Nintendo-Funded Research Concludes that “Smashbox is Worse than Nintendo Controllers”

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A recent, ‘entirely impartial’ study conducted by Nintendo has determined that Hitbox’s Super Smash Bros.-focused controller, the ‘Smashbox’, is objectively worse than Nintendo controllers. Mashpotato Samurai, the head researcher, states that there is “no question about it”.

The study and its subsequent findings come in response to recent talk of the Smashbox possibly trumping the standard Gamecube controllers in tournament play. However, Nintendo assures consumers that this is not the case and insists that said consumers continue to buy their products.

“Don't even waste your time with these,” says a Nintendo employed researcher. “Our studies found that they are like a bajillion times less efficient. Seriously, you are honestly better off just buying GameCube controllers.”

Some might say Nintendo is being disingenuous with their findings. When asked about this inevitable assumption, the Japanese company’s spokesperson dismissed it, saying that they are are a “business conglomerate whose capitalistic pursuits have no effect on providing our customers with the truth”.

Hours after releasing the statement above, the same spokesperson announced Nintendo’s latest project: the NinBox.

The NinBox, according to Nintendo, is an ‘optimized game stick designed specifically for Super Smash Bros. for the Nintendo Wii U, not Super Smash Bros. Melee for the Nintendo Gamecube. Furthermore, they state that they began to work on it ‘well before the results of our most recent publicly-released study’. With the removal of the analog stick and the addition of several arcade-esque controller buttons to make whatever tech skill is present in Smash Wii U easier, Nintendo hopes to revolutionize the market.


A rough mockup of Nintendo's new controller.

The NinBox is set to hit stores sometime in 2017. In response to the possibility that somebody copies their idea, Nintendo says that there may be some ‘follow up studies’ and ‘legal discussions’ regarding the matter.
 
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William "Wncozens" Cozens

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#9
LOL let me be honest.

When I said "is this satire" that was sarcasm, but in the opposite way you thought. I honestly 100% thought after skimming across it that this was a legit thing/issue but was close to being a troll/sarcasm.


I'm tired of reading SmashBoards news when 99% of it's fake with 0 notification of it being fake. If we cant get a THIS IS FAKE tag on these news articles, then the legitimacy/relevance of all the other articles are in question.

This quite honestly is pathetic.
 
#15
Uair just wants to start drama. Ignore him. He pretended not to know its a comedy article before. Maybe he just doesnt have a sense of humor-- no thats definitely it.

Anyways i support these weekly articles, and find them entertaining. This week's is particularly creative. Keep up the good work will
 
#17
Now that it has been established that, once again, this is a comedy corner article, please move on. Last time this was argued, the argument lasted 3 or more pages. Please do not let that happen again. Thank you.
Easy fix for this in the future

[SARCASTIC] Enter Title Here


That will avoid me or anyone else truly mistakening these types of threads as realistic.. As I said before, when you are making a satirical article about a PRODUCT, it's simply appropriate to make it CLEAR that the article is not intending to be factual. Hence why a "comedy corner" tag should be put on the title of these articles. Especially the ones relating to Nintendo products.

Thank you.
 
#19
Again this stupid discussion?
The moment I saw the title alone─ the obviously ridiculous title alone─ I knew it was another satire. I mean, Nintendo funded research for a controller? Come on. COME. ON.
Unless it is your first time in this site or you really, really suck at getting jokes, there is no reason to complain here.
I guess we know which one is the reason in use here....
 
#20
I like how this article instead of going for the fake bad debate points route deviated to the "Nintendo is anti-Hitbox" route.

What's funny is this article made me consider Nintendo's point of view for the first time in regards to 3rd party controllers. Kinda funny how a comedic article made me do that.
Two things.

First of all, just ignore people who are whining about articles like this, they're just thirsty for attention. It's honestly very simple to do.
I don't get why mods don't just delete these comments and warn/infract said users TBH. It is the solution that will make their jobs easier.
 
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#22
I would still like to see examples of Smashboards news being "fake" like people are saying.
But none the less great article love reading these keep up the good work and happy holidays. :)
 
#23
[Comedy Corner] Nintendo-Funded Research Concludes that "Smashbox is Worse than Nintendo Controllers"... what is so hard about that?

He's not putting it in the title just to get views. His last "Smash Switch will be entirely DLC" article got 80K views, and all of his articles score hits much higher than normal news articles... that does not happen. And please stop harassing Uair for voicing his opinion; people are being tricked, and we shouldn't have to comb through each news article to see if it's satire or not.
 
#24
[Comedy Corner] Nintendo-Funded Research Concludes that "Smashbox is Worse than Nintendo Controllers"... what is so hard about that?

He's not putting it in the title just to get views. His last "Smash Switch will be entirely DLC" article got 80K views, and all of his articles score hits much higher than normal news articles... that does not happen. And please stop harassing Uair for voicing his opinion; people are being tricked, and we shouldn't have to comb through each news article to see if it's satire or not.
You don't even need to read it though. It says it right on the front page.


Labeling things as satirical ruins the satire more often than not since it removes any last hint of subtlety (not that the article itself is subtle, but still). Having "Comedy Corner" in the front page blurb and in the article tags (both of which this article already has) is sufficient enough.
 
#25
You don't even need to read it though. It says it right on the front page.


Labeling things as satirical ruins the satire more often than not since it removes any last hint of subtlety (not that the article itself is subtle, but still). Having "Comedy Corner" in the front page blurb and in the article tags (both of which this article already has) is sufficient enough.
Yeah, because that subtle gray font totally stands out.

It doesn't even matter though; satire articles aren't news. This is more than welcome in the forum, or perhaps in a comedy section.
 
#26


Anyone remember this banner? Maybe if this was in all the Comedy Corner articles, we would have less of these problems.

Also, if satire articles weren't allowed in the first place, the admins would have probably done something about it and they would have stopped much earlier. And the fact that they are still going tells me that doing this is fine with them. Hell, it could even be their idea.
 
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#27
It really would have helped if there was an obvious disclosure of some sort present within this article to help make clear that it was satire. I thought the article was legitimate until I read a few comments that highlighted that the news was really made up.
 
#28
If you couldn't OBVIOUSLY TELL from the title of the article, the font underneath it, AND the last picture near the bottom of the article that it was COMPLETELY SATIRE, then just... *sighs*.

Also really like idiots saying that most SB news is fake when a lot of it is either
1) tournament announcements/ results
2) opinions/ interviews
3) sponsorship announcements
and there's so much room for faking in there.

The big reason that Comedy Corner articles get so many reads is probably because they're ACTUALLY FUNNY. A lot of other news that's posted on SB can be gotten from Reddit or Twitter, but these are entirely original pieces that are really fun to read.

Other reason Comedy Corner articles get reads is probably because:
1) tournament announcements are previews for events people know are happening. When you talk about storylines people already know, they don't feel compelled to read.
2) tournament results have much the same thing, except people would've watched and known the results without reading.
3) sponsorship announcements generally have info given away right in the title, so people don't really needa click on it.

But perhaps people talking about this really do just want attention. Whatever.
 
#30
Thing is, it could actually be next level.
I personally don't like the idea of paying smash with an Arcade Stick, but I'm sure there's a lot of stuff that would be easier to execute with an Arcade Stick, and a lot of stuff that would be harder to execute.
 
#33
Had to do some googling to make sure this really was fake news because the "comedy corner" tag is unclear on the matter. Comedic approaches to actual news could easily be labeled similarly and fake news has no place on the front page so I was quite confused.

In hindsight, I guess I was being naive in assuming smash boards vetted it's articles properly.
 
#34
You are all being naive in assuming Nintendo would fund a research to conclude that Smashbox is worse than their controllers:facepalm:
Seriously, in what world do you live? You don't really know Nintendo if you can't tell immediately this is fake....
 
#36
That would require me to research his profile after reading the article. So yes, it does answer our question, but not initially...

Actually I noticed it below the article this time, huh. I missed it. Anyway, I wanted to point out the tags could be a different shade of color so it can stand out more. Although I would suggest satire as a tag instead as it is simpler. I didn't really look at the tags last time.
 
#37
Still think it's fine that "Comedy Corner" isn't in the title - that way you can show it to your friends and they won't know it's fake. The description should include a clearer indication that it's a satirical article though; not everybody was around when Comedy Corner was first introduced.
 
#39
User was warned for this post
They should start infracting people for carrying on pointless discussions about things that won't be changed....
 
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