Pro Smash Player Has Literally No Idea How to Explain his Wrist Problem to Doctor


“I honestly have no idea what you’re even saying”, Dr. Bhatnagar told his patient this morning after sitting through his hour long soliloquy on the history of competitive Super Smash Bros. Melee.

Cesare “tag not important because I’m lying” Borgia, a professional Melee player, has recently developed pain in his wrists due to the certain controller-grip and constant rapid finger movement that the game requires. To better explain the origins of his condition, Mr. Borgia tried his best to explain how taxing wavedashing, waveshining and L-Canceling can be on the hands.

The doctor, whose face slowly filled with anguish with each mention of meaningless video game jargon, soon gave up all hope trying to understand what his patient was talking about.

“I graduated Harvard Summa Cume Laude”, Dr. Bhatnagar tells us.

Cesare even went on a short tirade regarding the state of the current metagame and was met with many perfunctory nods from the doctor, whose wry expression clearly indicated his intense yearning to be elsewhere. He humbly sums up his feelings regarding the experience by saying he would "seriously rather watch a patient flatline" than sit through all that again.

After seeing his doctor’s lifeless body on his office chair and realizing that there was no chance of mutual understanding, Cesare simply told him that he “fell down some stairs”. Cesare is currently receiving medical treatment for his wrists.
 
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William "Wncozens" Cozens

Comments

#14
Honestly, he should have just told the doctor that he was moving his fingers and hands so much and so fast that it was almost literally killing his hands and perhaps could have demonstrated slowly on a controller what was happening during gameplay. Seriously, that would have worked so much better rather than going on and on about wavedashing and all of that. Do not get me wrong, I like Hax, this is just what I would have done at least :).
 
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#15
Doctor: "So, tell me how you hurt your wrist."

Patient: "Well, it started hurting when I was playing my latest set in Melee. I shined into a wave dash so I that I could read his F-air and follow up with an L-Canceled F-air into a D-air. It's my signature combo but my wrist gave out in the middle."

Doctor: "**** dawg quit Johning. You shoulda L-Cancelled F-air into B-air you skrub. Git gud"

Patient: "**** Doc. You're right."
 
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#16
Doctor: "So, tell me how you hurt your wrist."

Patient: "Well, it started hurting when I was playing my latest set in Melee. I shined into a wave dash so I that I could read his F-air and follow up with an L-Canceled F-air into a D-air. It's my signature combo but my wrist gave out in the middle."

Doctor: "**** dawg quit Johning. You shoulda L-Cancelled F-air into B-air you skrub. Git gud"

Patient: "**** Doc. You're right."
When the patient's name is Fox and the doctor's name is Mario... :laugh:
 
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#19
Honestly, he should have just told the doctor that he was moving his fingers and hands so much and so fast that it was almost literally killing his hands and perhaps could have demonstrated slowly on a controller what was happening during gameplay. Seriously, that would have worked so much better rather than going on and on about wavedashing and all of that. Do not get me wrong, I like Hax, this is just what I would have done at least :).
I think you missed the joke...
 
#21
He humbly sums up his feelings regarding the experience by saying he would "seriously rather watch a patient flatline" than sit through all that again.

This is goldenXD
 
#22
Doctor: "So, tell me how you hurt your wrist."

Patient: "Well, it started hurting when I was playing my latest set in Melee. I shined into a wave dash so I that I could read his F-air and follow up with an L-Canceled F-air into a D-air. It's my signature combo but my wrist gave out in the middle."

Doctor: "**** dawg quit Johning. You shoulda L-Cancelled F-air into B-air you skrub. Git gud"

Patient: "**** Doc. You're right."
This is just too much for me, I can't.
 
#26
The doc can't just TRY to understand what he's saying? He could've said "Oh, so it requires moving your hands rapidly in a strange position? I got you fam."
 
#28
:133:: This is what happens when you put Melee-No, Smash Bros. into your daily life as a human being...my new avatar...
 
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