David Wonn
Smash Ace
Everyone who plays Team Battle runs into this scenario from time to time. You finally get a decent group of skilled players and the stages / items (or lack thereof) are reasonable enough for everyone. Suddenly one player leaves and is replaced with a really bad player. You know the kind; they always go with the same failed moves over and over. They pick Bowser / Yoshi / Kirby / Toon Link / etc. and always try to dive bomb into everyone from up high. Or they self destruct often with Yoshi's Egg Roll / Jigglypuff's Rollout / etc. Or they spam thunder and lightning as Pikachu or forward smashes as Wolf. Whatever they do, they routinely get a -3 score or worse and bring down the team they are on. You know your turn is coming to babysit the n00b, and you know another loss is imminent. What do you do? I compiled a list of thoughts with various ranges of success or failure, but some players just. WON'T. LEAVE. No matter what:
A. Pick your best character / their worst matchup / clone them / pick an annoying character. This is usually one of my first resorts. I try to go after them relentlessly in hopes they will eventually leave. This option is more likely to work than others. If only it were that simple....
B. Switch to Link / Toon Link / Snake and attack the n00b teammate with explosives. I only attempt this after repeated failed attempts of the previous option. This one sounds good on paper, but unfortunately it rarely works. Usually my opponents are too busy attacking me for them to even notice I am trying this. For this reason, I rarely even attempt this.
C. Pick an annoying stage and/or annoying items. This one can backfire though, as you might find the good players leaving instead.
D. "Pretend" to be away by not touching the controller for the duration of the match when you have the babysitting duty. This is another one I don't do often. I find it more likely that the good players will actually be the ones leaving, since we all hate having an idle player almost as much as a n00b partner.
E. "Throw" the match with repeated self-destructs. I can't get myself to stoop to this level very much at all since it is contrary to my competitive nature in the game. Even if I do try this, the others might get the wrong signal and assume the stage / items are the complaint rather than the n00b partner.
F. Stick it out. This one is obvious.
G. Leave and/or disconnect. Find another group. This is also obvious.
H. Play a different game or just turn off the TV. I am especially likely to do this if I've played long enough or it's getting late.
I. Go to Basic Brawl. I would really have to be annoyed or bored to go there, so this is definitely the last resort.
I am sure that I am forgetting other options. Note that I am not at all annoyed if there are 2 or 3 such players in a match, since they can offset one another or give me a good opportunity to switch to characters I am not good with. What do you guys do when just that one bad player won't leave?
A. Pick your best character / their worst matchup / clone them / pick an annoying character. This is usually one of my first resorts. I try to go after them relentlessly in hopes they will eventually leave. This option is more likely to work than others. If only it were that simple....
B. Switch to Link / Toon Link / Snake and attack the n00b teammate with explosives. I only attempt this after repeated failed attempts of the previous option. This one sounds good on paper, but unfortunately it rarely works. Usually my opponents are too busy attacking me for them to even notice I am trying this. For this reason, I rarely even attempt this.
C. Pick an annoying stage and/or annoying items. This one can backfire though, as you might find the good players leaving instead.
D. "Pretend" to be away by not touching the controller for the duration of the match when you have the babysitting duty. This is another one I don't do often. I find it more likely that the good players will actually be the ones leaving, since we all hate having an idle player almost as much as a n00b partner.
E. "Throw" the match with repeated self-destructs. I can't get myself to stoop to this level very much at all since it is contrary to my competitive nature in the game. Even if I do try this, the others might get the wrong signal and assume the stage / items are the complaint rather than the n00b partner.
F. Stick it out. This one is obvious.
G. Leave and/or disconnect. Find another group. This is also obvious.
H. Play a different game or just turn off the TV. I am especially likely to do this if I've played long enough or it's getting late.
I. Go to Basic Brawl. I would really have to be annoyed or bored to go there, so this is definitely the last resort.
I am sure that I am forgetting other options. Note that I am not at all annoyed if there are 2 or 3 such players in a match, since they can offset one another or give me a good opportunity to switch to characters I am not good with. What do you guys do when just that one bad player won't leave?
I'm actually a taunter myself, only cuz sometimes I don't feel like battling. =P
