Pseudo_Sam
Smash Cadet
The ultimate guide for the future Prophet!
Wanna be liked? Wanna be paid attention to? Well, there's no better way to accomplish this than by becoming a prophet!
With this quick and easy guide, you'll be fooling gullible Smashers in no time!
Just try not to laugh when teh internetz explode after you deliver the bombshell!
Step 1: Explaining your knowledge
To really come off as the real deal, you need to be able to explain how you know so much about Brawl. Here are some easy tips:
- DON"T BE A TESTER! This method has been tried, and has failed
- Try to avoid saying you got the game on teh black marketz. This is not believable in the slightest
- Don't try to be a part of Sakurai's development team; this is idiotic and will result in the instant deconfirmation of what might have been a plausible prophesy
- Really, any excuse you could come up with is stupid, so try and avoid the subject all together. If pressed, say you can't tell them for fear of being hunted down by Sakurai's elite ninja squad
Step 2: The little things
Being an awesome prophet means paying attention to the little things. A sloppy prophet is a bad prophet. Remember:
- Stay consistent throughout your "leak" in regards to vocabulary and diction. Nothing screams "fake" like using perfect grammar in one sentence and then reading like a ******** monkey in the next
- Try and include subtle hints at things you know, but can't yet reveal yet for some reason. This adds an aura of mystique to your character
- Every once in a while, throw in the phrase "Ooh, I shouldn't be telling you this, but..." It makes the reader feel like you genuinely want to spill the beans
- CONSISTENCY IS THE NUMBER 1 PRIORITY! IF YOU CANNOT LIE, YOU CANNOT BE A GOOD PROPHET!
Step 3: The info
Finally, the most important step is deciding what to "reveal". To ensure maximum believability, follow these steps:
- Don't try and "reveal" too much. Just take it nice and slow - reveal some parts here, some juicy info there - try and restrain yourself from spewing out some insane 86-man roster
- Space out the info - meaning, reveal a little bit of everything. Don't focus on one specific facet of the game (characters, stages, ect.) Prove to them you're the real deal by demonstrating your knowledge of the ENTIRE Smash spectrum
- Refrain from dropping more than 1 bombshell. DO NOT TRY TO BE A HERO. One unexpected tidbit makes your "leak" interesting; more than one makes you look like an idiot
- Please, for the love of God, don't go throwing around obscure Japanese-only characters proclaiming them to be playable characters. This isn't because it's impossible, but because no one would like your roster and would thus label it as false
- If you are having trouble coming up with decent lies, you can always just tell them what we already know but re-word it somehow. This may fool the stupid readers, but the observant ones will quickly catch on, so use this only as a last resort
- At the end of your prophesy, tell them there's more info coming, even if there's not
- Do not say Master Chief is in Brawl
- Do not say Master Chief is in Brawl
- Do not say Master Chief is in Brawl
By following these easy steps, you too can join the ranks of some of the greatest liars of all time!
To demonstrate the proper usage of these techniques, I have put together my own little "prophesy". Observe:
Hello,
My name is Sam (for obvious reasons, I won't be telling you my last name). I won't tell you how I know what I know, because no matter what I say there will be those who don't believe me. I know that my info is correct, and you will too when the game hits the shelves.
First of all, I'd like to say that Brawl is a spectacularly fun game. It really does improve on Melee in almost every way. What I am about to tell you should get you really pumped for this game, but nothing will compare to the first time you actually play it. It is a true gaming masterpiece.
The following things are in no particular order, I'm just typing them from my notes:
- All characters from Smash64, with the exception of Ness, are back
- There are a total of 32 stages, 20 of which must be unlocked
- Wolf is NOT a playable character, but he does appear in SE
- Krystal IS a playable character. Surprisingly fast, uses staff thing a lot
- Ridley is an SE boss, Samus/ZS remains the only Metroid rep
- Marth returns, Roy nowhere to be seen
- 45 ATs, 30 Pokeballs
- Claus, Capt. Olimar, and Lucario all get the nod. Lucario replaces Mewtoo (don't know how to spell it)
- Stage builder rules. New templates (I.E. color schemes) can be unlocked over time
- Characters who got cut include: Dr. Mario, Pichu, Young Link, Roy, Ness, Falco, Mewtoo
- Every single one of the above charcters (except Roy) appears as an assist trophy/pokeball
I can't really tell you much more, only that there are many more characters than that. For various reasons, it is not smart for me to reveal them to you now. Just know that this is an awesome game, and that it is one every Wii owner should get as soon as possible.
Oh, allright. I really shouldn't tell you this, but I think you should know that LUIGI IS NOT A PLAYABLE CHARACTER! I was shocked to discover this, but alas it is true. He plays a major role in the SE, but cannot be unlocked. Sorry, Luigi fans.
More info pending...
See? It's as simple as that! Now just sit back and watch as the arguments erupt over the internet!
What are you waiting for? Get out there and SPREAD SOME RUMORS!
Wanna be liked? Wanna be paid attention to? Well, there's no better way to accomplish this than by becoming a prophet!
With this quick and easy guide, you'll be fooling gullible Smashers in no time!
Just try not to laugh when teh internetz explode after you deliver the bombshell!
Step 1: Explaining your knowledge
To really come off as the real deal, you need to be able to explain how you know so much about Brawl. Here are some easy tips:
- DON"T BE A TESTER! This method has been tried, and has failed
- Try to avoid saying you got the game on teh black marketz. This is not believable in the slightest
- Don't try to be a part of Sakurai's development team; this is idiotic and will result in the instant deconfirmation of what might have been a plausible prophesy
- Really, any excuse you could come up with is stupid, so try and avoid the subject all together. If pressed, say you can't tell them for fear of being hunted down by Sakurai's elite ninja squad
Step 2: The little things
Being an awesome prophet means paying attention to the little things. A sloppy prophet is a bad prophet. Remember:
- Stay consistent throughout your "leak" in regards to vocabulary and diction. Nothing screams "fake" like using perfect grammar in one sentence and then reading like a ******** monkey in the next
- Try and include subtle hints at things you know, but can't yet reveal yet for some reason. This adds an aura of mystique to your character
- Every once in a while, throw in the phrase "Ooh, I shouldn't be telling you this, but..." It makes the reader feel like you genuinely want to spill the beans
- CONSISTENCY IS THE NUMBER 1 PRIORITY! IF YOU CANNOT LIE, YOU CANNOT BE A GOOD PROPHET!
Step 3: The info
Finally, the most important step is deciding what to "reveal". To ensure maximum believability, follow these steps:
- Don't try and "reveal" too much. Just take it nice and slow - reveal some parts here, some juicy info there - try and restrain yourself from spewing out some insane 86-man roster
- Space out the info - meaning, reveal a little bit of everything. Don't focus on one specific facet of the game (characters, stages, ect.) Prove to them you're the real deal by demonstrating your knowledge of the ENTIRE Smash spectrum
- Refrain from dropping more than 1 bombshell. DO NOT TRY TO BE A HERO. One unexpected tidbit makes your "leak" interesting; more than one makes you look like an idiot
- Please, for the love of God, don't go throwing around obscure Japanese-only characters proclaiming them to be playable characters. This isn't because it's impossible, but because no one would like your roster and would thus label it as false
- If you are having trouble coming up with decent lies, you can always just tell them what we already know but re-word it somehow. This may fool the stupid readers, but the observant ones will quickly catch on, so use this only as a last resort
- At the end of your prophesy, tell them there's more info coming, even if there's not
- Do not say Master Chief is in Brawl
- Do not say Master Chief is in Brawl
- Do not say Master Chief is in Brawl
By following these easy steps, you too can join the ranks of some of the greatest liars of all time!
To demonstrate the proper usage of these techniques, I have put together my own little "prophesy". Observe:
Hello,
My name is Sam (for obvious reasons, I won't be telling you my last name). I won't tell you how I know what I know, because no matter what I say there will be those who don't believe me. I know that my info is correct, and you will too when the game hits the shelves.
First of all, I'd like to say that Brawl is a spectacularly fun game. It really does improve on Melee in almost every way. What I am about to tell you should get you really pumped for this game, but nothing will compare to the first time you actually play it. It is a true gaming masterpiece.
The following things are in no particular order, I'm just typing them from my notes:
- All characters from Smash64, with the exception of Ness, are back
- There are a total of 32 stages, 20 of which must be unlocked
- Wolf is NOT a playable character, but he does appear in SE
- Krystal IS a playable character. Surprisingly fast, uses staff thing a lot
- Ridley is an SE boss, Samus/ZS remains the only Metroid rep
- Marth returns, Roy nowhere to be seen
- 45 ATs, 30 Pokeballs
- Claus, Capt. Olimar, and Lucario all get the nod. Lucario replaces Mewtoo (don't know how to spell it)
- Stage builder rules. New templates (I.E. color schemes) can be unlocked over time
- Characters who got cut include: Dr. Mario, Pichu, Young Link, Roy, Ness, Falco, Mewtoo
- Every single one of the above charcters (except Roy) appears as an assist trophy/pokeball
I can't really tell you much more, only that there are many more characters than that. For various reasons, it is not smart for me to reveal them to you now. Just know that this is an awesome game, and that it is one every Wii owner should get as soon as possible.
Oh, allright. I really shouldn't tell you this, but I think you should know that LUIGI IS NOT A PLAYABLE CHARACTER! I was shocked to discover this, but alas it is true. He plays a major role in the SE, but cannot be unlocked. Sorry, Luigi fans.
More info pending...
See? It's as simple as that! Now just sit back and watch as the arguments erupt over the internet!
What are you waiting for? Get out there and SPREAD SOME RUMORS!
Nice prophting
