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My heart has been shattered

finalark

SNORLAX
Joined
Nov 23, 2007
Messages
7,829
Location
Tucson, Arizona
You're fourteen. You're going to go through this one hundred times and then some. This isn't the end of the world, just pick it up, be happy that you have a good friend and move on. Welcome to High School, kid.
 

SuSa

Banned via Administration
Joined
Jul 20, 2008
Messages
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planking while watching anime with Fino
I'm going to have to say I'm sorry, but I'm going to be honest.

Infatuation.

It may be love. I very well could be wrong. But just give it time.

I give you 3-4 months to slowly get over this.

If I'm wrong, message me. :x

Very rarely do people, regardless of age, truly understand what love is. It just tends that the younger ones really don't. They don't see the difference between a crush, lust, infatuation, or love. <_<
 

M.K

Level 55
Joined
Jul 10, 2007
Messages
6,033
Location
North Carolina
LOL You call that love? Pre-teen drama and relationships are the sorriest excuses for affection that I've ever seen.
 

ndayday

stuck on a whole different plaaaanet
BRoomer
Joined
Jun 12, 2008
Messages
19,612
Location
MI
LOL You call that love? Pre-teen drama and relationships are the sorriest excuses for affection that I've ever seen.
Although true, I'd go more on the advice SuSa gave.
It's a lot more :) and not :mad: like yours. .___.

My brother, who is 2 years younger then me, went through something like this, although it was a near break-up. They're still together and what-not, but he really went into the /wrist mode for the evening it lasted. If I had to choose advice to give him, I know now I'd say what SuSa said.

I'd give him 3-4 minutes though.
 

M.K

Level 55
Joined
Jul 10, 2007
Messages
6,033
Location
North Carolina
Although true, I'd go more on the advice SuSa gave.
It's a lot more :) and not :mad: like yours. .___.
.
Bahahaha, true THAT.
I guess I'm just tired of seeing preteens gawk at each other and fall into juvenile relationships, only to complain that a month later when the girl decides to move on to the next sorry prepubescent tool.
 

thanortinzak

Smash Apprentice
Joined
Jan 10, 2009
Messages
195
Location
Sacremento, CA
I'm going to have to say I'm sorry, but I'm going to be honest.

Infatuation.

It may be love. I very well could be wrong. But just give it time.

I give you 3-4 months to slowly get over this.

If I'm wrong, message me. :x

Very rarely do people, regardless of age, truly understand what love is. It just tends that the younger ones really don't. They don't see the difference between a crush, lust, infatuation, or love. <_<
I will message you when the time passes, and I still love her.

Thing is, I know its not just lust, infatuation, or a crush, etc, cause those won't last for over eight months. Plus, I loved her for who she was (personality, etc), NOT her looks.
 

altairian

Smash Lord
Joined
Jun 13, 2009
Messages
1,594
Location
Ballston Spa, NY
It's a natural part of growing up and understanding relationships better. Stop acting like you were ANY different at that age, because you know you weren't.

To the OP, sorry to hear things didn't work out like you hoped, but try to stay positive and learn what you can from the situation. This is a good time to spend time with your friends as much as you can, being alone right after being hurt sucks.
 

thegreatkazoo

Smash Master
Joined
May 31, 2009
Messages
3,128
Location
Atlanta, GA
I will message you when the time passes, and I still love her.

Thing is, I know its not just lust, infatuation, or a crush, etc, cause those won't last for over eight months. Plus, I loved her for who she was (personality, etc), NOT her looks.
Broham, Shut up & Suicide Already is right: You are infatuated with this girl.

Even when you are dating someone for two years, you can still be guilty of this. I'm living proof. :urg: It takes a lot to find a true lover, and judging by your description, this isn't the case.

Keep your head up though. ;)
 

SuSa

Banned via Administration
Joined
Jul 20, 2008
Messages
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planking while watching anime with Fino
I will message you when the time passes, and I still love her.

Thing is, I know its not just lust, infatuation, or a crush, etc, cause those won't last for over eight months. Plus, I loved her for who she was (personality, etc), NOT her looks.
No, you are wrong.

Those feelings can last far longer then eight months. They can last years. Ok, so it's not lust if you didn't just want to **** her 'cause she was hot. That leaves crush, and infatuation. Those feelings would also persist even if you were rejected.

Hell, even in 3-4 months you may still be infatuated and crushing over her. But usually in high school... you'll get over it in 2-3 months.
 

GwJ

Smash Hero
Joined
Nov 1, 2008
Messages
5,834
Location
Pennsylvania
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Now you've hit my soft spot, nice going Manny.

High school infatuation is a thing I am all too familiar with.

Her name is Emily. She is a year younger than me (She's a sophomore, I'm a junior) and I've known her since last year when I met her in marching band. We were both in percussion. I was cut from snare drum down to cymbals since it was my first year and I was all like, "So I put the stick on the drum and it goes brum brum right?" and I sat down all disappointed and whatnot with the other two cymbal players. The one was a junior (a year older than me at the time), and a freshman (Emily). I looked at her. Welcome to all I did every Tuesday and Thursday for about two weeks. I was so stunned by her that I couldn't even talk to her even though she was in my own section.

Anyway, a few months past and we got to know each other a little better and I was going to ask her out. That day came when I was going to ask her. I log in to facebook to find that she was asked at by someone else in drumline and she rejected him. The fact that she rejected someone else crushed my hopes of asking her out. Emily knows how I feel about her though and I want to get the cahones to ask her out, but it doesn't happen. She'll ask me from time to time if I still have feelings for her. I reply with a simple, "Of course." and she goes "Oh davey dave" and we continue with what we were doing.


*cough*, anyway before I get off on a tangent, I like her for more than her looks. Her personality is amazing, yet I don't love her. Wanna know why? I'm still a child (17) and I don't know true love yet. You're infatuated, just as I am.
 

SuSa

Banned via Administration
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Messages
11,508
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planking while watching anime with Fino
Omfg, a teenager who can recognize infatuation?

It's the end of the ****ing...wait a second.. it's possible.

So wait... she knows how you feel, and ASKS you if you still like her? Out of my [limited] experience, that'd be a sign to ask her out. Right now I see 2 scenarios.

1) You ask her out she says yes
2) You ask her out, she says no, and you get over it, and try to still be friends.

Seriously, I don't see why people freak out when it comes to asking a girl out. There's only 2 scenarios.

The branch off of 2 that everyone hates:

a) But what if its all akward?
Answer: If you can actually put it behind you, it shouldn't be. At all. I've noticed it's usually the guy that's still all flirty or hinting at their feelings, but to be honest. She said no. Get over it. It's your fault it's still awkward. (Or the girl wasn't even worth it if she doesn't want to be friends after you asked her)

B) What if it ruins our friendship?
Look at A.
 

Denzi

Smash Master
Joined
Jul 25, 2008
Messages
3,483
Location
Cleveland, OH
*cough*, anyway before I get off on a tangent, I like her for more than her looks. Her personality is amazing, yet I don't love her. Wanna know why? I'm still a child (17) and I don't know true love yet. You're infatuated, just as I am.
Well said good sir -golf claps-

Threads like this really seem to just generally be depressing. People need to realize that their life doesn't all of a sudden suck because of one small thing (and yes, these are small things). I've been through the depression phase, and one day I just decided to get the **** over it and move on with my life, because I wasn't getting anywhere by amplifying the negatives.

I'm not suggesting you should be wildly happy all the time. There are definately times when you'll feel a little down. But you make the best of it by learning from your mistakes, and then if you don't harp on it every waking moment of your day, you tend to feel better much more quickly.

Tl;DR
Stop being so ****ing depressing you depressing ****s.
(But seriously, focus on the good and not the bad, you'll find you get farther faster in li
fe.)
 

Chronodiver Lokii

Chaotic Stupid
BRoomer
Joined
Aug 11, 2009
Messages
5,846
Location
NEOH
Thats life.
Its just teen romances.
You'll get over it, so dont get depressed because she's still your friend.

Trust me, its a bad idea to get all depressed over "teen love". It just ruins your life if you get too worked up over it.

Denzi said:
People need to realize that their life doesn't all of a sudden suck because of one small thing (and yes, these are small things). I've been through the depression phase, and one day I just decided to get the **** over it and move on with my life, because I wasn't getting anywhere by amplifying the negatives.
...And this is one of the reasons you are still one of my best friends, Denzi.
YOUZ AGREEIN WITH MUH MINDSET.
But yeah. Listen to Denzi. He's smart and stuff.
And listen to everyone else.

It's srsly not the end of the world. So it'll all be okay
 

altairian

Smash Lord
Joined
Jun 13, 2009
Messages
1,594
Location
Ballston Spa, NY
SuSa and Denzi give good advice.

Almost a year ago I was depressed to the point that I was crying on a nearly daily basis. I had some good reasons to be depressed, but I was purposely focusing on them and making them worse than they needed to be. In some of the "self-help" I've done in the months since then, I heard something simple and amazing for use as a tool for building confidence and being more content with your life. It was simply "Be Positive". Just don't focus on bad stuff. Focus on good stuff. Recognize the bad stuff is there, deal with it however it needs to be dealt with, and keep your focus on the positive. It's so incredibly simple but it's completely changed my daily outlook and how I go about pretty much everything.
 

Firus

You know what? I am good.
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Joined
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I will message you when the time passes, and I still love her.

Thing is, I know its not just lust, infatuation, or a crush, etc, cause those won't last for over eight months. Plus, I loved her for who she was (personality, etc), NOT her looks.
I had a crush on a girl for nearly 3 years. About a month before we started going out I was convinced it was "love", we were going to get married, blah blah blah.

Two months after we started going out I realized I didn't want a relationship, I realized that it really couldn't have been love, and I broke up with her.
And it took me about a year and a half to mature past the relationship and fully realize the ramifications of it.

Trust me. It can be infatuation, it can be a crush, they'll last for as long as you let them. And the girl I "loved" wasn't exactly the most attractive person, I liked her personality too.

I don't think this will convince you, honestly I think the only way to figure it out is to learn it for yourself, so I'll leave it at that.

LOL You call that love? Pre-teen drama and relationships are the sorriest excuses for affection that I've ever seen.
So he's confused, laughing at him isn't going to help. Just because it isn't love doesn't mean he isn't going to be upset by the whole thing, and it's certainly no excuse to ridicule him.

If you're tired of seeing infatuation mistaken for love, you could always not read threads about it instead of trolling them.
 

illinialex24

Smash Hero
Joined
May 23, 2008
Messages
7,489
Location
Discovered: Sending Napalm
Do what everyone does. Find a physical relationship and have fun. Then come back to her.

Booyah, meaningless relationships that make you feel ****ty about yourself.

Booyah [/sarcasm].

Chase her *****.
 

AKC12

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Oct 4, 2005
Messages
484
Location
Marlborough, MA
I wouldn't worry too much about it, you still got plenty of time and other game. Just be glad she's still a good friend, sometimes that's more than a relationship. If you want her continue to be her good friend and who knows she might change her mind.
 

SuSa

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planking while watching anime with Fino

*Sigh...* This thread fills me with nostalgia and a good kind of sadness. Carry on, good sirs XD.

Fun Fact: Three of the most major love interests I've had in life have been named Claire. Weird, huh?


Fun fact:
My current crush's name is Claire.

But I'm taken. :3 and it's not worth losing a love for a crush. Or giving up love for a crush.
 
D

Deleted member

Guest
Meh. It may feel like the end of the world now, but just give it time, you'll recover.
 

RyuReiatsu

Smash Journeyman
Joined
Jan 17, 2009
Messages
408
Manny, did you really need to hear all their advices? I've told you everything that's been said over here, minus the **** zone :laugh:.

Just do your things, bro.

And yes, I went offline but fell asleep very briefly.
 
Joined
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...And this is one of the main reasons why I'd rather focus on academics than filled-to-the-brim-by-drama teenager relationships.
If it's just going to make me feel bad, what's the point?

Anyway, I'd say to consider yourself lucky that she's still your friend.
If you two had become boyfriend and girlfriend, you actually might have ended up worse when the time came to break up.
If she still sees you in a positive light, then you shouldn't feel too depressed.

Just because she rejected you to "save your friendship", it does not mean that she hates/dislikes/abhors you.

Also:
Meta-Kirby said:
I guess I'm just tired of seeing preteens gawk at each other and fall into juvenile relationships, only to complain that a month later when the girl decides to move on to the next sorry prepubescent tool.
Quoted for truth, even though I'm 14 myself.
 

Teran

Through Fire, Justice is Served
Super Moderator
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You guys can be a pain the the *** sometimes.

Remember the rules and boundaries, please.
 

Space-knight

Smash Cadet
Joined
Oct 1, 2009
Messages
30
Location
Texas
Sorry man. But just because she wants to be friends now doesn't mean she wont like you in a few years right? Could turn in your direction. :)
 

Mr. Rogu

Smash Ace
Joined
May 26, 2008
Messages
607
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Cruisin in my Jeep.. I wish.
yeah, i can feel your pain but dude, your only 14. right now, just focus on your other goals and your other activities you enjoy. its still a great thing that she wants to be your friend. It could be worse. she could of said no and said that she doesnt want to really hang out with you anymore. If she said that she didnt want to ruin the friendship, that still means she likes you, but just doesnt want to lose you as a friend. Maybe shes just not ready for a relationship yet.(im assuming shes only 14 too). In time she will be and maybe then ask again.
 

.Marik

is a social misfit
Joined
Sep 2, 2008
Messages
3,695
OP isn't the only person that's had his "heart shattered".

And one day before my birthday.

Well, time for an avatar change.
 

mountain_tiger

Smash Champion
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Oct 24, 2008
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Dorset, UK
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Look on the bright side. I'm 16 and I've NEVER had a romantic relationship. Ever. Honestly, I'm starting to get kinda desperate...
 

.Marik

is a social misfit
Joined
Sep 2, 2008
Messages
3,695
^ Relationships are overrated.

Honestly, it saves you grief in the long run, lol. :yoshi:
 
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