punch
Smash Cadet
What do you think of this kind of self-loathing? At first I thought it was funny the way the guy was putting himself down. Then it made me sad that he views himself so negatively. Messed up video.
-
Welcome to Smashboards, the world's largest Super Smash Brothers community! Over 250,000 Smash Bros. fans from around the world have come to discuss these great games in over 19 million posts!
You are currently viewing our boards as a visitor. Click here to sign up right now and start on your path in the Smash community!
Video: 27-year-old man: 'I always knew I was a loser.'
- Thread starter punch
- Start date
Doormaster
Smash Rookie
I'm sorry for the late reply, but I have to completely agree on this guy's sentiment, mainly because I can relate to it. Not only do we both have low self-esteem, can't get a woman even if our lives depended on it (despite me being 6'5"), and have never had a serious relationship, but we both think of ourselves as losers. Now if you don't mind, I'll share my personal story, although I might regret it. The reason I'm sharing this story is because I feel it relates to how the black guy feels in the video, and maybe some of you can give me some support.
So, there's this girl I had feelings for. I've talked about her before on this site, but lately things have been going on a downward spiral for her and me. It all started when I was playing Wii Sports Tennis on a particularly boring day. Keep in mind I had suicidal thoughts in the past, so what was about to happen added more fuel to the proverbial fire. After my performance in the game was particularly poor (I consider myself to be one of the best players in the world in that game, if not the best), I went on Facebook to the girl's profile to share my feelings to her. I remember the following events like they were yesterday, even though I want to pretend they never happened. I remember typing in a private message, "give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill myself." I was just trying to find support, but she took the message the wrong way. Obviously, she got really scared by this, and, with the help of her mom, called the ****ing police on me. After I got woken up by my parents, I went downstairs to talk with officer friendly. All he really said was suicide prevention lies in the parent's responsibility. A few weeks pass. I felt I needed to talk with this girl just one more ****ing time, plus I felt I needed to get back at her for all the times she treated me like ****. I wasn't allowed to talk to her after what happened earlier, so I landed myself in even bigger trouble by talking to her. Cue a trip to the principal's office, and now I have to stay in the office during non-instructional time for the rest of the damn year. Thank God the year's almost over. Ever since then, the urge to kill myself has become even stronger. I've even put the gun to my head, but I'm too much of a ****ing coward to pull the trigger. I feel I'll do the world a favour (including the girl) if I ever decide to do so.
Tl;dr: I want to talk to a girl, I instantly regret it.
In the present, that girl has plenty of friends; I have none. She graduated; I still have one more year. She has a boyfriend; I don't have any sort of significant other. Life just refuses to go my way even once.
My personal opinion on this kind of self-loathing is that most of the time it's warranted, but only, and I repeat only, in our depressed minds. Other people would say it's not, but you would never understand a depressed person's side of the story until you take a trip in their shoes (which the girl I mentioned earlier refuses to do). This video surprised me, as I think of black people as happy, jovial people, but this guy seems to be an exception. All his other videos are like this too. He mentions in the video that he isn't going to bother with girls and women anymore. I can totally relate to this, because I've tried to be in a relationship with girls besides this one, but every single time it doesn't work. I've now decided that I won't even bother with girls for the next five years. The game is ****ing rigged.
The conclusion: this guy may feel like he is alone in his opinion, but he most certainly is not, especially since other guys like me have no chance either. We both are victims of society, and we both think of ourselves as losers. Oh, and if some of you guys can offer your support (like
Cool Trainer Ace
), that would be great. Thank you.
So, there's this girl I had feelings for. I've talked about her before on this site, but lately things have been going on a downward spiral for her and me. It all started when I was playing Wii Sports Tennis on a particularly boring day. Keep in mind I had suicidal thoughts in the past, so what was about to happen added more fuel to the proverbial fire. After my performance in the game was particularly poor (I consider myself to be one of the best players in the world in that game, if not the best), I went on Facebook to the girl's profile to share my feelings to her. I remember the following events like they were yesterday, even though I want to pretend they never happened. I remember typing in a private message, "give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill myself." I was just trying to find support, but she took the message the wrong way. Obviously, she got really scared by this, and, with the help of her mom, called the ****ing police on me. After I got woken up by my parents, I went downstairs to talk with officer friendly. All he really said was suicide prevention lies in the parent's responsibility. A few weeks pass. I felt I needed to talk with this girl just one more ****ing time, plus I felt I needed to get back at her for all the times she treated me like ****. I wasn't allowed to talk to her after what happened earlier, so I landed myself in even bigger trouble by talking to her. Cue a trip to the principal's office, and now I have to stay in the office during non-instructional time for the rest of the damn year. Thank God the year's almost over. Ever since then, the urge to kill myself has become even stronger. I've even put the gun to my head, but I'm too much of a ****ing coward to pull the trigger. I feel I'll do the world a favour (including the girl) if I ever decide to do so.
Tl;dr: I want to talk to a girl, I instantly regret it.
In the present, that girl has plenty of friends; I have none. She graduated; I still have one more year. She has a boyfriend; I don't have any sort of significant other. Life just refuses to go my way even once.
My personal opinion on this kind of self-loathing is that most of the time it's warranted, but only, and I repeat only, in our depressed minds. Other people would say it's not, but you would never understand a depressed person's side of the story until you take a trip in their shoes (which the girl I mentioned earlier refuses to do). This video surprised me, as I think of black people as happy, jovial people, but this guy seems to be an exception. All his other videos are like this too. He mentions in the video that he isn't going to bother with girls and women anymore. I can totally relate to this, because I've tried to be in a relationship with girls besides this one, but every single time it doesn't work. I've now decided that I won't even bother with girls for the next five years. The game is ****ing rigged.
The conclusion: this guy may feel like he is alone in his opinion, but he most certainly is not, especially since other guys like me have no chance either. We both are victims of society, and we both think of ourselves as losers. Oh, and if some of you guys can offer your support (like
Cool Trainer Ace
), that would be great. Thank you.
Last edited:
Cool Trainer Ace
Smash Journeyman
Well, I logged in today and was faced with the message "You have been tagged in so-and-so's message". A bit confused as to why I specifically was tagged, but I read through the whole thing and I'm willing to give a few words to the whole topic.
Where do I even begin? For 15 years of my life I had been stuck in this endless loop of life constantly shoving me out of the way of things I wanted so dearly. For those years, nothing EVER went my way. The most important and coveted thing in my life at that time was getting girls to like me. Every year of my life there has been one beautiful diamond that I found myself baffled by. And every. Single. Year. That dream of hanging out with them or getting along was gradually picked up off the ground by life and shot in the back of the head with a grenade launcher. I was miserable with myself. I was surrounded by people who loved me, yet I felt like I was alone. I never smiled, I was hopelessly introverted, and I felt that no matter what I did in life, it wouldn't have any good impact. I was, like you, a victim of life and society. A social outcast who would never have any good friends, never have a dream girl (or a girl in general), and who's life was so insignificant when placed next to others. While I'm blessed to have never had thoughts of suicide come to mind, when I looked at everybody else, they all appeared to be smarter, more good looking, more capable, and overall just superior to me. I screwed up ENDLESSLY. I cried my eyes out whenever I was slightly hurt or messed up. (I live in a family who looks down on cursing, so when I accidentally swore when I hurt myself, I was so embarrassed and cried so much I refused to come back out into the living room for the rest of the night, even though nobody was angry at me) I thought to myself, if I stopped existing, would people even notice...?
So what changed? I'm clearly not like that anymore, so what happened to turn all of that hell from a frown into a perpetual smile?
Well, my parents started intervening and set me off on the journey to become positive. I started going on daily rants about how much of a loser I was, how no girl would ever like me, on and on, etc., etc. I would talk to them for HOURS and constantly degrade myself. I was so harsh on myself ever single day I did that. I hated myself for not being like other people who could easily get girls. By doing that, however, I ensured that for the next four years I would never have a girlfriend. When you say something to yourself, your brain uses that. By telling yourself that your a loser, or that you'll never accomplish anything, or that no girl will ever like you, it starts actively working towards that goal. It's self-ensured destruction. It's counter-productivity on the highest level. It's like wanting to build a building, but every time you try and build the foundation, you grab a jackhammer and destroy the newly-hardened concrete. You didn't get anything done, and now you have to start over. See what I mean?
I've been helping other people with this same exact mindset. It's really not easy to deal with at all, but is 100% worth it. So I've come up with a model for helping people become positive. Imagine an angel on one shoulder, and a demon on the other like in a cartoon's depiction of a conscience.
Forget what you know about how this works in cartoons. Never listen to the demon. Unlike in cartoons, he's there to make sure that you make your life a awful and miserable as physically possible. He wants you to hate yourself, he wants you to hate others, he wants you to tell yourself negative things, etc. The angel, on the other hand (or other shoulder, I guess), is your new best friend. Get to know him well, because he's going to be your guide from this point forward. You should listen to him all the time, as he's there to improve your life. He wants you to succeed. He wants you to have good friends. He wants you to finally go out with the girl of your dreams. As long as you listen to him and follow his little 'way points', you'll get there. I can PROMISE you that. If you're having trouble hearing him, tell the demon to go away. It sounds strange, but it works for a little bit. If you keep telling him to leave, (preferably out loud if you can, as it works much better), he'll start going away for longer periods of time. You know he's trying to convince you of things if what he says is negative. For instance: "You're a loser..." ; "You'll never make it in life" ; "You might as well just kill yourself." That's him. He's subtle and conniving, but he can be dealt with.
Going back to your new little friend, you also have to remember that he can't do everything. He can give you advice, but ultimately you're the one who chooses whether or not to listen to him. Speak positive things over yourself, even if they don't seem true in that moment. It can be hard to be nice to yourself and say things like "I'm an amazing person" or "I'm going to have a girlfriend in the future" after having been in a rut your whole life, but the more you say things like that, the more progress you make. It worked for me, and so far it's working for many other people I'm helping. This all takes time, but look at how I turned out. I went from a timid, self-hating, world-hating person to someone who smiles often, loves life, is open and kind, and who has a girl waiting for him when the school year starts again. Just think positive. You're only hurting yourself by agreeing with the negative voices you hear. It doesn't matter what your going through in life, there is ALWAYS a bright side. ALWAYS. Sometimes it's hard to see, but it's there. I can promise you. You are worth something. No matter what you've done in the past, what you've been through, or what anybody thinks of you. You are worth something. And as long as you use positive thinking and try to be happy, your life will get better, as it has done for countless other people, including myself.
Tell me if this helped, or at least showed you a different perspective on how life works. Give yourself an opportunity to turn your life around. If you have any questions or need advice, just PM me and I'll be more than happy to help. Shine bright, friends!
So what changed? I'm clearly not like that anymore, so what happened to turn all of that hell from a frown into a perpetual smile?
Well, my parents started intervening and set me off on the journey to become positive. I started going on daily rants about how much of a loser I was, how no girl would ever like me, on and on, etc., etc. I would talk to them for HOURS and constantly degrade myself. I was so harsh on myself ever single day I did that. I hated myself for not being like other people who could easily get girls. By doing that, however, I ensured that for the next four years I would never have a girlfriend. When you say something to yourself, your brain uses that. By telling yourself that your a loser, or that you'll never accomplish anything, or that no girl will ever like you, it starts actively working towards that goal. It's self-ensured destruction. It's counter-productivity on the highest level. It's like wanting to build a building, but every time you try and build the foundation, you grab a jackhammer and destroy the newly-hardened concrete. You didn't get anything done, and now you have to start over. See what I mean?
I've been helping other people with this same exact mindset. It's really not easy to deal with at all, but is 100% worth it. So I've come up with a model for helping people become positive. Imagine an angel on one shoulder, and a demon on the other like in a cartoon's depiction of a conscience.
Forget what you know about how this works in cartoons. Never listen to the demon. Unlike in cartoons, he's there to make sure that you make your life a awful and miserable as physically possible. He wants you to hate yourself, he wants you to hate others, he wants you to tell yourself negative things, etc. The angel, on the other hand (or other shoulder, I guess), is your new best friend. Get to know him well, because he's going to be your guide from this point forward. You should listen to him all the time, as he's there to improve your life. He wants you to succeed. He wants you to have good friends. He wants you to finally go out with the girl of your dreams. As long as you listen to him and follow his little 'way points', you'll get there. I can PROMISE you that. If you're having trouble hearing him, tell the demon to go away. It sounds strange, but it works for a little bit. If you keep telling him to leave, (preferably out loud if you can, as it works much better), he'll start going away for longer periods of time. You know he's trying to convince you of things if what he says is negative. For instance: "You're a loser..." ; "You'll never make it in life" ; "You might as well just kill yourself." That's him. He's subtle and conniving, but he can be dealt with.
Going back to your new little friend, you also have to remember that he can't do everything. He can give you advice, but ultimately you're the one who chooses whether or not to listen to him. Speak positive things over yourself, even if they don't seem true in that moment. It can be hard to be nice to yourself and say things like "I'm an amazing person" or "I'm going to have a girlfriend in the future" after having been in a rut your whole life, but the more you say things like that, the more progress you make. It worked for me, and so far it's working for many other people I'm helping. This all takes time, but look at how I turned out. I went from a timid, self-hating, world-hating person to someone who smiles often, loves life, is open and kind, and who has a girl waiting for him when the school year starts again. Just think positive. You're only hurting yourself by agreeing with the negative voices you hear. It doesn't matter what your going through in life, there is ALWAYS a bright side. ALWAYS. Sometimes it's hard to see, but it's there. I can promise you. You are worth something. No matter what you've done in the past, what you've been through, or what anybody thinks of you. You are worth something. And as long as you use positive thinking and try to be happy, your life will get better, as it has done for countless other people, including myself.
Tell me if this helped, or at least showed you a different perspective on how life works. Give yourself an opportunity to turn your life around. If you have any questions or need advice, just PM me and I'll be more than happy to help. Shine bright, friends!
Its sad seeing how this just loops in his head
Loser
Known it for a long while (always will be)
Cant get girls
==> Loser
Its clear this is just a vicious cycle of thought, and if he's been going through that for... 8? 9 years? Just wow....
a schema (plural schemata or schemas) describes a pattern of thought or behavior that organizes categories of information and the relationships among them.[1] It can also be described as a mental structure of preconceived ideas, a framework representing some aspect of the world, or a system of organizing and perceiving new information.[2] Schemata influence attention and the absorption of new knowledge: people are more likely to notice things that fit into their schema, while re-interpreting contradictions to the schema as exceptions or distorting them to fit. Schemata have a tendency to remain unchanged, even in the face of contradictory information.
Loser
Known it for a long while (always will be)
Cant get girls
==> Loser
Its clear this is just a vicious cycle of thought, and if he's been going through that for... 8? 9 years? Just wow....
a schema (plural schemata or schemas) describes a pattern of thought or behavior that organizes categories of information and the relationships among them.[1] It can also be described as a mental structure of preconceived ideas, a framework representing some aspect of the world, or a system of organizing and perceiving new information.[2] Schemata influence attention and the absorption of new knowledge: people are more likely to notice things that fit into their schema, while re-interpreting contradictions to the schema as exceptions or distorting them to fit. Schemata have a tendency to remain unchanged, even in the face of contradictory information.