would talk to you afterwards.

And yeah, parents can be another option. However, very few parents know anything about the personal lives of their children.

 

[Chris Lionheart]

Don't let the brother decide when or when not you can talk to her. It is not his decision. If you don't see her before or after band, ask her during practice if she would talk to you afterwards.

And yeah, parents can be another option. However, very few parents know anything about the personal lives of their children.

Guess that may be the only thing that can be done about that...


Also, the parents are a last resort option in my opinion.

 

[Dru2]

@CHEAP PEACH well yes but parents can control what u can and can't do. So if u oppose their commands, they can make u give in, by punishment usually.

 

[Chris Lionheart]

@CHEAP PEACH well yes but parents can control what u can and can't do. So if u oppose their commands, they can make u give in, by punishment usually.

But this isn't what I want, which is why it's my last resort at best.

I don't want to force the problem to be "solved".... all that will lead to is long-term problems... I want to handle it myself, that I may even end up strengthening the bonds between us.

 

[_Keno_]

@CHEAP PEACH well yes but parents can control what u can and can't do. So if u oppose their commands, they can make u give in, by punishment usually.

You misunderstand, I was referring to Travis, not Chris' parents.

And its good that you see that this type of problem can not be "fixed," as a bike or car would. Some people just don't get it.

 

[Pelikinesis]

I don't suppose you know any of their other friends who can bring a different perspective on what happened, do you?

I mean, sitting around and trying to analyze recent events until you get your epiphany COULD work, but if that ever works it usually takes a while. If those two aren't talking to you, maybe you should try finding someone who knows the situation who will talk.

 

[Chris Lionheart]

I don't suppose you know any of their other friends who can bring a different perspective on what happened, do you?

I mean, sitting around and trying to analyze recent events until you get your epiphany COULD work, but if that ever works it usually takes a while. If those two aren't talking to you, maybe you should try finding someone who knows the situation who will talk.

The only other friend I'm aware of who also knows about this situation is a neutral/mutual friend. He probably sees things my way, but he, like me, has no idea what the Hell is going on....

 

[Pelikinesis]

That's unfortunate.

Well, don't beat yourself up too much over this. Maybe you did something horrifically wrong, and your ignorance of it makes it even more infuriating. But even if that's the case, Travis is the one actively keeping any hope of reconciliation from taking place.

Friendship works both ways. You can only do so much to resolve the situation. If Travis doesn't do his part then you shouldn't worry about losing a great friend; by refusing to clear the air, he wouldn't qualify as a great friend at this point.

 

[El Nino]

My advice:

Back off, let him cool down, and talk to him later. Right now, he's probably still angry and doesn't want to talk to you. When people get fired up on something, the most annoying thing is someone else pestering them for answers. That might make them want to punish this person even more. After a while, the anger fades, and they can talk about it again. Unless you did something really bad, he'll probably wake up and realize that it was a big deal over nothing.

/two cents

 

[Hyper_Ridley]

The fact that you're trying to make amends even when you don't know what you did "wrong" should be enough proof of your loyalty to Travis. If he values the relationship you two have shared he'll be willing to meet you half-way.

On that note, I echo what El Nino said. Maybe he overreacted to something and just needs time to calm down and start thinking rationally about the situation. Sometimes simply not seeing the person you're mad at for a few days is all it takes. As for Karen, unless she's started acting really off towards you when you see each other at band practice I'd say she's still neutral at least.

 

[Chris Lionheart]

It turns out that Travis is oddly more reasonable when he is tired. Apparently thanks to an extreme lack of sleep last night, he came to his senses of his own accord and offered a rational solution. It was an easy problem to fix when I actually knew what it was, and man was he overreacting to a small thing. Oh well, I'm not complaining. Hopefully, this will be the end of it.

/missioncomprete