Eternal phoenix Fire
Smash Hero
OMG guys, I used my ancient decription device that I invented, and translated the text of tonight's update. Sakurai is actually an epic tournyass who abuses glitches to win and doesn't have real skill. let's take a look:
"There are quite a few techniques that didn’t make their way into the instruction manual, but i'll let the noobs whine because they suck am I right?
I’ll try not to get too technical with things, but just know that there are lots of small glitches like these for you to abuse against your lame friends
<recover hax>
When you noobs roll into a Falcon Punch, Don't mash, but tap the shield button just before you're about to eat ****, hit a wall, or ceiling. You’ll bound off the surface with a little hop and, like a pro glitcher, cancel any excess momentum that would have otherwise kept you careening around wildly.
If you can't L-cancel you can't do this.
Since combo attacks and chains don exits, I believe some will find this technique to be usless. GG noobz.
<Shield Mindgames>
You're running at the to attack. You notice him charging a smash attack, then you come closer still, and just before the blow connects...
Clang! You just packed his ****! You’re opponent will look like he has down syndrome, and you will be able to shield grab him in an instant.
Lol, u need moar mindgames, GG noob!
<Stale-Move Negation>
I love this. It's the games way of telling you that that you suck and abusing Link's Up B isn't a good tactic!
And so it should. Let’s face it, you're bland and unoriginal, so this way, I can punish you for being incompetent.
Moves will decrease in attack power when used repeatedly and get progressively weaker with additional spamming, so try and weave a wide variety of attacks into your offense. Oh, I also nerfed Link's Up B for good measure
Also, if you feel like your attacks just aren’t launching the opponent as far as they should... Once again, quit being stupid.
WTF no bat drop? Atleast SHDL...
<Phantom hit>
This isn’t really a technique so much as it is a little tidbit of Smash info.
When your attack just grazes the opponent you’ll hear a little "chik," meaning you’ve just barely grazed the opponent. It's hilarious when you play as Jigglypuff and you miss that Up throw to Rest you're been working so hard for.
This makes you look like you've just failed so hard...
<Swim>
In Brawl you can actually swim a little bit when you’re in water. You’ll soon drown though, and the more damage you’ve accumulated, the less time you’ll be able to stay afloat. It'll piss professional players off, but I think that this will suffice for Wavedashing.
Drow the noobs in your mind!
<Short Hop>
This technique is easy, but it'll be considered a glitch if I don't say anything about it, so i'll do it for you.
Every character has a momentary animation before they jump where they sort of hunker down. If you let off the jump button before this animation ends you’ll perform a small jump.
Shiek's short hop still sucks as you can see.
Try using small jumps to close in and make your opponent look dumbfounded.
How the hell did I miss?
<Marth Grab>
Since everyone loves Marth, I decided to give everyone the abilty to use his abusive, broken and disjointed grab range. That makes everyone happy, right?
You can grab from this far away!
<Eating While Reclining>
Let’s say you’ve just taken a solid hit. You go flying and collapse on the ground.
You notice a few tasty food items on the ground near you.
But honestly, what are the odds of this happening? You're probably not going to be playing with items anyway...
No Subway? I'd rather die!!
<Breaking Reflectors>
・Mario’s Cape
・Fox’s Shine
・Pit’s Ahnananananananananana!! and Mirror Shield
・Zelda’s Naryu’s Love
...And so on. All these moves have the ability to reflect incoming projectiles back at your opponent. When you use one of these to send back an attack, it actually increases the damage that projectile does. But once again, the odds of this occuring against you are slim to none. The only reason why people actually used Fox's reflector was for the shine, and the Cape doesn't work that well anymore. They're pretty much not worth the time to using since they're just weak gimmicks.
But if you and your opponent pump up a projectile’s damage too high, say by reflecting it back and forth...the projectile will become too powerful and break through your reflecting device. So to answer your question: No, there is no black hole glitch. Besides, all of this was just a ploy to nerf that unholy abomination Fox even further. Marth for top tier......Again!!!
The power of Sakurai compels you!!"
Now, someone do an inb4lock.
"There are quite a few techniques that didn’t make their way into the instruction manual, but i'll let the noobs whine because they suck am I right?
I’ll try not to get too technical with things, but just know that there are lots of small glitches like these for you to abuse against your lame friends
<recover hax>
When you noobs roll into a Falcon Punch, Don't mash, but tap the shield button just before you're about to eat ****, hit a wall, or ceiling. You’ll bound off the surface with a little hop and, like a pro glitcher, cancel any excess momentum that would have otherwise kept you careening around wildly.
If you can't L-cancel you can't do this.
Since combo attacks and chains don exits, I believe some will find this technique to be usless. GG noobz.
<Shield Mindgames>
You're running at the to attack. You notice him charging a smash attack, then you come closer still, and just before the blow connects...
Clang! You just packed his ****! You’re opponent will look like he has down syndrome, and you will be able to shield grab him in an instant.
Lol, u need moar mindgames, GG noob!
<Stale-Move Negation>
I love this. It's the games way of telling you that that you suck and abusing Link's Up B isn't a good tactic!
And so it should. Let’s face it, you're bland and unoriginal, so this way, I can punish you for being incompetent.
Moves will decrease in attack power when used repeatedly and get progressively weaker with additional spamming, so try and weave a wide variety of attacks into your offense. Oh, I also nerfed Link's Up B for good measure
Also, if you feel like your attacks just aren’t launching the opponent as far as they should... Once again, quit being stupid.
WTF no bat drop? Atleast SHDL...
<Phantom hit>
This isn’t really a technique so much as it is a little tidbit of Smash info.
When your attack just grazes the opponent you’ll hear a little "chik," meaning you’ve just barely grazed the opponent. It's hilarious when you play as Jigglypuff and you miss that Up throw to Rest you're been working so hard for.
This makes you look like you've just failed so hard...
<Swim>
In Brawl you can actually swim a little bit when you’re in water. You’ll soon drown though, and the more damage you’ve accumulated, the less time you’ll be able to stay afloat. It'll piss professional players off, but I think that this will suffice for Wavedashing.
Drow the noobs in your mind!
<Short Hop>
This technique is easy, but it'll be considered a glitch if I don't say anything about it, so i'll do it for you.
Every character has a momentary animation before they jump where they sort of hunker down. If you let off the jump button before this animation ends you’ll perform a small jump.
Shiek's short hop still sucks as you can see.
Try using small jumps to close in and make your opponent look dumbfounded.
How the hell did I miss?
<Marth Grab>
Since everyone loves Marth, I decided to give everyone the abilty to use his abusive, broken and disjointed grab range. That makes everyone happy, right?
You can grab from this far away!
<Eating While Reclining>
Let’s say you’ve just taken a solid hit. You go flying and collapse on the ground.
You notice a few tasty food items on the ground near you.
But honestly, what are the odds of this happening? You're probably not going to be playing with items anyway...
No Subway? I'd rather die!!
<Breaking Reflectors>
・Mario’s Cape
・Fox’s Shine
・Pit’s Ahnananananananananana!! and Mirror Shield
・Zelda’s Naryu’s Love
...And so on. All these moves have the ability to reflect incoming projectiles back at your opponent. When you use one of these to send back an attack, it actually increases the damage that projectile does. But once again, the odds of this occuring against you are slim to none. The only reason why people actually used Fox's reflector was for the shine, and the Cape doesn't work that well anymore. They're pretty much not worth the time to using since they're just weak gimmicks.
But if you and your opponent pump up a projectile’s damage too high, say by reflecting it back and forth...the projectile will become too powerful and break through your reflecting device. So to answer your question: No, there is no black hole glitch. Besides, all of this was just a ploy to nerf that unholy abomination Fox even further. Marth for top tier......Again!!!
The power of Sakurai compels you!!"
Now, someone do an inb4lock.
