Roast your favorite character

[Rie Sonomura]

Because who’s to say you can’t criticize something you love?

Sister thread to “Say something nice about your least favorite character” - the thread’s title is self explanatory. Nitpick on your favorite character’s flaw, etc. Like in the sister thread, try to avoid attacking the character’s fan base even if you like said character. Otherwise, go nuts.

 

[Cosmic77]

Sakurai had to add Lumas to your moveset because he realized you'd be completely useless without them.

I'm sorry, Rosa. Don't hate me.

 

[Rie Sonomura]

Shulk, you REALLY gotta stop with the “I’M REALLY FEELING IT”. It’s getting to be annoying

And “Now it’s Shulk time”? Please. Everyone with common sense knows it’s always REYN TIME, BABY! /meme

(I’m sorry Shulk)

 

[Frizz]

:ultrobin - Why are you so slow? In Awakening, you have a 50% base growth rate in Speed, and a 15% base class growth rate in Speed! That's a 65% total growth rate in Speed! More than half the time, you'll gain a point in your Speed stat! You shouldn't be the slowest character in Smash at all! Maybe you should lay off the bear meat, fatty. I guess when you say "time to tip the scales", you mean it literally.

It's ironic because I actually don't have that much of a problem with his speed in Smash.

 

[Opossum]

Judging by his in-game model, that Falcon Punch had some long term effects.

 

[Admiral Pit]

You may be handsome and adorable, but you can be such a dweeb sometimes. And your blushing is too cute to where I actually wouldn't mind teasing you occasionally just to see your mighty fluster. And why can't you glide anymore? That was one of your funnest abilities ever!

(Am I doing it right? And I was referencing Brawl about his gliding.)

 

[ThoughtfulWanderer]

I can't tell if that's a hairstyle or soft-serve ice cream.

 

[Deleted member]

"Shulk has potential."

 

[War Anvil]

Dude, what happened to your games? Help SEGA help you - and stop doing everything on your own!

 

[nirvanafan]

Corrin may be my favorite fighter in smash but I am not a big fan of his/her character in Fates, especially when compared to other more likable characters in the same game like Felicia, Niles, Sakura, etc.

 

[Deleted member]

- No Hookshot or Clawshot? Really? I know neither was in BotW, but OoT Adult Link never used the boomerang until Smash 64 either.
- His Holy Water flame looks to be exactly like Simon's minus the color. It doesn't move forward like in Rondo of Blood and Richter's subsequent playable appearances.

 

[Flyboy]

: why is that your final smash it doesn't DO anything. At least in Brawl I could trap opponents in the spiral beam. You're so slow to charge it now! I love you but please! Please, dude! Get a better final smash!

 

[SmashBro99]

This is where having a bunch of favorites is gonna hurt.

- Diddy Kong Racing was just Mario Kart with not so important characters!

- Your games are all the same...wait no he has rpgs and spinoffs and I enjoy those...um. Forever friend zoned?

- Will never get a true canon moveset because stubborn old asian man.

- Too easy fatso.

- Derpy.

 

[Kijiickimana]

- Bowser Jr. is just low tier sonic with ****ty projectiles
- Doesn't know how to do his ****ing taxes smh
- Peaked in high school (Brawl)
- Bro, they made an HD remake of Frogger!

 

[AIM0001]

- So did you change your name to just Dedede, after King K. Rool knocked your @** out into oblivion??

- Ms. Pac-Man was better. Like waaaay better.

- My favorite 3D Sonic game is Super Smash Bros. Ultimate.

- Your voice in Smash 4 sounded like clips of Xander Mobus practicing voice acting during puberty when he was 13.

- So are we just going to act like Ridley didn’t kill Mario in like 3 seconds? Something you couldn’t do in 3 decades!

- Why were you all off a sudden able to learn PK Thunder,Fire, and Star Storm for Smash? Let’s talk about this because I really needed you to know these abilities in Mother 2.

 

[Ramen Tengoku]

Corrin... Quite the "Corny" Name... Don't ya think?
The only reason she's in is because Nintendo forced her in against Sakurai's will
Why are you still in Smash? You haven't been relevant lately...

 

[osby]

If it wasn't for you, we would have a dire lack of generic bubbly anime girls in Smash.

 

[Primal Cookie]

In the height of your power, you failed to defeat a 100+ year old man and woman.
“Has potential”

 

[Putuk]

Gee, you use almost as much hairgel as Cloud.

 

[Rie Sonomura]

Hate to say it, , but you’re kind of a ***** whenever you defeat Marth, Ike or Robin. Do you kiss your father on the cheek with that mouth?

- it’s high time you got a new voice actor. I’m tired of those memed-to-death dialogue lines (barring Falcon Punch)

- Marth and Roy speak English now, what’s your excuse? (Yes I know it’s because of Union VO issues just let me have this)

- good lord woman what happened to your face from For to now

 

[Mogisthelioma]

: Sakurai had to voice you in Smash because your voice actor in the anime was so lame



(I actually think his voice actor in the anime was hilarious and I wish he did it in Smash but this is for the sake of the thread.)

 

[Arymle Roseanne]

Give me any reason why they been hiding more information about you for Ultimate, I so curious to see what's changed about you this time.


You were really bad in the previous installment, please get buffs this time.


Since you left your home, your secretary is out to kill you now, how does that feel?


It was a real shame that you missed out on the last installment, you would have been easy money for dlc at least.

 

[Vanguard227]

- Why is your sword shrinking? you leave it in the pool for too long, or something?
- Why don't you ever use Ragnell's sword beam? You're also one of the faster lords in Fire Emblem, why are you so lazy and slow in Smash? Although I guess that once you've defeated a goddess, all of your fights afterwards would be a tad bit underwhelming.
- Remember that one ability you have where you shoot like, five powerful laser beams all at once at people? you forget how to do that, or something? Also, just reminding you that you can fly, when your chunky ass is trying to recover.
- Why must you insist on using one of the worst bows in Breath of the Wild, when you use a much better one in your final smash? Also, Revali's Gale would make your recovery like five times better; just sayin'.
- Do I even need to say anything? "YOU AIN'T NO AIR FIGHTER, MAC!"

Luv you guys.

 

[Sari]

What's a Wario Land?
The not-as-good Mario
Ice skating simulator

 

[Cyn]

- We all know you’re Zelda under that face crap. You aren’t fooling anybody. Why don’t you put those skills to use when you’re wearing a dress?

 

[ZephyrZ]

Oh boy, I've been waiting to do this.
- Why is it nearly impossible to see your nose? And what the heck is up with your voice?
- I know anime characters have large foreheads but this is ridiculous. The more I look at it, the more your face just freaks me out. And you don't even have an alt with sunglasses? Laaaaame.
- No one cares about awkward middle stages. Bulbasaur is way cuter and far more loved then you'll ever be.
- You think your a ""cooler"" Dragonite, but in reality you're just some goofy, overweight lizard with wings.
- What are those protrusions sticking out of your head supposed to be? Horns? Ears? And what is up with that freaky neck tube? Why did your creators think that was necessary?

 

[staindgrey]

Smash isn't even out yet and you're already less popular than a magic crown that turns other people into Peach clones.

 

[Deleted member]

-Your series is more dead than My Space and Justin Bieber's career. That's just sad.

 

[Good Guy Giygas]

- I know you're going for the whole "hardened war hero" thing, but would it kill you to use a cough drop once in awhile?
- Are you capable of any other responses besides "okay?"
- He-Man called, he wants his look back.
- Get out of here, no one likes you!
- Just because you got a facelift doesn't mean you're still welcome here.

 

[Mariomaniac45213]

- You're haters already said everything about you under the sun so there's nothing left for me to call you.

- You're TOO BIG for Smash! But not Ultimate though..

- Everything Cranky Kong said about you was true and then some...

- The only thing that loves you more than me is Rule 34...

- You know who's fun to play and is very fast paced, Yoshi? You! You know what isn't? Your series!

- I guess White Men really can't jump...

- How do you even have a daughter Chrom? This will be your first time Smashing.... it's sad when you're own daughter has Smashed more than you.

- Hey Wario. You claim to own a Land but I don't know WARE it is....

- The only thing more overused and played out than you is Nintendo's obsession with the NES... (Buy Nintendo Switch Online today!)

- The 3rd best canine in Smash!

- Dededeez nutz!

- You look like if Raggedy Anne and the word generic had a baby....

- Your series may be dead and irrelevant but once Ultimate releases...future appearances by you will be too!

- That awkward moment when you look better in a spin-off game made by Koei-Tecmo than you do in Smash Bros...

- You're the best **** of the walk around! By that...I mean you're just a ****...

- You're the best clone to ever grace Smash Bros! Only behind every Fire Emblem character not named Marth.

- You're clearly not meant to take over the family business. Have you tried day care?

- Don't you live under a bridge or something? I could've sworn I saw you laughing at a homeless man trying to shoot ducks for food once...

- Smash Ultimate is the best life support a character could ask for!

- Tell me again why is Luigi the one constantly in the shadows? He has about 10 times the amount of personality and charm than you do and does everything you can do but better! Hell you even saved his girlfriend once and she went straight to him. I heard their relationship is going strong! What about yours Mario? Oh that's right she denied your proposal and was gonna leave you on the moon. Guess good guys DO always finish last...

 

[Rie Sonomura]

Oh man thought of another one for

You may be high tier in this game...but it won’t bring Aerith back.

 

[Demonfunds]

-Perhaps the reason you failed protecting Hyrule the first time around was because you lacked the communication skills needed, learn to talk
-Maybe if you decided you use your magic instead of trying to imitate , then you'd might be top tier for once

 

[Hydrualic Hydra]

Look here, you pineapple-headed loser, if you had some better frame data and a more consistent jab maybe your father wouldn't have disowned you.

 

[Zinith]

In terms of "overall," I can't do it. He's a perfect being!!!

In terms of "Smash," WHY CAN'T YOU EAT ITEMS?!!!

 

[Deleted member]

my 80 year old grandfather could beat you in a race.

 

[lightdrago]

You’re fast in your games. Why aren’t you fast in this one? Don’t you see ? He’s got a big sword and he’s fast. Why can’t you be fast?!

 

[colder_than_ice]

:ultrobin - Too quote Sonic, “You’re too slow”.

- Are you still feeling that SSB4 nerf. That looked painful.

- Ice Climber was a terrible retro game even for its time. Also chain grabbing is cheap.

 

[TheTrueBrawler]

- You were part of both reasons why the final wave of DLC back in Smash 4 was so horrible. You and Corrin are both sword fighters, so last wave of DLC raised the amount of sword fighters in the game from 12 to 14. You and Bayonetta dominated the meta way too much for any fighting game to be called decent. Way to put a "pay to win" label on what was a good fighting game. Also, your palette swaps suck. They're worse than Jigglypuff to be honest.

- You were always short of being the best. You could never overcome Fox nor Falco and struggled to be better than Sheik back in the Smash Melee days. Lets not forget that Meta Knight absolutely destroyed you back in Smash Brawl. You wouldn't even be viable today in Smash 4 if it wasn't for balance patches. Also, how did you manage to let Roy, Lucina, and Chrom all copy your move set? Two of them hardly put any work into being unique.

- People wanted Sonic as a third party more than you in spite of the fact that fans were still happy you made it in. You got cut from a major Smash Bros game, and that defiantly hurts a lot. You also couldn't compete against Meta Knight in the one game you were featured in.

- You had some of the most broken grab combos in every game you were featured in to this date. Like Snake, you were also cut from a major Smash Bros title, and that hurts even more considering you were featured in two Smash Bros games in a row. For the third time, you couldn't compete against Meta Knight in Smash Brawl.

- You literally broke Smash Brawl with how overpowered you were. It got to a point where tournaments either out right banned you or altered the stage list to hurt your presence which did next to nothing to do its intended job. You are also one of the fan favorites in the eyes of edge lords.

 

[Kevandre]

- Why you gotta have a USELESS down-B? Who the hell wants to play as Squirtle/Charizard when you're so much better? PM is best version of you fam

:ultrobin - Damn David Vincent, it's "TIME to tip the scales," not "Let's tip the scales" you gooseberry

- Why can't I like your games?!!?

 

[Deleted member]

:ultrobin - Damn David Vincent, it's "TIME to tip the scales," not "Let's tip the scales" you gooseberry

- It's "Die, monster. You don't belong in this world!" not "Begone! You don't belong in this word, monster!" That's twice you've misquoted your character, Mr. Vincent.

(And yes, I'm sure the change was made to keep it family friendly.)