The Social Thread that is Generally for the... Well, Socially Challenged

[Doc Monocle]

Judging from my mains and my philosophies (if you are familiar with them), it is not difficult to tell I have a special place for those looked down upon or disadvantaged. After looking for similar threads, I was inspired by a small number, started by members with social anxiety, to make this one. However, this is a social thread which broadly encompasses anyone who feels socially 'disenfranchised'.

If anyone posting here has trouble interacting with others or getting output for their input, I shall try to make myself available. Only, I ask that all posters herein be respectful, observe global rules (including most emphatically FLAMING and TROLLING, each defined in the Forum Rules), and be unafraid to ask for company while in this thread. I am willing, if I am able, to respond. No one need worry of being ignored, provided they follow the rules.

Others are welcome too, but this thread is devoted primarily to people who have trouble with other avenues of outlet, and I shall try not to be harsh or judgmental. I also appreciate any feedback on my responses, as it is most helpful in recognizing my interactive shortcomings.

Enough said. WELCOME ALL!

 

[Oracle Link]

Hi im socially challenged but i think we should stay in our Conversation

Hah yeah its dumb when you make a thread and nobody answers to it!

Thats Rough Buddy!

 

[Doc Monocle]

Hi im socially challenged but i think we should stay in our Conversation

Hah yeah its dumb when you make a thread and nobody answers to it!

Thats Rough Buddy!

The purpose of this thread was simply to inform people that they are invited by me if they have trouble finding other avenues of outlet, so there is no harm done. I am glad if not many feel they need it.

 

[Ben Holt]

My social challenge is mostly just the fear that people won't like me. I'm certainly WILLING to interact with people, but I struggle with "reading people". Though dormant at the moment, I often struggle from depressive spells, which makes me a burden on people, so they dump me, which makes me sadder and more reluctant to make friends.
I hold everyone dearly. I don't ever fully stop caring; I merely learn to accept that someone is gone. This also applies to my romantic life. My love style is polyamory, which means I love multiple partners. To me, the idea that you may only love one romantic partner is as absurd as the idea that you can only love one child. I am a complex individual with complex needs, so I need multiple partners to love me in their own unique ways.
I have an analogy I use with my therapist to describe my social anxiety: marbles.
As a child, I had a bag of fisheye marbles. They were all green except the big marble; it was red. So red marbles are extra special. A bag of marbles is like a social group. Every individual marble is special, but they get lost easily, and it is always upsetting. But I can always buy a new bag of marbles by joining another social group, but I know that those marbles will also be lost eventually. Every once in a while, I find a special red marble among the common greens. Red marbles are extra precious. They can be lost just as easily as any common green marble, but losing a red marble is far more than upsetting; it is an outright tragedy.
I wish for red marbles in my life, but I fear losing them at any time, which will break my heart once again and drive me back into depression.

 

[Doc Monocle]

My social challenge is mostly just the fear that people won't like me. I'm certainly WILLING to interact with people, but I struggle with "reading people". Though dormant at the moment, I often struggle from depressive spells, which makes me a burden on people, so they dump me, which makes me sadder and more reluctant to make friends.
I hold everyone dearly. I don't ever fully stop caring; I merely learn to accept that someone is gone. This also applies to my romantic life. My love style is polyamory, which means I love multiple partners. To me, the idea that you may only love one romantic partner is as absurd as the idea that you can only love one child. I am a complex individual with complex needs, so I need multiple partners to love me in their own unique ways.
I have an analogy I use with my therapist to describe my social anxiety: marbles.
As a child, I had a bag of fisheye marbles. They were all green except the big marble; it was red. So red marbles are extra special. A bag of marbles is like a social group. Every individual marble is special, but they get lost easily, and it is always upsetting. But I can always buy a new bag of marbles by joining another social group, but I know that those marbles will also be lost eventually. Every once in a while, I find a special red marble among the common greens. Red marbles are extra precious. They can be lost just as easily as any common green marble, but losing a red marble is far more than upsetting; it is an outright tragedy.
I wish for red marbles in my life, but I fear losing them at any time, which will break my heart once again and drive me back into depression.

It is never easy to lose someone you hold fast to. It is simply a fact of life that you cannot keep all of your company. Making this worse, the more friends you have, the more effort you must exert to retain them. Therein lies, if you ask me, the key to friendship. What friend is it if they require your effort to retain? The best friends remain your friends after you make mistakes. That is not to say you should be in any manner discourteous to your friends (and you would deserve to lose them if you were intentionally disrespectful), but the key to an eternal friendship is unconditional love. That is, the friend looks out for your best interest (whether you like it or not), regardless of how much you reciprocate this. Though this does place a responsibility upon the individual to be faithful to their friends. For a similar reason, I would not recommend being involved with multiple romantic interests, as it is at least medically dangerous, and puts a strain on your relationship with each member of that set. It would also reassure each of those people (presuming the normalcy of their social judgment) that they are truly valued by you if you limit your romantic affection to only one person. As I have said before, true friends are eternal, and you do not need to worry about losing them.

My advice for looking for these people: (1) Search for those who can forgive and overlook wrong without being unwilling to admonish it. A truly loving person will point out errors in the hopes that you correct them, for they care about whether you suffer the consequences. Such caring individuals will be stern about your repentance from wrong-doing. (2) Search for those who listen to you without being judgmental (meaning inclined to make decisions about what you are) or hot-tempered; who are civil-minded. (3) Search for those who question their own actions. These people desire to do right (and do not encourage them to stop pondering). (4) Search for those who are willing to acknowledge their own wrongs when admonished for them. (5) Search for those who are humble and modest; not showy and provocative of jealousy. They keep their interactions low-key and personal. (6) Search for those who are patient and self-controlled. These people are clear thinkers who seek the best course of action. (7) Search for people who are kind and willing to be accommodating without expecting anything in return. These are the most genuinely charitable. These sound like they cannot be found all at once, but if you truly (and I mean TRULY) find one of these qualities in a person, you are off to a good start. (8) Finally, search for thos who strive to exhibit all of the above characteristics in exceeding measure, for these are people of light.