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Tear list by Airborn Coffe table

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Nazzul

Nazzul

Smash Rookie
Joined
Oct 19, 2007
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13
This is a copy and paste of a tear list by a gamfaq user.


Well, we knew that there would be a Tear list eventually. All of the characters -- and perhaps all of us, too -- go through emotional hardships at times.This is a list sorting the characters by who has led the most sorrowful life.

God Tear
Lucas: In the course of his only game he witnesses the collapse of his society and everyone in his family dies save for his dog.
Luigi: Alas, Luigi is forever in Mario's Shadow.

Upper Tear
Bowser:: His unrequited love for Princess Toadstool is one of the most tragic love stories of video game history.
Pit: He hasn't had a new game out since 1991 -- That's like 17 years.
Sonic: A once legendary icon sadly watches as Sega desecrates his legacy with terrible games.
Toon Link: Nobody really wanted him in this game. (That hurts.)
Zelda/Sheik: She suffers from severe gender dysphoria.

Middle Tear
Peach: She spends a good deal of her life kidnapped...
Ganondorf: He never gets to destroy the world or take over Hyrule. But he has some fun.
Donkey Kong: While it's true he's had some games out it's been far, far, far too long since he's been in a platformer.
Ness:: Ness has an awful lot on his shoulders -- he has been prophecized to save the world from the embodiment of all evil and he's only like 13. Yikes!
Fox: He lost his father and never talks about his mother. That takes its toll.
Falco:: He's a tough guy...But he has a bit of lonliness in him.
Wolf: Wolff never talks about his past -- but something must have happened to him to make him go down the path of criminalness.
Samus: She's probably lost alot of people but she's such a femme fatal that she goes on fighting anyway.
Pikachu:: He has anxiety problems about being the best.
Wario: Wario is kind of sad because he always wants more money. Wario, wealth can't buy you happiness...
MetaKnight: He often feels the people of Dreamland are too lazy. This saddens him.
Marth:: People tease him beacue of how in touch he is with his femininity. \
Ike: Ike bears the burden so many LGBT people have to face.
Lucario: I didn't know where else to put him... = /
Captain Olimar: He spends a good deal of his time stranded on alein worlds. This is sort of saddening.

Mid-Low Tear
King DeDeDe: King DeDeDe has some sadness in his life because he isn't certain what, if everything, he's the king of. He's pretty happy anyway, though.
Diddy Kong: He's pretty happy-go-lucky.
Ice Climbers: Another happy set of characters.
Jigglypuff: No one can stay awake through her whole song, which ticks her off. But she has fun drawing on people's faces.
Pokemon Trainer: Once he gets his Squirtle and his Ivysaur to evolve to their final forms he'll have a sweet team.

Bottom Tear
Mario: Mario is famous, has a significant other, a succesful career that includes Doctor, Race car Driver, Plumber, and Hero. How could Mario not be happy?
Kirby: Kirby IS happiness
Yoshi Yoshi is such a gentle soul -- it would be strange to see him glum.
Mr. Game and Watch: He can turn into an octopus. How could he not be happy?

Banned From Tournament Play:
R.O.B : He's a robot. Even if he experiences emotions they might not be his own so much as they are simluated or pre-programmed emotions.
Snake : Too manly to cry.
Captain Falcoln : C. Falcon's tears cure cancer. Too bad he never cries.
Zero Suit Samus: She can have sex whenever she wants to.

Sorry if I forgot any characters.


What are your thoughts on a tear list?
 
I

Ichida

Smash Ace
Joined
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895
Location
Toronto
Nazzul said:
No offense but it looks like you dont know how to spell here. Or you just didnt read the thread.
Click to expand...
I read it. This was created to spoof the use of tiers and also to comment on the fact that tiers have not been decided yet.
 
Nazzul

Nazzul

Smash Rookie
Joined
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13
Ichida said:
I read it. This was created to spoof the use of tiers and also to comment on the fact that tiers have not been decided yet.
Click to expand...
You didn't read it when you made your first comment then changed your post when you did.

Original: It would help your case if you knew how to spell tier.
 
I

Ichida

Smash Ace
Joined
Feb 5, 2008
Messages
895
Location
Toronto
Nazzul said:
You didn't read it when you made your first comment then changed your post when you did.

Original: It would help your case if you knew how to spell tier.
Click to expand...
It's my natural instinct to stab incorrect English. Gomen ne.
 
D

Downfall

Smash Apprentice
Joined
Feb 19, 2008
Messages
198
Location
JAX, Florida.
Ichida said:
It's my natural instinct to stab incorrect English. Gomen ne.
Click to expand...
It should also be your natural instinct to stab pig-Japanese. KAWAII~ ^______^;;;

Anyway, God-Tear should be 95% of SWF. "BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWW I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ________".

Fill in the blank with whatever.
 
psyniac_123

psyniac_123

Smash Ace
Joined
Jul 4, 2007
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721
Location
England
1. No more tier list threads.
2. Since when did he care about Gamefaqs members?
3. WHO? Is this guy important?
 
S

SeriousWB

Smash Apprentice
Joined
Oct 19, 2007
Messages
189
psyniac_123 said:
1. No more tier list threads.
2. Since when did he care about Gamefaqs members?
3. WHO? Is this guy important?
Click to expand...
You fail on so many levels.

Anyway, Dedede should be higher, he always wants to be like Kirby. He went through rigourous anatomy defying training so he could puff up like Kirby.
 
psyniac_123

psyniac_123

Smash Ace
Joined
Jul 4, 2007
Messages
721
Location
England
SeriousWB said:
You fail on so many levels.

Anyway, Dedede should be higher, he always wants to be like Kirby. He went through rigourous anatomy defying training so he could puff up like Kirby.
Click to expand...
Smashboards = Serious business.
Gamefaqs = not.

So, keep it to Gamefaqs.
 
D

Downfall

Smash Apprentice
Joined
Feb 19, 2008
Messages
198
Location
JAX, Florida.
psyniac_123 said:
Smashboards = Serious business.
Gamefaqs = not.

So, keep it to Gamefaqs.
Click to expand...
No, Smashboards usually is nothing but a bunch of butthurt... what were they referred to as, "competitive casuals" complaining about every little tiny detail, with any joke going right over the average poster's head.

Gamefaqs is just. Well, a class of its own. Anyway, the thread's atleast charming, and can give a little giggle. Cry some more, and let people enjoy it.
 
R

Ripped

Smash Cadet
Joined
Jan 3, 2008
Messages
33
Location
Toronto
whats wrong with you people, its a joke thread, calm down ffs.

If you're complaining that this is trash, look at 1/2 the threads on the brawl forum.

I lol'd btw.
 
Phyvo

Phyvo

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Jul 17, 2007
Messages
289
psyniac_123 said:
Smashboards = Serious business.
Gamefaqs = not.

So, keep it to Gamefaqs.
Click to expand...
Omg, because we are at a competitive website WE ARE NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE ANY FUN AT ALL. LET'S JUST KEEP ON ARGUING THE SAME THINGS OVER AND OVER AGAIN WITHOUT ANY FUN OR HAPPINESS.

Seriously, if you take Smashboards = Serious business to its logical conclusion we would get maybe one new thread in a single day, and you'd have to close user registration and permaban all the newbies because they ask the same questions over and over that should be left to gamefaqs.

Lighten up, dude, we need all the humor we can get. Even if its imported.
 
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