Smash Chains is a new thing that has been discussed at local smashfests.
A Smash Chain is kind of like a smasher's horoscope and family chain combined. It describes what kind of smasher you are, and what line of smashers you are a part of. Think of the people in your smash chain as your direct descendants, a group that you represent as a player.
I'll list some chains now.
Each Chain is named not after the best player within the chain, but the player who represents the traits of the chain the most.
(I didn't include brawl players in any of these chains because some of the traits of the chain cannot be applied to Brawl)
The Ken Chain
This chain is made up of players who are naturally good. Their talents make them forces right from the beginning, and keep them as strong contenders for years to come. They either know little about the intricacies of the game or they simply choose to never speak of it. They rarely every improve much beyond their original level, but they don't really need to. They are naturals at the game.
Distinguishing Characteristic:
They throw a LOT of random s*** out there and call it a strategy. "Three forward smashes in a row azen? Really?"
Players Include:
Ken
Azen
Isai
Romeo
Tavo7
S2j
The PC Chain
This chain is made up of players that are decently natural at the game, but continuously improve to levels far beyond the rest. They DO know about the game, they don't play dumb like they don't know what they're doing. They don't just keep up with the metagame, they help create it.
Distinguishing Characteristic:
D*** size never exceeds 4 inches (Except joey)
Players include:
PC Chris
Mango
Forward
Korean DJ
Lucky
The Tafokintz Chain
Now we get to the funnier chains. We start with the Tafokintz chain. For those of you who don't know Tafokintz, he's a player from UCLA. This chain represents those players who, like Tafokintz, are SO F***ING BAD that they're good. They're smart, otherwise they'd see no success. However, these players have certainly tested their opponents' patience on several occasions with some ******** no sense strategy. It's harder to find the "bad" in the more successful players of this chain, but trust me, they're REALLY bad. So bad that they're kinda good.
Distinguishing Characteristic:
These players tend to take great pride in playing like dumbs***s. Just listen to larry next time he tries to talk about his style.
Players include:
Tafokintz
Drephen
HugS
Chu Dat
HungryBox
Larry Lurrr
MacD
Maple
Champ
The Silent Wolf Chain
This chain of smashers is for all the dumba** technical players out there. This chain belongs to those players who rush you quick without any regard for their own safety. They only know 1 direction...forward. They're certainly good, and they're not completely stupid. Their high risk strategy does take them places, but sometimes not.
Distinguishing Characteristic:
Blowing 3 stock leads like nobody's business.
Players include:
Silent Wolf
Lovage
Sfat
Dashizwiz
Lambchops
Lunin
Ihavespaceballs
The Fabian Chain
This chain is home to those smashers who spent over 3 years playing this game but have yet to make any kind of improvement. These players are the epitome of hopelessness. These are the homies. You kick it with them, you eat with them, you smash with them, you DAM SURE rip on them, but they simply CANNOT improve. Great competition is a must for the players in this chain, since a complete lack of potential can only be proven amongst a great amount of skilled competition. And trust me, these guys have NO potential.
Distinguishing Characterstic:
They try to compensate for their lack of singles skills by pretending to be good in teams. Also, these players are really fond of leaning in real close when they speak to you, like they have no sense of private space.
Players include:
Fabian
Dunskies
24
PB&J
EznJay
E40
Jkun
Blitz
(I'd include norcal but I'd worry about offending some of you in this category, you know who you all are
)
The Kira Chain
There's a fine line separating the Kira chain from the Fabian chain. This chain is made up of players who spent about 2 years being absolutely terrible at this game, before finally becoming great. These are the late bloomers of smash, and thank god they bloomed. Otherwise they'd be in the Fabian chain.
Distinguishing Characteristic:
They tend to forget real quick how absolutely abysmal they once were. For example, read Kira's first post below...
Kira
Evil Nemesis (luigi)
Neighborhood P
Connor
Atlus
Phil
G$
If you don't see yourself in any of these chains, chances are we haven't thought of one that fits you yet.
A Smash Chain is kind of like a smasher's horoscope and family chain combined. It describes what kind of smasher you are, and what line of smashers you are a part of. Think of the people in your smash chain as your direct descendants, a group that you represent as a player.
I'll list some chains now.
Each Chain is named not after the best player within the chain, but the player who represents the traits of the chain the most.
(I didn't include brawl players in any of these chains because some of the traits of the chain cannot be applied to Brawl)
The Ken Chain
This chain is made up of players who are naturally good. Their talents make them forces right from the beginning, and keep them as strong contenders for years to come. They either know little about the intricacies of the game or they simply choose to never speak of it. They rarely every improve much beyond their original level, but they don't really need to. They are naturals at the game.
Distinguishing Characteristic:
They throw a LOT of random s*** out there and call it a strategy. "Three forward smashes in a row azen? Really?"
Players Include:
Ken
Azen
Isai
Romeo
Tavo7
S2j
The PC Chain
This chain is made up of players that are decently natural at the game, but continuously improve to levels far beyond the rest. They DO know about the game, they don't play dumb like they don't know what they're doing. They don't just keep up with the metagame, they help create it.
Distinguishing Characteristic:
D*** size never exceeds 4 inches (Except joey)
Players include:
PC Chris
Mango
Forward
Korean DJ
Lucky
The Tafokintz Chain
Now we get to the funnier chains. We start with the Tafokintz chain. For those of you who don't know Tafokintz, he's a player from UCLA. This chain represents those players who, like Tafokintz, are SO F***ING BAD that they're good. They're smart, otherwise they'd see no success. However, these players have certainly tested their opponents' patience on several occasions with some ******** no sense strategy. It's harder to find the "bad" in the more successful players of this chain, but trust me, they're REALLY bad. So bad that they're kinda good.
Distinguishing Characteristic:
These players tend to take great pride in playing like dumbs***s. Just listen to larry next time he tries to talk about his style.
Players include:
Tafokintz
Drephen
HugS
Chu Dat
HungryBox
Larry Lurrr
MacD
Maple
Champ
The Silent Wolf Chain
This chain of smashers is for all the dumba** technical players out there. This chain belongs to those players who rush you quick without any regard for their own safety. They only know 1 direction...forward. They're certainly good, and they're not completely stupid. Their high risk strategy does take them places, but sometimes not.
Distinguishing Characteristic:
Blowing 3 stock leads like nobody's business.
Players include:
Silent Wolf
Lovage
Sfat
Dashizwiz
Lambchops
Lunin
Ihavespaceballs
The Fabian Chain
This chain is home to those smashers who spent over 3 years playing this game but have yet to make any kind of improvement. These players are the epitome of hopelessness. These are the homies. You kick it with them, you eat with them, you smash with them, you DAM SURE rip on them, but they simply CANNOT improve. Great competition is a must for the players in this chain, since a complete lack of potential can only be proven amongst a great amount of skilled competition. And trust me, these guys have NO potential.
Distinguishing Characterstic:
They try to compensate for their lack of singles skills by pretending to be good in teams. Also, these players are really fond of leaning in real close when they speak to you, like they have no sense of private space.
Players include:
Fabian
Dunskies
24
PB&J
EznJay
E40
Jkun
Blitz
(I'd include norcal but I'd worry about offending some of you in this category, you know who you all are
)The Kira Chain
There's a fine line separating the Kira chain from the Fabian chain. This chain is made up of players who spent about 2 years being absolutely terrible at this game, before finally becoming great. These are the late bloomers of smash, and thank god they bloomed. Otherwise they'd be in the Fabian chain.
Distinguishing Characteristic:
They tend to forget real quick how absolutely abysmal they once were. For example, read Kira's first post below...
Players include:
Kira
Evil Nemesis (luigi)
Neighborhood P
Connor
Atlus
Phil
G$
If you don't see yourself in any of these chains, chances are we haven't thought of one that fits you yet.
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