4 chan would say something like this:
ssb4 dong jokes in 3..2...1:
Mario-I'll spray you with my F.L.U.D.D
Luigi- I'll ready my cyclone before launching a green missle
Peach- Let me sit on you and show you where I keep my toads. You'll have to keep pulling my turnips to get a bob-omb .( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Bowser- Unleashing the flying slam before I combo a bowser bomb.
bowser jr- Let me show you what my dad taught me
Donkey kong- I'll shower you with coconut cream pies before expanding.
Diddy kong-I'll peel my bannanas and give you the peel before doing a monkey flip.( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Little mac- Wanna see my giga mac? When I smash, I also get super armor...for protection ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Kirby- I'll go rock hard 1st and slam before inhaling you. After hammer time, I'll unleash the final cutter.( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Meta Knight- I have a little sword but's really fast. I also have a powerful foward SMASH.
Marth- I'm best at my tip of my LONG sword. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Lucina- I'm good all over. Lets start with a dancing blade .( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Robin- Male or female? Either way, I'll unleash a thoron that'll tip the scales.
Villager- I'll catch you in my net and cut my tree down on you. After that, I'll shoot a powerful rocket ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Captain falcon- Come on and show me your moves. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Link- I do more than the master sword. If I stand still, I get protection from my shield.
Toon link- I'm not as strong, but I can go faster. BTW, my hookshot is just as good.( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Ganon- My wizard's foot tingles. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Sheik- 1st, I'll shoot my needles and then I'll bounce on my fish before unleashing a burst grenade.
Greninja- (Announcer voice) Amphinobi/ Gekkouga ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)- I'll unleash a hydro pump to squirtle you before I show you my long tongue( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Jigglypuff- Let me sleep with you. I'll pound you before un leashing a rollout.
Shulk- I'm really feeling it. Buster, smash, speed or shield. I prefer smash.
Palutena- Let me give you a divine intervention because I can do anything a woman can do..and more( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Pikachu- I'll unleash a thunder inside that'll pound you down.
Sonic- I can go faster than anyone. Wanna feel my spindash?( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Fox- I'll shoot my "lasers" quickly.
Falco- Personally, I perfer my DONG.
King dedede- Triple d stands for triple dong. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Ryu- Light, medium or heavy. Either way, I can follow up easily.
Zero suit samus- Let me stun you with my paralyzer so I can do what I want. (( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°))
Roy-I'm best really up close.
Olimar- I'll put all my white pikmin on you.
Wii fit trainer- I'll make it fit. Lets stretch our legs. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Cloud-Breaking my limits ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Bayonetta- I'll shoot with my guns. I also got plenty of combos little one ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Corrin- Your fate is clear ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Mewtwo- My tail isn't really a tail at all ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
That's it. It's all ogre ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
