Top 8 of National Happening When You're Most Busy

Annoying things that you’re expected to do for some reason, or ‘responsibilities’, have once again prevented you from watching yet another Top 8 of a national tournament. As the bulk of the Smash Bros. community happily comes together to watch the resolution of the glorious tournament, you will be pretending to care about what reality throws at you while simultaneously failing at really getting anything done.

You can faintly remember your past self thinking “I wouldn't miss this for the world” with a nostalgic youth-like vigor. Not only are all of your favorite players in attendance, but the pot bonus is the biggest ever in smash history and literally nobody is more excited than you. However, the Universe and its arbitrary laws of fate have ultimately decided that this is as a prime opportunity to be a douche to you.

Oh you were looking forward to something? Let me just irreversibly ruin that for you real quick

This is the third time this month that reality has interfered with your desire to watch competitive Smash Bros., you think to yourself. Is this what hell is like? You've finally completed the responsibility at hand but for some reason the gratification of self-discipline is minuscule compared to how you would've felt watching 2 guys play a video game for money.

Truly it can't get worse than this but lo, ding dong here are your friends and they want to tell you how amazingly awesome the tournament was, and how cool that one part was, all the while making especially sure to remind you how unforgettable it was as you glare at them with bitter resentment.

You probably should be more up for being responsible but whose really keeping count (other than the people liable for you)? You'll begrudgingly get it done despite missing any of the best tournaments that may ever happen on earth. And hey, at least your boss is giving you this upcoming weekend off so you’ll be able to catch one of those sketchy tournaments your local scene host every 2 weeks.

Update: You just watched the VOD’s and were pretty underwhelmed
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William "Wncozens" Cozens


Just finished working on a Saturday + taking care of baby + helping relatives in town for the holidays... to see Showdown Battle Royale finished "an hour ago", per Twitch VOD page. *sigh*