which ssb character is most likely to steal yo gurl

[KeroKeroppi]

please explain your vote

ty

 

[Cobrevolution]

captain falcon is the only one with a pick up line. therefore, falcon.

 

[Pluid]

Jigglypuff is cute and can Sing to my girl, make my girl Rest, Pound her and Rollout before I can find it

 

[The Star King]

luigi

the man is thirsty

falcon and DK are the obvious votes but I decided to rep the underrated THREAT

 

[KnitePhox]

fox will force swooning via swag walking (shine walking)

 

[Sedda]

luigi? all he's missing is an empty ice cream truck to reach legit pedo status.

I chose Fox because he has a stable job and a reputable career. Maybe Falcon could get all the dum girls (aka cobr's girls), but Fox aims for the stars (literally, at times).

gg

 

[The Star King]

DK first appeared as a character who literally stole Jumpman's gurl. I'm not sure how he doesn't have any votes yet.

 

[MasterSplinter]

I don't have a girl to be stolen...

 

[KeroKeroppi]

you guys have got it all wrong

at first i was thinking fox

he gets more ***** than i could ever imagine

but fox wouldn't steal yo gurl

he's too ****ing noble

so then i was all about that falcdog

falcon is testosterone incarnate

and he drives a fast car

but nah

he wouldn't steal your girl either

then i was like nah yo it's totally donkey kong

that mother ****** will literally steal the **** out of your gurl

but nah i was wrong again

now it makes sense

mr. steal yo gurl is none other than ness

do you know who ness is?

ness is that nice kid that you think really highly of

that kid that lives next store to your gurl but would never think about touching her

the type of kid that stays inside and studies all day

the type of kid that brings cookies over on christmas

but he's also that type of kid that comes over and hangs out with your girl when you're on a business trip

but you're okay with it

ness is a lot younger

he doesn't have what it takes to steal a gurl

you're not even sure if he's straight or not

but wait

you're on that business trip

your girl's lonely and she just wants someone to hang out with

she calls over ness, but don't worry, it's definitely nothing intimate!

they laugh and watch movies together all night

you know, all that cute ****

but then a slow song comes on and candles are lit and your gurl's house suddenly starts to seem a little too romantic for a normal hang out

and then ness takes her hand and woah

what do you know

ness can ****ing slow dance

your girl is quickly reminded of the warm embracing feeling of a man and starts to feel really comfortable

she starts to miss you but guess what

you're not there and ness is

one thing leads to the next and we all know how this ends

that cute little nerdy neighbor who was never a threat just stole your ****ing gurl

 

[Cobrevolution]

ness is 8 years old and not stealing anyone's girl

 

[asianaussie]

link IS my girl

back the **** off

 

[iheartqueso]

Yoshi. That tongue.

 

[Shears]

Are you saying Ness is the subject of Mrs. Robinson? That means he didn't steal yo gurl, yo gurl took him to the edge of seventeen.

Also, this thread should be stickied.

 

[Sedda]

kero you suck at contributing to your own poll

 

[The Star King]

do you know who ness is?

ness is that nice kid that you think really highly of

that kid that lives next store to your gurl but would never think about touching her

the type of kid that stays inside and studies all day

the type of kid that brings cookies over on christmas

ness is a lot younger

he doesn't have what it takes to steal a gurl

you're not even sure if he's straight or not

that cute little nerdy neighbor who was never a threat just stole your ****ing gurl

dafuq. if pop culture has taught me anything, it's that anybody who wears a baseball cap sideways is thuggin'. I would never place my trust in that hoodlum.

 

[Shears]

I'm debating on who to pick. I feel Samus could be a legitimate steal yo gurl candidate. Yo gurl is out drinking, this badass chick shows up and of course yo gurl doesn't feel threatened because its another chick, but a badass one so she is inspired and captivated by her. Samus takes her out and they go dancing, have this wild night, and yo gurl is just in awe of her confidence and individuality. She sees Samus flirting with guys, flirting with girls, and yo gurl starts to get turned on a bit. So Samus takes yo gurl to this hot club and whispers into yo gurls ear and is like "you want to have the best night of your life" and yo gurl agrees, so Samus gives yo gurl an acid tab and they both drop it. Hour and a half later their minds and bodies are grooving with each other as they head to Mars. They feel like one, its heaven, infinite pleasure, Samus makes a move and it just feels right. They rave for hours, just feeling like they're meant to be. Yo gurl builds this trust with Samus, feels like her soul needs her. So on their way down, Samus takes yo gurl back to her place. They embrace as they float back to Earth together, they're connected, a unity. They experienced the universe, life and death together and as they lay in bed for hours yo gurl is happy, shes at peace, and she knows Samus is the one that will always bring that to her. She doesn't come home the next day and you start to get worried, you call but her phones off since it died in the middle of the night. Yo gurl doesn't care, she has forgotten about you, she has forgotten about everyone, Samus is her and she is Samus and thats all she cares about. They run away to Planet Zebes together, to live an eternity in harmony, and you, well you never know what happened and you never will. Yo gurl is Samus's gurl and there was nothing you could ever do about it.

 

[Saltsizzle]

DK would physically steal yo gurl.

In terms of charm then steal yo gurl, I will say Kirby. A cute, dreamy, pink ball superstar that can suck, blow, drill, and can turn rock hard instantly.

 

[Vale]

Pikachu. So hypothetically there's some girl, right? Of course, the first thing I do to impress her is show her my mad Smash 64 skills. Naturally, this works flawlessly, because there's no way she could resist the charm of an obese dude with bad facial hair playing video games. However, she's looking at the TV, seeing how cool Pikachu's being. Spamming F-smash at the ledge against Falcon seals another stock. Falcon is pretty manly, but Pikachu just took him out like it's nothing. She then decides she's more interested in Pikachu than myself. She goes home and marries a giant Pikachu plush. GG me.

 

[pidgezero_one]

kirby because do i really need to explain that neutral b

also i'm a girl and i main kirby so i guess it makes sense

I'm debating on who to pick. I feel Samus could be a legitimate steal yo gurl candidate. Yo gurl is out drinking, this badass chick shows up and of course yo gurl doesn't feel threatened because its another chick, but a badass one so she is inspired and captivated by her. Samus takes her out and they go dancing, have this wild night, and yo gurl is just in awe of her confidence and individuality. She sees Samus flirting with guys, flirting with girls, and yo gurl starts to get turned on a bit. So Samus takes yo gurl to this hot club and whispers into yo gurls ear and is like "you want to have the best night of your life" and yo gurl agrees, so Samus gives yo gurl an acid tab and they both drop it. Hour and a half later their minds and bodies are grooving with each other as they head to Mars. They feel like one, its heaven, infinite pleasure, Samus makes a move and it just feels right. They rave for hours, just feeling like they're meant to be. Yo gurl builds this trust with Samus, feels like her soul needs her. So on their way down, Samus takes yo gurl back to her place. They embrace as they float back to Earth together, they're connected, a unity. They experienced the universe, life and death together and as they lay in bed for hours yo gurl is happy, shes at peace, and she knows Samus is the one that will always bring that to her. She doesn't come home the next day and you start to get worried, you call but her phones off since it died in the middle of the night. Yo gurl doesn't care, she has forgotten about you, she has forgotten about everyone, Samus is her and she is Samus and thats all she cares about. They run away to Planet Zebes together, to live an eternity in harmony, and you, well you never know what happened and you never will. Yo gurl is Samus's gurl and there was nothing you could ever do about it.

i am almost positive this is the plot of an orange is the new black episode

 

[Shears]

kirby because do i really need to explain that neutral b

also i'm a girl and i main kirby so i guess it makes sense

You wouldn't take a trip with Samus to Planet Zebes?

 

[pidgezero_one]

You wouldn't take a trip with Samus to Planet Zebes?

I definitely would, but I think samus has higher standards than that

 

[UriNATE]

Falcon.

*Pulls up with the Blue Falcon*
".... COME ON!!"
*Panties incinerated*

Why are the other options even available?

 

[The Star King]

I'm debating on who to pick. I feel Samus could be a legitimate steal yo gurl candidate. Yo gurl is out drinking, this badass chick shows up and of course yo gurl doesn't feel threatened because its another chick, but a badass one so she is inspired and captivated by her. Samus takes her out and they go dancing, have this wild night, and yo gurl is just in awe of her confidence and individuality. She sees Samus flirting with guys, flirting with girls, and yo gurl starts to get turned on a bit. So Samus takes yo gurl to this hot club and whispers into yo gurls ear and is like "you want to have the best night of your life" and yo gurl agrees, so Samus gives yo gurl an acid tab and they both drop it. Hour and a half later their minds and bodies are grooving with each other as they head to Mars. They feel like one, its heaven, infinite pleasure, Samus makes a move and it just feels right. They rave for hours, just feeling like they're meant to be. Yo gurl builds this trust with Samus, feels like her soul needs her. So on their way down, Samus takes yo gurl back to her place. They embrace as they float back to Earth together, they're connected, a unity. They experienced the universe, life and death together and as they lay in bed for hours yo gurl is happy, shes at peace, and she knows Samus is the one that will always bring that to her. She doesn't come home the next day and you start to get worried, you call but her phones off since it died in the middle of the night. Yo gurl doesn't care, she has forgotten about you, she has forgotten about everyone, Samus is her and she is Samus and thats all she cares about. They run away to Planet Zebes together, to live an eternity in harmony, and you, well you never know what happened and you never will. Yo gurl is Samus's gurl and there was nothing you could ever do about it.

Shears confirmed fanfiction.net writer

 

[Shears]

Heres the way I see everyone playing out:

Luigi: Roofies yo gurl, takes her back to his creepy mansion
Mario: You got yo gurl by stealing her from Mario and he's trying to rescue her back
DK: Straight up kidnaps yo gurl
Link: Same boat as Mario
Samus: See my post above. She does the acid test and its game over, yo gurl is stolen
Falcon: Like Chris Hemsworth in Rush, he can steal yo gurl
Ness: Yo gurl steals Ness and makes a man out of him
Yoshi: Takes yo gurl for a ride on his hump and shows her how hes used that tongue for over 65 billion years
Kirby: Sucks on yo gurl for a long time before getting rock hard
Fox: Too busy being an officer and saving the Lylat system to steal yo gurl. Plus he has daddy issues
Pika: Puts on his party hat and is so cute yo gurl brings him home, but yo gurl is too busy cuddling him and pinching those rosy red cheeks he never gets anywhere
Puff: Serenades yo gurl with his sweet voice knocking her out, takes advantage of her, gets some rest, and then ***** slaps yo gurl on his way out

 

[kys]

Fox doesn't have legs.

How would that work? It wouldn't. He might not have balls either.

GG Fox

 

[Shears]

Fox doesn't have legs.

Have you played smash bros?

i am almost positive this is the plot of an orange is the new black episode

Never seen the show but I was half inspired by Black Swan and half inspired from personal experience.

Shears confirmed fanfiction.net writer

Is that some kind of site for erotic fantasy blogs involving anime/video game characters?

If so, it would be a great place for @Komotonoto to write about his necrobumping adventures.

 

[Cobrevolution]

fox's legs are made of metal

 

[MrMarbles]

mario. He knows his way around the plumbing

 

[KoRoBeNiKi]

Pikachu for the most obvious reason: It's Kero's main

 

[MrTea]

Samus, cuz my girl's got a thing for donk

 

[Shears]

Pikachu for the most obvious reason: It's Kero's main

Didn't get top 8, therefore has no chance at stealing anyone's gurl

 

[Komenja]

Kirby gets all the *******. Seriously, how can you compete with that cuteness?

 

[MrMarbles]

Kirby gets all the *****es. Seriously, how can you compete with that cuteness?

 

[The Star King]

the sideways hat point returns