LasermasterA
Smash Champion
You sir win the thread! I can't beat that so I will just get to the chances.I've been waiting for this for ages. Now to submit the evidence!
(warning: LOTS of gifs ahead)
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This thread is now in session for the rating of Mr. Phoenix Wright.
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The prosecution is ready, Your Honour.
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The defence is ready, Your Honour.
Judge:
Now then, yesterday this thread witnessed quite a bit of commotion in the case of Ryuuichi -- no, that's not it... Ryuunosuke...
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(That's odd. Why are my ears burning...?)
Edgeworth:
Just Ryu, Your Honour.
Judge:
Ah, yes! That person with the apple-scented bandana, right?
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Ryu's fighting moves were so cool, Nick! But I bet he wouldn't stand a chance against the Steel Samurai!
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(I'm not sure "cool" is how I'd describe them... And was it just me, or was he looking at me like I was some sort of training dummy?)
Judge:
Well... I think it's fair to say that Mr. Ryuunohoshi performed not quite as strongly as we were expecting. What does the prosecution have to say?
Edgeworth:
Quite below expectations, indeed... However, I do believe today's defendant can expect to perform considerably worse, Your Honour.
Phoenix:
(Gee... Thanks for the show of support, Edgeworth... Have you already forgotten that statement I gave to Mr. Takumi when he almost didn't let you join us in Labyrinthia?)
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Hmph. Feeling the pinch already, Wright?
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...! Er, no, of course not! All's right with Wright! ... Ahaha...
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Ugh... Nick, that was terrible, even by your standards...
Phoenix:
You're my assistant, you know... How about actually ASSISTING me for once?
Edgeworth:
Well, I'm afraid I'm only getting started. Show the witness to the stand!
******
Edgeworth:
Will the witness please state his name?
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I’m Ryu. Mr. Edgeworth, you struck me as a capable opponent yesterday, so I have returned to challenge you!
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Witness, this is no battlefield! You are here only to give your testimony to us!
Ryu:
Talk is cheap. The answers you seek from me lie in the heart of battle.
Judge:
Actually, witness, the answers we seek from you lie in the heart of your testimony. Can you please begin?
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Ryu:
I walk the path of a true warrior.
In order to become stronger, I must seek out opponents whose fighting styles differ greatly from any I have seen before.
It only makes sense that I would be asked to join these “Smash Brothers”! They also understand the long path of the warrior!
Not only that, but I have fought many times on Nintendo’s various battlegrounds!
Mr. Wright! You may have overcome me in the past, but you face an uphill battle now!
This time, you must defeat my sound files to stand a chance!
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Phoenix:
Those are just sound files! Couldn’t they have just gotten in by some accident? They don’t prove anything!
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The people working on this software are professionals, Wright! Do you really think they would make such a grave error?
Ryu:
Mr. Edgeworth is correct. This Sakurai person they speak of seems like an honourable warrior.
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Sakurai, honourable? I don’t think so! I’d say he just put those sound files in there to throw us off!
Phoenix:
...! Hey, that’s not a bad idea, Maya! That sounds exactly like something Sakurai would do!
Maya:
Hee hee! Guess I’m not such a bad assistant after all, huh, Nick? Keep those burgers coming, and I’ll keep the ideas coming!
Phoenix:
That’s only one good idea, Maya. Win this case for me first, then we might talk burgers.
Well, Edgeworth? You can’t deny that it’s possible!
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Tsk, tsk. And you call yourself a lawyer, Wright? Have you already forgotten about copyright law? Those files are Capcom’s property! There’s no way they would allow anyone to use them for a mere prank!
Phoenix:
Then, do you have a better explanation for them?
Edgeworth:
Isn’t it obvious? The files are a sure sign of Mr. Sakurai’s intent to invite the witness to join the fight!
Ryu:
Indeed. And since Mega Man has already joined before either of us, I’m afraid there would be no room for a third outsider. But do not take your defeat too harshly, Mr. Wright. It is merely one more step on my path to becoming a true warrior.
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Face it, Wright. In the courtroom, evidence is everything... and all of the evidence points to the witness having been chosen over you!
Phoenix:
Wh-whaaaat!? (This isn’t good at all!)
Maya:
Come on, Nick! We can’t just give up now! Can’t you point your finger and do one of your “turnabout” things, or something?
Phoenix:
It’s not that simple, Maya... But you’re right. Maybe if I try thinking about it from a different angle... I’m thinking about the data from inside the game, but what about the data from outside the game?
...! Aha! I’ve got it!
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On this website, we can clearly see that my games have sold over five million copies worldwide! Not only that, but they’re all on Nintendo platforms too! Something our witness’ titles clearly are not!
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Honestly, Wright? You’re presenting information from VGChartz for video game sales? That’s like looking up Eventhubs for fighting game match-ups! But I suppose I could humour you for a moment... I direct the thread’s attention to this page on the same website. The sales figures clearly state 6.3 million units! That’s one game, Wright. One game is all our witness needs to best you!
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6.3 MILLION!?
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Judge:
I think we’ve heard enough from this witness. It’s clear to the thread at this point who is the more notable personality.
Ryu:
My commiserations, Mr. Wright. You put up a good fight, and you have earned my respect. I look forward to our next battle, wherever it may take place.
Phoenix:
(There must be something else I can come up with...)
???:
Hmm... Looks like you’re in a bit of trouble, Phoenix.
Phoenix:
(That voice...!)
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It’s been a while, Phoenix.
Phoenix:
Chief! Why are you here?
Mia:
For the same reason I always come back - to get you to turn this case around! Remember, this is a public ballot, so it’s not the data in the games that’s important - it’s the people who will be playing those games. Have you considered what the onlookers think of this whole situation?
Phoenix:
...! Of course! We still don’t know who the people want to appear in the game!
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Heh heh. I figured that would come up sooner or later... Bring in the next witness!
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Edgeworth is as sharp as ever... He’s probably been waiting for this to come up. Be careful, Phoenix.
******
Edgeworth:
The witness will state his name and occupation to the thread.
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Detective **** Gumshoe, sir. I'm a homicide detective with the local precinct, sir.
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Edgeworth:
Detective. Can you state your first name again?
Gumshoe:
****, sir.
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... ... ...
Mia:
I know Detective Gumshoe may not be the sharpest tool in the box... But I never imagined he’d have difficulty with his own name...
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What seems to be the problem, witness?
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I'm not sure, sir... See, these big star-shaped things keep appearing whenever I try saying my first name, and they won't let me say it. You want I should spell it out instead? D-I- --
Judge:
No, no, that won't be necessary, witness. We don't need to get anyone in trouble here!
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... If we're done avoiding being in contempt of thread, can the witness please detail the public opinion of this case?
Gumshoe:
Sure thing, sir!
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Gumshoe:
Today’s the 32nd day of this thread, so we’ve probably already dealt with the most popular nominations.
So far, the crocodile and the wolf guy are winning, and everyone seems to think the wolf is a shoo-in.
Not only that, but the people think that, because Ryu is so likely, they aren’t even giving you a chance, pal!
They think it’d be a waste of a vote to choose someone who has no hope of winning. And a lot of people aren’t even sure how you’d be able to fight.
Also... well, you’re a lawyer, pal. Nobody really likes lawyers these days...
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I’m afraid that’s where you’re wrong, Detective. I think if you look around this place enough, you’ll find I’m plenty popular around here! People might not think my chances are good, but how many people can you actually find who’ve said they don’t like me?
Gumshoe:
Hey... you’re right, pal! I can’t find many bad comments about you at all!
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Preposterous! Do you mean people actually LIKE watching you bluff your way through every single court case?
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Well... it hasn’t failed me yet, has it? But my point still stands! If you look around here, I think you’ll find I’ve got far more fans than detractors!
Judge:
“Look around here”? Where are we looking? Who are we looking at?
Phoenix:
I wasn’t talking about anywhere in particular, Your Honour... I meant, if you ask around among the people here...
Judge:
Ask around? You there, bailiff! Bring down some of the audience members to the stand, so we can hear their opinions!
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That won’t be necessary, Your Honour... The point I’m trying to make is, I think people are underestimating my popularity. And in a public poll, isn’t that what’s important?
Edgeworth:
I’m not sure the results of the poll are going to determine who gets in, as such... But I suppose it can’t be denied that Wright does have his fans.
Mia:
Edgeworth is actually agreeing with you? This can’t be good...
Edgeworth:
Yes, you may have your supporters, but nobody has answered the question of what you would actually do in this “Smash Brothers”!
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Haven’t you done any research? Take a look at this video. I’ve got more tricks up my sleeve than you think!
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What the... What are you doing with that evidence... ONE MILLION POINTS!?
Judge:
Oho! I must say, they captured my gavel work perfectly! And the fluffiness of my beard... I must show this to my brother later - it will put his “glorious playoff beard” to shame!
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Phoenix... Is that my sister I see there, doing your dirty work for you?
Phoenix:
*gulp* W-well, Chief... she said you told her to look after me, so she insisted I let her help...
Mia:
That magic shield is amazing, though... The powers of the Kurain Channeling Technique never cease to amaze me.
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Ahem... yes, well... These tricks are all well and good here, but who’s to say these “Smash Brothers” will let you use any of them?
Phoenix:
You’re right, Edgeworth - who’s to say? But don’t you think I should at least get a chance to find out, though?
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Hmph... I will admit, I’m curious to see more of what we can do with the evidence we find...
Gumshoe:
Hey, pal, where do you keep finding all of that evidence, anyway? Us detectives can never find half as much as you!
Phoenix:
Ahaha... I guess criminals always leave traces behind... You just... have to know where to look!
Judge:
So! It looks as though both the defence and prosecution are in agreement regarding how much they want to see Mr. Wright join the “Smash Brothers”! Is that right, Mr. Edgeworth?
Edgeworth:
... I suppose that would be accurate, Your Honour...
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Well done, Phoenix! Another successful turnabout!
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Well... I’ve got you to thank for it again, Chief...
Judge:
Well, I believe there’s nothing more to be said regarding this case, except for my verdict!
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Um... This wasn’t a trial, Your Honour...
Chance: 12% because he's more Nintendo-ish than Ryu, but still not very likely.
Want: 100% - See above
Prediction for Lip: 9.26%
Nominations: Anna (Fire Emblem) x3
Professor Layton x2
Thread adjourned!
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Chance: 10%
I gave Ryu 90% so I will give Phoenix the remaining 10%. With Ryu most likely coming in Smash, Nick's chances don't look too bright. Although a turnabout would be nice
Want: 85%
I guess he would be 2nd most wanted character after Isaac. He is different, represents ace attorney and is a master of unexpected (well expected now
) comebacks! Nominations:
Abel (SMT: Devil Survivor) or any other SMT character x 5
