The "Johns of Anther's Ladder" thread. Post the funniest johns you've encountered!

[Deleted member]

And to top it all off, I just had someone go afk because, and I quote, "I'm googling how to DI Samus's up b, I'm tired of getting 81% damage mid match." His name was Zypher on Anther's Ladder. It honestly made my day.

What's the funniest johns you've heard on Anther's Ladder?

 

[Sudoi]

Never did netplay, but holy ****, I'm watching this thread.

 

[Dolla Pills]

After whopping someone with Fox, Falco, Falcon, Marth, Samus, and Sheik:
"F***ing p***y"

Not even a John but it was pretty hilarious

 

[StaffofSmashing]

Like no lag, 4 stock a dude with Marth against a Fox who tried to 20xx on me
"You're just button mashing."
Uh I beat someone with like Roy in Endless Friendlies because yolo.
"My parents were talking to me."

 

[Michelangelo]

4 stocked someone first game and he said: yeah i've been only playing for 3 days. Checked his profile and saw he had been playing for 5 months. When i said that he just left.

 

[EPsilon933]

Everything ephoenix has ever said. It's been years since I last played him regularly. The only John that sticks out in my memory was him complaining that Melee is dumb because playing to win is about abusing glitches. Not really a john though, just a complaint

 

[-ACE-]

Never did netplay, but holy ****, I'm watching this thread.

Lol same.

 

[X WaNtEd X]

This isn't a john, but a funny netplay story.

One time on netplay, I was really drunk and accidentally reported the first game in a Bo5 set as a win before it even started. My opponent asked me what I was doing. I realized I ****ed up, but decided to roll with it and make it fun. So I told him he could "dispute it if he won ". He thought it was pretty funny.

I win the first game, but that wasn't enough. I decided to intentionally report the next two games games as wins before I even played them. Fortunately, I got the 3-0. But the guy wound up **** talking me at the end for amount of disrespect I committed both in and out of the game. I wish I had a screen shot of the conversation. It was glorious lol.

 

[Sudoi]

This isn't a john, but a funny netplay story.

One time on netplay, I was really drunk and accidentally reported the first game in a Bo5 set as a win before it even started. My opponent asked me what I was doing. I realized I ****ed up, but decided to roll with it and make it fun. So I told him he could "dispute it if he won ". He thought it was pretty funny.

I win the first game, but that wasn't enough. I decided to intentionally report the next two games games as wins before I even played them. Fortunately, I got the 3-0. But the guy wound up **** talking me at the end for amount of disrespect I committed both in and out of the game. I wish I had a screen shot of the conversation. It was glorious lol.

This. This is beautiful.

 

[Scervo]

I beat a guy in every single match I played against him, I was playing fox at first. I ended up also beating him with a character I literally do not play at all, and then he went into general chat after the match and said "I was finally better than someone I got matched against and then they started spamming upsmash because fox is broken"

I just pretended not to see it lol he lost like 12 games in a row "because upsmash is broken"

 

[Happens2u]

I repeatedly 4-stocked a guy with samus, then switched to marth and won three games, then switched to sheik then fox (characters I don't really play at all) and narrowly lost 2 games. He was really salty and after every loss would salty runback so it would reload without going to the CSS.

After we finished he told me I was trash and that I had no close range game and I was "using range too much" whatever that is. He also used me losing as sheik and fox as evidence that I was a one-trick pony with samus, despite beating him with marth. I told him he needed to stop standing lasering and fullhop fairing my shield lol.

 

[RyseEX]

I was playing Ics and told him I was going to play sopo because I need the practice as an ics main and when I 2-0ed him he started saying that I shouldn't do that on ranked and that I should try my hardest against him. After he was finished talking I told him that was my hardest as a sopo and he processed to cuss at me and s*it talk me

 

[RyseEX]

Another time I was playing against a fox and 3 stocked him first game after that he went peaxch and got 2 stocked because I wobbled peach. After the games he told me he should have won and that the only reason I won is because I'm playing a broke ass character and that I shouldn't wobble when I was in bronze and he was gold 2

 

[Deleted member]

Got a new one, this one was so angry that he ended up playing Doctor Mario (a lot of players tend to do with with me and expect to win everytime), so when they don't the salt starts pouring in:

Here's the video , the guy gets a sandy vagina at around 30 seconds in: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hNiExSTEdPU&feature=youtu.be. At 0:38 you can hear him message me on Anther's Ladder telling me to "keep running away."

This guy's a true diamond in the rough.

 

[HermitHelmet]

I remember I played against this dude who played Marth, one game on Stadium and he quit, lol

"Yeah, just play gay op characters like falco"

:^)

 

[SteelCityMewtwo]

I play somewhat frequently against someone who told me he hated all the top tiers.

The list of characters he hates and complains about has been expanded to include Mewtwo, Samus, Doc and Pichu.

 

[Kankato]

I play somewhat frequently against someone who told me he hated all the top tiers.

The list of characters he hates and complains about has been expanded to include Mewtwo, Samus, Doc and Pichu.

It sounds to me like he hates losing in general. Maybe he should learn fundamental neutral game before he starts complaining.

 

[Squire]

Not a johns story, but one time I was playing with a guy who told me he was streaming. He was being kind of rude in the chat, so after a fair amount of friendlies he left, so I looked on twitch to see if I could find his channel...

...I checked out his last broadcast, and it was basically 30 minutes of him raging about me to himself. He really did not like Mario's dsmash....

 

[Summate]

Wrecking a Fox by 4 stocks. His John? "Lag. Try putting the buffer lower." The buffer was perfectly fine for the latency (which was like 55ms or so) and dropping it degraded the quality of the gameplay, but I did it anyway. The result? Same thing. He quit after that.

 

[Jesus!]

http://imgur.com/a/mAELR

he didn't like it when i wobbled

edit: game 1 he quit after losing a stock to my wobble then my sopo
game 2 his marf beat me
game 3 basically same thing as game1

 

[SteelCityMewtwo]

It sounds to me like he hates losing in general. Maybe he should learn fundamental neutral game before he starts complaining.

Yeah it's interesting. He insists he doesn't hate Melee, just, uh, every discrete aspect of Melee, I guess. But he's a friend of mine who lives far away so I play with him anyway. In real life he's fun and chill. I think netplay brings out the least fun parts of Smash for some people.

 

[Deleted member]

Got another scrub for ya.

In other news, I am apparently now Mew2King.

 

[Deleted member]

http://imgur.com/a/mAELR

he didn't like it when i wobbled

edit: game 1 he quit after losing a stock to my wobble then my sopo
game 2 his marf beat me
game 3 basically same thing as game1

LOL Canadian *** ass. I think he might have been making up excuses...just a little.

 

[GenNyan]

Got another scrub for ya.

In other news, I am apparently now Mew2King.

Idk man, that's almost a compliment. He said you played well and compared you to a god. At some point it doesn't even matter if he was being sarcastic or not.

 

[Deleted member]

Idk man, that's almost a compliment. He said you played well and compared you to a god. At some point it doesn't even matter if he was being sarcastic or not.

I'm honestly honored. I mean, even I didn't know I was M2K.

 

[Dolla Pills]

I'm honestly honored. I mean, even I didn't know I was M2K.

Do you even want to be m2k at this point

 

[Zi^]

> does you has dolphin?

 

[Coze]

I'm honestly honored. I mean, even I didn't know I was M2K.

I have a receeding hairline and my hands hurt after one game but even I'm not m2k. Nice.

 

[-ACE-]

Yo i have a receding hairline but m2k is straight esam bald LOL

 

[iAmMatt]

So there's quite a story behind this salt.

I launched my browser after getting home from work, tired and just wanting to play some melee with some good players (not implying that this guy wasn't good, he was insane at marth dittos). I met this one guy, and he came off nice enough. He bodied me in marth dittos, (3-stocked me), and after that I switched to my primary puff. I started beating him, using some pretty aggressive tactics (lots of uthrow tech chases, aggressive fairs, and the like). This is where the sale began.
http://imgur.com/MLqDpwZ
I started to play dumb, claiming that I played puff because I like pokemon. Following that, we played a match where I 4-stocked him while only reaching 99%. Taking advantage of this, I said "Not even 100%, in damage or effort." He started calling me things like "kid", so that was pretty funny.
http://imgur.com/B90A2ZO
He then switched off of marth and went on to play fox. From there he went to falco. I'm really good at puff v falco, so that only made me laugh. He told me to "stfu", and I said I was sorry and that I like trash talk. He claimed that he never plays melee, even though he was consistent at waveshining/pillaring. He also claimed that my character was "skilless" (which I'm not gonna deny lol), but I told him that at least it wasn't a sheik. He calls me a "c***", so then I stopped trash talking for a match.
http://imgur.com/ozfs1kX
I let him know that he was good at marth dittos, and he claimed that most people played marth (passive-aggressively, of course). We play some more, and I ended a falco v puff with a 4-stock and a really nice rest. I said to him "too bad taunt out of rest isn't a combo lol jk", and he salty ragequit. I said "lol, b8d", and he "reportedf" me.

All in all, I'm pretty satisfied with this one.

 

[Coze]

Yo i have a receding hairline but m2k is straight esam bald LOL

So am I (never lucky.)

 

[Deleted member]

HURR DURR RIP BRO

 

[Deleted member]

 

[Spak]

I don't wanna be that guy, but make sure to blur out the other player's name. It's in the site rules (Rule #10) that you agreed to when you got an Anther's account and I don't want there to be a massive SWF player ban if Anther ever finds this thread lol.

 

[iAmMatt]

I don't wanna be that guy, but make sure to blur out the other player's name. It's in the site rules (Rule #10) that you agreed to when you got an Anther's account and I don't want there to be a massive SWF player ban if Anther ever finds this thread lol.

Welp, I was already banned. Probably because of this. I try and log in to the ladder, but I can't connect to chat. It doesn't even give me the option to do so.

 

[Jesus!]

http://imgur.com/QvBUW6m

will start blurring out named from now on

 

[Sutekh]

This is starting to become less "Johns of Anthers Ladder" and more "Being an ass hole for likes on Anthers Ladder".

 

[Deleted member]

I "like" how these scrubs line up to make johns.

 

[MKarma]

I "like" how these scrubs line up to make johns.

it was mentioned before that anther's ladder does not allow you to post private chat logs without their permission, might want to blur the names.

 

[TehKrakens]

I've come across quite the number of ragequiters on the P+ discord. Not too many people use Anther's Ladder anymore. But for sure, this discord has a handful of salty scrubs!

If you're ever on the P+ discord, watch out, there's a good chance someone will ragequit just because you start gaining the upper hand after 2 games.

Take user "Pineapple" for example. Plays two games, I start getting the upper hand on the third, then immediately ragequits just because he can't handle samus's up out of shield and missiles and needs to make excuses about it. He says he beat me earlier two games ago, yet things were going smoothly for him until he started running into a nice screw attack in his face, then BAM: easy ragequit.

https://imgur.com/a/eTj7Y8H
https://imgur.com/a/kguU7nv

See how he types an essay for me once I call him out? I really don't call that being better if that's your reason for being so salty. You either have the upper hand, or your cryin'. And in this case...>_> I beg him to stop typing. I mean, people just don't out maneuver Samus at all and run up to her to get a nice screw attack in the face. Yikes, watch out for this guy.