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The Truth About Zelda: Boy Scouts Of... Hyrule?

ThEpEsT

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The Truth About Zelda: Boy Scouts of... Hyrule?

Many fan boys and girls of the very popular “Zelda Series” praise Mr. Shigeru Miyamoto for the creation and game designing of “The Legend of Zelda”, a very successful game franchise, alongside the very notable Mario and Metroid Series'. However, the staff here at PSEUDO-GAMING, Inc. noticed some very surprising, but nonetheless accurate information about how The Legend of Zelda had truly begun:

In 1987, Miyamoto watched a video of an American named James E. West who was demonstrating the values of learning citizenship, outdoorsmanship, and self-esteem by showing how to be prepared in a wildlife environment and other outdoor activities such as camping, aquatics and hiking. But Shigeru, pressured by his company, colleagues, and the Head Of Nintendo (Hiroshi Yamauchi), was rushed to design a new adventure game that would interest even the few uninterested in gaming.

It is arguable that the main character Link was actually taken from the classic hero of Homer's Odyssey, that being the left- handed Odysseus. This is not true, however. In a recent interview, Miyamoto stated, “Link actually came to me in a dream. It took place in a forest. He was wearing a strange uniform, much like the Boy Scout uniform, but slightly different. He had this strange skirt-looking article of clothing on, and I decided to make it into 1 outfit: the tunic.” That still doesn't describe how he became a swordsman with a large arsenal full of a wide variety of different items. Nevertheless, we came to the conclusion that that wasn't all Miyamoto had seen in his dream.

After doing some research about The Boy Scouts of America and the merit badges included in the program, he was only then thrust into this wild imagination of a young man carrying these weapons and useful objects. Any Boy Scout would clearly recognize the objects and their usefulness in the outdoors. And so, Miyamoto was convinced that he needed to include these objects. Let us examine this further as we list each Merit Badge that an item or idea from the game had originated from (starting with some of the more apparent ones):

Archery: Along with a Robin Hood rip-off, Miyamoto loved the idea of Archery and decided to include this in all of the following games. If there is a scout in the world that does not have this merit badge, he is not a true scout. Link is obviously a true scout.

Climbing: Miyamoto knew that if he was going to create a Hero that would be adventurous in the outdoors, he would need to be able to climb almost any climbable wall. A scouting program would sure be the definite reason for Link's knowledge of scaling these walls.

Citizenship In The Nation: I mean look at those Guards. Can you even disagree with this?

First Aid: Every scout has learned that they must include items such as these in their first aid kits: Band-aids, gauze pads, gloves, tweezers, Neosporin, Blue potions, red potions, and fairies. Miyamoto incorporated some of these items into his game, as you can see.

Leatherwork: For this merit badge, scouts are required to learn how to care for their leather objects and even make 2 leather articles. This brought to mind some of Miyamoto's favorite articles he witnessed being made: Quivers, Wallets, Sheaths, Boots, Saddles, Gauntlets, Bigger Wallets, and larger quivers and bags. Link obviously shows signs of how to care of his leather by keeping them in great condition for long periods of time.

Hiking: Same goes for Climbing pretty much. Link does almost more Hiking than all the scouts in the world combined. He is the ultimate scout.

Music: Find it hard to believe that Miyamoto knew nothing about music until he watched James E. West? Believe me, so did we. And so, completely influenced by Mr. West, Miyamoto decided to include music in the games, and it played an important role in each of them.

Bugling: This merit badge was only introduced recently. And so, Miyamoto, following without missing a beat, included this (and other musical types of playing) in the game Legend Of Zelda: Majora's Mask.

Orienteering: Now this is pretty obvious. Every scout is told to carry a compass and a map when they travel. Now Miyamoto figured 'we might as well use it in the games then'. And so, since the first game, the Compass and Dungeon Map were introduced.

Personal Management and Coin Collecting: This goes along the lines of Rupee-saving. You collect many different types of rupees, old or new, and you manage a budget and spend it on things you need. What a sneaky way to incorporate scouts into a video game.

Fishing: This is a pretty old merit badge, but for some reason, Miyamoto didn't include it until the later games. Maybe because it's a lame merit badge. Maybe because fishing is lame period. Who knows, all we know is that he finally decided to add it into gameplay because it became a little more popular in scouting than it had before.

Small-Boat Sailing: This was pretty new to the scouting program, and so Miyamoto brought this wonderful piece of adventure into the works of Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker.

Horsemanship: Miyamoto didn't actually see Mr. West perform the acts of this merit badge on video, but he did happen to do some research on this. This is the reason Link is so good with horses.

Wood Carving: A fairly old merit badge that requires one to make an object out of wood. Mr. West chose a shield. That's right, even the very same Deku Shield model, which Miyamoto got the idea from.

Swordsmanship: Miyamoto enjoyed this one the most. He knew right away this is what his Hero should use as a main weapon type and use it in all of the following games. This covers Fencing, Sword Care, Sword Sharpening, Sword Battling, and a few other activities in the merit badge that Link is very well capable of performing in each game.

Bomb-Making: This popular merit badge taught how to create bombs and other explosives. This one was my personal favorites when I was a scout. Such requirements included making “movable bombs”, “water-explosives”, and even keg bombs. Miyamoto surely created his own variety of these bombs to include them into the game.

There are tons more examples that are far too complicated to go into detail about, but some of the other Merit Badges include: Dog Care, Astronomy, Bird Study, Fire Safety, Forestry, Volcanostry, Nature, Insect Study, Metalwork, Swimming, Photography, Plant Science, Snow Sports, Theater, Weather, Wilderness Survival, Potions, Reptile Study, Arachnid Study, Gardening, Etiquette, Non-Verbal Communications, and many more.

Miyamoto even forces you to follow the Scout Law throughout the games by being: Trustworthy (making promises to minor characters and keeping them), Loyal (to his leaders and to Hyrule's highest in command) Helpful (fulfilling sidequests), Friendly (Link is forced to become friends to many), Courteous (Blowing those freakin' boulders out of the way for people to get through), Kind (have you ever heard Link say something mean?), Obedient (You do what you are asked. It is involuntary. Otherwise you cannot beat the game), Cheerful (Link's optimistic. He encourages his rescuees to look on the bright side before he saves them. And he's just generally happy), Thrifty (Link only spends his resources when he needs to), Brave (C'mon. I mean he's got the flippin' Triforce of Courage.), Clean (After swimming in lakes and water tanks all the time, yeah, I'd think he's pretty clean), and Reverent (Link treats the Goddesses and Temple of Time with respect).

Not only that, but Miyamoto even modified the Scout Motto, which is “Be Prepared”, for the motto of Hyrule, as you can see on the eastern wall of Hyrule Town in Twilight Princess: “Be Prepared for Anything and Everything.”

Are these merely coincidences? It is very unlikely. Based on the evidence, the answer to this mystery is obvious. Link, and almost all of Zelda in general, is based on Boy Scouts of America, because of a nice impression given to Miyamoto himself. However, another interview with Miyamoto will clear any and all incorrect speculations. This is Mr. H. from PSEUDO-GAMING, Inc.

Peace out, ya'll!
 

Foxman15

Smash Journeyman
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Jan 26, 2007
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MN
If I interpret this correctly, you think that Shigeru did not have any creative input on the game, and just based the gameplay around how boyscouts earn badges? Quite frankly I believe you wasted a lot of time writing this out and doing your "research" regarding your horrificly pintless topic. I personally think it's a sin trying to think about how Shigeru Miyamoto thinks. Mindgames, son!
 

demoncaterpie

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Um, Miyamoto came up with the concept of Zelda from exploring the forest and caves around his home as a child.

You were so close to coming up with a convincing argument, but some of your "evidence" just doesn't make any sense. Leather work? The Elder Scroll games have gauntlets, I suppose that's based off Eagle Scouts than right?

And now for the worst statement in your analysis.

Music: Find it hard to believe that Miyamoto knew nothing about music until he watched James E. West? Believe me, so did we. And so, completely influenced by Mr. West, Miyamoto decided to include music in the games, and it played an important role in each of them.
Oh wait, I take it back, this totally makes sense. Miyamoto knew nothing about music until James West showed him everything. This is why you only here bleeps and blorps in the Super Mario Brothers games.

Plan this out a little better next time. Make sure all your evidence makes sense. Even one shaky argument can through your entire proposal in the shredder.
 

ThEpEsT

Smash Apprentice
Joined
Nov 17, 2005
Messages
112
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Fresno, CA
Thank you Tom. These guys obviously aren't getting the joke. Sheesh, the sense of humors these days. o_O

Obviously you other guys didn't read through the whole thing, because you'd been able to tell it was a joke. First of all, Bomb-Making Merit Badge? Half the things I put on here are made up (including sayings and merit badges).
 

demoncaterpie

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Abra abra cadabra. I wanna reach out and grab ya!
Thank you Tom. These guys obviously aren't getting the joke. Sheesh, the sense of humors these days. o_O

Obviously you other guys didn't read through the whole thing, because you'd been able to tell it was a joke. First of all, Bomb-Making Merit Badge? Half the things I put on here are made up (including sayings and merit badges).
Whoops, my bad. You have to understand though that we get so many crappy stories/essays/analysis that I can't tell when someone's joking or not.

Since this is a joke, you need to make the satire a little more obvious. Right now you just sound like another crazy good rambling on about their theories. Make this stand out as a joke more, and I guarantee you'll get a lot more laughs.
 

SN3S

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Aug 26, 2006
Messages
194
After reading that, I just wanted to go join the boy scouts so I could learn to make Water bombs...

Darn.
 

ThEpEsT

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Nov 17, 2005
Messages
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LOL SN3S.

Well, demon, the best jokes ARE told completely seriously. But how can I make the humor and ridiculousness stand out more? I'm always open for suggestions.
 

demoncaterpie

Smash Champion
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I think the biggest problem is that it's too convincing. You have a lot of evidence that unfortunately makes sense, mixed in with some lesser information that could still be argued towards. Case in point, you actually make a good argument.

To make this more of a joke, you have to make it more ridiculous. Not too ridiculous, but enough so that we can go "Holy crap, this is funny stuff!"

Maybe if you make a point about people who believe in crazy theories about video games, that might spice it up a bit. Look at "A Modest Proposal". Swift obviously didn't want us to eat babies, but by saying this he made a point about the upper class.

That's all I can think of. Hope it helps:)
 
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