Rewrite.
We as Stigma-B loyals train to become Ninja Smurfers, while the sun continues to slap our planet around with bewildering heat. When the training is complete, we take a warp star to approach the sun and we Hadouken it in the face several thousand times. The sun bows to us in respect and leaves it so that the temperature never rises above 27 degrees.
A long trip home is accompanied by a montage of all the things we miss back on earth for sentimentality.
We arrive on earth with full lustrous, glorious beards and are welcomed by plethora of women, moneys, chawklet, candy, rum (for drinking not burning), beer, bourbon and all alcholic and non alcoholic beverages of the like. And more sexy women. And more moneys. In a swiss bank account. And an inspirational ending sequence with the little text stories about what happened after the events while "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey is played.
Yes? =D
Oh and we all get pet dinosaurs that can read minds, shoot lazorz frum their eyes and can also fly with rocket packs.
Also, there was a bear. =3