The Twilight Series by Stephanie meyer

[Puddin]

I could right much gooder then stephenie meyers

 

[Pr0phetic]

I don't see why people fiend over this book? its ok at best, just like the movie.

 

[Crimson King]

It's the fact that IT is popular, while far better literature is not. Read any book by F. Paul Wilson. Amazing writer who knows what he is doing, but he is niché at best.

 

[Symphony X]

I don't see why people fiend over this book? its ok at best, just like the movie.

Because it hurt me deep inside, and I feel the need to trash it on the internet for all web-friendly smashers who visit the Media Metropolis to see.

 

[Mardyke]

I could right much gooder then stephenie meyers

I think you meant to say "better", but I might be mistaken.
EDIT: Never mind.

The hilarious comic by Head Trip was the first I'd heard of Twilight, ever. So I'm glad I heard from the right source first.

 

[Darkslash]

I think you meant to say "better", but I might be mistaken.

Sarcasm, comrade!
I hope

Does any one know what to do when a Twilight horde comes? I'm not armed with any thing except my wits. Any one know good counter points?

 

[Crimson King]

I think you meant to say "better", but I might be mistaken.

The hilarious comic by Head Trip was the first I'd heard of Twilight, ever. So I'm glad I heard from the right source first.

Read the whole topic first. It's called a joke.

 

[smashbot226]

Sarcasm, comrade!
I hope

Does any one know what to do when a Twilight horde comes? I'm not armed with any thing except my wits. Any one know good counter points?

Print out the following and paste it to your least favorite shirt:

Breaking Dawn has received generally negative reviews. Publisher's Weekly stated that the

main problem was that "Essentially, everyone gets everything they want, even if their

desires necessitate an about-face in characterization or the messy introduction of some

back story. Nobody has to renounce anything or suffer more than temporarily--in other

words, grandeur is out." In an article by The Associated Press journalist Sara Rose

posted on NewsOK.com wrote that fans of the series would love "engaging characters,

great humor, a distracting obsession with beauty, focus on the minutiae of emotions",

however "casual readers may be disappointed with a lot of build-up and little action."

Entertainment Weekly graded Breaking Dawn with a D, criticizing the birth scene and Bella's

"unwavering passion for Edward" and having no other goals. Denise Martin of the Los

Angeles Times wrote that "Stephenie Meyer is no J.K. Rowling" and that in the "final

chapters, in which both authors really swung for the epic, Meyer’s bunted." The

Washington Post also responded with a negative review, making comments such as,

"...Meyer has put a stake through the heart of her own beloved creation," and, "Breaking

Dawn has a childbirth sequence that may promote lifelong abstinence in sensitive

types." However, an article in The Daily News Tribune, a small town newspaper,

Margaret Smith says of Breaking Dawn "You too might fall in love with its suspense and

moving sensitivity -- and with the unlikely couple struggling to find light within their world’s

heart of darkness."

In an interview with Entertainment Weekly, Meyer responded to the negative response of

many fans to the book and called it the "Rob Effect"; she believes that the fans need time to

accept the ending of Breaking Dawn, just as they needed time to accept Robert Pattinson

playing the role of Edward in the Twilight movie.

 

[Mardyke]

Read the whole topic first. It's called a joke.

I had read the whole topic. It was a very nice read too.

Spoiler

I know, my bad for not getting the joke. Silly me.

It's times like these when going to an all-boy's school has its advantages; the worst I've heard of it is a friend describing how he has to take his girlfriend to see the film.

Though I heard the books supported a male-dominated relationship from that same friend. How much of this is true in the books themselves, in your opinions?

 

[zrky]

I find it ironic that while I was viewing this topic as a visitor both advertisements were about twilight.

darkslash, all you can do is out wit them because you know they won't understand you since they are just thinking about edward as they talk about it to you.

would there be the same problem if Jasper was in place of edward?

 

[RDK]

Hate to bring this a little off-topic, but has anybody seen Francis Ford Coppola's film Bram Stoker's Dracula? Is that any good? I loved Apocalypse Now!, the Conversation, Godfather and Godfather Part II, but after that, his works dropped greatly in quality, so I'm worried about seeing it, but then again, it has Gary Oldman as Count Dracula who has delivered spectacular performances. Then again, he also played Sid Vicious in Sid and Nancy.

Should I pick it up?

Make sure you read the book first.

As far as Coppola, I love him for the Godfather, but for some reason after watching his take on Dracula I was left with an odd love-hate feeling towards the movie. There are parts about the movie that I can appreciate (Oldman and Hopkins are amazing actors and their ability shines through), but it's obvious he took some creative liberty with the film, and even the central storyline has changed drastically (instead of it about being a group of people getting revenge on an evil monster for killing one of them, it's a tragedy about how Dracula is ultimately foiled in regaining his long lost love).

Like I said, it's definetely the best adaptation of the book in my opinion, but after watching it I wanted to kill myself after hearing Keanu Reeves' butcher an English accent. WTF was Coppola thinking.

Print out the following and paste it to your least favorite shirt:

I find it hilarious that the article cites "She's no JK Rowling," as if Rowling is even a decent author. Ugh.

 

[Waluigi911]

Smashbot's post hurts my eyes.

If I were you, Mardyke, I wouldn't take many opinions here to heart. The purpose of the book is to be simply a chick book. I think I saw the words "Meyer is no J. K. Rowling" somewhere... Duh. She's not writing the same kind of books, why would she be?

I'm frankly not planning on reading this book 'cause I'm not into romance books. However, if you are, then you may or may not like this. Depends on how you take different interpretations of vampires.

My opinion is that many here are bashing it because they were expecting a story about vampires, and discovered it was a romance book... of course, the majority of Smashers are males, so it stands to reason that most members here would not like this book...

 

[RDK]

Smashbot's post hurts my eyes.

If I were you, Mardyke, I wouldn't take many opinions here to heart. The purpose of the book is to be simply a chick book. I think I saw the words "Meyer is no J. K. Rowling" somewhere... Duh. She's not writing the same kind of books, why would she be?

I'm frankly not planning on reading this book 'cause I'm not into romance books. However, if you are, then you may or may not like this. Depends on how you take different interpretations of vampires.

My opinion is that many here are bashing it because they were expecting a story about vampires, and discovered it was a romance book... of course, the majority of Smashers are males, so it stands to reason that most members here would not like this book...

I don't dislike it because it's a romance story, I dislike it because it sucks.

 

[Waluigi911]

I'll take your word for it.

 

[Symphony X]

My opinion is that many here are bashing it because they were expecting a story about vampires, and discovered it was a romance book... of course, the majority of Smashers are males, so it stands to reason that most members here would not like this book...

That's not at all why I don't like it. I dislike it because it steals teenage girls' souls. I have to associate with said girls.

 

[zrky]

I liked it but then when my friend (skyler on here) started to point out it's flaws I realized it WAS bad writing, and im not against it for being romance, if I enjoyed reading Gone With The Wind, but yeah the fangirls are TERRIFYING!

 

[Crimson King]

I read this and laughed hard. It's off Wiki so a fan probably wrote it, as in it's not made to look bad:

Twilight

In Twilight, Edward meets Bella Swan, a human girl whose thoughts he is unable to read, and whose blood smells overwhelmingly sweet to him.[2] He fights a growing attraction to her, but after saving her life on several occasions, succumbs and eventually falls in love with her. Edward admits to Bella that he is a vampire, and that although he retains the physical body of a seventeen-year-old, he was actually born on June 20, 1901. His adoptive father, Carlisle Cullen, transformed him into a vampire in 1918 to prevent him from dying in the Spanish influenza epidemic in Chicago, Illinois. Carlisle instilled in him a sense of morality uncommon in most vampires, and central to his way of life is the refusal to consider humans as food.

However, Edward constantly warns Bella against being with him, perceiving her life to be at risk if she continues to associate with him. Bella's love and confidence in Edward's restraint cause her to ignore his warnings, even after she becomes the target of another vampire, James. Unlike the Cullen family, who are "vegetarian" vampires (committed to only feeding on animals), James regularly feeds on humans and will not stop until he drinks Bella's blood. With his family's help, Edward is able to save Bella from James' predations, but the question of how to assure Bella's continued safety remains an open one.[3]

New Moon

In New Moon, Edward’s fears for Bella’s safety intensify when she cuts her finger and is almost attacked by his brother Jasper. In an attempt to protect her, he convinces her that he no longer loves her, and moves away with his family, leaving Bella heartbroken. Edward finds it difficult to live without Bella, and becomes severely depressed at the prospect of an infinitely long and meaningless life. After he mistakenly learns from his sister Rosalie that Bella has committed suicide, Edward attempts to convince a group of Italian vampires, the Volturi, to kill him. Together with his sister Alice, Bella rushes to Italy and stops Edward before the Volturi can destroy him.

Edward explains why he left, and apologizes to Bella. She eventually forgives him entirely, and they continue with their relationship as though Edward had never left, with the exception that Bella has ties that cannot be broken with a werewolf named Jacob Black. Bella successfully seeks his family’s support on turning her into a vampire. While Edward is furious at the prospect, he later agrees to change her himself if she agrees to marry him first.[4]

Eclipse

In Eclipse, Bella agrees to marry Edward on the condition he will make love to her while she is still human. Edward eventually relents and agrees, on the stipulation it will only occur after they are married. The plot is driven by the machinations of the vampire Victoria, who, seeking revenge for the death of her mate James, is hunting Bella and creating new vampires to build an army. A grudging truce is made between the Cullens and the Native-American werewolf pack led by Sam Uley and Jacob Black, a friend of Bella's who was there for her when Edward broke her heart. However, the truce is endangered when Bella realizes Jacob means more to her than she thought. Ultimately, Edward accepts that Bella cares for Jacob and successfully destroys Victoria, and Bella acknowledges that Edward is the most important person in her life. Edward tells Bella that they may attempt making love before they get married, as he realizes that she spends too much of her life trying to please other people. However, she refuses his offer and says that she will do everything the right way: marriage, making love, and then becoming a vampire.[5]

Breaking Dawn

Breaking Dawn sees Edward and Bella marry. Bella becomes pregnant on their honeymoon, and the rapid growth of the half-human, half-vampire fetus swiftly impacts on Bella’s health. Edward tries to coerce her into having an abortion in order to save her own life. However, Bella feels a bond with her unborn child and insists on giving birth. Edward comes to feel love for the baby as well, after he hears its thoughts and learns that the baby loves Bella in return. Bella nearly dies giving birth in an emergency c-section, but Edward successfully delivers his daughter and then injects Bella's heart with his venom, healing her wounds by turning her into an immortal vampire. During Bella's painful transformation, Jacob imprints on their baby daughter, Renesmee.

After a vampire named Irina mistakes Renesmee for an immortal vampire child—a creation forbidden in the vampire world—the Volturi arrive to destroy the Cullens. Edward stands with Bella and their allies to convince the Volturi that Renesmee is not an immortal child and poses no threat to their existence. Once the Volturi leave, Edward and Bella feel free to live their lives in peace with their daughter.[6]

I love how the last book ends with no real conflict.

 

[Puddin]

"Breaking Dawn

Breaking Dawn sees Edward and Bella marry. Bella becomes pregnant on their honeymoon, and the rapid growth of the half-human, half-vampire fetus swiftly impacts on Bella’s health. Edward tries to coerce her into having an abortion in order to save her own life. However, Bella feels a bond with her unborn child and insists on giving birth. Edward comes to feel love for the baby as well, after he hears its thoughts and learns that the baby loves Bella in return. Bella nearly dies giving birth in an emergency c-section, but Edward successfully delivers his daughter and then injects Bella's heart with his venom, healing her wounds by turning her into an immortal vampire. During Bella's painful transformation, Jacob imprints on their baby daughter, Renesmee.

After a vampire named Irina mistakes Renesmee for an immortal vampire child—a creation forbidden in the vampire world—the Volturi arrive to destroy the Cullens. Edward stands with Bella and their allies to convince the Volturi that Renesmee is not an immortal child and poses no threat to their existence. Once the Volturi leave, Edward and Bella feel free to live their lives in peace with their daughter.[6]"



Makes perfect sense.

No no wait, what the ****?! Every sentence had some unexpected twist or turn that ended in "Edward solves it" Stephenie Meyer can't think of a decent conflict and resolution!


"Eclipse

The plot is driven by the machinations of the vampire Victoria, who, seeking revenge for the death of her mate James, is hunting Bella and creating new vampires to build an army. A grudging truce is made between the Cullens and the Native-American werewolf pack led by Sam Uley and Jacob Black, a friend of Bella's who was there for her when Edward broke her heart"

The description is worse then the books themselves. "Who, seeking revenge for the death of her mate"

Mate as in, buddy? Or Mate as in Butt Buddy? Either way it sounds stupid.

" a friend of Bella's who was there for her when Edward broke her heart""

Do I need to say anything?

 

[Darkslash]

"Eclipse

The plot is driven by the machinations of the vampire Victoria, who, seeking revenge for the death of her mate James, is hunting Bella and creating new vampires to build an army. A grudging truce is made between the Cullens and the Native-American werewolf pack led by Sam Uley and Jacob Black, a friend of Bella's who was there for her when Edward broke her heart"

Okay stop right there. Mate?!?!??! For a "romance" story, Myers sure knows when to use the word for a temporary partner just to give offspring.

 

[Puddin]

Okay stop right there. Mate?!?!??! For a "romance" story, Myers sure knows when to use the word for a temporary partner just to give offspring.

I had assumed it meant her friend. Either way Stephenie Meyer needs a thesaurus.

It seems our rage has subsided, for now...

 

[choknater]

They use the word "mate" because that's the term Meyer uses in the novels. It's because they are creatures, not humans. You guys are so quick to judge without reading the actual books. I still think they suck, but you guys are really attacking random things for the sake of attacking Twilight.

 

[Puddin]

They use the word "mate" because that's the term Meyer uses in the novels. It's because they are creatures, not humans. You guys are so quick to judge without reading the actual books. I still think they suck, but you guys are really attacking random things for the sake of attacking Twilight.

Well...we kinnda need this, it's like therapy for us.

 

[choknater]

Taking out your anger... on something that sucks... even if you don't know anything about it...

Hahah, I guess it makes sense. It's just a book.

As long as it's not a race or demographic of people, that kind of "therapy" is A-ok.

 

[RDK]

Taking out your anger... on something that sucks... even if you don't know anything about it...

Hahah, I guess it makes sense. It's just a book.

As long as it's not a race or demographic of people, that kind of "therapy" is A-ok.

What about Jews?

Spoiler

/SARCASM

 

[Waluigi911]

However, she refuses his offer and says that she will do everything the right way: marriage, making love, and then becoming a vampire.

Heh heh heh. A model all girls should follow.

 

[Symphony X]

You know what pisses me off? My ex-girlfriend actually told me straight up she wanted me to be a vampire because then I'd be sexier. This book is the reason we broke up. It can burn in hell.

And that writing is terrible too.

 

[Puddin]

twilight, ruining relationships for all the right reasons.

 

[Symphony X]

Right reasons?

 

[Thrillhouse-vh.]

Breaking up with delusional teenage girls?

 

[Puddin]

Right reasons?

Yes, I mean if my girlfriend wished I was a vampire just because she thought I wasn't sexy enough I might be a bit upset.

 

[Darkslash]

You know what pisses me off? My ex-girlfriend actually told me straight up she wanted me to be a vampire because then I'd be sexier. This book is the reason we broke up. It can burn in hell.

Wow wut? Some girls these days got no sense of a moral compass huh?

 

[choknater]

er, was she being serious though? IMO i'd let a comment like that slide

cuz i know i am sexy

 

[Symphony X]

Augh. All the negative comments about her can stop right now. She was serious when she said I'd be sexier as a vampire, and I did let that go. I'm an easy going guy. That just goes to show you how much worse this book made her. It felled a strong two year relationship. It's powers are endless.

 

[LadyKirbess]

Personally, I enjoyed the books and movie but I would never wish for my boyfriend to be a vampire, werewolf, or whatever else there is except human. Also, I find it very amusing to hear the negative comments about Twilight; idk why, I just do. I do think that some teenage girls take this story too seriously and need to tone it down, its just a story and nothing more. Stop expecting people to live up to your highly fantasized (false) expectations (this goes for some guys too). No offense to anyone, just making light of the discussion

 

[Crimson King]

Personally, I enjoyed the books and movie but I would never wish for my boyfriend to be a vampire, werewolf, or whatever else there is except human. Also, I find it very amusing to hear the negative comments about Twilight; idk why, I just do. I do think that some teenage girls take this story too seriously and need to tone it down, its just a story and nothing more. Stop expecting people to live up to your highly fantasized (false) expectations (this goes for some guys too). No offense to anyone, just making light of the discussion

That's because you are normal.

 

[The Mano Games VII]

Actually, that's what I call common sense. I'm frankly stunned that there are actually people foolish enough to take the events in Twilight and actually expect things to happen just like they did there. It's just crazy, I cannot effin believe people could actually do that, it's just absolutely insane....

 

[SkylerOcon]

We can't be done making fun of Twilight yet!

http://www.cracked.com/article_16878_if-twilight-was-10-time-shorter-100-times-more-honest.html

 

[RDK]

I didn't think that the pussification of vampires to this magnitude was even possible. What a wretched piece of ******** literature. No surprise that it was made into a wretched movie. I can only hope that some of the cast has a decent career after this piece of s**t. Stephanie Meyer needs to be beaten, and have her kneecaps broken by an angry bookie's henchman.

^ LMFAO. Disgruntled.

 

[RedPeppers]

We can't be done making fun of Twilight yet!

http://www.cracked.com/article_16878_if-twilight-was-10-time-shorter-100-times-more-honest.html

OH MAN!!! I almost TL;DRed when I saw the size of that, but it was sooo funny! It really did the series justice.

 

[Symphony X]

Twilight. The great American teenage angst inducer.