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Quipping Intros

NintendoKnight

Smash Lord
Joined
Oct 26, 2013
Messages
1,735
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Climbing the mountain I made from a molehill
NNID
Nin-Knight
I'm a big fan of the witty character-specific intros used by NetherRealm Studios in Mortal Kombat X and Injustice 2. I love the amount of glibness each character usually gives another just before the fight starts. Perhaps it's one of the reasons why I like Spider-Man so much.

I digress. What I want to do here is to open up a topic for everyone to post their own Smash Bros intros with the same amount of snark employed in the aforementioned games.

Here's the formula of how it works:
___________________________
*Character A and B walk in*

*Character A starts dialogue*

*Character B retorts*

*Character A finishes statement*
___________________________

Now, one of the best parts of these types of intros is that they must be kept character consistent. Don't make one of the Smashers say something completely out-of-character for them. (i.e. Mario being ultra hateful, Sonic being emo, or worst of all: Samus being an overly-aggressive and insufferably temperamental brute.)

Now, you're allowed for the characters to get upset, but not beyond personality. Heck, if you want their conversation to be friendly, that's fine too. Mortal Kombat X had a number of intros were there just for the sheer hilarity and comedic affect (A.K.A. anything said by Johnny Cage).

(Also, I understand that the characters who canonically cannot speak to everyone else is hard to work with. For that purpose, Kirby, Donkey, Diddy, all Pokemon save Lucario and Mewtwo, Duck Hunt, ROB, Mr. G&W, and Yoshi may want to be avoided. (Oh, and before you say anything, Link CAN talk.))

Last note: feel free to use any character in the series. You're not limited to Sm4sh characters. Wolf, Snake, and the Ice Climbers are fair game.

I'll start us off with a few examples:

*Pit and Ike walk in*

Pit: So Ike, who exactly are your friends?

Ike: Everyone back home.

Pit: That means you're fighting for everyone in your world?! That's SO COOL!!

*Snake and Mewtwo walk in*

Snake: I heard you can read thoughts...

Mewtwo: I can read you like an open book.

Snake: Then you know how this ends.

*Zelda and Cloud walk in*

Zelda: Is my presence a burden to you?

Cloud: You remind me... of someone I know.

Zelda: Your fight isn't with me, then.
 
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FamilyTeam

This strength serves more than me alone.
Joined
Nov 15, 2015
Messages
2,332
Location
South America
NNID
MontanaCity
I don't trust the Smash devs with making characters actually in character in situations like that.
Doesn't KoF do this too? I think it does.
 

JagerCry

Smash Cadet
Joined
Apr 13, 2017
Messages
35
Location
Tri-state
*Marth and Lucina both walk into a diner and order the same meal. The total comes to $5 each. Marth puts $6 on the table. Lucina puts down $5. Marth looks at Lucina disparagingly.*
Marth says "you're really only going to leave five bucks?" Lucina replies "I'm incapable of leaving a tipper."
 

MrGameguycolor

Smash Lord
Joined
Apr 16, 2015
Messages
1,240
Location
Somewhere in this Universe
NNID
MrGameguycolor
Switch FC
7681-9716-5789
*Marth and Lucina both walk into a diner and order the same meal. The total comes to $5 each. Marth puts $6 on the table. Lucina puts down $5. Marth looks at Lucina disparagingly.*
Marth says "you're really only going to leave five bucks?" Lucina replies "I'm incapable of leaving a tipper."
Roy paid $4.99.
The boy didn't handle his double edge payment.
 

JagerCry

Smash Cadet
Joined
Apr 13, 2017
Messages
35
Location
Tri-state
Roy paid $4.99.
The boy didn't handle his double edge payment.
*Marth and Roy walk into a bank. Change and various pieces of metal fly across the room and stick to Marth. No metal objects are stuck to Roy. Roy looks sadly at Marth.*
Marth says "sorry, magnet hands, but I guess you wouldn't know about that."
 

Pillowpet

Smash Apprentice
Joined
Apr 5, 2017
Messages
79
Duck Hunt walks into a bar, Donkey Kong is across the room and duck hunt tries to shoot him only to get ding donged. Also would these be like Subspace Emissary cutscenes
 

Lola Luftnagle

Banned via Warnings
Joined
Nov 16, 2016
Messages
616
:4marth: and :4lucina: meet in Coliseum after a tournament (by the way this is based on a story mode dialogue from Tekken 4)...

:4lucina:: You're finally here.
:4marth:: So, what do you want?
:4lucina:: I never got to fight you in the tournament. I'll take you on right here, right now.
:4marth:: There's no reason to fight.
:4lucina:: You ain't got one? Well, I do!
 
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Pillowpet

Smash Apprentice
Joined
Apr 5, 2017
Messages
79
:4marth: and :4lucina: meet in Coliseum after a tournament (by the way this is based on a story mode dialogue from Tekken 4)...

:4lucina:: You're finally here.
:4marth:: So, what do you want?
:4lucina:: I never got to fight you in the tournament. I'll take you on right here, right now.
:4marth:: There's no reason to fight.
:4lucina:: You ain't got one? Well, I do!
Wellll technically if lucina kills marth she would be erased from existence but whatever
 

Lola Luftnagle

Banned via Warnings
Joined
Nov 16, 2016
Messages
616
Wellll technically if lucina kills marth she would be erased from existence but whatever
Hold on, hon. Maybe I neglected to mention this before but I intended for this battle to be a rematch based on the In the Name of the Hero King event.
 

Lola Luftnagle

Banned via Warnings
Joined
Nov 16, 2016
Messages
616
Oh, I have another one. Mario and Bowser do battle atop Bowser Castle with :4mario: riding in on a red Yoshi.

:4bowser:: (Very impressive, cowboy. But you'll need a whole lot more than a few rodeo tricks to get yourself out of this mess.)
:4mario:: I did my part. Now release Peach as you promised.
:4bowser:: (She's already been set free. But since you made it all this way, you might as well stay awhile.)

Not that Mario has a choice anyway since Bowser breathes fire on the drawbridge of his castle.

:4bowser:: (So you're gonna stick around, right?)
:4mario:: You've given me no choice. But know this: in the end, righteousness will prevail and justice will be served.
:4bowser:: (That's exactly what I'm hoping for.)
:4bowser: and :4mario:: It's time to duel!
 
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MarioMeteor

Smash Hero
Joined
Nov 27, 2014
Messages
8,340
Location
New Orleans
NNID
BGenius23
3DS FC
0662-2900-1492
Mega Man (to Kirby): Wow, this lifeform can copy abilities and he's not even a robot! I should take him to Dr. Light...

Luigi: Okay, Big Bro, this time I'm gonna win!
Mario: We'll see about that, little bro!

Palutena: Hey, sister. How about some tea after I win?
Rosalina: That sounds nice. But, "after you win?" Let's not get ahead of ourselves...

Kirby: Poyo poyo! (That thing looks just like me!)
Jigglypuff: Jiggly Jigglypuff! (Ooh, I bet he'll listen to my song!)

Ryu: Interesting... tell me more about this "Aura."
Lucario: I can show you better than I can tell you... Here I come!

Cloud: Join your army? Sorry, not interested.
Meta Knight: ...Then I have nothing more to say to you. En garde!

Peach: Being a princess sure is hard work, huh?
Zelda: Indeed. It's nice to converse with fellow royalty.

Mario: Mama Mia, the hero's life is not an easy one...
Link: Tell me about it.

Bowser: I was going to make you a General of the Koopa Troop, but now I'm gonna stomp ya, you backstabbing rat!
Ganondorf: Hm hm hm... Foolish turtle...

Dr. Mario: You originals are so outdated. It's time for the new and improved versions to shine!
Toon Link: Yeah, what he said!
Mario: Oh mama mia... I've had enough of clones for a while...
Link: Agreed.

Pikachu: Pika! Pika Pikachu! (Hey! Quit drawing on my face!)
Jigglypuff: Puff? Jiggly Jigglypuff. (What do you mean? I did no such thing! Hee hee...)

Cloud: That sword... Overcompensating much?
Ike: Like you're one to talk.

Ryu: I've always enjoyed fighting boxers.
Little Mac: This guy reminds me of Piston Honda.

Ganondorf: I, the King of Evil, will now be taking your place as the ruler of this world.
Master Hand: Hmph. Amusing...

Bowser: Hey you! I like the cut of your jib. You want a job in the Koopa Troop?
Crazy Hand: Laughs in Crazy
 

Lola Luftnagle

Banned via Warnings
Joined
Nov 16, 2016
Messages
616
Mario and Wario face off in a Pokèmon Battle. Mario chooses Suicune.

:4mario:: Wario, I'm so glad you're here 'cause I can now humiliate you again. Now, Suicune! Finish him off with Aurora Beam!
:4wario:: No, this can't be happening!

(Wario is KO'd by Suicune's attack and Mario wins the battle.)

:4luigi:: Hey, Mario! That was an awesome battle.
:4mario:: That was a message to all contestants that we aren't to be messed with. Next time, I won't be so friendly.

(Wario is now livid over his loss...)
:4wario:: This isn't over!
 

StupendousMike

Smash Ace
Joined
Oct 15, 2007
Messages
624
Location
Los Angeles, California
A couple of intro vatiations for characters with personal history (Mario/DK or even Mario/Sonic) could be neat. Street Fighter does that sometimes. A match between Ryu and Ken in Third Strike opens with them fist bumping, for example.
 
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Lola Luftnagle

Banned via Warnings
Joined
Nov 16, 2016
Messages
616
If the Final Battle event match had an intro, I bet it would go thusly...

:4bowser:: (So...you think you got what it takes to win this event?)
:4dedede:: (All you gotta do is get past us and you're on your way to the very last event match.)
:4ganondorf:: But it's only fair to warn you: we've been known to fight dirty.
 
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