Losing is affecting my self-esteem

[Deleted member]

There's this problem I'm having since getting the game, and I'd prefer you refrain from giving smart-alecky replies.

Every since playing the online mode, I find myself getting butthurt and hating myself after most losses for these reasons:

- Projectile spamming speedsters who are untouchable 90% of the time.

- Swordies in general.

- Any time I try out a non-heavy, my win rate drops considerably, and after a few losses, I drop the character and never touch them again, preventing me from branching out.

- Taking only 1 stock or none at all while I get curb-stomped.

It's the reason why I only use Donkey Kong and King K. Rool (both of whom I love too much to permanently drop), put tons of importance on winning, and the game stops being fun. How can I drop this toxic mindset and having fun again?

 

[Fell God]

Forgive the "pessimism" but I don't think it's possible to just change your mindset because you want to, even though a lot of people seem to think it is. The only way I could really think of would be to no longer play itemless 1v1s, but therein lies another problem, being that you probably prefer that over the alternative.

 

[ddonaldo]

A solution could be embracing the salt.
The fact that you are on smashboards and that this isn't your first smash game means that you do have a passion for the series and that passion translates to salt when you lose. This isn't abnormal and thus if at the end of the day you still keep playing then you are still enjoying yourself...most likely

Another suggestion would be to find people near your skill level, add them as friends and play in lobbies with them. That way you can play against people at your skill level without suffering curbstomps.
Because once again it is quite normal to feel frustrated if you are playing against someone way better than you to the point where you can't even understand why you are losing

A last suggestion would be the amount of "mains" you have. If you try and narrow your mains to a smaller cast, you will find it easier to learn matchups. Matchup experience is a strong part of any fighting game or pvp game in general and without it, you can be leagues better than your opponent and still lose.
And with a game with so many characters, even having something as little as 5 mains would mean learning 385 matchups.

 

[1FC0]

You can change your mindset. I have made many changes in my mindset. And changing your mindset is good since if your current mindset cannot even handle losing gracefully then your mindset might cause you more problems in real life.

Things that help me are:
1. Focusing on what getting upset does for me. Getting upset probably only causes you misery and does nothing good for you. So it is a mistake to react to a loss by getting upset.
2. Change perspective to bigger things. Is this game really important? Will you care 5 years later that you suck at Smash? What prize do you win if you win games? What penalty do you get for losing? GSP is not important in your life.

Alternatively you could put the game down. This option might be good if you really cannot handle losing gracefully. Just pause for a while and maybe do other more important stuff.

 

[BlueWaves]

I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm a loser and a rookie too, I have a pretty poor rating right now. But don't let that get to you. Sure its frustrating, but try to take a break when you feel that your getting frustrated- you'll only make yourself feel worse if you keep playing. As someone who also plays Pokemon as an esport, I started off really bad- but with practice and help from others, I've improved so much that I've very well competitions. Same applies in Smash- keep practicing- join one of the arenas- They can be selected for skill levels as well as rules sets and they don't have ratings- so you can try to master characters, items, and rule sets until you feel comfortable.

 

[ZaneHitsurugi]

Get a grip and stop focusing on winning as much as you do on improving. Don't save replays where you win, save the ones where you get absolutely trashed. Review your footage to look at the mistakes and bad habits that you make.

Side note, if you "real life" self-esteem is affected by your performance in the game, quit playing and seek mental help.

 

[grizby2]

yeah, it sucks when you have a losing spree. but you gotta start looking at it differently. you see, the prize is not the victory, but the FIGHT. even if you lose, give yourself some applause and say " that was good!" and if that doesn't help, watch some videos of top players LOSING. that's right. sometimes you just need to see some hype videos to get you in the mood to do some crazy good stuff! it also helps to know that top players aren't without Hiccups!

 

[Deleted member]

Get a grip and stop focusing on winning as much as you do on improving. Don't save replays where you win, save the ones where you get absolutely trashed. Review your footage to look at the mistakes and bad habits that you make.

Side note, if you "real life" self-esteem is affected by your performance in the game, quit playing and seek mental help.

I have low self esteem in the social context, including talking to people, sharing art, and gaming. I'm trying to keep from getting upset in these situations, but in the case of gaming, it's not so effective as it feels more personal.

 

[ZaneHitsurugi]

I have low self esteem in the social context, including talking to people, sharing art, and gaming. I'm trying to keep from getting upset in these situations, but in the case of gaming, it's not so effective as it feels more personal.

Then that seems more like you need to work on yourself more than your skills in the game.

 

[Ghidorah14]

I'm in a similar boat. I'm a terribly sore loser; don't like losing at all. I often find myself talking trash about my opponents.

I'm completely unable to watch my own replays to see my faults. I simply cannot help myself from interpreting my mistakes as things like "oh whatever, he just did a random fsmash. just throwing moves out there, no thought!"

People who say "change your mindset" are about as helpful as a wired controller with no wires. It's never that simple; they're basically asking you to change how your brain works!

Wanna build your self-esteem? Talk trash about your opponent. Get hyped when you do something right. Let your emotions out!

If I'm feeling salty, I tend to rationalize my losses as "well my opponent is a garbage player anyway, so how cares." It may not be the "competitive" mindset, but it does sort of keep me from quitting online for good.

To compensate for my salt, I allow myself to absolutely revel in any win I get, even against obviously new players. And the way I cope with frustration is either turning the game off and doing something else, or playing until I get a win and then quit.

 

[ZaneHitsurugi]

I'm in a similar boat. I'm a terribly sore loser; don't like losing at all. I often find myself talking trash about my opponents.

I'm completely unable to watch my own replays to see my faults. I simply cannot help myself from interpreting my mistakes as things like "oh whatever, he just did a random fsmash. just throwing moves out there, no thought!"

People who say "change your mindset" are about as helpful as a wired controller with no wires. It's never that simple; they're basically asking you to change how your brain works!

Wanna build your self-esteem? Talk trash about your opponent. Get hyped when you do something right. Let your emotions out!

If I'm feeling salty, I tend to rationalize my losses as "well my opponent is a garbage player anyway, so how cares." It may not be the "competitive" mindset, but it does sort of keep me from quitting online for good.

To compensate for my salt, I allow myself to absolutely revel in any win I get, even against obviously new players. And the way I cope with frustration is either turning the game off and doing something else, or playing until I get a win and then quit.

Do not listen to this degenerate.
Do not feed into negative emotion or rationalize your losses.
Your main enemy is your ego, you must keep it in check.

 

[Ghidorah14]

Do not listen to this degenerate.
Do not feed into negative emotion or rationalize your losses.
Your main enemy is your ego, you must keep it in check.

lol.

Ego isn't his problem. Quite the opposite, it seems.

 

[T-Donor66]

I'm in a similar boat. I'm a terribly sore loser; don't like losing at all. I often find myself talking trash about my opponents.

I'm completely unable to watch my own replays to see my faults. I simply cannot help myself from interpreting my mistakes as things like "oh whatever, he just did a random fsmash. just throwing moves out there, no thought!"

People who say "change your mindset" are about as helpful as a wired controller with no wires. It's never that simple; they're basically asking you to change how your brain works!

Wanna build your self-esteem? Talk trash about your opponent. Get hyped when you do something right. Let your emotions out!

If I'm feeling salty, I tend to rationalize my losses as "well my opponent is a garbage player anyway, so how cares." It may not be the "competitive" mindset, but it does sort of keep me from quitting online for good.

To compensate for my salt, I allow myself to absolutely revel in any win I get, even against obviously new players. And the way I cope with frustration is either turning the game off and doing something else, or playing until I get a win and then quit.

Lmao, you sound like a terrible person with no accountability for themselves. So when you lose, its because your opponent is a “garbage player”? Then why did you lose to them? And imagine “reveling in every win i get” from quickplay matches lmaooo. You aren’t just bad, you advice and mindset is incredibly toxic as well, hate to break it to you.

 

[Necro'lic]

Your main enemy is your ego, you must keep it in check.

Give Ghidorah14 some slight credit, he is right that ego is not the problem. A broken clock is right twice a day after all.

To OP, this definitely mirrors how I felt when I was playing ARMS and kept losing due to really stupid errors that I saw while playing, yet my hands kept going knowing it was a bad idea. Thus, the concept of simply replaying losing matches was not useful to me, because I knew what the error was BEFORE it happened in most cases, but my hands have already made the actual decision in real time before I could change the outcome. This is known as second guessing yourself, and it's a problem I have that surpasses fighting games or games in general.

Second guessing can be a good thing or a bad thing, but in a quick environment like fighting games, it is, to my newfound knowledge, an absolutely crippling thing, because not only do you understand the error but didn't have time to fix it, but you mull over it DURING the match, thus creating more margin for error and it snowballs into horrible decision after horrible decision until you get curbstomped. There is no way to turn this off for me.

And in the case of ARMS, every time I lost while messing up in this particular way, it started making me think that I wasn't even capable of playing these sorts of games at all. They just weren't compatible with me, because it just got depressing, and even stopping actually playing and taking a break didn't work often, because knowing you messed up that many times in a row can make you feel like a grade A moron, and not even in the comedic sense, but that you might ACTUALLY be slow and there's something wrong with your physical brain. What's even worse is that winning ends up not being a cure, at least to me, because the first thing I always went to is that the opponent happened to either be worse than me, or an opponent that was clearly better than me, yet I won against, simply made mistakes rather than any skill I had giving me that win. So either win or lose, there was little gained for playing the game with the sense of getting better, because it felt like I COULDN'T get any better, like my brain wasn't capable of playing the game on a competitive level amidst more talented players, despite me playing about as long, and in some cases even longer, than they have.

And so, I quit playing ARMS out of necessity, and I stopped playing fighting games in a competitive sense because I know that I'm just not compatible with it both mentally and emotionally. Maybe you are the same way, OP. This doesn't mean you can't still enjoy the game in other ways. I really enjoy talking about the competitive merit of these games and I am planning to make a competitive mod of the game sooner or later, but actually playing the game with a competitive mindset is nothing but a trainwreck for me emotionally.

I don't know how much of this pertains to you OP, but this is the thought processes I had before I came to the endpoint that you seem to be at.

 

[Sean²]

I’m going to try to put it simpler than everyone else here.

1. Stop playing quickplay or random public arenas immediately. They are obviously not helping.
2. Get with people who are willing to help you get better. They may beat you senseless but you can talk to them afterward and work through where your mistakes were in a positive light. Anther’s Ladder might help since it’s easier to join up with people online now due to arenas being a thing.
3. After you improve upon your mistakes, maybe give randoms another try to see how you fare, but keep it minimal at first. Note if you have changed your play at all or if you fell back into any bad habits. Don’t linger with trolls or salty players.
4. Rinse and repeat. The mentality will eventually dissipate on its own.

 

[LIL ELF]

If you’re having such a hard time online, I think you should go fight Lvl 7-9 CPU. There’s no shame in that, we all do it. Once you’ll get comfortable fighting them, go try online and trust me you’ll have different result!

 

[T-Donor66]

If you’re having such a hard time online, I think you should go fight Lvl 7-9 CPU. There’s no shame in that, we all do it. Once you’ll get comfortable fighting them, go try online and trust me you’ll have different result!

Disagree. CPU play nothing like humans and will help you form bad habits. You cant play mindgames with them, they have inhuman levels of blocking and parrying speed, yet they will walk into a fully charged smash attack. Definitely not something to practice on regularly.

 

[LIL ELF]

Disagree. CPU play nothing like humans and will help you form bad habits. You cant play mindgames with them, they have inhuman levels of blocking and parrying speed, yet they will walk into a fully charged smash attack. Definitely not something to practice on regularly.

Sure, when you’re good at smash it will always be better to go online cause these cpu be so dumb, but i dont think there’s a point to continue playing online if you keep getting destroyed, you’ll just get salty and the game will become frustrating. So with CPU you got better chance of winning plus you’ll learn how to do stuff like combo without getting destroy everytime you try something! But that’s just my opinion, I get why you disagree with me.

 

[Garolymar]

So I kinda get how you feel, I get pretty bad anxiety my first couple of matches while playing online as well. (GSP is literally going to give me a heart attack one day) But I try to remind myself each match that even if I lose I'm always getting better, I'm always learning from each match. For example I had a lot of trouble with King K. Rool when the game first came out and I got matched with this guy playing him who actually stuck around for a lot of matches. He kept beating me in the beginning but I took a few breathes and started really watching what I was doing and changed up my playstyle to counter him.

I won four matches before he left and it felt pretty good to know that I manage to overcome something that was previously giving me trouble.
I feel if I try to view every match as something I can learn from win or lose I tend to get less angry when I do lose or I'm fighting somebody using a playstyle that I can't seem to overcome at first. If I do get too angry I tend to play classic to calm down or switch to a less serious character until I've chilled out.

I also try to remember to just have fun in the end.

 

[Crystanium]

There's this problem I'm having since getting the game, and I'd prefer you refrain from giving smart-alecky replies.

Every since playing the online mode, I find myself getting butthurt and hating myself after most losses for these reasons:

- Projectile spamming speedsters who are untouchable 90% of the time.

- Swordies in general.

- Any time I try out a character lighter than Ridley/Belmont, my win rate drops considerably, and after a few losses, I drop the character and never touch them again, preventing me from branching out.

- Taking only 1 stock or none at all while I get curb-stomped.

It's the reason why I only use the heavier characters, put tons of importance on winning, and the game stops being fun. How can I drop this toxic mindset and having fun again?

I think perhaps it's less about projectile spamming speedsters, sword characters, &c., and more about how you think of yourself. Step back from the game and ask yourself why losing affects your self-esteem. Do you already have a poor self-image of yourself? Are you afraid of losing? If so, why? Are you no longer enjoying the game? If so, realize that it's just a game. You can be serious about the game, but if you're not having fun, you're not going to do as well as you could. After playing the game and turning it off, do you experience a lack of desire or perhaps fear of losing when you play the next day?

There are two aspects in playing a fighting game that are hidden in plain sight. First, losing will happen. It's inevitable. Second, losing opens the opportunity to learn from your mistakes. If you accept your loss and treat it as a learning experience instead, you will gain more from that than you would from giving up or feeling demoralized. By the way, if you feel demoralized, take a break. If you play while demoralized, you might play poorly, which will only contribute in you picking up bad habits, and thus create a vicious cycle.

I think perhaps that because you play as Donkey Kong, you rely heavily on his weight to get you by. By playing as a middleweight or lightweight character, you can't rely on that anymore. When you find yourself losing again and again with a different character who is lighter than Ridley or the Belmonts, you give up. Back during the SSBB days, I wanted to try out Zero Suit Samus, but her short hop seemed like a full hop. It wasn't until SSB4 that I wanted to use ZSS because I wanted a character who could deal with those Samus couldn't, as well have the full Metroid experience.

I tried her, was dissatisfied, and went with Mario. Mario felt right, even good, but he also felt basic. I tried Sheik, who was technical and good. But it was between these three characters that I stuck with ZSS eventually. I couldn't just give up on her the moment I felt like I wasn't playing properly with her. Obviously, I wasn't going to win most matches, especially against my brother. I stuck with ZSS for my secondary, though. My brother saw me performing a lot better with her than before. Even my brother wants to have a secondary, but the moment he loses, he just sticks with his main. I think this is what's happening with you.

Rather than picking up a new character who may be lighter compared to Ridley or the Belmonts, you give up when you're not seeing any results. Focus on learning how to use the character and what he or she can do. If you focus on the results from the onset, you're not going to perform very well with that character. There's a saying I just recalled from the TV show, Smallville. Jonathan Kent, the adoptive father of Clark Kent, said to Clark, "You can quit if you want, but remember: quitting's a very hard habit to break." I'd say give a week of trying out other characters. Find at least a character who feels right to you who isn't a heavy.

In my signature is a link to a thread I made some time ago. It received a lot of likes early on and even today, I still receive likes from others on this site. If you're interested, feel free to read it. I hope it'll help you develop a growth mindset and help you not to be so hard on yourself. I know from experience back in SSBB what it's like to be demoralized, to not have fun after losing over and over again. Also, if this mentality or attitude you have stems from something else not related to SSBU, but SSBU is causing it to manifest, I'd encourage you to speak to someone you trust about any issues you might have. I hope you succeed in your future matches. A positive mindset and the right strategies will get you far.

 

[Perversion]

Forgive the "pessimism" but I don't think it's possible to just change your mindset because you want to, even though a lot of people seem to think it is. The only way I could really think of would be to no longer play itemless 1v1s, but therein lies another problem, being that you probably prefer that over the alternative.

I'm going to disagree with you to a point. Changing your mindset just because you want to is entirely capable. That's how I reformed myself. However, it's very difficult and requires you to be stalwart in your change and go against your current thinking actively at all times. This can be very draining, and it sucks. Willpower is more powerful than people think and don't give it enough credit because it is easier to just give up and fall back into old patterns that may be undesired but familiar and most people cling to what is familiar to them.

 

[MalanoMan]

In smash, the most important thing above all else is the ability to perform the action you wish to perform on command. Keep practicing until you master this ability. Trying to utilt and a usmash comes out instead? Keep practicing. Despite what some others are saying, CPUs are perfect for achieving this mastery.

After you are able to press da buttons, you absolutely need the right, winning, mindset. People who say that you cant change your mindset are silly. It'll be difficult, but it is definitely possible. In order to do this I HIGHLY recommend reading the book, The Inner Game of Tennis. This book places an emphasis on letting go of your emotions and allowing muscle memory to take over. It teaches you how to focus under high pressure, and how to avoid letting your mind become your own obstacle.

In addition, don't give up on characters too quickly. Find a few characters that you like a stick to them.

Finally, you have to be patient! Let the swordie throw out a fair. Expect projectiles to be annoying, and practice ways to dodge them. Save clips from times you get stomped and review them. Look at what the other guy is doing right and practice trying to emulate that!

 

[EGsmash]

The way I see it is that you teach yourself how to get around whatever obstacle you're presented with. Sometimes you'll lose to what seems like a trash tactic, but still works. Do you think competitive players will refrain from using garbage tactics if it means they can win against you? If I can projectile spam someone who doesn't know how to get around it, then I certainly will, and it's your job to figure out how to make me stop.

Other player spamming projectiles? Figure out a way around the projectiles and see if you can punish.
Other player spamming sh-aerials? Watch the timing and see if you can punish.
Other player seems to be throwing out random, unreadable moves? Throw out something to try to force them to react in a predictable way.
CPU 9 is perfect shielding? Charge a smash attack and see what happens.

You won't be successful most of the time, but if you are able to get through their defenses and land even a single hit, then you'll know that your strategy works. You might not win the match, but the next time you're up against that strategy you'll have a better understanding of how to get around it. If the opponent changes up his strat, then you watch and learn.

If you're winning all the time then you're not learning.

 

[Ghidorah14]

Lmao, you sound like a terrible person with no accountability for themselves. So when you lose, its because your opponent is a “garbage player”? Then why did you lose to them? And imagine “reveling in every win i get” from quickplay matches lmaooo. You aren’t just bad, you advice and mindset is incredibly toxic as well, hate to break it to you.

Nah, not always. Just when I'm getting salty. People who know me outside of smashboards would vouch for me being a really chill dude to hang with. When it comes to playing randoms who do dumb stuff like roll into my fsmash 3 times a game, I don't give a crap about them. It's a different story when I play legitimately good players.

I also don't bottle up my emotions because I think it's unhealthy. I'll freely admit to being a salty baby when I'm being a salty baby, unlike a lot of players I see who put on this fake persona of being some incorruptible sage who never gets angry or upset. I think some of you get just as salty as I do, but are too afraid to admit it because you care too much about what faceless randoms on the internet think of you.

If my mindset is toxic, it is because that's what the online experience in smash 4 has done to me. I had nobody to play with and no local scene. I tried anther's ladder but only got paired with tryhards who never wanted to talk to me anyway, let alone coach me. I'm going to try and change that for ultimate.

I know I shouldn't act the way I do and rationalize my losses, but in the moment, it keeps me playing, instead of spiraling into a state of say, low self-esteem.

 

[Lavani]

Changing your mindset in the sense of telling yourself "Don't get mad over it" isn't necessarily feasible. Changing your mindset in the manner of changing your goal is, however, and that can correct negative feelings as well. Don't play online with the goal of winning, play online with the goal of learning your character and learning how to fight other characters. Winning may give self-validation, but you can earn knowledge about what doesn't work from a loss and improve yourself as a player as a product of that.

 

[Perversion]

I'm going to chime in on the rest of the conversation, since I only replied to one person about the power of changing your mindset.

To the OP, and to Ghidorah14. You both have a volatile mindset that is setting in. Allowing matches to affect you that much is taking the game too seriously and allowing the game to have a hold on you. You're not professionals, this game is not your breadwinner, and if you want it to be then your mindset needs to evolve before that can be achieved. In my opinion, this has very little to do with self esteem, and more so about having too much self esteem. The inability to cope with losing, raging and taunting at other players, not seeing your losses as something to learn from, and so on are signs of having too big of an ego to handle with the idea that you're not as good of a player as you think you are.

If you know you shouldn't act the way you do, then you need to understand that you need to keep yourself in check. This is just a game, and for the majority of us, that's all it ever will be. Sure, most of us compete but it'll still just remain a game to us. If all you had was online mode, then that's even worse. As you do not have the companionship/camaraderie of someone your playing against telling you what you're doing wrong. You're in your own head and you believe the opponent is laughing at you at your short comings. However, that's all it is. You... in your own head. You give your online opponent a persona and imagine him being less than you and when you lose, you can't cope with it healthily. Your opponent doing something that is effective against your playstyle, that seems easy/cheap, then they must be bad. Yet, it's beating you and you lost to it. What you want is an excuse, what you need is to adapt to each individual opponent on the fly.

I'm sorry, but I don't sympathize for the OP and Ghidorah14. What I can say is that positive growth needs to happen, otherwise I fear that you'll just contribute to the toxic part of the community. Becoming more of a detriment, than an asset.

 

[Megadoomer]

Maybe it might help if you try having a different goal?

I'm not a competitive player by any stretch of the imagination, but I find that I'm less annoyed about playing online in Smash compared to Street Fighter or Splatoon 2 because my main goal is completing challenges (like playing as thirty different characters in Quickplay), as opposed to winning or ranking up.

If I win, it's an added bonus, but if I lose, I'm not as annoyed about it because I figure that I still need practice with what each character can do. (I don't know the ins and outs of any of the Fire Emblem cast, for example)

 

[MG_3989]

If you carry this attitude through smash you probably carry this attitude through life which can be very detrimental. Try staying in the moment. The last game doesn’t matter, win or lose. Try to focus on improving and having fun. I bet you’ll win more if you do that

 

[Deleted member]

Just take those L's in pride. You tried I guess.

 

[DCavalier]

Start thinking like fricking Goku man.
He goes in just to get a good fight and sometimes wins sometimes doesnt but always learns something from his opponents.

This helped me a lot because I also had that mindset of constantly losing = I'm garbage || Opponent is spammy a**.
But before it grew into something toxic, I took a step back and asked.

Why do I keep losing to the spammy Fair Chrom or Marcina with my Ganny?
Well after watching a replay I noticed that I always contested their short-hop aerials, basically forgot that Shield/Parry existed.
And I thought what if I shield/parry and then punish their spam ?
And that was it, they started going down and I kept going up until I reached Elite status with Ganon.

Of course different characters need different strats, but now I don't ask why did i lose ?
Now I ask, how can I beat that spammy Samus ?

Watch some replays, look for things you keep doing that get you punished with high damage or stocks.
Also look for things that you could have done like tech-chasing your opponent instead of instantly F-Smash on the legde.

Know your character weakness and keep them in check.
Belmonts Axe is really slow and leaves you wide open maybe try setting a Holy Water first then Axe away.
Cross can be nullified by some special attacks like Ganons Wizards Foot.

If you find the holes in your defense you are less likely to leave them open.

 

[Uffe]

I suggest you have your main, a secondary, and a tertiary character. Drop any character who isn't actually worth your time. Your losses could be because of lack of match up experience, your character vs your opponents, unaware of what you should be looking out for, not using your character properly, or something else. If you're not noticing your opponents patterns, then it'll be a little more difficult to deal with. Make it your goal to learn as you play. If you win in the process, then good. If you're being too aggressive, that may be the reason you're losing. If you're being too defensive, then that could also be the reason. You don't want to become predictable. So if you're always going for an attack and your opponent blocks, then you're obviously going to be punished afterwards. If you're blocking too much yourself, then your opponent will go for more grabs until you figure out that you should try using another defensive option.

Sword characters in general are difficult to fight against because of their long ranged disjointed hitboxes. Projectile characters become predictable they're just spamming. You could try using a character with a reflector or a character with better ranged attacks. Getting upset isn't going to help you focus. It would probably be best you stop playing the game when you're getting too upset and relax. And if you ever think, "Your character won because you're using a better character," then get rid of that mindset, because excuses won't help you improve.

 

[Teeb147]

It depends what your motivation is for playing. I play to have fun, to get better, as well as to win. When I get too focused on winning, I try focus on the other two. So either not care as much and just try for fun, or also enjoy learning and getting better; It's always an opportunity to get better, and when you face situations like that, it's easier to take it as an occasion to get better at surmounting them, which can be enjoyable of itself, even if it takes a while to get the hang of some things.

I also don't like projectile spammers online because the lag makes me mess up catching them on their rolls or even blocking at the right time. So I want to try to get better with that too, and stop playing online for a while if overall I'm really not enjoying myself enough. There's not so many spammers that it's unbearable tho, so at least there's plenty of other battles to have too.


Everything's a learning process, so it's still going to take to either not mind losing much, at least at first (or ever), or use how you feel as motivation to get better. I'm still learning to have self-esteem myself, so I've still got a ways to go too.

 

[RWyvern]

Yeah honestly, almost everyone here’s already said all that needs to be said. My two cents — I can’t access any competitive scene where I live, at least not safely/comfortably, so I stick firmly with online and casual competitive matches with friends and family. While I play three characters (none very well lol), I mostly stick with Ridley online, simply because of physical limitations versus the people I now find myself matched up against (can’t press buttons as fast as them, so I play the hard read game). Even when I’m totally outmatched speed-wise I can learn from my screwups and I’m honestly surprised I’m managing to keep up a GSP at about 2.5 mil, as of typing this. Even touched Elite twice, for brief, sweet moments!

Some of the trouble I run into is matchups. Pichu destroys me, the adorable powerhouse. There’s also a lack of matchup knowledge, and not knowing how to work around certain strats (plenty of both, in a game this big). Rather than get salty, I try to figure it out. It’s like a puzzle — just a very frenetic, on-your-feet kinda puzzle. In the event I do end up getting salty, I put the game down for a bit and mess around with something else less stressful.

I never blame the other player for my losses. They likely worked just as hard, if not harder, to reach the levels they have. Even if I do something legitimately dumb (like Ridley’s up-b but into the abyss, or a failed fair train to the blast zone), they probably earned that win.

Despite the aforementioned limitations, I’m beginning to take my other two characters into online matches. Their GSP’s drastically lower, but hey, I’m having fun, and improving every step of the way. Maybe in a year’s time I can look back on my old replays and say, with certainty: ‘damn I improved.’

 

[Vierge]

I haven't seen these points made yet, unless they were in one of the 5-paragraph essay posts I didn't read.

Best advice 20xx:

- Don't join arenas with rules that you feel put you at a disadvantage
- Block arena creators who shut down when they lose or get stuck in queue (this is a design flaw by Nintendo simply because of how uncool it allows people to be)

- If you want the best feels playing online, invest in the experience. Use the tools available, including the voice chat application and the overly restrictive taunt messages (especially at the start of a match). Creating an environment of social awareness will help you reap your just deserts, win or lose. Anti-social jerks and cheesy spammers will lose confidence, but socially responsible players will respect you. One way of doing this is to taunt when you pull off a clutch combo or punish, not just because you got a KO. It shows that what you care about is improving, so you can compete in offline games that should matter more anyway. If you adapt a playstyle like this, you may find online play to be exhausting and to cause you anxiety, but it will prevent you from feeling like an incompetent fool.

- bonus tip: if you are struggling against projectile spammers, all you can do is practice your character's approach. I find that the new aerial dodge is useful in closing in on projectile spam

 

[Ghidorah14]

I can’t even enjoy friendlies with my actual friend without getting salty. After like 30 losses I just lost the will to continue. He plays at local tournaments so he just craps on me for free and I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. It doesn’t feel like I’m improving at all.

Losing just f-ing sucks. Some of you just don’t understand what it’s like to be unable to not get salty.

I imagine OP is in a similar mindset where it doesn’t seem like there’s light at the end of the tunnel.

 

[NathanD]

It's all a mind set thing. I used to show my friends broken ass **** in games like Marvel vs Capcom so they could use it against me to practice against it. I enjoy navigating through a seemingly impossible wall seeing through into the mind of my opponent. I often find people who love the busted stuff have a very similiar mind and are typically easy once you get inside it.

Take some time away from the game to get your mind right. Most of my personal growth comes alone in the dark.

 

[Greave]

One thing you need to keep repeating to yourself when you get upset from a loss is "Be Zen." But what does that mean?

Contrary to popular belief, meditation isn't about clearing your mind of all thoughts, because that's impossible. Real meditation is *allowing* those thoughts to occur without passing judgment or having an opinion on them. Allow them to drift through. The salt you feel from losing isn't gonna go away for a long time. Accept that it's natural and inevitable, but realize that it doesn't have to mean anything, you don't have to act on it, and it doesn't have to inform the rest of your thoughts. That's how to be Zen.

Your mindset can absolutely change, but it's not like flipping a switch. Thought processes are habits just like any other, and are hard to change without forming new habits to take their place. It'll take awhile, but training yourself to be Zen will eventually become habit, and the salt will feel less and less meaningful each time until it doesn't even come anymore.

Nothing so far has been discovered in this game that can't be adapted to and overcome (yes, not even Belmont spam). You might lose to it over and over again, but instead of thinking that it's unfair, or annoying, or frustrating, realize that in each loss you get some kind of information that brings you closer to the point of adapting. Even when you get ultra stomped to the point where you don't even know your mistakes, you do learn what your opponent's character is capable of, and in the future that knowledge will be useful.

Taking a break from the game until you can work on real life improvement can work, but also keep in mind that working on your game mindsets could be a springboard for working on your real life issues. If you have self esteem issues, sometimes raising your self esteem in the microcosm of a video game (especially with a supportive community like us) can make it easier to improve it in real life environments.

 

[Deleted member]

I suggest you have your main, a secondary, and a tertiary character. Drop any character who isn't actually worth your time. Your losses could be because of lack of match up experience, your character vs your opponents, unaware of what you should be looking out for, not using your character properly, or something else. If you're not noticing your opponents patterns, then it'll be a little more difficult to deal with. Make it your goal to learn as you play. If you win in the process, then good. If you're being too aggressive, that may be the reason you're losing. If you're being too defensive, then that could also be the reason. You don't want to become predictable. So if you're always going for an attack and your opponent blocks, then you're obviously going to be punished afterwards. If you're blocking too much yourself, then your opponent will go for more grabs until you figure out that you should try using another defensive option.

Sword characters in general are difficult to fight against because of their long ranged disjointed hitboxes. Projectile characters become predictable they're just spamming. You could try using a character with a reflector or a character with better ranged attacks. Getting upset isn't going to help you focus. It would probably be best you stop playing the game when you're getting too upset and relax. And if you ever think, "Your character won because you're using a better character," then get rid of that mindset, because excuses won't help you improve.

I think I might be playing offensively all the time, regardless of which character I use.

Cleaning my main list leaves me with either Donkey Kong or King K. Rool as my main/secondary, and then Richter as my tertiary, removing Incineroar and Pokemon Trainer. Now what?

 

[ChikoLad]

I mostly get mad in online games purely due to instances of lag spikes, most notably when I actually am trying to achieve some sort of goal, such as getting into Elite Smash in this game. It can be really frustrating when you are making an honest to god effort to improve and get better, and you feel that pay off offline, but then you go online and all of a sudden you can't beat someone spamming the same stuff over and over because delayed or entirely ignored inputs mess up any and all of your attempts to punish whiffs or perform more advanced movement options. It's so easy to lose to a campy Zelda or Dedede in a bad online match no matter how good you are as a player. This, combined with the brutal GSP loss rate, can be pretty demoralising, especially if you actually want to get into Elite Smash and stay there to have your character be accounted for in balance updates.

For me, I've simply stopped caring about Elite Smash and I don't even main Rosalina anymore (who I wanted to keep in Elite Smash). In general, I feel focusing in on one character for online play is a recipe for frustration because it's very easy to take losses as a sign of your prowess in that character wavering, when you have to remember that online actually does skew the experience so that's not actually necessarily true. I'm not saying to never blame losses on yourself, and honestly my connection experience has been solid in this game, but this is a practice I have learned from other games too.

One tip I have is that if you lose once with a character, change to another character or take a break from the game for an hour or two to do something else, or even just go do some single-player content (this is how I ended up beating all of the Classic Mode routes, especially since a series of online matches gets you a decent amount of money to spend on Classic Tickets or continues in Classic Mode). This not only makes a losing streak less likely to happen (losing streaks tend to start with one loss and your inability to restrain yourself from playing and losing more while your frustration rises and your focus falls), but it can give you time to think about areas you might need work on if that's the case, and overall gives you a more calm attitude toward the whole affair and time to unwind. If you treat ranking climbing like a job, then much like an actual job you get paid to do, it's likely to cause you some stress. But unlike a real job, you can walk away from your ranking climbing and not suffer any serious repercussions. It's not really reflective of how good of a player you are.

Now for arenas, I can't speak much on those, as I only use them to play with friends I actually know and can talk to while playing. I dislike the lobby system in this game so I'll only tolerate it to play some proper matches with friends. However, since arenas have no real ranking or anything tied to them, I would think it's even easier to swallow your pride and take a breather if you are consistently losing.

Overall rule of thumb is that, unless you actually intend to go professional (I considered it at one point, but don't think I will), Smash is just a video game and you can walk away from it. If it stops being fun, stop playing for a bit, go do something else, and come back later, refreshed and with renewed determination.

 

[Deleted member]

Get with people who are willing to help you get better. They may beat you senseless but you can talk to them afterward and work through where your mistakes were in a positive light. Anther’s Ladder might help since it’s easier to join up with people online now due to arenas being a thing.

I joined recently. I played my first ranked match. Let's just say I had to demote K. Rool because of it. But at least I now know how to counter Snake. It's a good site.

UPDATE: With D3 suddenly good again, DK and Belmont have also been dropped. I should wait for an official tier list.